Just A Summer Thing
by AnnLaw
Summary: It's the summer after 'The Leaver's Dance', and Peyton has moved in with Lucas and Haley. All three friends are nursing their broken hearts by having too good of a time...yeah, things get worse. Mainly LH, with some NH, slight BL, possible JP. R&R, SVP...
1. UnHaleyLike

_**Disclaimer: I do not own OTH or any of its characters...yet. BWAHahahahaha!**_

Un-Haley-Like

"Popcorn."

"Check."

"Gummi Worms"

"Check."

"Alcohol.

"Ummm...huh?"

Peyton turned and stared open-mouthed at Haley whose attention was focused entirely on the alcohol-filled shelves in front of them. The aisle they were standing in was virtually empty but Peyton glanced around them surreptitiously nonetheless. "Ha, Ha, Haley, very funny." she chuckled.

Haley glanced at her. "Whose kidding?" She turned back around and surveyed a bottle of Jack Daniels before grabbing a six-pack of beer. "Okay, alcohol, Check." she murmured below her breath. "Next on the list, the chips aisle." She started for the next stack of shelves but Peyton's hand on her wrist, stopped her.

"Haley!" Peyton whispered "Are you kidding me! Since when do you drink? Since when do you even know what beer _is?" _

Haley smiled wryly."Peyton, come on." she said pulling from her friends grip. "You drink all the time."

Peyton nodded "Yeah, I _used_ drink all the time. You used to study. And tutor and do all kinds of good deeds. But you never drank."

Haley sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay Saint Peyton, thanks for the run-down of my angelic deeds, but I am far from a do-gooder these days. Actually some people think that I'm more of a do-badder than a do-gooder right now."

Peyton shook her head. "Haley that's not true! You made a mistake, okay. That doesn't make you a bad person."

Haley looked her in the eye. "Oh really?" she asked, her voice breaking despite herself. "I'm sure Nathan would disagree with you a little on that one. In fact, I'm sure that he'd disagree with you completely." She looked down as her friend stared at her sadly, and the tears threatened to come. And she remembered...

_"Haley." Nathan said in shock. His eyes locked on hers as they stared wordlessly at one another._

_"Hi." She said softly. She didn't know what else to say. She'd expected him to slam the door in her face, and the fact that he hadn't, erased all thoughts from her head. She had no idea what to do."How are you?" she asked _

_"Heartbroken," he said coolly "and yourself?" _

_Haley closed her eyes. There it was. The anger and derision...the hate. It comforted her somehow knowing that she was getting what she expected. What she deserved._

_"What are you doing here Haley?" Nathan asked abruptly "What? Did Chris lose interest in you and kick you out of his bed? Or did you dump him? Yeah, you probably ditched him, that's more your speed."_

_Haley felt the tears begin to fall as she stared at the man whose hate for her radiated from him in waves of orange and crimson. "Nathan, I'm not with Chris,"she said." I never was." _

_Nathan glared at her coldly but he didn't say a word. _

_She took a deep breath. "If you would just let me explain--- "_

_"Look," Nathan interrupted " I really don't want to hear anything you have to say. You left me, okay? It's pretty plain and simple. I loved you, and you left and went away--with Chris. That pretty much sums up and concludes our joke of a marriage. That is all that I need to know." Nathan backed away and began to close the door. Then he stopped. " Oh yeah, I gave my lawyer the Anullment papers and he's started the divorce proceedings. You should expect some papers in the mail pretty soon." He smiled at her scoffingly. "Happy divorce." he said cheerfully. _

_Then he slammed the door, leaving Haley sobbing on his front steps...as sirens wailed in the distance..._

"Haley?...Haley are you listening?"

Haley shook herself from her reverie and looked at Peyton who was watching her worriedly. She sighed. "Seriously Peyton, it's not that serious. Do-gooder Haley has retired now,okay. She's gone." She grinned slowly." Rocker-Haley's here and all she wants to do is partee!" She whirled around and started towards the chips aisle. "Now let's go load up on some Cheetos...and possibly some Ruffles..."

She turned to go but Peyton stopped her again.

"Haley, seriously. At the risk of sounding like some Public Announcement, you don't need that beer. How are you planning on buying it anyways, you're underage".

Haley smiled mysteriously. "Rocker-Haley has her ways..." she said secretively. At Peyton's mystified stare, she took out her wallet and opened it to display an ID card that listed her birth year as '83.

Peyton's eyebrows shot up to her hairline. "Wow," she said impressed despite herself "that looks pretty authentic. Where'd you get it?"

Haley grinned. " _I'll never tell..._" she said in a singsong voice reminiscent of Brittany Murphy's in _Don't Say a Word. _

Peyton smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes and Haley could tell that it wasn't sincere. She sighed again, and threw an arm around her friend's shoulder. "Peyton, it's summer time,right?" she pointed out. "Even Haley James lets go during the summer."

Peyton looked at her uncertainly. "So you're saying that this is a...summer thing? You're just having fun, that's it?" Hayley smiled and poked her in the side.

"Yes, this is just a summer thing and I plan to unwind and have fun in a completely un-Haley-like way." She grinned in a way that could only be described as Brooke-like and tilted her head."Okay?" she said. As Peyton stared at her, her grin widened and Peyton's unsure smile melted away.

"Okay, I'll let you partee this summer completely comment-free, but only under one condition." Haley arched an eyebrow suspiciously. "What?" she asked.

"You must let me party with you. And I will not take no for an answer."

Hayley grinned."You know," she pondered "I think that can be arranged." She bent down and picked up another six-pack of beer, and winked at her friend. "Yup, that can be arranged." She laughed as she walked to the next aisle.

So, she didn't see Peyton's troubled stare follow her to the Tostitos.


	2. Three's Company

Three's Company

"Hey Brooke. This is Lucas...Again. I know that I've left you like a million messages, but I really need to talk to you. Please call me back."

Lucas sighed and stared at his phone. Brooke hadn't returned any of his phone-calls. Not one. And for the life of him, he couldn't understand why. He'd thought that everything was alright when she came back home for his father's funeral. He'd thought that they would finally be together...

_"Brooke! What are you doing here?"_

_Lucas stared at the slender figure of his ex-girlfriend who stared silently at him from his doorsteps. _

_"Hi Luke."she said quietly. "I heard about your father, and I thought...well, I thought you might need me." Her voice was husky and low as she looked into his eyes and he looked away, a familiar lump growing in his throat. He moved aside and opened his door wider so that she could come in. _

_"Come in." he said quietly. Brooke walked passed him and he closed his eyes as her familiar scent of gardenias and vanilla followed in her wake. "Thanks for coming," he said closing the door behind her. "It's been a---well a really crazy time. I really appreciate you being here."_

_Brooke smiled hesitantly as tears filled her eyes. She could see that Lucas was in pain, but he was hiding it behind a staggering wall of composure. A wall that she couldn't get close enough to him to break down. For his sake... and for hers. Brooke looked around her at the room that had been hers very recently. _

_"Well, this room hasn't changed much," she said as she surveyed her surroundings. She tried not to look at the place where Lucas had made his feelings for her so clear mere weeks ago, but her eyes were drawn to the spot. She remembered his mouth passionately covering hers and the heat of his body as he pulled her closely to him...and she remembered pulling away from him...and running. Brooke closed her eyes against the ache that had grown in her chest since that moment. The ache that refused to go away._

_She looked at Lucas and found him staring at her in a way that made warmth rise to her cheek. Okay, so he was making her blush now! Get a grip, Davis! _

_"So where's your mom?" she asked curiously. Lucas shoved his hands into his pockets hoping beyond hope that they would stay there instead of grabbing Brooke and touching her everywhere the way they wanted too. _

_"She's on her way home" he said instead."She was on her way to Australia to see Andy but--I left her a message and she called me during her stopover in Paris." he looked at her. "Where are your bags? Do you want to stay here because I can---"_

_"I'm staying with Peyton" Brooke interrupted "I stopped over there before I came here and...she said it would be alright"_

_Lucas frowned as he nodded at the floor. "So now you won't even stay here with me?"_

_"Luke--"_

_"Brooke, I know you don't want to be with me, but I don't understand it." Lucas stared at her in confusion. "I know you feel the same for me as I feel for you. I can feel it, when I kiss you.I can see it when you look at me!"_

_"Luke--" _

_Lucas walked to her and took her hands in his. His eyes were shining as he stared at her._

_"If there's one thing that I've learned from this whole tragic, ugly experience with Dan--one thing! It's that life is way too short to not take chances. Life is too short to not tell people how you really feel about them! " Tears were running down Lucas's face as he stared at Brooke in desperation. _

_"I need you Brooke..." he whispered. "I need you,so much. Please, stay here with me! Please..." Lucas voice broke and he sank to his knees as Brooke slowly sank down with him._

_"It's okay Lucas," she whispered as she caressed his temple. "It's going to be okay."_

_"Why did he die, Brooke?" he whispered brokenly "Why did he die like that? Why did he die now, before I could tell him how he hurt me? How much I hated him?" Brooke cried as he sobbed into her neck. _

_"I don't know, Luke,"she whispered "I don't know. I'm sorry". She kissed his forehead as he sank into her arms."I'm sorry, baby."_

_Lucas looked into her eyes as a sudden knew warmth started between them. Brooke looked at his lips that were so close to hers.. Suddenly, as if an invisible barrier were broken, they were kissing. Lucas pressed her body closer to his as they lay back onto his carpet._

_"Brooke.." he whispered against her mouth as he slid the straps of her slip-top over her shoulders. He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes with an unspoken question. Brooke pulled his mouth back down to hers, her mind lost in the passion of the moment, her answer clearer than words could have been._

_They let their bodies do the talking for the rest of the night..._

Lucas dropped his phone on the kitchen table and walked to the fridge as he heard giggles erupting in the hallway.

"Loo-casss!" He heard Haley sing out. "Where _are_ you? We have _junk_-food!"

Lucas grinned as Haley and Peyton walked into the room."Hey buddy." He said kissing Haley's cheek.

Haley arched her eyebrows in surprise."Woo, I liked that!" Haley said "I need to buy junk-food more often!" She laughed and threw their bags on the counter before dancing out of the room. Lucas heard Jimmy Eat World start to boom from the living room. He turned and looked at Peyton in time to see her worried expression. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Peyton's frown disappeared and she put on a look of mock-hurt. "Nothing, just waiting for my kiss.You know, I bought junk-food too. Where's my kiss at?"

Lucas chuckled and dropped a kiss on her cheeks, just as Haley danced into the kitchen---in her bra and a pair of boxers. _His_ boxers.

"Uh, Haley?..." Peyton said pointedly glancing at Lucas. Haley looked at her and grinned, as she pulled a six-pack of beer out of one of the bags.

"What?" she asked as she pulled the cap off of a beer. "Oh, Lucas doesn't care! Besides, he's seen me naked."

Peyton's mouth fell open. "What!"

Lucas grinned. "Alas, it's true. I showed her mine and she showed me hers."

Peyton's eyes got even bigger and Haley laughed and threw her arm around Lucas waist, as he smiled down at her.

"Okay, Mr. Don Juan." Haley giggled "She's about to faint. Finish the story."

Lucas laughed at Peyton's expression."Okay, we were nine! And it was an accident." Lucas grinned down at Haley as she pinched his cheek." I really didn't mean to walk in on you in the bath."

Haley arched an eyebrow at him "Sure, keep telling _that_ one, sporty."

She grinned and threw her empty beer bottle in the trash before--grabbing another one.

Lucas's smile withered somewhat."Hales, since when do you drink so much? Or_ at all? _" he asked

Haley frowned "Since when do you care Luke?" she laughed "What, Brooke's not hereso now you care?"At Lucas's stunned expression, Haley softened the blow with a smile. "Kidding!" she said "I'm just having fun Luke." she said. "Chill out."

She poked him in the stomach and winked before dancing into the living room.Lucas frowned and looked at Peyton. "How many of those has she already had?" he asked

Peyton wordlessly held up three fingers, and Lucas's mouth fell open. They both listened together as Haley started singing at the top of her lungs from the other room.

"Guys what are you doing in there?" Haley yelled "You better not be making out again, we all know how that turned out." She laughed loudly. " Hey, come on in here and dance with me, instead!"

Peyton and Lucas stared at each other."I'm worried about her Luke." Peyton said quietly. "I'm really worried."

Luke looked at an old picture of him and Haley that his mom kept on the fridge, and his frown melted away. "Peyton, this is Haley we're talking about." he said goodnaturedly " She's just having fun. Let her live it up a little.She needs it."

Peyton didn't look convinced. "Are you sure?"

Lucas tilted his head. "She'll be fine Peyton, don't worry.This _is_ Haley were talking about."

Peyton nodded slowly. "You've got a point there" she conceded. "Okay, I'll take your word for it." Lucas grinned and reached for a beer and Peyton slowly surveyed him. He caught her watching him and raised an eyebrow.

"You know that Haley was joking about that whole making out thing, right--" He ducked as she threw a flip flop at him and grinned.

Peyton shook her head at him. " Actually, I was...wondering something."

Lucas noticed her serious tone and looked at her. "What's up?" he asked.

Peyton bit her lip. "Well remember when I told you about those strange, prank e-mails I've been getting?" Lucas nodded. "Well, they're not so much prankey as they are...well, spooky."

Lucas frowned. "Peyt, why didn't you tell me? I didn't know they were bothering you."

Peyton shrugged. "I didn't want to make a big deal about it but---it's kinda become a big deal."

Lucas walked over and put his arms around her. "I'm so sorry I haven't been there for you."

Peyton eyes widened as she nodded. "Yeah, it's not like you've been _busy_ or anything lately."

Lucas smiled wryly catching her unspoken point. " Still, even with everything's that's happened, I could have been there for you." he said gently. "Have you gone to the police about the e-mails yet?" he asked.

"Yeah.."Peyton nodded. " They kind of just brushed it off as a prank but--ever since that thing with that woman claiming to be my mom--I just--I'm scared Luke."

Lucas held her. "I'm sorry,Peyton. What can I do?"

Peyton looked up at him."Well, I was hoping that maybe...I could move in here with you and Haley." She said the last few words quickly so she wouldn't lose her nerve. "You know just for a few weeks--till my dad gets back home. I figure since your mom's going to be gone for a little while, there might be some room---"

Lucas grinned broadly. " Of course! You me and Hales! It's going to be a party every night!"

Peyton smiled with relief. "Thanks Luke." she said hugging him tightly. "I _really_ appreciate this."

Lucas tugged at her curls, playfully."Are you kidding me! I should say thanks. I've always fantasized about being in a _Three's Company _set-up with two hot chicks! Thank you for making my dream come true." He chuckled as Peyton swatted his arm. Just then, Haley walked in--wearing a red tank top this time--and took another beer.

"What's going on guys?" she asked curiously as she caught the exchange.

Peyton took the beer from her hands and took a long swallow. "Say hello to your new roomie!" she exclaimed.

Haley's smile widened and she threw her arms around both Lucas and Peyton.

" Awesome!" she cried excitedly. "We're our own Three's Company!" Peyton and Lucas looked at each other and started laughing as Haley gazed at them in mystified wonder. She looked at Peyton and smiled slowly. "You know, Peyton? You're a natural Chrissy!"

She giggled loudly as Lucas grinning in amusement,scooped her up and walked out of the room leaving a chagrin Peyton standing there.

"Natural Chrissy!" she cried "What do you mean by that?... Haley! What do you mean?"

She hurried after them.


	3. It's a Pain

It's a Pain

The bright light radiating through the bedroom window caused Peyton to slowly open her eyes. She groaned as she suddenly felt a dull ache begin to pound in her head. She slowly reached for her forehead with both hands, and stopped short when she realised that though both hands were on her head, there were still a pair interlaced on her waist. She lifted her head and squinted at Haley and Lucas who lay curled up beside her. Evidently none of them had made it to their rooms last night...or all of them had made it to Karen's room. It depended on how you looked at it. Either way, it was still pretty bad. Peyton lay back and surveyed the ceiling. Although she had been a heavy partier in her day, even she knew that all three of them were quickly spiraling out of control.

She had been living with Lucas and Haley for two weeks now and she'd awoken in her own bed only three times so far. And this was her sixth time waking up with a hangover, which was in her opinion, six times too many. She sighed as she turned and looked at her friends who lay beside her. It had been a turbulent couple of weeks. Haley practically broke a leg rushing to her phone everytime it rang, thinking it might be Nathan, and feeling her heart shrink everytime it wasn't...which was always. And Lucas wouldn't say who he kept on calling twice a day, but from his troubled expression everytime he hung up the phone, and Brooke's overly-obvious way of asking about everything _but_ Lucas when Peyton spoke to her, she could only guess what had him so down in the depths. And _her_ heart wasn't feelings quite so pain-free either. She turned on her side and stared at the picture of her, Jake and Jenny that she'd drawn a few weeks before he left. It had somehow found it's way to the side-table beside her, and she could only guess how that had happened. She tended to haul the picture around with her whenever she got drunk. It was a pathetic habit she'd developed since moving to Lucas's, one she had every intention of nipping in the bud. Peyton's eyes involuntarily filled as she gazed at the picture. Jake's arms were around both her Jenny and they all looked so happy...but she hadn't heard a single word from Jake since he's left in what seemed like so long ago, but was only mere weeks.

Peyton sighed. Still...during her turbulent years as Nathan's girl-friend, she'd had endless nights of practice in dealing with a heavy heart by covering it with alcohol. And one of the many things she'd learned was that it didn't work. Extreme partying and drinking, did nothing but make matters worse, and all three of them needed to stop relying on it to take away the pain...or they would all regret it. She heard rustling behind her and watched as Lucas slowly stretched on the other side of the bed.

"Good morning." Peyton whispered cheerfully in the perky way that she couldn't stop herself from doing. Being a cheerleader had left some horrible side effects-- such as being overly perky in the morning. That, and doing impromptu cheers at inopportune moments.

Lucas squinted at her. "Well," he said slowly "I don't know how good it is, but it's definitely morning. That sun is shining the hell out of this room."

Peyton smiled. " Do you think that we should wake Haley up with an annoyingsong, OR a morning wedgy?"

Lucas chuckled. " Probably neither." he murmured "Haley is not quite as cheery as you are in the morning, and I think that I actually want to live to see another day." He grinned down at his red-headed friend who lay snuggled beside him and gently kissed her forehead. Peyton smiled at the gesture. She hadn't fully realised how close Lucas and Haley were until she moved in with them. Besides the virtually hundreds of pictures of them that Karen had in a trunk in her room, and all the stories they had about growing up together, there was just something about the way that they were with one another. An intimate way that Peyton had never seen them be with anybody else. It was special...and sometimes a little disconcerting. _Jealous_? A tiny voice inquired in the back of her mind. Peyton thought about it for a moment. Yes, she thought silently. Everyone should have a friendship like the one that Luke and Haley shared.

Peyton watched as Lucas absently stroked Haley's hair, and sighed inwardly. Jake, she thought sadly, where are you? I miss you and Jenny so much! Lucas noticed her expression, and frowned at the unshed tears in her eyes. "Peyton?" he said.

She shook her head dismissively. " I'm alright. I just miss Jake, that's all. I think that the left-over alcohol in my system is causing me to feel uber-sensitive." She closed her eyes briefly against the ache in her throat and continued. "Speaking of which..." She looked into Lucas eyes and smiled wryly. "I think that it's time for us to shut down Studio 54, Luke."

Lucas started to nod and then stopped as the pain in his head started to throb intensely. "The pain in my head would have to agree with you, Peyt." He sighed. "I guess with all that's going on with each of us, it's been easy to just let go and not think..." He stared across the bed at Peyton and his eyes belied the hurt that his voice had managed to control. " It's just been so much easier for me to have fun and forget about everything...than to face it and let it take over."

He glanced down at Haley. "I think that Haley's getting the worse of it, though." he murmured.

Peyton's eyes widened as she nodded. "It has to be harder for her, than it is for us," she said softly " I mean, she lost her _husband_. And Nate's been so cold to her---"

"Yeah, but under the circumstances, can we really blame him?" Lucas interrupted,slowly sitting upright as the pain in his head grew more intense. "I mean she really broke his heart, Peyton. Haley wasn't thinking about Nathan when she left Tree Hill, she was thinking about herself---"

"Is that what you really think, Lucas?"

Peyton and Lucas both stared at Haley as she glared at Lucas, her eyes huge and round in her ashen face.

"Answer me Luke!" she cried as she sat up. "Don't hold back now! I mean is it hard for you to speak to me now that I'm actually awake? Now that you have to look me in the eye!"

Peyton sat up. "Haley, he didn't mean---"

"I thought you understood." Haley whispered as silent tears began to fall down her cheeks. "I thought that you were on my side with this. You said that when you came to New York. You said that you would always be there for me!"

Lucas stared at her, wounded by the hurt and betrayal emanating from her eyes. "And I will Hales!" he said softly "Even when I don't understand your decisions I'll be there for you, remember? I said that too. And I do undestand why you left." he said softly "but I understand why Nathan left and went to High Flyers also, Hales. He had to go after his dream. Just like you went after yours."

"This is not about him going to High Flyers this summer Lucas! This has to do with what he did to me before he left! Was it okay to hurt me in the process because I hurt him? Is that what you're saying Lucas?"

Lucas felt anger well up inside him. Haley wasn't being fair. "Haley, you signed the Anullment papers! You signed them and you gave them to me to give to him! You wanted your marriage to be over just as much as he did!"

" But I came back Lucas!" She sobbed "I cut out on a career that I have only dreamed about! I left a city that I loved! I turned my back on what could have been an incredibly successful singing career to come here and work things out with Nathan and he slammed the door in my face. Twice! How can you defend that! How can you?"

Lucas anger faded away at the sight of the sorrow on his best-friend's face. He reached for her. "Haley, I'm sorry, " he whispered "I'm so sorry..."

Haley let him wrap his arms around her for a moment as she sobbed into his chest...but then she remembered his words stinging her like the poison they were and she pulled away. She climbed off the bed and hurried out of the room, pulling off her night shirt as she went.

"Haley, where are you going?" Peyton asked. Haley didn't answer her.

"Haley?" Lucas called. They walked out of the room in time to see Haley pull her arms inside a t-shirt before fastening her jeans.

Peyton stopped and stared at her. "Haley?" she asked quietly "where are you going?"

Haley turned to her, her face wet with tears as Lucas stared at her."I just have to be by myself right now Peyton". She said brokenly. "I have to get out of here."

"Hales--!"Lucas began imploringly

"Can I use your car Peyton?" Haley pleaded "Please?'

"Haley, " Lucas said, his voice breaking "Let me go with you, so we can talk---"

"Please,Peyton!" Haley implored.

Peyton nodded wordlessly. Her blue eyes locked with Haley's brown ones in silent understanding.

Lucas walked towards her. " Haley, I'm sorry." he said softly. "Okay! I'm sorry, please don't go like this!"

Haley grabbed Peyton's car keys from the counter. She glanced at him with a look of such betrayal and pain, that Lucas froze where he stood.

She stared at him in silence for a moment that seemed longer than anything he'd ever experienced before.

"I've always been your best-friend, Lucas." She said softly. "But you've proved to me that sometime after Nathan, you stopped being mine." Tears fell silently down her face as she stared at him woodenly.

"Why don't you go call your brother?" she murmured "Give him my love, will you?" She turned and walked out of the house, and they listened as Peyton's car started up and roared away into the distance. Peyton looked at Lucas, who stood silently staring at the screen door that Haley had just walked through. Peyton looked at him as he stood unmoving, like a statue.

"Luke, she didn't mean that." she began."She's just hurt, she'll---"

She didn't get to finish what she was saying as Lucas turned and walked passed her into his room,quietly shutting the door behind him.


	4. End Game

End Game

Haley stared up at the basketball hoop hovering above her, expressionlessly. She was sitting below the hoop at the court where she'd watched Lucas play and win countless games throughout the years. Before he joined the Ravens at Tree Hill High. Before he had introduced Nathan into her life. Haley harshly wiped away the tears that streamed down her face and grabbed another beer from the almost empty six-pack beside her.

"Don't think about him, Haley." she muttered to herself "He's not worth it. Nathan does not deserve anymore of your tears."

But it was too late. Nathan was filling her thoughts...invading her memories.She remembered...

_She was standing on the front steps of the Scott estate nervously pulling on her red dress. When Nathan had called her thatafternoon and apologized for how he'd reacted to her the week before, she'd alomst fainted. Nathan never apologized. Especially when it wasn't completely his fault. When he'd invited her over to talk, she'd just about died. The night he'd slammed the door in her face, she'd thought it was over. And at his father's funeral, he wouldn't even look her way. And now he was inviting her over to his house to talk! She'd almost broken her phone in excitement. He had said to meet him at 6:00 o'clock that night which had given her only six hours to get ready and she'd practically flown to Brooke's favorite store MIA to buy a dress and some new shoes. Nathan loved her in red, so she'd bought one of the slinkiest, sexiest dresses she could find. She was going to use everything in her power to make Nathan smile at her again._

_She anxiously rang the doorbell again as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.She looked down and straightened her dress as the door slowly opened in front of her. She smiled brightly and looked up into the eyes...of a tall, slender blond in front of her. She frowned and stepped back to look at the number on the house...and it was Nathan's. But who was this?_

_"May I help you?" the blond inquired frostily. She sipped out of a champagne flute that she was holding and surveyed Haley disdainfully from head to toe. Haley's frown deepened. "I don't think so, I-I was looking for--."_

_Just then Nathan appeared beside the blond and stared at her. "Oh. That's right, I'd forgotten you were coming over." _

_Haley's mouth fell open and the blond's eyebrows rose curiously. __"Who is she?" she asked snootily. _

_Nathan smiled at her. "She's no one important, babe. Why don't you go freshen up, we're leaving in a few minutes." The blond sighed and shot Haley one last look before throwing her arms around Nathan's neck end kissing him so passionately that Haley had no doubt as to how close they already were._

_Haley felt bile rise up in her thraot as the girl smirked at her and sautered into the house. Nathan watched her walk away before turning to sneer at Haley._

_"Nathan,what is this?" Haley gasped "Who is that--that girl?" _

_Nathan sighed impatiently. "Well Haley, though it really isn't any of your business anymore," he said "That girl is _my_ Chris. Except _we_ haven't slept together...yet."_

_Haley's heart felt like it was shrinking into a tight little ball of coal. She couldn't believe that Nathan was doing this to her. She couldn't believe that this was happening at all. _

_"I thought you called me because you wanted to try to work things out." Haley whispered. "I thought that you wanted to try again..."_

_Nathan scoffed at her. "Work things out!" he said incredulously "with you?" and then he laughed. He actually laughed in her face. Haley felt her heart break right at that moment. She literally felt it shatter into a million pieces inside her chest. Tears began to stream down her cheeks like a waterfall. __A waterfall of misery._

_"Why did you ask me to come here Nathan?" she managed to gasp "why did you call me at all?" _

_Nathan looked at her, and for a moment--just a moment, she thought she saw something there. Some tiny shred of the Nathan she knew and loved staring back at her, feeling her agony, sharing her pain. But then it was gone. And the new Nathan-- the hard, cold mirror of Dan Scott--was there, glaring at her soulessly. "I called you over so I could give you these in person. So that there'd be no mistakes. No miscommunications." He thrust a sheaf of papers at her. _

_Haley stared down at the papers through her tears. "The Anullment papers? You called me here so that you could give me these!" She didn't understand and Nathan saw her confusion. _

_"It's official." he said "You and I are no longer married. You're free to pursue Chris--oh I'm sorry-- your career." He smiled coldly and thrust the papers at her again. "Here, take them and go. You're finally free... Tutor Girl."_

_Haley stared at Nathan in silence. The ache in her chest was almost unbearable and her throat was so tight she could almost not breathe. But cold anger had begun to mingle with the hurt. Nathan had purposely set out to hurt her. He had set up this whole meeting, just so he could wipe the girl and the divorce in her face. He had truly become worse than he had ever been. And she hated him. With every tear that fell, she hated him more. She wiped her damp face and then stared at the man she'd once trusted with her heart._

_"Congratulations Nate." she said softly "You have truly become your father's son. Dan would be proud."_

_Nathan's eyes narrowed briefly before becoming cold and expressionless. "Thank you". He said stonily. "That's a compliment coming from you. You see, dad always thought you were trash." He surveyed her disgustedly from head to toe."Looks like he was right". He winked at her one last time. Then he shut the door in her face. Haley stared at the huge door for a long moment, before turning to walk away. She stumbled on the driveway, but she lifted her head and walked determinedly to Peyton's car which she'd borrowed. It wasn't until she was safely back in Peyton's driveway that she lay her head on the wheel and started to cry..._

"Haley? Haley, is that you?"

Haley hastily dried her tears and looked up at the approaching figure." Mouth? Hey Mouth, how are you?" She watched as Mouth reached her side and stared down at her.

"Haley?" he said gently. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

Haley smiled. "I'm doing great! Haven't you heard? I'm a free woman!" She giggled and lifted the beer in her hand in a toast, but she lost her balance and fell back--which caused her to erupt into even more giggles.

Mouth frowned. "Haley...how many of those have you had? " he asked, motioning to the beer.

Haley held up two fingers which Mouth surveyed in disbelief to her apparent amusement. "Okay," she said,"You got me". She laughed loudly and held up two more fingers... much to Mouth's dismay.

"Haley," he said helping her sit back up "What's wrong? Since when do you drink so much? Since when do you even drink?"

Haley frowned. "Why does everybody think I don't drink?" she asked in bewilderment. "I drink! I drink like a fish!" To prove her point, she picked up her half-empty bottle and took a long swallow.

Mouth's frown deepened. "Haley, you're drunk.Or you're pretty close to it. " he said quietly "If an adult catches you, your toast."

Haley's eyes widened. "We better be careful then Mouth." she said covering her mouth."Shhhh! Don't tell anyone!" She burst into laughter again and Mouth looked around them anxiously. He saw Peyton's car a few feet away. "Where's Peyton? Did she drive you here or did you borrow her car?"

Haley shrugged mysteriously, but Mouth saw the car keys beside her. He grabbed them and started to pull Haley to her feet.

"Come on, I'm taking you home." he grunted as he struggled with her.

Haley froze, seeming to grow sober for a moment. "Where is that, Mouth?" she asked quietly. "Where's...home?"

Mouth stared at her as a single tear fell down her cheek. "Haley..." he said gently "It's going to be all right. Don't cry."

Haley's mouth trembled as she looked at him. She shook her head. "No it's not Mouth. "she whispered "It's not ever going to be alright again." The tears began to fall more freely and Mouth put his arms around her and helped her stumble to Peyton's car.

He left the beer behind.


	5. Simpler Days

Simpler Days

Lucas listened to the phone ringing on the other end of the line. He sighed as he realised that he was going to be leaving another message, and he pondered what he could possibly say that would sound different from the countless other messages he'd already left, when he suddenly heard a sound coming from the other line.

"H-hello? Is someone there?" he asked. He heard someone take a deep breath, and then...

"Stop calling me, Lucas".

Lucas froze at the sound of her voice. "Brooke?" he said. Brooke sighed. She sounded tense and Lucas frowned at the realisation that he was causing her tension.

"I mean it Luke." she said "You need to stop calling me."

Lucas stared at his reflection in his mirror as her words hit home. "She didn't want him to call her anymore. She didn't want to hear his voice at all.

"Brooke---"

"We aren't together, okay?" she cried emotionally "That night before I left..." she paused and lowered her voice " that night before I left again was a mistake. We should have never slept together. Especially with how you were feeling--"

"Brooke, that night had nothing to do with Dan okay! That night was special to me! You're special to me!" He stood up and paced the floor. " I knew what I was doing. I wanted to be with you so bad--"

"No you didn't--"

"I wanted you so bad, that I couldn't stop myself. Even if we'd tried. And I know you felt the same way!"

He could hear Brooke crying softly on the other line and it was all that he could do not to drop the phone and fly to California right at that moment.

"Brooke, I care about you." he said his voice breaking "I want to be in your life. Please don't let what we have--what I want us to have--disappear just because of something that isn't true ."

Brooke was silent on the other end of the line and Lucas saw it as a sign of hope. "I want to be with you Brooke. You have to give us a chance."

Silence. And then: "And Peyton?"

Lucas frowned. "Peyton's just a friend,okay? I care about her, but just as a friend. I want you."

"You mean it?" Brooke whispered. Lucas closed his eyes. "More than anything."

"Because I can't be hurt again, Lucas," she said softly "I can't go through what I went through before with you two. I can't--"

"Lucas!" Peyton burst through Lucas bedroom door and grabbed his arm. "Lucas, Mouth is here, he just brought Haley home and she's in a bad way Luke. A really bad way."

Luke's eyes widened in concern. He closed his eyes, briefly. "Brooke--"

"I heard her." Brooke's voice was cold. "Go take care of your friend Luke."

Lucas sighed "Brooke, I--"

"I guess Peyton isn't the only other woman in your life that I have to worry about."

"I'm sorry--"

"Goodbye Lucas."

Lucas listened to the dial tone for a moment that seemed to go on forever. Then he threw his phone on his bureau and hurried into the living room.

Mouth was helping Haley onto the couch and he looked up as Lucas walked in."Hey, she belong to you?" he joked lightheartedly.

Lucas's heart twisted at the sight of his forlorn friend. "Always.." he said softly as Haley looked up at him. Her eyes filled with tears at the sight of him and she reached out to him.

"Lucas.." she said softly. Lucas put his arm around her and she started sobbing into his shoulder. "It hurts.." She sobbed "Lucas it hurts so much!"

Lucas's throat filled and his arms tightened around her. "I know, buddy." he whispered. "I know."

He reached under her and lifted her into his arms. _Thanks_, he mouthed to Mouth as he turned and walked to Haley's room. He heard Mouth ask Peyton what was going on as he settled Haley down on her bed. He pulled off her flip flops and she looked up at him as he brushed her hair from her forehead.

"You were right Lucas" she whispered "about me and Nathan." She stared up at him morosely. "It was my fault. It was all my fault. I should never have left."

Lucas sat down beside her and brushed a tear from her cheek. "Haley,it's not your fault. You needed to go to New York. You needed to follow your dream."

Haley stared at him. "But you said--"

Lucas frowned. "Forget what I said, Haley! I was wrong, okay? Nathan should never have set you up to see him with that girl, the way he did! You deserve more than that. You deseve more, Haley okay?" When she didn't answer, he took her hand in his, and looked deeply into her eyes. "Okay?" he repeated determindly.

Haley stared at her friend wordlessly. " I don't know Lucas..." she finally said. "I don't know if I do."

They stared at each other for a moment, their gaze broken only when Peyton walked into the room.

"Hey Haley."She said softly. "How do you feel?" Haley tried to smile, but she couldn't.

"I feel like a Mack truck is trying to drive itself through my head on it's way to my heart." she said humorlessly. Peyton smiled shakily.

"I'm glad you're okay." she said "You had me and Lucas pretty scared earlier."

Haley looked from Peyton to Lucas and back again."Yeah, I'm sorry about that." she said "I just had to be alone...you know?" She looked at Peyton who nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I do" she said. She reached for Haley's hand and they smiled at each other as Haley took it.

"Thank you Peyton," she said "for everything."

Peyton smiled and looked from Haley to Lucas."Okay well, I'm smashed! I'm going to bed." she declared. She looked at Haley "Do you need anything before I go?" Haley shook her head.

"No, I think loaning a crazed and irrational friend your most prized possession is the only torture I'm going to put you through tonight" she said.

Peyton smiled slightly and looked at Lucas, feeling unsure and he smiled back.

"I'll stay with her tonight" he said. At Peyton's reassured gaze, Haley rolled her eyes.

"Come on guys! I'm not an ex-con! I'm not going to runaway in the middle of the night!" Lucas and Peyton exchanged glances. Haley's eyes widened "I won't!".

Peyton grinned and walked towards the door. "Well here's hoping!" She said crossing her fingers. She laughed as she left the room closing the door behind her. Haley looked at Lucas and her smile faded slowly as they stared at each other. They were silent for a long moment.

"I'm sorry," she finally said looking into his eyes."about what I said earlier. I didn't mean it. You _are_ my friend. You will always be my very best."

Lucas smiled softly. "I know. " he finally said "And you will always be mine."

She smiled as her eyes filled again and she opened her arms. Lucas reached down and held her tightly.

Haley sighed into his shoulder. "I just wish everything was simple again" she whispered. "Like when it was only you and me. I wish it wasn't so hard."

Lucas slid beside her and they stared at each other. "I know what you mean." he said. "Things used to be so much easier...before we hit puberty and became so gorgeous."

Haley smiled and hit him in the arm, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. He saw this and he turned to face her until their foreheads were touching.

"Let's make a promise right now" he whispered.

Laya raised an eyebrow at him. "What kind of a promise?" she asked.

"Let's make a promise that no matter what, we'll always be in each other's lives. Through thick and thin."He smiled at the at the corniness. "Through sun or rain."

Haley grinned. "I like that." she said. She held up her pinky. "Through thick and thin Lucas, through sun or rain, no matter what, I will always be in your life."

Lucas grinned. "And I in yours." he said reaching for her pinky. He kissed it and she kissed his in turn. Then she kissed his forehead.

"I really don't know what I'd do without you..." she whispered. She linked her fingers through his, a gesture that touched Lucas with it's sweetness. She smiled and closed her eyes and Lucas stared at her, a strange feeling working it's way inside his chest. He tucked a wisp of Haley's hair behind her ear, and stared at her long after her breathing had slowed down and she was asleep. Then he drew closer to her and fell asleep himself.


	6. Only Beauty Remains

Only Beauty Remains

Lucas woke with a start. He wasn't sure what had woken him, but his heart was beating fast. He looked around the room as dark blue light filtered in through the blinds. He glanced at the clock on the side table and saw that it was 4:00 o'clock in the morning and he lay back down with a groan hoping that he'd fall back to sleep. Suddenly, Haley cried out in her sleep, showing him the cause of his alertness. Haley shifted uncomfortably beside him, her mouth twisted into a silent cry.

"Please!" she whimpered "Please don't--"

Lucas frowned and gently tried to shake her awake. "Hales." he whispered

"Please!" she cried out "Nathan please!

Lucas sat up and gently shook her. "Haley, wake up. It's just a dream sweetie..."

Haley tossed her head in her sleep. She was crying as her head twisted from side to side. "Nathan, no!" She sobbed. "I'm sorry,so sorry--"

Lucas had quit trying to be gentle. He shook her, quickly. "Haley, you're dreaming. Come on, wake up!"

Haley's eyes shot open and she stared straight ahead in confusion. Then she looked at Lucas who sat staring at her with concern.

"Hales," he whispered worriedly "are you okay? That looked like some kind of nightmare."

Haley stared at Lucas for a long moment. "It was." she said softly.Then she covered her face with her hands and sobbed brokenly. Lucas stared at her, stunned.

"Haley," he whispered putting his arms around her. "Haley, what's wrong?"

Haley shook her head. "I was dreaming about Nathan," she sobbed " He was trying to throw me away--in the trash. I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen." She looked at Lucas in desperation. "He said I was nothing, Lucas! He said that I was trash and that he hated me. He hated me.." Haley's voice faded into sobs as Lucas held her close. His eyes were filled with pain and helplessness, because...he didn't know what to do. For the first time in his life, he didn't know how to make his best-friend feel better.

"It's going to be okay Hales." he whispered into her hair. "It's going to be alright. I know it will". Haley raised her tear-streaked face and looked at him beseechingly.

"When, Luke?" she whispered, her eyes wide with pain. "When will this ache--this deep, dark hole in my chest---when will it go away!"

She shook her head in desperation "I can't take it anymore Lucas. I can't!"

Lucas took her head in his hands and kissed her cheek. "It'll get better Hales," he said confidently " It has too. It doesn't feel like that now--I know it doesn't--but you won't always feel like this. You won't. I promise!" He stared into her eyes willing her to believe him and she looked into his eyes desperately hoping he was right.

"I just don't want to feel so bad, Luke." she said staring into his eyes, searching their depths for the answer. "I don't want to feel so bad anymore."

Her eyes travelled all over his face...and his eyes were so blue...so blue...just like Nathan...and suddenly...she was kissing him. With all the pain and the passion and the fear that she felt at that moment, she was kissing Lucas...and he wasn't pulling away.

His arms tightened around her as she pressed her body closer to his.

"Haley..." he whispered against her mouth. "Haley we can't..." he was saying. But she was pulling his shirt up over his head, and his hands were tangled in her head.

"I need you, Lucas." she whispered heatedly against his mouth. "I need you now...I need this..."

Lucas breath quickened as his mind and his body gave in to the heated kisses Haley trailed down his neck. This was crazy. This was crazy and so wrong. But at that moment, he didn't care. He didn't want to be anywhere but right there with Haley. His Haley.

He slid his hands down her arms before slowly sliding his hands up her soft stomach until his fingers grazed the bottom of her bra. She moaned into his mouth and lifted her arms so that he could pull the shirt over her head. "I want you." she whispered "I want you Lucas."

Lucas felt like he was on fire as she kissed his chest while her hands gripped his back tightly. He slid his hands around her back and unfastened her bra as she slid his zipper down and tugged at his jeans. Things were spinning out of control so fast. But he couldn't make himself stop. He didn't want to.

His hands slid over her body as his jeans and her shorts both quickly found their way onto the floor. Her skin felt unbelievably soft and as he kissed the space between her breasts, she moaned against his temple. Her feet were wrapped around his waist and her nails gripped his back as he kissed her navel, and her side and her fingers. He wanted to touch and kiss every part of her all at once, and his desire overwhelmed him as his hands slid over her hips and down her legs. "Haley.." he moaned feverishly.

Her breath was hot in his ear as she whispered his name. "Lucas," she said softly " I want you inside me. Please..."

She held him closer as he slowly slid up to her until their foreheads were touching and their eyes were locked. For a moment, the insanity of what they were doing broke through the fog of their passion and he paused as she looked up at him, her beautiful eyes shining into his own. "Haley.." he whispered. She stared at him. " I want you Luke." she whispered "I need you." She wrapped her arms around him and stared deeply into his eyes as she kissed him softly. She closed her eyes and wrapped her legs tighter around him as he slowly made them one. She moaned and moved with him as tears trailed down her face. They moved slowly together, and at first it felt like it was only them in the whole world. As if no one existed and no time existed before them. Before that moment. And then they were moving faster and she felt a happiness so light, so pure, that all of her pain seemed to melt away... until it was only them, and their quickened breathes, and their heated whispers. They moved together faster and faster, no other thought in their minds but each other and that moment...until they couldn't move anymore.

They lay there breathing, her legs wrapped around him, their bodies entwined. He lifted his head and looked at her, a soft smile on his face and she brushed the damp hair from his forehead. They were still wrapped up in one another, but neither of them wanted to let go. Neither of them wanted to speak at all. So they didn't. Lucas kissed her shoulder and she slid her arms around his waist and held him tightly, her face in his neck. They stayed that way for a long time.

Until they heard the chirping of birds outside their window signaling the rapidly approaching dawn. Only then did Lucas get up and go into the bathroom. They didn't say a word to one another. Not because they felt ackward or ashamed of what they'd done. They didn't speak because there was no ackwardness at all. And no regret or even shame. Only confusion...and beauty. A beauty that neither of them wanted to understand. Even if they could...


	7. It Should Feel Bad

**Thank you for your awesome review, Julie Prud'homme! This one's for you:)**

* * *

It Should Feel Bad

"So then, he was like _I have to stay an extra week _and I was all _but Dad I've been receiving weird e-mails I'm freaked out,_ and he's all _it's probably some friend pulling a prank on you _and I said _it's not, it's some weirdo _and he said _I'll be home soon just stay at Lucas's_ and I'm all like_ dad I can't keep on imposing and--"_

"Peyton," Lucas interrupted "you're not imposing. You can stay here as long as you want to."

Peyton frowned. "I know but that's not the point Luke. My dad was entirely too okay with the fact that some stalker is playing with my mind! I mean shouldn't he have been on the first flight here as soon as I told him about the e-mails?"

When Lucas didn't answer, she looked up at him. He, Peyton, and Haley were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast but she suddenly realised that until Lucas's brief interjection, she had been the only one talking. She looked up in time to see Lucas watching Haley strangely and she stared at her quiet friend. Haley had barely said two words since they had sat down and Peyton remembered the tough evening that she'd had the day before. She mentally berated herself as she watched Haley slowly put a spoon of fruit loops in her mouth.

"Tough night?" Peyton said sympathetically. Haley choked on the food in her throat and Peyton stared bewildered as Lucas patted Haley on the back until she was breathing more easily. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Haley smiled. "Yeah it just went down the wrong pipe, that's all." She took a deep breath and glanced at Lucas who was grinning widely. "No, I didn't have a tough night, Peyton. I felt alot better once I got some sleep."

"Yeah me too." Lucas agreed. Haley shot him a look and he smiled back at her...an exchange that both mystified and confused Peyton. She frowned.

"Anyways, Luke, if you don't mind me staying for an extra week or so, that would great."

"Of course, Peyt." Lucas said his eyes on Haley as she rose to place her half-full bowl in the sink. "Whatever you need."

Peyton smiled and finished the last of her cereal before glancing at her watch. "Okay, I have to go by TRIC real quick" she grinned "Oooh, I rhymed!" She stood and slipped on her sneakers.

Lucas looked at her. "What's up at TRIC?" he asked curiously.

Peyton shrugged. "Nothing bad, your mom just asked me to go by there and pick up the mail, listen to messages, make sure the stock is looking good for the Grand RE-Opening party in a couple of weeks...you know the basics. I'll catch you guys later."

She turned to leave and Haley's eyes widened in panic as she realised that she was going to be alone with Lucas. "Hey, I'll go with you." she said

Peyton smiled. "Thanks Haley, that would be great." she said.

Lucas quickly looked at Haley. "Actually Hales I thought we could talk."

Peyton looked from Haley's panicked expression to Lucas intense stare and she realised that what Lucas had to say, Haley probably needed to hear. She made a quick decision.

"Actually Haley, it's all pretty basic stuff. You'd just be bored, okay? See ya. Bye." she winked at Lucas before beating a hasty retreat and Lucas winked back. Then she was gone, leaving Lucas and Haley in a very quiet kitchen.

Lucas stared down into his coffee. "So are we going to talk about last night at all? Or are we going to ignore it completely?" he said quietly.

Haley closed her eyes briefly. She looked down at the porcelain counter under her hand. "Can't we just leave it Luke? Couldn't we just let it be what it was?" She didn't look at him and Lucas walked over and stood in front of her. He put an arm around either side of her, trapping her in his arms as they stared at one another.

"What was it Haley? What exactly was last night?"

Haley finally looked at him. Her eyes softened as she stared into the beautiful blue one's that were locked on her own.

"Last night was...beautiful." she whispered. "It was...two old friends comforting each other in a way only they could." She smiled softly. "Last night was perfect, Lucas. And I don't want to overanalyze it, or run it into the ground. I just want it to be... what it was." she looked up at him. "Can we just let it be?" she pleaded.

Lucas stared at her wordlessly. "We could. " he said finally...softly. He moved closer to her. "We probably could just let it be what it was and move on." He touched her cheek and felt her breath quicken against his thumb as he slid it across her bottom lip. "Yeah, we could let it go. Except I can't stop thinking about how incredibly soft your skin is..." His fingers trailed down her arm and he felt her tremble under his touch. "Or how much your hair smells like watermelons in the summer..."

He leaned in close and softly kissed her hair, smelling it's fragrance. "No," he said moving closer to her until they could feel the warmth of each other's bodies. " I can't seem to forget how it feels to make love to you Haley." He stared down into her eyes as their fingers slowly interlaced with one another's, and Haley bit her lip as she looked at his mouth.

"Lucas, we can't.." she whispered. Lucas's eyes smoldered as he moved closer. "We can't what?" he asked.

"We can't...we can't do this..."

All other thoughts Haley may have had diappeared as she pulled Lucas's head to hers in a long passionate kiss. She felt his tongue slide into her mouth and she groaned as it grazed her teeth. His hands were sliding into her shirt and she pressed against him as he touched her intimately. She felt weak and she fell against him as her bra was unfastened and tossed to the floor. "Lucas.." she moaned as he picked her up and set her on the counter. She felt his hands up her skirt pulling down her panties and she pressed him against her. Her hands were in his shirt and on his back and then they were in his jeans... and she was feeling his desire for her and she was touching him as if she had always touched him. Like she knew his body better than her own. She pushed his jeans and his boxerbriefs down with her feet and gripped him as he pressed into her...and they were one again. The way she wanted them to be.

He paused for a moment and looked into her eyes. "Why does this feel so perfect?" he whispered brushing her hair from her eyes. "Why does this feel so right?"

She stared wordlessly into his eyes and brown locked with blue as he slowly began to move with her. They never looked away, and Haley felt an overwhelming surge of emotion as she gripped his back and moved with him. They were pressed together so tightly that they could feel each other's heartbeat, and once again that feeling of completeness suddenly washed over Haley. She saw it reflected in Lucas eyes and the sight of it caused her own to shine with tears.

"Haley..."Lucas whispered...and then they were moving faster and rising together into a dense heated rhythm that melted away...until it was only them again...standing in the kitchen...where they had just made love.

Haley's head fell to his shoulder as she tried to catch her breath. "What are we doing Lucas?" she said as her breathing slowed. "What the hell are we doing?" She looked into Lucas eyes as he stared back at her. She could see the confusion in his eyes as well. The wonder of how something so wrong, so crazy and potentially hurtful to them both...could still feel so right?

Lucas tilted his head and smiled at her. "What are we doing?" he asked. Haley nodded slowly.

Lucas's grin widened. "We're...taking a shower!" He lifted Haley from the counter much to her dumbfounded surprise and carried her to her shower. She laughed as he set her down and bowed gallantly before quickly taking off his clothes, and after a moment's hesitation, she did too. She giggled as Lucas started the shower, yelped when he realised how cold it was and adjusted the temperature. Then he climbed in and held out his hand for Haley. She climbed in after him and smiled softly as he gathered her in his arms under the warm spray. She lay in his arms as the water beat down on them for a long moment. The thoughts tried to come, but she wouldn't--she couldn't think of the ramifications that what they'd done would have on their relationship with one another. Or what it meant to their broken relationships with Nathan and Brooke.She only allowed herself to be in the moment. To relish in the feel of Lucas's arms around her and the beating of his heart underneath her ears. She wouldn't define what was going on, just yet. She would just feel.

Lucas reached for the shampoo and squirted some of it onto Haley's head and she shrieked as the cold gel hit her.

"Lucas!That is not how you wash someone's hair!" She giggled "You put the shampoo in your hands, rub it around and massage it into their head. Like so." She demonstrated how to do it and reached up to massage the scented liquid in to Lucas hair and he grinned down at her. "What?" she smiled when she saw his grin.

Lucas chuckled."I was remembering that time when you tried to dye my hair brown, remember that?"

Haley giggled. "How could I forget? " she laughed "Your hair turned bright orange instead!" she smiled at the memory. "You wouldn't talk to me for a whole week."

Lucas furrowed his brow. "Well of course not, I was pissed!" he chuckled "I was called Ronald Mcdonald for a year."

Haley smiled and turned him around to face the spray. "You were such a big baby!" she giggled as she ran her hands through his hair to get the shampoo out." I remember that I had to come crying to you to forgive me before you'd even talk to me."

Lucas grinned and put his arms around her waist."Well who could resist those big chocolate eyes full of tears?" he said.

Haley tried to hide a smile."You do know that I was faking right?" she asked slowly.

Lucas frowned. "You weren't faking." he said with certainty "Those tears were real,baby" He chuckled and Haley's grin widened.

"Lucas, come on, I was thirteen! I could turn on the waterworks at the drop of a hat." She giggled "I knew that the only way for me to get you talking would be to make you feel bad and voila! It worked!" She laughed and started to wash the shmapoo out of her hair as Lucas expression changed from one of disbelief to growing awareness and then to shock. She looked at him and laughed at his expression before slowly running her hands up his smooth chest.

"Aww, poor baby, "she murmured. "Mean Haley tricked you, didn't she?" She kissed his neck slowly. "I bet Nice Haley could make up for it," she whispered in his ear. Lucas tried to hide his happy grin but she saw it and laughed again. She stopped and looked at him.

"You are so beautiful". she said wonderingly. "I've always known that but...it's like I'm seeing through different eyes..." She stared at him. "Does that make any sense at all?" she asked.

Lucas's smile softened as he pushed a wet lock of hair from her cheek. "Nothing makes sense right now, Haley." he said quietly. "Except you here, in my arms."

They stared at one another for a long time and then Lucas lowered his head and pulled her in for a kiss. Haley's heart pounded strangely as their lips touched softly. She drew close to him as his hands slid pass her hips--- when the bathroom door suddenly swung open.

"Haley, did you---" Peyton began. She froze when she saw them. "Oh my god--sorry, I'm I-mean----Oh God."

Peyton stared at them in shock for a moment before quickly closing the bathroom door. They heard her run out of the room and soon after the motor of her car as she drove away. As they stared at each other stunned, Lucas couldn't help but wish that they had heard the car just as clearly...when it had driven up.


	8. Oh, What Tangled Webs

**Thank you all for your reviews! Keep 'em coming, they keep me motivated:) Hope you enjoy this chapter...**

Oh, What Tangled Webs...

Lucas and Haley lay on his bed staring into each other's eyes. Haley's gaze was tinged with worry and he smiled slightly and ran his thumb across her cheek. "Haley, you're worrying again..."

Haley frowned. "Lucas, how can I not worry? Peyton's been gone for hours! And she hasn't called---she won't even pick up her cell! " She stared at him, first in exasperation and then curiosity. "How come you're not worried?"

Lucas's smile widened. " Because you're lying here with me." he said seductively. "And because your skin smells like watermelon..." he leaned forward and kissed her neck and she felt herself begin to melt...but then she pushed him away." Lucas! This is serious!" she said

He sighed "Haley, Peyton's going to be alright. She's probably just off somewhere trying to make sense of what she saw--"

"But Lucas, where could she be?" Haley asked. "We went to her house, we went by TRIC...we even went by the basketball courts and she wasn't there! I just--" Haley closed her eyes and took a deep breath. " I just want to explain things to her. Her mind must be going a million miles a minute right now. I just--I don't want her to hate us."

Lucas looked at her, his eyes filled with dawning understanding. He put his arms around her and held her closely. "It'll be okay Hales." he said softly. "Peyton will be back when she's ready. We just have to give her some time."

Haley stared up into his eyes for a long moment. Then she nodded and buried her face in his neck. " You're right." she whispered."I guess I'm just freaking out." She snuggled closer to him and slid her legs between his. "I don't even know how we're even going to begin to explain what this is...what's going on between us..."

Lucas felt her heart beating against his. He rested his chin on her head and started to softly caress her back."We'll just tell her that...we didn't plan this," he said slowly. "that it just happened and we didn't expect it..."

Haley nodded into his neck. "And we'll tell her that we don't want to hurt anyone...and that this is..." she paused "...that this is just a...just a summer thing."

She felt Lucas fingers pause against her back. He pulled away from her slightly and looked into her eyes. "Just a ...summer thing." he repeated.

Haley searched his eyes. She didn't know what she was looking for but for the first time in her life,she couldn't tell what he was thinking...or feeling.

"Yes.."she finally said "We both need each other...and we both want each other...right now..."

Lucas stared into her eyes, his face completely void of emotion. She thought she saw something there, something she couldn't quite fathom--but then it disappeared and she was staring at the Lucas she'd always known. Her best-friend. Her...her lover. She felt her heart twist inside her chest. She looked into his eyes. "Lucas..?" she said softly.

Lucas eyes bore into her. " You're right." he finally said. He smiled slightly. "This is just a summer thing. A moment in time. Peyton will understand that. She will."

Haley frowned. She felt...strange. For a second there, she'd thought...She shook herself from her thoughts and lay her forehead against Lucas's chest. It didn't matter what she thought. His arms were around her.That was all that mattered. "Yes, a moment in time.. " she whispered. "Peyton _will_ understand. She'll see that we need this." She felt Lucas gently kiss her forehead and she turned her face up to him and kissed his chin, and then his cheek. Despite what they were doing, despite what it _was_...she had never felt so close to someone else before. Even when she'd been with Nathan, there had been times when he'd seemed so closed off from her, so remote. But with Lucas... she'd never felt so much desire and need for someone as she did when she was with him. When he was touching her...

Her heart started beating quickly as his arms tightened around her. He slowly pulled her on top of him and their lips found each other--and suddenly they were kissing... sopassionately and his hands were in her hair tugging at them in a way that mirrored the desperation that Haley suddenly felt.

"Haley," Lucas whispered " I want you. I've never wanted anyone the way that I want you..."

Haley kissed his forehead...and the corner of his mouth...and his temple. She wanted contact with every part of him."I feel the same, Luke..." she whispered. "I want you too." Her legs tightened around him and he sat up holding her tightly to him as she pulled at the belt around his waist. His hand were under her halter top and he was touchng her so gently depite the heat between them. Haley felt like she was about to lose control. Her hands found their way into his jeans and she was gripping him from behind and pressing him even closer to her. Lucas moaned into her mouth and she lifted, her mouth never leaving his as he started to pull her jeans down...

So they didin't hear the door open.

But they heard the cleared throat...and they felt the accusing eyes.

Lucas and Haley broke apart and stared at each other their breathing quick and heated, before turning tolook at the girl standing there.

Peyton watched them, her eyes narrowed and incredulous as they slowly let each other go.

"Peyton--" Haley began, her cheeks still flushed with the heat that Lucas had ignited in her, but Peyton held up her hand, cutting her off.

"I didn't mean to interrupt this continuing spiral into dysfunction. " she said coolly."I just wanted to let you guys know that I'll be out of here as soon as I'm packed."

She disappeared and Lucas and Haley stared at each other stunned before hurrying after her.They walked into her room just as she pulled her suitcase out and started to quickly throw her clothes inside.

"Peyton. " Lucas said gently. Peyton ignored him and walked over to her dresser. She grabbed the picture of her, Jake and Jenny and lay it in her suitcase.  
"Peyton!" Haley cried. "will you stop for a second and listen? Please---"

Peyton finally stopped "Listen to what?" she cried "Listen to you two explain away why you are making the biggest mistake of your lives!I don't think so!" She finished throwing her clothes in her suitcase and was attempting to close it, when Haley grabbed it from her. "Give me my suitcase ,Haley." Peyton said.

"No!" Haley shouted "I need you to stop for a second and listen, okay? What you saw--what you think you saw between Lucas and I--it wasn't what you think."

Peyton tilted her head. "Oh really? So I didn't see you and Lucas kissing each other in the shower in all your naked splendor earlier today? And I didn't just interrupt you guys in the process of having sex? Wow! I really have to get my eyes checked! Evidently what I see is NOT what I get!" She tried to grab her suitcase, but Haley pulled it away.

"Peyton," Haley said trying to sound calm, "What you saw was...was two friends trying to comfort each other--"

Peyton's eyes widened incredulously. "With your body parts, Haley! Give me a break! What I saw was two of my best-friends making two horrible situations even worse! "

Lucas ran a hand through his hair. "Peyton, it's not like that." he said quietly. Peyton turned to stare at him.

"No, Luke!" she interrupted shaking her head "Don't even try to deny it!" She looked at him. "You know, I can't believe you! You were there two years ago when we broke Brooke's heart. She could barely look at me for months after she found out about us, months! And we weren't even sleeping together!" She looked at Haley who was shaking her head slowly and her voice softened. "And Haley," she said " this is going to destroy Nathan. Destroy him! Look at what going away with Chris did--"

"I didn't go away with Chris, Peyton--"

Peyton was shaking her head "But look what happened, Haley!" she said gently. She looked at Lucas. "And Nate is just barely starting to talk to you again Luke, just barely." She said "What do you think is going to happen when he finds out about this? "She stared at them both, her eyes wide and sincere.

Haley slowly put Peyton's suitcase down. She stared at the floor for a long, silent moment before looking at her friend. "What does it matter what Nathan thinks Peyton?" she said "I'm not married to him anymore, he made sure of that. And Brooke--Brooke left Lucas! Twice! They don't care about us and they won't care about me and Lucas...being together like this." She looked into Lucas's eyes. "There isn't really even a 'me and Lucas' to care about."

Lucas looked at her and they stared at each other silently.

Peyton looked from one of them to the other in silent confusion. "I don't understand--"

"Haley and I aren't together." Lucas explained shortly. His voice was soft but...there was something in his tone. Something...Haley stared at him, her eyes searching, but his eyes were still and unyielding. "This is just..." he paused and finally looked at Peyton. "This is just something we need right now, Peyton." His voice was unapologetic as he continued. "We didn't plan it, okay? But it...it happened. And right now, this is what we want."

Haley looked at him, her confusion slowly fading away. She walked to his side and took his hand in both of hers and he looked down at her, an unreadable expression on his face. But then he squeezed her hands gently and smiled at her.

Peyton stared at them in bewilderment. "I don't understand. When did this all even start?"

"Last night." Haley said slowly. She could see the reproach in Peyon's eyes and she couldn't stand it. "Why are you so angry at us?" she asked. "We're not hurting anyone, Peyton. "

"You're hurting yourselves!" Peyton cried "Do you really think that either one of you will leave this--this thing unscathed! This friends with benefits thing never works out."

Lucas frowned. "That is not what this is, Peyton. I love..." his throat closed up. "I love Haley--"

"But you're not _in_ love with her!" Peyton cried "Sex without love is meaningless, you both know that! This will only lead to more pain, can't you see that? Do you guys really think that you can lose yourselves in each other without losing yourselves completely! Losing your relationship?"

"Peyton, that's not what we're doing." Haley whispered.

Peyton closed her eyes "Then what are you doing Haley-- do _you_ even know?And why _are_ you doing this? You guys areruining one of the best relationships that I've ever known! Don't you see how lucky you are to have what you two have? No one else that I know has it. No one! Is sex really worth destroying it? Is it!"

Haley closed her eyes for a moment. She felt Lucas's grip on her hands tighten and she looked at her friend. "Peyton," she said quietly " I love you. I really do." Her eyes were wide and sincere in her face." But this is not your decision. This is what Lucas and I want and we don't need your permission. We just want your acceptance. Can you accept this?"

Peyton bit her lip. She looked from Lucas to Haley and then back again. She couldn't believe that this was happening. She felt like she was living in an alternate universe where everything was fragile and anything could destroy itunless it was protected and preserved.Their summer had started with so much heartbtreak and sadness, but it had looked like it was on it's way to becoming something better...something great. The pain and hurt that they'd all felt had developed into a close bond, a bond that she'd hoped might heal them all. But instead...things were horrible, and confused and headed towards disaster. Why couldn't they see the mess that this was destined to become! She sighed inwardly. It was going to get worse. _So_ much worse. But when their worlds opened up and swallowed them whole, they would need someone. And she had a sinking feeling that she might be the only friend around.

She slowly shook her head. "I don't understand this," she said slowly. " and I don't accept it." She looked at Lucas and Haley. "But I love you guys. And if this is what you want...well, I won't stand in your way."

Lucas smiled slowly, hesitantly. "And you won't move out?" he asked.

Peyton sighed and shook her head. "No, although Spooky Stalker is looking more and more favorable."

Haley's face was serious as she voiced her next thoughts hesitantly. " And... you won't... tell Brooke?" she asked.

Peyton frowned "I won't lie, Haley." she said firmly. "If Brooke asks--"

"I know," Haley nodded "and I would never ask you to lie." She looked at her. "But unless she asks, you won't tell her?"

Peyton looked at her wordlessly. She knew this was going to come back to haunt her but Haley had kept a huge secret for her once before...

"I won't tell Brooke anything." she said quietly. "I promise.

"You won't tell Brooke, what?"

All three friends froze at the unexpected voice. They turned and stared at the tiny brunette standing behind them.

Brooke grinned and dropped her suitcases beside her. "Surprise!" she shouted excitedly. "You guys got room for one more?" She walked over to Lucas and smiled up at him before throwing her arms around his neck. She didn't notice that the silence in the room was so thick that you could cut it with a chain-saw. She didn't notice Lucas and Haley drop each other's hands like they were hot coals. She didn't even notice Peyton's dumbstruck stare or Haley's ashen face. She didn't notice anyting at all, except how good Lucas smelled...

Like watermelon...


	9. We Weave

**Thank you CCScott23, Henka, and Prue41 for your reviews! This chapter would truly not have been possible without you!**

...We Weave

"So...you won't tell Brooke, what?" Brooke repeated curiously.

She looked at Peyton but Peyton stood immobile, staring back at her like a mime on crack. Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly and Brooke's smile wilted somewhat. She turned to look at Lucas and Haley who both seemed oddly statuesque as well, and frowned.

"Guys?" she inquired. "You are all acting really strange...or more so than usual anyway. What can't Peyton tell me?"

Haley blinked. She looked at Peyton who turned to stare at her expectantly and tried to conjure up a smile as she slowly turned to Brooke who waited impatiently.

"Well Brooke," she said slowly. "She can't tell you...about the-- the crazy sale at MIA, because we both knew that you would fly back here and buy the store out if you heard about it and we want some for ourselves! But, here you are anyways! No clothes for us, Peyt!" She smiled weakly and Brooke's frown melted into a grin.

"You smart girl, you!" she said reaching forward to hug the slender red-head."You know me so well! But hey, I'll leave y'all a couple of tops...or something!" She laughed and leaned back to survey Haley and her smile grew sympathetic. "So, how are _you_ doing?" she asked "With this whole Nathan situation? Are you okay? Peyton told me about what he did to you, that ass..."

Haley glanced at Lucas before looking back a Brooke. "I'm getting through it...you know, dealing." she said softly.

Brooke smiled. "Oh yeah? How?"

Peyton suddenly remembered that she had a tongue."Brooke, I'm so happy to see you! What are you doing here?" she asked quickly, hugging her friend."I thought you were staying in California for the whole summer. And when I talked to you last week, you didn't mention anything--"

"Well, I suddenly realised that...that I needed to be here." Brooke said slowly. She looked at Lucas and smiled hesitantly. "Actually, if you girls don't mind catching up later, I need to steal Lucas for a while. We really have to talk."

Lucas, who had been standing wordlessly watching the girls, looked at Brooke. His expression was unreadable as she walked up to him and rested her hands on his chest.

"I know that you probably have a million questions to ask me," she said meaningfully "and I'm finally ready to answer them." She looked up into his eyes "Can we talk now, Lucas? Privately?"

Lucas nodded slowly. "Yeah, let's do that." He finally said. He turned and Brooke followed him to his bedroom as Haley and Peyton watched them. When they reached his room, Brooke walked pass him and as he turned to close the door, his eyes locked with Haley's for a brief moment. She searched them for some sign, some hint of the emotion he was feeling...but she saw none. And then he closed his door and Haley and Peyton were alone. Peyton watched Haley silently stare at the bedroom door for a long moment. Her heart went out to her friend as she saw a wide range of emotions play across Haley's face before it settled into an expressionless mask. They stood there quietly.

"Are you okay?" Peyton finally whispered.

Haley turned and smiled at her. "Yeah." She said matter-of-factly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Haley--"

"I'm going for a walk." She said abruptly "I'll be back in an hour or two, okay?"

Peyton frowned ."By yourself?" she asked. "Are you sure you want to be alone right now, Haley?"

Haley smiled and nodded. "Yes Peyt, I'm sure." She said obligingly as she looked at her friend. "Don't worry, I'm okay...Okay?" She chuckled and squeezed her friends arm before going into her room to grab a pair of sneakers. She smiled again as she winked at Peyton before walking out of the front door and down the front steps. She continued smiling as she walked down the sidewalk and jogged across the street at the intersection. She smiled and smiled and smiled some more...but inside, she was screaming...

* * *

Brooke looked around the room that she had grown to know so well. She ran her hand over the bureau and touched the desk before sliding her fingers over the bedspread. Lucas watched her, his eyes settling on the bed where he and Haley had been holding one another only minutes ago and his eyes flickered to his door. He couldn't even begin to guess how she was feeling right now and it took all his will power not to throw open the door and run to her and take her in his arms...but somehow he managed not to move. All he could do was picture the look she'd had in her eyes just before he'd closed the door, and his heart twistedinside his chest. Despite Haley's adament declarations, he knew in his heart that what had happened between them wasn't just a summer thing. It wasn't some fluke, or some mistake that they'd happen to make. It went far deeper than that--deeper than anything he had ever felt before. It was intense, and messy, and potentially lifechanging, but whatever it was--it wasn't small and insignificant like Haley seemed to want it to be. It wasn't just a summer thing, it was so much more...

Now, if he only knew _what_ it was...

Brooke finally turned around and looked at him. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then she smiled shakily.

"I rehearsed this so much on the plane, you'd think it would come easier already..." she murmured.

Lucas frowned. He wasn't sure what Brooke was about to say, but whatever it was, he was sure that it would make his already rapidly-expanding confusion even more confused and he knew that he couldn't handle anymore revelations at that moment...but he didn't know what to say to stop her. And she was speaking...

"...were right, Lucas "she was saying. "You were _right_. After we spoke yesterday, I realised that I _had_ been running away. I had been running from you." She looked at him and his heart turned at the sight of the unshed tears in her eyes. "Two years ago, I gave my heart to you, Lucas." She whispered brokenly. "And...it wasn't something that I'd ever done before. In fact, it was completely new." She smiled and her dimples appeared in her cheeks for a moment as she remembered. "I'd given my body away...well, manytimes before but you...you were the first guy I took a chance on. The first guy I opened up to. The first..." She paused and looked into his eyes. " The first one I loved."

Lucas closed his eyes. "Brooke--"

"No, Luke." she said "I have to say this."

Lucas shoved his hands deeply inside his pockets and Brooke continued. "I was so in love with you Lucas," she whispered "and I thought that you felt the same way. For the first time ever, I thought that maybe fairytales could come true,you know? Maybe the prince and the princess _could_ fall in love and live happily ever after."

Lucas eyes were pained as he stared at her. "And then I broke your heart?" he said softly.

"And then you broke my world." Brooke whispered.

Lucas stared at her. "And I'm so sorry, Brooke." He said sincerely. "I'm sorry that I hurt you so much. Both Peyton and I regret what happened, what we did--"

"I know Luke." Brooke said. "I know and I'm not trying to bring up the past to hurt you. I forgave you and Peyton a long time ago for that. I really did." She looked at him and her eyes were filled with tears. "But I never forgot, even when I started to feel something for you and I thought you might feel something for me, I never forgot. And when I found that box in here filled with mementos of her, mementos of that time, I thought that maybe what I used to think was right. Princes didn't exist. They were all frogs and no matter how many the princess kissed, even if they were handsome, they would all stay ugly inside."

Lucas closed his eyes, hating the role that he had played in making Brooke stop believing in love. He had hurt her in a way that he never wanted to hurt anyone again. He looked at her. He had to tell her. He had to tell her how he felt now. What he was only recently discovering. He had to tell her the truth---right away this time. But she was still talking...

"When I came back for your father's funeral, Luke, I had every intention of making sure you knew we were friends--and only friends. That's why I stayed with Peyton." She looked at him. " ..and that's why I didn't tell you that I was coming into town until you saw me. But then _I_ saw _you_. And you were _so_ sad. And you were hurting more than I'd ever seen you hurt...and I just wanted to make your pain stop. I wanted you to be happy." The tears spilled over her cheeks and Lucas wiped them away as they fell.

"Brooke--" he said.

"And then we made love. And I felt so close to you, like you had finally opened up and let me see _all_ of you. The you that you only let a few people see." She stared into his eyes and Lucas suddenly saw it there. The emotion that he'd longed to see for so long.The emotion that he couldn't allow himself to see now.The love...Oh, _God_ the love. Brooke _loved_ him!

"That's when I knew that I loved you Lucas. That I was _in_ love with you--"

"Brooke, I have to--"

But she was talking so quickly, like the words would disappear if she didn't say them. "And I was scared. And that's why I ran back to California. I didn't want to face you and these new feelings. I didn't want to face the truth."

Lucas shook his head. He couldn't hear this, right now. He shouldn't be allowed to see the emotion that was shining from her eyes with so much honesty and hope-- hope, he couldn't give her. Brooke took his hand in hers and wove their fingers together. She looked deeply into his eyes and smiled.

"I'm ready now, Luke." she said urgently. "I'm ready to stop running away and give you my heart again. I'm ready to start a relationship with you, and I want all the good and the bad parts that make it real." She grinned and her hazel-green eyes were locked so intensely on his that he couldn't look away. "I want to be with you Luke. I want to be with you now. No more running, no more excuses...Just you and me, together. If you'll have me."

Lucas stared down at her. His emotions were a jumbled mess inside of him and he couldn't decipher one from the other. The only thing that he knew for sure was that his feelings for Brooke, though somewhat inexplicable, were not the same as hers. As he looked into her eyes, he knew that he couldn't shatter the hope that was shining so brightly there. He knew that he couldn't break Brooke Davis's heart again.

But, more importantly, he knew that he could not lie to her. He could not lie to himself.

He exhaled slowly. "Brooke," he said slowly. "I do care about you. I care about you alot. I-- I love you. But--"

He was interrupted as Brooke's lips crashed into his. She kissed him with so much emotion, that for a moment his thoughts were frozen in his mind, refusing to come out of his mouth. But just as they came loose and began to filter through to his lips, Brooke let him go and grinned up at him happily.

"Wh--what..?" he managed to gasp. "I don't understand---"

Brooke chuckled happily. "I love you too." she said huskily. And then she kissed him again...and Lucas realised that his world had become a chaotic,virtually unrecognizable, completely certifiable mess...

Again.


	10. When We Practice

When We Practice...

Haley stared up at the basketball hoop several feet away from her.

She'd been walking for close to forty-five minutes when she'd realized where she was: The basketball courts where Lucas had grown up playing his favorite game. It seemed like she always ended up there lately. She had sat down on the picnic table and looked up at the basketball hoop, and she'd stared at it. She'd been staring at it now for twenty minutes...straight.

Haley felt very...strange. There was a heaviness in her chest that she knew hadn't been brought on by her long walk and her throat felt full and sore everytime she swallowed. Her eyes were tight in her face and her stomach was doing routine flips in her abdomen. And then there was the nausea...

Yeah, Haley felt sick.

But she refused to acknowledge why and what the cause of her sudden flu-like symptoms might be. She refused to analyze what was going on inside her heart. But even as her mind was attempting to block him out, Lucas was in her thoughts, smiling at her in that special way that he reserved for her...and touching her, and kissing her neck in that way that he knew made her melt. In Haley's thoughts, he was holding her so closely, as if he didn't want to let her go, as if he treasured her above anyone else...Too bad it wasn't really true.

Haley felt her eyes fill and she shook back her hair and raised her chin. No, she would not cry. She absolutely refused. It was just a summer thing Haley, she told herself. A moment in time. And he doesn't need you anymore...She picked up the old used basketball that lay under the table. Lucas left it there for anyone who might want to play but didn't have a ball. He'd been leaving a ball at the courts for over three years and it had already been stolen twice, but Lucas always replaced it with a new one. He said that if someone was desperate enough to steal an old basketball, he must really need help with his Game and who was he to stand in the way of improving someone's Game?

Haley smiled at the memory and impulsively got up and walked over to the hoop. She loved watching basketball. Growing up with Lucas had given her a definite acquired taste for the sport, but she absolutely hated playing it. Even so... she looked at the basket determindly, aimed and threw the ball at the hoop. It missed by about a yard and Haley frowned and retrieved it. She aimed at the hoop and tried again but she missed it. She tried five more time and missed each time and she felt her heartbeat increasing with each miss. Why couldn't she get the ball in the damn hole? Why couldn't she ever get what she wanted! Despite her avid attempts not to think about him, not to think about _them_--- images of Lucas and Brooke rose unbidding in her mind. Even now, Brooke probably had a very physical hold on what she wanted. What she really wanted quite badly actually...

She felt a tear slowly slide down her cheek as she realised what the true source of her irritation was and she angrily wiped it away. She couldn't understand why she was reacting the way that she was, but she knew that seeing Lucas and Brooke together had affected her. The sight of Brooke and Lucas entering his bedroom together had affected her a _whole_ lot---and the damn ball would just _not _go into the net!

"You're throwing it too wide. You need to aim it straight."

Haley froze at the sound of the familiar voice behind her. It couldn't be...But she had turned around...and it was. Nate was standing behind her dressed in basketball sweats, holding a ball and...watching her. And for the first time in a long time, he wasn't glaring. Haley tried to hide her shock but it was close to impossible. He was the last person she'd expected to see. And definitely the last person she'd expected to talk to _her_.

"Nathan? What are you doing here?" she asked stunned. Nathan looked at her for a moment before bouncing his ball in her direction. He bounced the ball right pass her and did a lay-up shot before turning to face her.

"I'm on break." he said grabbing his ball. "High Flyers lets you off for a couple of weeks halfway through the session."

Haley nodded slowly. "Oh." she said quietly. They stood there in an ackward silence, neither of them speaking, neither of them knowing what to say. Haley turned around and stared at the hoop. She squinted her eyes and aimed the ball. Then she threw it again and watched as it arched through the air...and hit a tree.

Nathan shook his head with a wry smile. "Well...I see that _some_ things never change." he snarked.

Haley looked at him sharply, expecting an insult or a dig...but Nathan stared back calmly, his eyes wide and blue in his face...like Lucas's...

She quickly looked away and went to get her ball painfully aware of Nathan's eyes on her back. She slowly walked back to the hoop wondering what she should do. On one hand, she was kind of...happy to see him. The fact that he had seen her at the courts and not turned running and screaming in the opposie direction, made her feel...well, she felt hopeful. But it also confused her. She had wanted Nathan to forgive her and try to work things out so desperately only a few weeks ago and now here he was, smiling at her, completely insult-free...and she was thinking about Lucas! What was going on with her? Haley felt so many conflicting emotions, that she didn't know if she was coming or going, and the fact that the future valedictorian of Tree Hill High's class of '07 was unable to form a thought, was more than a little disturbing. Haley felt her head begin to throb and she reached for her forehead.

Nathan saw this and frowned worriedly. "Haley, are you okay?" he asked.

Haley looked at him in surprise. "Do you really care?" she blurted out. As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished that she could take them back. She hadn't meant to say them, but the sincerity shining from Nathan's eyes were so at odds with the hatred that she'd witnessed mere weeks ago, that she couldn't help but question its legitimacy. Nathan looked away guiltily.

"I guess I deserve that." he finally said. "but yes..I do care Haley. We _were_ married for over a year...Even while you were away."

This time Haley looked away. She stared down at the ball in her hands gripping it tightly to her chest. Then she looked up at the boy who had grown into a man over the couple years that she had known him. He had been through so much. _They_ had been through so much together! And with all the uncertainty and confusion boiling around inside of her, if one thing was for sure it was that she missed him. She missed Nathan Scott. She missed his cool wit, and his charm. And the way he always made her feel protected. She _really_ missed that personality trait in him right then. But most of all, she missed how happy they used to be together. The ease and comfort that they used to feel in each other's presence. It was gone. And she knew that she held at least part of the blame.

"I'm sorry Nate." She said abruptly. "For everything. I'm sorry that I...that I broke your heart and I'm sorry that I made you feel unimportant, and inadequate and unworthy because--" Her voice broke and she took a deep breath. "because you are more than worthy, Nate. You are worth _so_ much. And even though my going on that tour had nothing to do with Chris, it should have had more to do with you, and I'm sorry that I didn't make you see that." Her eyes filled with tears and she gripped the ball tighter."But you made me see how much more worthy _I_ was than I thought. _You_ did, Nate. If you hadn't encouraged me and supported me and my music like you did, I would have never gone after my dream! And for that at least, I owed you more than a phone call now and then. I owed you my heart." Haley exhaled slowly. "And I hope that maybe one day...that one day, you will...forgive me." She looked at him tentatively. "Do you think that you could do that?" She asked hesitantly.

Nathan had been staring at the ground, but as she looked at him, he slowly lifted his head...and she saw the tears on his face. "I can forgive you, Haley." he said softly "I can forgive you...if you can forgive me, for being such an ass."

Haley's eyes widened." Nathan---"

"I did call you and invite you over on prupose that day, Haley. I wanted you to suffer like I had so many nights picturing you with Chris. Even though I knew deep down that you weren't involved with him, I guess--I guess I had to put a face on the reason you left me. So I called Kassie and set up a date with her knowing you'd see her." He looked into Haley's eyes. "I'm sorry for what I did and how I treated you, Haley. You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve any of it." He looked at her. " So, can _you_ forgive me?" He stared at her, his eyes lit up with a hope that he didn't hide, and she nodded wordlessly and dropped her ball, and then she was in Nathan's arms and they were both crying over the pain that they had shared...and the intense heartache that they'd caused each other.

When they broke apart, Nathan took a deep breath before surreptitiously looking around them as he wiped his face. "Well. I don't think that Oprah or Dr. Phil could have done any better." He said dryly.

Haley laughed and hit him in the arm. "I have really missed that sarcastic sense of humor of yours Nate. No one does it better."

Nathan grinned. "Was there any doubt?" he asked with mock confusion. Haley laughed and hit him again and he hugged her to him for a moment before letting her go. Haley smiled up at him, feeling a little shy which was ridiculous considering she was with her ex-husband...but she did. She picked up the old basketball and turned towards the hoop as Nathan watched her.She felt so rejuvenated! All her previous thoughts had faded into a dull roar and her headache had disappeared. She felt like she could do anything! Secure in her sudden confidence,she threw the ball at the hoop and watched expectantly...as it fell two feet away from her.

She heard Nathan chuckle and whirled around to face him. "What? You know I suck at this!" she said.

Nathan grinned. "Yeah, but I didn't think that it was humanly possible for you to get worse. Evidently that's a possibility."

Haley's mouth fell open. "Ass!" she said retrieving the ball and throwing it at his head.

He laughed and threw the old ball to the side before picking his newer ball up. "Come here." he said.

Haley walked towards him suspiciously. "What?" she asked.

"Luckily you have a very patient, superstar athlete for an ex." he said smugly. Haley rolled her eyes as he turned her around to face the basketball net. "Okay, hold the ball and aim for just above the net." Haley took his ball and did what he said. When he didn't said anything else, she turned and looked at him. "Now what?" she asked

"Patience..." he said slowly , as he gently moved her arms and waist until they were standing in a way that pleased him.

"Now..." he said slowly backing away. "Shoot."

Haley turned and positioned the ball, then following Nathan's instructions, she threw it and watched as it slowly arched downward towards the net... before swishing through it! She'd done it! She'd gotten the ball to actually go into the net! Laughing wildly, Haley rushed up to Nathan and threw her arms around him. "I did it Nate, Imade a goal!"

Nate chuckled "Youhit a shot Haley. A goal would be in hockey."

Haley squealed. "Who cares! Do you realise that this is only the second time _ever_ that I've made a basket! In my whole life?"

Nathan smiled. "Yeah, I remember." He said somewhat quietly and Haley's smile slowly faded. Yeah, Nathan remembered alright... because he had helped her score the first shot she'd made as well two years earlier when her Natzi of a gym teacher had threatened to flunk her if she didn't learn how. Nathan had spent endless hours teaching her how to shoot a basketball and helping her practice. She'd forgotten...

Haley's eyes met Nathan in silent realization and she smiled softly at the memory. She'd been so immersed in all of the bad memories between her and Nathan, that she'd forgotten about the good ones. They had so many good ones...

"We practiced day and nightbut I could never get those balls in the net." She remembered softly.

Nathan smiled. "It was worth it though. You make the cutest faces when you're frustrated."

Haley's cheeks warmed and they grinned at each other, each of them lost in their own memory.Nathan was the first to look away and he turned to get his ball, leaving her staring after him somberly.

"Hey," she impulsively called after him as he bent to pick up the ball.

He turned and looked at her. "What?"

Haley grinned slowly."Bet I can do that twenty more times..." she challenged.

Nathan slow grin mirrored her own."Care to make that little wager more interesting?" He asked suddenly.

Haley arched an eyebrow curiously. "And how exactly would we do that, Mr. Superstar Athlete?" she asked teasingly. Nate's smile deepened as he walked towards her.

"You'll find out soon enough." he said mysteriously. He shot the ball to her and she caught it effortlessly. His eyes widened, impressed. "Go ahead and shoot. I dare you."

Haley smiled, all thoughts temporarily dismissed from her mind as she looked at the basket. She positioned her arms and her waist like he'd shown her.

Then she threw the ball...


	11. To Deceive

...To Deceive

When Haley walked into the kitchen later on that evening sweaty and winded, she found Lucas, Brooke and Peyton sitting at the table eating. They looked up at her and her eyes were drawn to Lucas as if by some invisible force.

"Hey, buddy." he said softly. His eyes were filled with unspoken emotion and it was all she could do not to go to him, and hold him, and let him hold her...but then she noticed Brooke's hand on his thigh and it was suddenly easier to resist the urge. Instead she walked to the sink and washed her hands. She could feel their eyes on her back and she glanced at them.

"What's up?" she asked easily.

Brooke gaped at her. "What's up!" she said incredulously. "Single Girl, where have you been! We called you like---a hundred times! Where were you?"

Haley turned her back on them and filled a glass of water. "I was at the courts."she breezed. "Shooting hoops if you can believe that."

She heard someone choke and looked up in time to see Lucas wiping his mouth as Brooke patted his back.

"_You_ were shooting hoops?" he said with disbelief. "Like--with an actual basketball?"

Haley's eyes were on Brooke's hands caressing his back and her nausea from earlier suddenly returned in full force. "Yes, I was, Luke. What, is it really that impossible to fathom that _I_ was playing basketball?"

Lucas heard the edge in her voice and his grin faded. His eyes locked with hers and she saw the questions there but she ignored them and turned to put her glass in the sink. She suddenly wanted out of that room so much, she could taste it. She wanted to be in the sanctuary of her own room so that she could stop smiling. Stop acting like everything was okay. Because she felt far from okay, she felt horrible. She needed to get away and quickly.

She turned around to put her glass away, but in her haste, she missed the sink and dropped the glass on the floor instead. It crashed and shattered as it hit the ground and the room fell intocomplete silence--then it was a flurry of activity.

Peyton lept to her feet. "I'll get the broom." she said quickly.

Brooke got up and rushed to Haley's side."Are you, okay Haley?" she asked touching Haley's arm.

Haley was speechless as she stared at the broken glass at her feet. "Uh..yeah," she finally murmured."I'm okay.." Lucas who had been at her side in an instant, put his arm around her waist and she melted into him automatically.

"Hales.." he said softly and it was in his voice, that unspoken emotion from earlier and she couldn't help herself. She lay her head on his chest...for a moment. Just a moment...and then Peyton was there sweeping up the glass and she pulled away from Lucas and picked up the dust pan. As she bent down to help Peyton, purposely avoiding contact with Lucas, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Get a grip Haley,_she said to herself. _Keep it together for a little while longer, a little while..._She opened her eyes and met Peyton's, and the compassion and understanding she saw there almost broke her. Almost. But then the glass was in the dustpan and they were standing so that she could throw it away...and the urge to get away became almost unbearable.

"Gosh, I'm clumsy." she said with false cheerfulness as she turned to face her friends. They were all staring at her with different emotions playing across their faces and the urge intensified. "Well, I'm going to hit the shower so..."

She turned to leave but Brooke grabbed her arm. "Oh no you're not!" she cried "Not until you taste this absolutely unbelievable spaghetti whipped up by none other than _moi_."

Haley balked. "Oh Brooke, I'll try some later okay? I'm all sweaty and dirty. I need to--"

"You're not that sweaty Haley, you're just a little...damp." Brooke interjected pulling her towards the table. "Now come on. I'm not taking no for an answer, so sit."

Haley stared at Peyton pointedly, her eyes reflecting the panic she felt, but Peyton stared back helplessly...and Lucas was pulling out a chair for her.

"Come on Hales, it's really good." he said as Haley sat down slowly. He touched her shoulder and she felt his hand slowly slide behind her neck and through her hair before he returned to his seat but Haley refused to meet his eyes. She watched instead as Brooke heaped a huge serving of pasta unto a plate and set it before her before sitting down as well.

"Now, I know what you're thinking. Brooke Davis? A closet cook! But I only started leaning how to cook this summer." Brooke said excitedly. She didn't seem to notice the silence at the table as she chattered on. "Mother and daddy hired this _amazing_ cook, Chef Jean-Phillipe--he's from France and he is _always_ grumpy and complaining about something or other-- but he's a fabulous chef, I swear I've gained at least five pounds already!--And he taught me how to make this absolutely fabulous spaghetti using only noodles, tomatoes, a spoonful of garlic salt and some olive oil and grated cheese. It is to die for, I swear! Go on, dig in!" She watched anxiously as Haley resignately picked up her fork and took a bite of her food. She slowly nodded at Brooke and smiled faintly. "It's fantastic, Brooke." she agreed.

Brooke clapped her hands excitedly before picking up her own fork. "I knew you'd like it!" she said. She took a bite of her food and looked around the table, finally noticing the silence.

"Okay, what's up with you guys?" she asked glancing from Lucas to Peyton. "You're barely eating and Peyt, I'm seriously going to have to start calling you Broody number two, if you don't crack a smile soon!"

Peyton smiled weakly. "I'm sorry Brooke, I'm just not very hungry...and I have a lot on my mind."

Haley saw her glance her way and stared down at her plate unhappily. _So Peyton is still upset at us_, she thought silently chewing her food, _great_...She glanced up at Lucas in time to see Brooke kiss his cheek and her stomach lurched. At least Peyton wouldn't have to worry about her and Lucas anymore. Whatever had been between them--whatever _it_ was--it was obviously over. Peyton had been right. Evidently, it had been little more than a one-night stand to Lucas...

Haley swallowed with difficulty as she felt the food suddenly rise up in her throat.

"Haley?" Brooke said concerned.

"I'm sorry." Haley said rising to her feet. "This is really great Brooke but I'm not really that hungry. I'll eat the rest later okay?" She looked at Lucas and felt the tears starting to come, but she held them at bay. "And anyway," she said "I have to get ready. I have a date. With Nathan."

She turned and put her plate in the microwave as she heard another choked gasp. This time it was Peyton.

"Haley--what?" Peyton gasped astonished.

Brooke's mouth hung open in shock before slowly melting into a dimpled grin. "Way to go Single Girl!" she said proudly. "You and Nathan are going out? Where? And it better be expensive with the way he treated you!"

Haley forced a smile. "Nathan and I are just going out for ice cream, Brooke." she said easily."He came by the courts and we...well we made amends. He's forgiven me and I've forgiven him." She looked at Lucas who sat completely still, staring at her intently. An assortment of emotions played across his face, before it became the expressionless mask that he was so good at hiding behind. But he couldn't hide the emotion in his eyes and the pain that Haley saw there, confused her. Lucas and Brooke were clearly back together. It was evident in the way that she kept on touching him and the smiles he kept sending her way. So why was he upset that she was going out with Nathan? Surely he wouldn't begrudge her time with her ex when he was so obviously back with his! Haley felt a sudden rush of anger start to warm her cheeks. She couldn't believe that Lucas would be so hurtful and selfish and uncaring, she just couldn't believe that. She had to be alone. She made herself smile brightly."Anyways the showers calling, and I'm meeting Nathan at Sugar 'n' Cream so.." She turned to go but Brooke stopped her.

"Wait! That bonehead isn't going to pick you up?" she asked incredulously.

Haley shook her head. "No, he..didn't think he should come by..." Her eyes rested on Lucas as her voice trailed away. When she'd lost her challenge to Nathan and he'd told her that his prize was her going out for ice cream with him, she'd lept at the idea. She and Nathan could start trying to regain their friendship and she could get out of the house and not be forced to watch Brooke and Lucas..._reconnect_. The thought alone made her stomach curl. But then Nathan had asked her to meet him and she'd realised that he purposely didn't want to see Lucas. He still hadn't fully forgiven Lucas for lying to him about going to see Haley in New York and for some other reason that both he and Lucas refused to tell her. Even so, it was a problem that she intended to rectify as soon as she could. Still, she thought as she looked at Lucas,with all that they were going through, she hadn't wanted to hurt him by telling him that his brother didn't want to see him. As Lucas eyes widened with the sudden realization of what Haley wasn't saying, she felt her heart drop in her chest. No matter what they were going through, she hated seeing him hurt.

She looked at him."He just thought that it might be easier to meet at S'n'C because I'm closer to it and all."

Lucas eyes met hers as he saw through her lie and his lips curled into a slight soft smile, beforefading completely.

"Haley." Peyton suddenly said."Are you sure?" Her eyes shone meaningfully and Haley smiled at her gratefully.

She nodded. "Yeah, I actually am." she said "I never thought that Nate and I would get to a place where we could even look at each other, let alone hang out. I'm just grateful that Nathan wants to be my friend again. I mean we both made mistakes but...I hurt him first."

Peyton looked at her and then nodded, but Haley could still see the doubt in her eyes. She sighed inwardly hoping that Peyton wasn't right to doubt Natan's friendly gesture. She'd obviously already been right about one of the Scott brothers'...

Haley bit her lip to keep the sudden sob that threaten to come out, inside. "Okay well...I'm off to the shower..."

She left the kitchen quickly and hurried into her room, her haven. She closed her door and leaned her forehead against it's solid coolness for a moment, taking a deep breath as she leaned against it.

Then she walked over to her bed and as she sank into its softness, she finally let the tears come.


	12. Olive Juice

Olive Juice

Haley covered her face with her hands so no one would hear her sobs as they shook her body. She could still see the look in Lucas's eyes as she left the room but she didn't understand it. And she didn't want too. Because Brooke had been touching him right then, and he hadn't pulled away. Because he wanted her. Brooke was back in his life and he only wanted her now...

Haley wiped her tears away angrily as she walked into her bathroom and pulled off her clothes. She turned and looked at her reflection in her mirror...but all she saw was Lucas laughing and holding her as he had that morning. All she could feel was his hands on her body washing away the soap as she smiled up into his face. Haley felt the tears come again but this time she didn't wipe them away as she stepped in the warm spray of the shower. She let the water beat down on her face washing away the tears, wishing that it could wipe away the pain too. She stayed that way for a long time, until her skin was flushed and tender from the heat. Then she washed her skin, ignoring the memories of Lucas standing there with her, washing her hair, kissing her head...She stepped out of the shower and quickly dried her body before shrugging into her silk Chinese robe that she'd bought at a boutique in New York,and walking back into her room...

...where Lucas stood leaning against her door. She stared at him.

"What are you doing in here?" she whispered fiercely.

Lucas stared at her. "I was waiting for you Haley. Waiting for you to tell me what the hell is wrong with you."

Haley's eyes widened "What the hell is wrong with _me_!" she said "Your the one whose standing in another room with a naked girl, Luke!How did you explain that one to Brooke?"

Lucas stared at her."Peyton and Brooke went to get some groceries Haley. It's just you and me, okay, it's just us." His eyes softened in confusion. "Why are you acting like this? Why are you doing this to us?

Haley stared at him incredulously. She couldn't believe his nerve! Why was _she_ doing this! "Doing what to us Lucas?There is no _us_! Your girlfriend is here! And you've evidently slipped back into your role as her boyfriend. She can barely keep her hands off you!"

"Haley," he said slowly. "Brooke and I are not back together. She wants to be with me, but I told her that I needed some time. I told her that, because I---I realised something this afternoon, something that I didn't tell her. Something...that I only want to tell you." He paused and Haley stared at him, confused. Lucas and Brooke weren't back together? But she'd thought...

"But I thought that's why she came back.To be with you." Haley said confused. "I thought that's what you two were talking about when you went into your room. I thought that's what you guys were _doing_." She stared at him as he slowly walked over to her and pushed a wet strand of hair off of her face.

"I couldn't be with Brooke, Haley." he said softly."Because I realised today that I'm not in love with her."

Haley stared up into Lucas's eyes. She saw an emotion there. An emotion that she recognised eventhough she'd never seen it reflected at her from Lucas eyes. But she'd seen it once before...from eyes a similar shade of blue...

Haley stepped back. "Lucas..."

Lucas was watching her intently as she backed away. "I realised Haley, that I've been feeling something for a long time, something more intense than I've ever felt before. But I never paid attention to it. I never tapped into this..this _feeling_ because I never really wondered what it was. I thought that it was somthing simple and solid and pure. I didn't realise that it was more. I couldn't fathom how much more it was...until last night."

Haley could feel her heart beating through her robe. She hugged it closer to her as Lucas watched her. She wanted him to stop talking but she couldn't open her mouth.

Lucas smiled shakily. " Last night was beautiful Haley. It was...amazing. And I think that it finally opened my eyes. And my heart."

Haley shook her head slowly. "Lucas, stop--"

"I've fallen in love with you Haley" Lucas said softly. "And I think that a part of me always knew that it was there, but it took last night to wake me up. To realise what I feel." He looked at her. "How we feel--"

"No!" Haley cried "Shut up Lucas, just shut up!"

Lucas stared at her. "Haley--"

"You aren't in love me." Haley said, her eyes wide in her face. "_We_ aren't in love. It was one night, Lucas. One night that we both needed, that we both used to forget that we were hurting."

Lucas stared at her. He had expected this. He'd realised that afternoon that Haley was hiding from what she really felt. Haley seemed to need to hide behind the idea that what they had was fleeting and momentary. He didn't understand it, but he wouldn't let her ignore what was happening between them. Somehow, he'd make her see.

He took her hands in both of his."Haley, it was more than one night." he said purposefully."It was more than one morning,okay? And it was sudden, and it crashed into us, but we can't pretend that it's not real." He let go off her hands and held her face staring into her eyes, forcing her to see how he felt. "I love you." he whispered.

Haley stared at him. Her heart was pounding and her throat felt sore but she held back the tears as she looked into Lucas's eyes. They couldn't be in love! She'd seen what love had done to so many of the people that she cared about, what it had done to her. Brooke's heart had shattered into pieces over a year ago because of love. Whenever Peyton's phone didn't ring, or she didn't get an expected e-mail, she was crushed--because of love. Nathan had crashed a race-car and almost _died_ because of love. Love was painful and hard. Love ripped through their lives like a tidal wave leaving everyone it touched, destroyed and broken. She couldn't let that happen to her and Lucas! She couldn't let love destroy what they had.

She gripped Lucas hands on her cheeks and stared at him beseechingly. "Lucas" she said urgently. "Don't you see that what we have is so much better? When you touch me I forget about everything. I just feel! Don't you realise that love will only mess that up, will complicate everything?" Her fingers tightened on his. "We don't need to label this." she said, her eyes wide and urgent. "We can just let it be what it is and not make it more---

"But it already is Haley!" he said intensely "It's already so much more! I _love_ you! And I know you feel the same way, I know you do!"

Lucas felt like his heart was being pulled apart as he stared at the tears in Haley's eyes but he couldn't stop. "You're trying but you can't ignore this Haley! You can't ignore what you feel for me-- what we feel for each other! This wasn't just some random hook up--some mistake we made one night when we were lonely, okay! This is more--so much more! And you know it! You know it..."

Haley was sobbing and she tried to pull away from him but he was holding her tightly. His eyes were full as he stared at her, willing her to listen. "Why can't you just accept this? Why won't you let this happen? I want _you, _Haley. I _love _you!And then he was kissing her, and holding her and no matter how much she wanted too, she couldn't pull away. "I need you Haley.." he whispered. "And you need me.." His hands were on her hips and his face was wet with both of their tears... and they were sinking to the floor.

"Lucas--" she said.

"Don't think, Haley", he whispered."Just feel. Just feel..."

He pulled at the sash of her robe and the silky material parted to reveal her naked body underneath. She moaned as he kissed her neck, and her collar bone and her chest. Her skin was so soft and he caressed her navel with his lips as he continued to kiss a pathway down her body...and then he was at the core of her being and Haley trembled as he kissed her intimately, his hands caressing her thighs as she lifted against him.

"Lucas.." she gasped. She gripped his shoulders as his tongue spoke to her in a way that words couldn't... and she threw back her head as he kissed his way back up to her mouth and then their lips fused together with a heat that was beyond either of their control. She pulled his t-shirt off and his jeans and boxers were down--and he was inside of her... And she gripped him as he pressed into her again and again. Lucas groaned as her legs tightened around them. And they were moving together as one with a passion and desperation that neither one of them could hide. She turned around in his arms and they were still linked but he was holding her to him, her back against his stomach, and his lips were on her neck, and her shoulders, and then her hair while his hands caressed her waist. "I love you, Haley..."he whispered over and over again and they laced their fingers together as they moved faster and faster...until it was as though they were one person. As their rhythm slowed, their breathing quick and hot against each other, Lucas slowly turned her around to face him. She could still feel him inside of her and she wrapped her arms around him as he gazed down at her. Their bodies were slick against the carpet and he brushed her damp hair back with both of his hands so that he could see her eyes. He was still moving against her but his motions were slow, like he wanted her to memorize the feeling of their bodies linked together.

"Do you see?" he whispered as she pressed even closer to him. "This is making love, Haley. We're making love, we aren't having sex or hooking up, I'm showing you how I feel about you. This is what I feel for you."

Tears were rolling down Haley face as he caressed her cheeks and she hugged him closer to her as he slowly made love to her again. He took his time and when they finally pulled apart, they stared at each other for a long moment. Lucas slowly kissed her on her forehead and then her cheek, and she closed her eyes. They were both silent and when she looked at him, her eyes were wide in her face.

"I'm scared, Lucas." she whispered. "I don't want to lose you. I never want to lose you and love--" her voice broke and she swallowed. "Other than my parents, I've never seen love work out. I've seen it hurt and break so many people I care about." She looked into his eyes, her own shining with concern. "I don't want that to happen to us."

Lucas smiled gently. "That won't happen to us, Haley. Nothing is going to break us apart. Nothing. I promise."

Haley slowly smiled up at him.She trusted Lucas more than anyone in the world and he was so confident and sure. Even if she didn't trust it herself, she trusted him. And that's all that mattered.

She turned in his arms, and kissed his shoulder, as he smiled down at her. Her heart suddenly felt so full, as if it was going to overflow with feeling. She slid her legs along his but paused as another thought suddenly came to mind.

She looked into his eyes. "What about Brooke?" she asked quietly. "You said that...she told you she loved you." Haley eyes filled with sadness. "This will break her, Luke."

Lucas frowned and held Haley closer. "I know.." he said softly. He was silent for a moment before he pulled away from her and looked into her eyes. "I'm going to tell her how I feel. But I have to do it right. Find the right time, the right moment..." His eyes were sad as Haley touched his chin. " I can't hurt her again, Haley. I think it would destroy her."

Haley nodded, slowly coming to a decision. "That's why we can't tell her about us, Luke."she whispered. "Not yet. We won't tell anybody until you tell her how you feel."

Lucas frowned. "Haley, I don't want to hide this. I want eveyone to know--

Haley shook her head. "Lucas, Brooke's feelings are so much more important than everyone else's right now." she said. "She stands to lose the most! We have to tell her first and we have to do it right."

Lucas stared at her uncertainly. The last time, he'd waited too long to tell Brooke anything and the fallout had been horrible. This time, there was way too much at stake, but Haley looked so upset...He looked at her worried face and tilted his head."Do you really think we should wait, Haley?" he asked slowly.

She nodded. "Yes, we need to make sure that Brooke is going to be okay before we tell her, and right now isn't that time. We need to make sure that we do this right. I don't want to hurt her Lucas." She looked at himanxiously and he nodded slowly.

"Okay, we'll wait for the right time." he agreed." Although I don't know when that will be, I hope it's soon." He wrapped his ams around her and buried his face in her hair. "I can't wait to tell everyone." he said wistfully.

Haley smiled softly...shyly. "Me neither." A slow heat began to ignite between them as she kissed his neck. "I've...I've never felt this way Lucas." she said softly. "About anyone." They smiled at each other and Lucas slowly lowered his head to hers. Their lips touched and his tongue grazed her as the heat between themgrew warmer. Lucas's hands slowly slid over her hips...just as the loud bass in her Peyton's car rocked the floor beneath them.

Lucas smiled down at Haley, before he quickly pulled on his jeans and his shirt. "You get the feeling that that's for our benefit?" he asked wryly.

Haley smiled slightly as she realised that it probably was. Peyton rarely took advantage of her top of the line stereo system. Fortunately for them, that night she'd decided to share her love for Citizen Cope with the world.

Lucas caught Haley's wilted smile as she pulled her robe on and stood wrapping it around her. "What's wrong, Hales?" he asked tilting her chin up so he could see her eyes.

"I'm just realising how hard this is going to be. Us, pretending we're just friends." she said smiling shakily. "I want to hold you and never let go, and I'm supposed to pretend that I barely want to touch you?" She took a shaky breath."This is going to suck on so many levels." Lucas wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

"Yeah, but not for long,baby. It's only going to be unbearable for a little while." he said softly. He looked at her and smiled suddenly."Hey, whenever I look at you, whether we're alone or with other people,just think 'Olive Juice' okay? Remember that."

Haley looked at him confused. "Olive Juice?" she said skeptically.

Lucas smiled. "Yeah, when you mouth the words to someone at a distance, it looks like your saying 'I love you' more than the actual words look themselves."

Haley giggled. "Are you serious?" she asked amused.

Lucas grinned. "Yes, I swear! So remember that, Haley, okay? Olive Juice, very much." His voice softened." And remember this..." He tilted her head and kissed her passionately, his lips moving against hers, memorizing every curve and every tilt, his tongue tasting her sweetness as she leaned against him. And then he pulled away and stepped back...just as Brooke stuck her head in the door.

"Hey Broody, hey Single Girl!" she said as she walked into the room. "Are you ready for your date with Mr.Ass?"

Haley slowly opened her eyes and gripped the table beside her so she wouldn't fall. Lucas's kiss had almost made her knees buckle and he winked at her as she stared wide-eyed at him and put her hands on her flushed cheeks.

"Yeah, just about." Haley said breathlessly. "Where's Peyton?'

"Oh, she's checking her messages, you know to see if there are any _special_ ones." She shrugged. "I told her that if Jake really cared he would have called or even e-mailed by now but she'swon't listen to me.She's completely blocked me out, can you believe it? I guess she's hoping... that he'll love her enough to want to be with her." Brooke was looking at Lucas and he smiled at her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"I want something sweet." he said swiftly changing the subject. "Anyone else up for it? There's some Cookies 'n' Cream in the freezer..."

Brooke dimpled prettily. "I would absolutely love to eat some ice cream with you, Lucas!' she said huskily."Come on, it's a date!" She took Lucas hand and led him through the door pausing momentarily to wink at Haley. "Have fun, Haley. Don't do anything I _would_ do!" She laughed and sauntered out pulling Lucas behind her. Lucas's grin wasn't quite as cheerful.

"Don't have too much fun." he whispered. Haley leaned in close to him.

"I forgot something," she whispered. He looked at her, expectantly as Brooke tugged on his arm.

"Olive Juice, too." Haley whispered. Then she smiled softly and closed her door.


	13. Old Habits Die

**Henka in response to your ch.10 review, don't worry. Eventhough it seems like it, it's not ;)...I swear!**

Old Habits Die

Haley sat grinning, on a wrought iron chair on the patio outside of Sugar 'n' Cream. She knew that she was smiling like an idiot, but she didn't care. She was in love. She was in _love! _With her best-friend! And it felt..._fabulous_.

She touched her lips which were still sensitive, a reminder of Lucas' parting kiss and smiled at an older couple who passed her strolling hand in hand. They smiled back at her and she resisted the urge to tell them that she was in love too, choosing instead to watch them as they slowly ambled up the crowded street. The small dessert shop was located almost exactly in the center of Tree Hill's Main street. It had an old-tymey feel to it but the waiters with their crisp white shirts and black pants that promptly took your orders with a 'yes, ma'am , no sir', brought a nicely added touch of class to a traditional idea.

One of these impressive waiters asked Haley if she wanted to order yet and she shook her head with a polite 'no'. Nathan was running late as usual--she guessed that some things _didn't _change afterall--but she welcomed the time to herself. She was bursting with so much emotion, and she wanted to get a slight handle on it...before she had to look into Nathan's eyes.

Haley sighed, feeling the first tinge of unhappiness since being with Lucas and looked at the busy street around her. As was typical of any friday night, the street was packed with the town's inhabitants who drifted from shop to shop eager to see what each store had to offer eventhough they already knew the displays by heart. The night air was filled with laughter, excited chatter and the occasional impatient car horn but it slowly faded to the background and Haley heard none of it as images of Lucas began to play across her thoughts. She closed her eyes and smiled at the recent memories of him that filled her mind. She thought about how his eyes had looked when he'd told her that he'd loved her, and how soft his hands had felt when he'd showed her. She thought about how dark his eyes turned right before he kissed her and the way he tilted his head when he looked at her. She thought about the faint smile that always waited on his lips and the reverent way that he said her name--and suddenly the desire to be with him was so overwhelmingly strong. She wanted to be with him so much, to feel his arms around her holding her to him, to hear him whisper her name in that way that he did that made her tremble...She just wanted to be near him. She'd just left him and she already couldn't wait to see him again! Haley shook her head feeling completely bemused at her irrational feelings. She couldn't believe that her usual cool-headed logic was being overtaken by this newer more unsteady version of herself. _What has Lucas done to you, Haley? s_he thought smiling wonderingly.

"He's fallen head over heels for you." Nathan said knowingly.

Haley jumped startled as she looked up at him in shock. "Wh-what!" she stuttered.

Nathan grinned and motioned to a table nearby where a young couple and a cute little boy sat, eating ice cream. The little boy was staring at her as he chewed monotonously.

"I think that little guy has official gotten his first crush." he said amused. The little boy blushed when Haley looked at him and he grinned displaying two missing front teeth and a half-eaten cone...and possibly some banana--Haley didn't know, but she smiled back at him and tried to calm her rapidly-beating heart as Nathan sat down across from her.

"Hey," she said somewhat breathlessly...which was appropriate seeing as how she'd almost had a heart attack! "What took you so long? I was about to stand you up."

Nathan smiled apologetically. "Sorry about that." he said. "My mom wanted to talk and I just didn't pay attention to the time..." His smile faded. "She hasn't really talked much to me or anyone since...since my dad died. So when she suddenly opened up...well I wanted to be there for her, you know?"

Haley frowned sympathetically. "Yeah, of course, Nate. I'm glad you stayed and talked to her." She paused. "So, she's still doing pretty badly?"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah." he said quietly. "My grandparents moved in last week and my grandmother says that she's worried about her." He looked at her briefly before staring at the table. "They think that--that she needs to see someone. Like a--a shrink or something."

Haley nodded slowly. "Well that...that may not be such a bad idea Nate." she said softly. " I mean despite everything that happened between them...your mom really loved your dad. His death was a real blow to her."

Nathan nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be such a bad idea. Maybe she could open up more about what she's feeling with someone who didn't know my dad."

The waiter approached then and as Nate turned away to order, Haley watched him. After his father's funeral, she'd tried to talk to him but he'd ignored her and she hadn't had another chance since. But maybe now...maybe now that they were trying to be friends again...

"I'll have a double fudge sundae with almonds, pecans, walnuts, extra whipped cream and a chocolate milkshake. Oh, and two S 'n' C special sugar cookies." Nathan was saying. He turned to her. "Haley?"

Haley smiled at the waiter. "I'll have one scoop of vanilla, please. No cone."

Nathan groaned. "Haley, you're killing me!" he said with disbelief. "I mean we are at the one and only Sugar n Cream! Come on, live a little!"

"Okay, okay!" Haley said widening her eyes at him. She turned to the waiter. "Two scoops." she said.

The waiter smiled and walked away as Nathan chuckled."Wow Haley, live on the edge why don't you. You sure you can drive home after that? We might have to call you a cab!"

Haley stuck out her tongue at him. "Hey not everyone has your speed-demon metabolism, friend." she said pointedly. "I've got my figure to watch, you know."

Nathan smiled. "Oh, don't worry, I'll watch it for you." he teased. Haley smiled somewhat ackwardly and Nathan looked away.

"I'm sorry." he suddenly said. " I didn't mean to say that. It just feels so normal to be here with you like this...I guess old habits die hard."

Haley shook her head. "It's okay, Nate." she said quickly, but Nathan cut her off.

"No, actually it's not." he said quietly. "What we used to have is over. We can't be how we were before and I can't act like I did." He looked at her. "And it's okay...but it hurts."

Haley bit her lip. "I know." she said softly. "I know Nate."

They were both quiet for a moment interrupted only when the waiter returned with their dessert.

"Thank you." Haley said, welcoming the interruption. She picked up her spoon and was about to take a bite when she noticed that the waiter hadn't moved. She looked at him.

"Yes?" she asked pointedly.

The waiter blushed and Haley frowned curiously. "Umm, I'm sorry." he said nervously. He looked around him. "I probably shouldn't be doing this, my boss would kill me but... are you Haley James?"

Haley nodded slowly. "Yes..."

"I knew it!" he cried. "My name's Kyle, Kyle Garrett. I used to go to Tree Hill, I graduated three years ago. Anyway, I saw you in concert last month in New York and you were awesome! Would you mind signing your autograph for me, please? It would _really_ make my night! Please!"

Haley smiled uncertainly glancing at Nathan. "Okay...sure. Do you have a pen?"

The waiter pulled a pen from his pants and a piece of paper from the order pad in his shirt pocket and hastily handed them to Haley. Haley quickly signed her name feeling more than a little embarrassed as other customers stared at her curiously and the waiter grinned as she handed it back.

"Thank you so much, Haley--Or Ms. James? Which do you prefer?--Anyways, sorry to have bothered you, enjoy your ice cream! And thanks again!"

He backed away from their table and Haley slowly turned to look at Nathan, her eyes wide. "Okay now that was weird." she said

Nathan was watching her, a small smile on his face. "How so? That must happen to you all the time now."

"But never in Tree hill!" Haley said excitedly. "Never in my hometown! That was the first autograph that I'vesigned in Tree hill!" She shook her head in wonder. "Wow." she said feeling overwhelmed despite herself. She took a bite of her ice cream, slowly shaking her head as a few customers continued to stare at her. Nathan looked at her thoughtfully.

"Do you miss it?" he asked suddenly. "The music, the tour, performing on stage...all that. Do you miss it?"

Haley stared at him silently for a moment wondering what she should tell him. This topic used to be such a sore spot between them and she didn't want to ruin the camaderie that they were finally feeling. But when she looked into his eyes, she saw a genuine interest there so...she decided on the truth.

"Everyday." she said softly. "Every second of every minute of every day."

Nathan looked at her. "Can you...can you rejoin the tour? If you wanted too, I mean? Can you go back on tour again?'

Haley looked down at her ice cream. Evidently Nathan wanted to make amends in a way that was not in his power to make.

"No. " she said finally. "Once I quit, I was cut out of the tour." she looked at him. "It's over Nathan."

Nathan frowned. "Maybe--"

"No, there aren't any maybes about it." Haley said somewhat sharply. She softened her tone. "It's done, okay? Let's drop it." She took a deep breath and looked away as Nathan continued to watch her thoughtfully for a moment before slowly drinking his shake. Her throat felt full but she held on to the emotions she was feeling and forced a smile to her face. She didn't want their time together to involve remembering painful memories. This was their chance to make everything right between them and she intended to do her best to make that happen. For her and Nathan...and Lucas. She glanced at Nathan who had begun to devour his dessert and pondered what the right way to go about broaching the subject of Lucas would be. She quickly realized that the only way to do it, was the direct way.

"So..." she said slowly. "When are you and Lucas going to start talking to each other again?" she asked.

Nathan's spoon paused midway to his mouth as he took in what she'd asked. "Were not." he said abruptly. "and Haley I really don't want to talk about it right now, okay? Tonight is about you and me. Not you, me, and Lucas. You're not going to fix our relationship this time." He guzzled the last of his shake and bit into a cookie. "Just like I told Lucas, I'll tell you. I don't have a brother anymore alright? Let's just leave it at that."

Haley stared at him. "Nathan, how can you forgive me and not forgive Lucas for something he did _for_ me? That's not fair--"

"And that's not the only reason Haley!" Nathan interjected. "Bpttom line, Lucas proved to me that I can't trust him. He doesn't have my back and that's too important for me to ignore." He finished his cookies, and looked at her. "Trust is a big thing with me Haley, you know that and there is no trust between me and Lucas. That's it."

Haley felt like her heart was in her throat. Trust was a big thing in any realtionship but it was _huge_ in Nathan's eyes. Hundreds of let-downs from Dan had made trust a rare and treasured necessity in his life and he demanded it from everyone he cared about. Eventhough they weren't together anymore, Haley was smart enough to realize that Nathan would probably consider some aspect of this trust violated when he found out about her and Lucas and her stomach lurched at the thought.

She took a deep breath. Still, she had to try. Lucas and Nathan were the only brother's each other had after all. And since Dan's death, they needed each other even more. She had to try to get them to work things out.

"I guess I just don't understand why you won't give him a chance--

"Haley, he lied to me!" Nathan said loudly. "More specifically, he lied to me about you! I just can't forget that. I can't just let it go. Now can we please drop this? Please?..."

His eyes pleaded with her and she looked away. The happy-high that she had been floating on only minutes ago had disappeared completely, replaced instead by cold, stark reality. She was beginning to realize that not everyone would be embracing her and Lucas with open arms when they told everybody that they were together. In fact some people might be greeting them with open hostility...and possibly a fist or two. Haley balked at the thought of Lucas being hurt but she knew that it was a real possibility. Things were going to get worse before they even got _bad_.

Nathan saw her troubled expression and he hesitantly covered hers hands with his own.

"Are you full yet? You sure ate alot." he teased motioning to her barely eaten ice cream. Haley smiled weakly and Nathan squeezed her hands comfortingly.

"Come on, Hales don't think too hard tonight." he said."Things will work themselves out without you solving all the problems of Tree Hill, I promise."

Haley's smile widened slowly. Nathan really did know her too well.

"Hey," he said suddenly. "Let's go walk down Main street...you know look in the stores at everything we already know is there." he chuckled. "Come on, it'll be like old times." he said. He grinned at her. "Are you in?"

Haley grinned and nodded and they stood to leave the restaurant leaving their money with the bill on their table. Haley noticed Kyle the waiter standing near the kitchen door with two other waiters and he motioned wildly at her before waving enthusiastically. She smiled and waved back and her and Nathan left the shop.

They walked up and down Main street, looking in the stores and laughing together at silly things like a stuffed dog wearing a pink wig at an antique store or the naked mannequin with the one boob in a store window...and he was right, it did feel like old times. Except that they weren't married and Haley wasn't in love with him...

And the little added fact that she was passionately in love with his brother.

But other than that...


	14. Break Me Off a Piece of That

Break Me Off a Piece of That...

When Haley crept into the house a few hours later, it was silent and dark. She glanced at the time on the microwave and frowned when she saw that it was only twelve o'clock and yet the house was completely still. She could see Lucas and Brooke's cars out in front and she'd had Peyton's car so Peyton couldn't have gone anywhere without Brooke or Lucas's modes of transportation. Surely they all couldn't be asleep...and yet the only sound that she could hear was the faint hum of the fridge.

Haley slowly tiptoed to her room and swiftly changed into a tank top and one of her most treasured possessions, a worn pair of Lucas's boxer shorts that she'd stolen from him in the seventh grade. He'd been asking for it back for over three years now, eventhough he routinely saw her wearing it, but she had no intention of giving it back. Haley crept back to her door and opened it. She listened cautiously, but no sounds came from Karen's room which Peyton and Brooke were sharing. She slid from her room and closed the door before stealthly creeping into Lucas's room. She quickly went in and locked the door behind her. Then she pressed her ear against it and listened for any sounds in the hall but none came and she leaned against it briefly taking a moment to ponder the irony of the situation. She, Haley James, formerly Haley James Scott, and formerly formerly TutorGirl, was sneaking into a guys bedroom in the middle of the night so they could make out? If anyone had told her two years ago that she'd one day find herself in this situation, there would have been alot of pointing and laughing on her part...and then some more laughing...and possible a slapped knee or two. Also, a guffaw.

But now, here she was. Sneaking into her boyfriend's room to make out...and she was lovin' it. She smiled into the dark and quietly made her way towards Lucas's bed.

"Hey you,"she whispered "I'm back. You can ravage me now." She chuckled and slid onto the bed next to Lucas expecting to see him smiling back up at her, but instead she was met with a pair of tightly closed eyes...and some faint snoring. Lucas was _sleeping_? He hadn't waited up for her? She couldn't believe it!

She stared down at him in disbelief. "Lucas!" she whispered. He didn't budge and she frowned and gently shook his shoulder. "Luke, wake up, it's me." she said softly but Lucas remained deeply unconscious. Haley's mouth dropped open. Here she had been thinking about Lucas all night, and he couldn't even stay up pass midnight to say goodnight? And possibly give her a little kissey-kiss?

"Lucas Scott, I can't believe you didn't wait up for me." she said softly staring down at him. His deep breathing was her only response and she shook her head in mild amusement. She slid down beside him and rested her head on his chest so that she could look into his face. His eyelashes which she'd envied ever since they were twelve, rested against his cheeks in a way that made him appear entirely too innocent and she smiled tenderly despite her annoyance at his apparent lack of interest in the possibility of a booty call from the girl he loved.

"I don't know what's come over me, Luke," she whispered to him _while he slept_. "You were on my mind every second tonight." She ran a finger down his cheek and slid it across his lips. "All I could think about was getting home and jumping into your arms and holding you and never letting go." She lay her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat...so she didn't see his eyes slowly open or the smile that gently played across his features.

"I don't know how this happened so quickly or so completely..." Haley said running her fingers up his arms."But I am _so_ in love with you. In a way that doesn't even compare to how I've felt before." she paused. "Like with Nathan."

She didn't see Lucas frown and she continued. "I guess I thought that Nathan was my first love," she whispered thoughtfully. "But tonight I realized...I realized that it was you all along. It's always been you." Lucas' frown melted away into a wide smile as Haley stared into the darkness completely unaware.

"It took _one_ moment to break down the walls so that I could realize it. One crazy beautiful moment..." She snuggled closer to Lucas. "And I never want this feeling to end. Never..."

"And it never will." Lucas whispered softly encircling her with his arms. Haley froze before lifting her head to look at him.

"You ass!" she smiled happily. "You've been awake this entire time!"

Lucas grinned. "Of course I have. I've been waiting to do something since before you left."

Haley smiled slowly. "And what's that?" she asked

"This..." Lucas softly kissed the tip of her nose and both of her cheeks. "..and this.." He nibbled at her earlob sending shivers down her spine and she giggled into his shoulder.

"And what else?" she asked her voice muffled by his t-shirt.

Lucas smiled mysteriously before flipping her over and pinning her to his bed. "Umm...oh yeah, this..." He pulled the straps of her top down kissing the exposed skin there as he pushed the top down to her waist. Haley's body felt flushed with heat as his tongue encircled one waiting rose-colored peak. Her drew her in his mouth, softly kissing her before moving to the other and she writhed against him, wanting to feel his body pressed against hers, longing to be closer to him. She moaned as his tongue caressed her slowly and she raked her fingers across his back sliding them down his body as she felt his desire for her, hot against her thighs. She reached for him and he groaned against her as she touched him...

And then they heard a knock at his door.

They froze and stared into each others' eyes, passion-induced confusion causing them a delayed reaction. But then they heard her voice..

"Lucas!" Brooke said softly "It's me, open up!"

Haley's eyes widened and she quickly pulled her top up as Lucas quietly shifted his body away from her. He held a finger to his lips and she nodded silently.

"Lucas, open up!I know your awake, I heard you moving around!"

Haley closed her eyes. She couldn't believe that this was happening. Although she knew that she wasn't, she suddenly felt like the _other_ woman in some bad Lifetime movie, and the thought made her feel sick to her stomach. She looked at Lucas and his heart fellwhen he saw the look in her eyes. He hugged her to him tightly.

"Lucas.." Brooke said softly. "I know you're awake. Just open up, I want to talk to you. I swear this is not some plot to get into bed with you or anything, I just...I just want to talk.."

Lucas closed his eyes. He felt like the biggest ass in the world. But he couldn't open the door. Despite how close everyone knew that he and Haley were, there was no way that he would be able to explain why they were locked inside his room so late at night. There was no way he could explain the passion that was shining so clearly in Haley's eyes, a look that he knew was reflected in his own. No, there was no way out of this except to pretend to be asleep. They waited anxiously as they heard Brooke sigh on the other side of the door.

"Okay, maybe you are asleep..." they heard her murmur to herself. Then: "but if you're not, you are a _really_ huge jerk."

They waited until they heard her walk away and the sound of her bedroom door closing. Then they waited for several more minutes, their hearts racing against each other until they could calmly let one another go. They stared at each other wordlessly. Then he shook his head.

"I'm telling her tomorrow." he said decidedly."I'm telling her the truth."

Haley's eyes widened. "Lucas, no!" she whispered urgently. "You can't tell her yet. She will never forgive us!"

"Haley, what do you propose I do! Wait until we get married and you're pregnant with our third child! I think she might get suspicious before then!"

Haley paused. A slow, soft smile replaced her desperate frown as she stared up at him. "Married?" she whispered. "You and me?"

Lucas slowly smiled down at her. "Well, yeah...one day. Not soon but.." his smile softened and he gently kissed her stunned lips." Haley, don't you understand? You're pretty much it for me."

Haley's eyes widened and slowly began to fill with tears. She was speechless. Her heart was filled to overflowing at the thought of spending her life with Lucas. Being with him forever. Having his last name as hers...Again...

But then the issue at hand suddenly popped into her head and her frown became worried again. "And I want Brooke there Lucas. At our wedding. Standing beside me, happy for both of us. That's not going to happen if you tell her tomorrow. I've seen the way she looks at you. She'll be devastated!"

Lucas' frown was troubled. He turned and lay down beside her, his eyes on the ceiling."I know you're right, Hales. But I can't do this. I can't hold you and touch you one night and then pretend that we're just buddies the next day while you go out on dates with my brother.I don't want to pretend anymore. One day was hard enough."

Haley turned and looked at him. She was already so intuned with him that she could feel his pain. She hated that this was so hard for him, but she knew that she was right. If Brooke found out about them, before she had time to get over Lucas, before she had time to maybe even possibly find someone else, she would be _heartbroken_ and she would never forgive Lucas for breaking her heart again or Haley for helping and Haley couldn't handle that. Brooke had slowly but surely become one of her best-friends and she didn't want to lose her. Haley had so few to lose as it was. She looked at Lucas and bit her lip. Still, she couldn't handle seeing Lucas so troubled. So torn apart. There was only one thing to do...

"Let's take a break," she said abruptly. Lucas looked at her in shocked silence. "What?" he said slowly.

Haley took a deep breath. "You and I being together like this, isn't helping any of us." she said slowly sitting up. Lucas followed her, his irritation clear in his frown.

"You and I..._being together_ like this?" he echoed. He shook his head. "Haley, you and I are not taking a break, okay?" he said. "We are _together_, in a relationship. We are not a Kit Kat bar! We are not taking a break."

Haley took a deep breath. "Lucas, I don't mean a break from one another. I mean a break from this. You and me, kissing,making love... It's making everything more complicated--

"Haley, love is complicated!"

"But it doesn't have to be!" Haley said intently. "I think that for a little while, at least while you convince Brooke that you two would be better off as friends, we should.." she paused "take some time from this, fromeach other. That way it'll be easier to focus on Brooke and we won't have things like this happening again and again." She spoke quickly, urgently.

"Haley---"

"What if I hadn't locked your door, Lucas?" she interrupted."What if Brooke had walked in on us, what then? Could you really be happy with me knowing that Brooke's heart is broken because of it?"

"Yes, I could."

"Lucas."

"Haley, this might sound harsh, but we can't let our lives revolve around Brooke, okay? Brooke is very strong! Yes, this will be hard for her at first, but she will get over it. She will, and she'll move on."

"Yes, but only if she chooses to. Without the knowledge that two of her closest friends have moved on way before she was ready."

Lucas ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before finally looking at her.

"So what you're saying is that you want us to act like friends...when we're around everyone...and when we're not?"

Haley nodded slowly. It would be hard, but she could do it. Just for a little while. If it would make things easier throughout this whole mess. At least, she thought she could do it. Just for a little while...

"Just until, things cool down with Brooke, baby," she whispered running a hand through his hair as he stared at her unhappily. "We can't keep on jumping everytime someone knocks on your door or enters a room..." She laced her fingers through his. "It'll just be on the outside. It won't mirror how we really feel. Inside, I'll be loving you everytime you walk into a room, everytime our eyes meet.." She smiled shakily. "Olive Juice, remember?"

Lucas shook his head at her in wonder. "And you think that it'll be so easy? That we'll be able to see each other and not touch or hold each other or make love, and we'll be fine?"

A tiny whisper of doubt tried to worm it's way into Haley's resolve, but she ignored it. "Of course it won't be easy Luke." she said softly. "But it'll _make_ things easier. For all of us. And it won't change what we feel in here." She touched his chest and he stared into her eyes for a long moment, before nodding slowly.

"Okay," he finally agreed "if that's what you want, I'm not going to try to change your mind. I'm not going to keep on fighting for this alone, Haley." He pulled away from her and climbed off of his bed and she frowned at his last statement.

"What do you mean, _keep fighting for this alone_?" she asked. "I'm not fighting at all, Luke this is for both of us--where are you going?"

"I'm going to the bathroom." he said abruptly. "Can you close the door on your way out?"

She stared after him incredulously as he walked into his bathroom.

"Lucas..." she said pleadingly, but he had already closed the door. She stared at it her eyes full, her throat sore but it didn't open again and Lucas didn't walk out smiling at her in that special way that he did. Silence was her only companion.

She walked over to the door and tried the knob but it was locked and she rested her head against it. She had made the right decision...She knew she had and Lucas would realize it too, he would. But the cold silence on the other side of the door did nothing to make her feel better. She swallowed against the painful lump in her throat and slowly backed away from the door.

"Olive Juice." she whispered. Then she carefully opened the bedroom door and slid out closing it softly behind her.

Neither of them slept that night.


	15. Picture This

**Thank you guys for your reviews, especially CC and Henk who've been there since the beginning. MisFaith, welcome to the family! Prue, where are you:) Hope you guys like this one...**

Picture This

Two and a half weeks.

Two and a half miserably, horrible weeks.

Two and a half miserably, horrible, _unbearable_ weeks since she and Lucas had exchanged so much as a polite hello.

Haley looked across the living room at him where he sat intently reading a novel on the couch and she felt her heart drop even lower into her stomach in a way that she hadn't thought was possible. Since their disagreement two and a half weeks ago, Lucas had been treating her just like he always used too...

Before they fell in love.

It was almost like they had gone back in time to a place where Lucas Scott and Haley James were best-buds, pals, comrades, good friends...

She hated it.

Lucas looked up and met her eyes just then, and she thought that she caught a glimpse for a moment, of the inner turmoil that was boiling around inside of him everytime she was around. For a moment she thought she saw that his pain went as deeply as hers did...

And then it was gone.

"You okay Hales?" he asked in that voice from so long ago. The voice of a caring brother or friendly stranger-- whichever he was choosing to be at the moment, neither of whom she liked. "You don't look so well."

Haley glared at him. "I feel sick to my stomach." she said woodenly. His eyes locked with hers in a wordless battle for a moment...before they calmly dropped back down to his book. "I have some Pepto in my room..." he said nonchalantly. "You know where it is don't you? Feel free..."

Haley's glare deepened and she would have thrown her journal at his head right then, except they weren't alone in the room. Peyton who was watching their icy interlude with growing bewilderment, was sketching a picture of them on her drawing pad. Beneath her nimble fingers, a picture of Lucas and Haley staring longingly at each other from across a wide, desolate desert was beginning to take shape. Brooke suddenly gripped her wrist and Peyton hastily smudged her picture with her palm.

"Hello! Peyton's wrist paging Brooke's hand, you're hurting me!" Peyton cried.

Brooke let go quickly."Sor-ry Groucho, I wasn't holding you _that_ hard. I just wanted you to pass the Passionfruit Pink."

Peyton sighed and passed Brooke the pink nailpolish. "Might I add that I do not like your newest nickname for me, B.Davis?" she grumbled.

Brooke smiled at her tightly. "If you don't like it, why don't you give me a chance to call you something else? Like P.Smiley or Giggle Girl? You barely do either anymore."

Peyton sighed again and Brooke looked at her. "Okay, fine I'll change it. I've just been struck by genius." She smiled at Peyton. "Can you please pass me the Disco Ball nailpolish?... Sigh Girl?"

Peyton shot her a look and passed her the sparkle polish before sighing heavily again and Brooke rolled her eyes. Peyton returned to her drawing. She looked up at Lucas and Haley again and picked up her charcoal. This time, Lucas was watching Haley intently as she wrote furiously in her journal. Peyton's heart twisted with compassion at the look in his eyes and he looked up and caught her watching him just then, and smiled faintly before returning to the book that Peyton suspected he was only half-reading. Peyton was beginning to realize that the only reason that Lucas and Haley were sitting in the livingroom at all was so that then could be close to each other...although she also suspected that neither of them realized it. She stared at them. Something very complicated was going on between those two...Or at least, more complicated than usual.

She sighed again, sticking her tongue out at Brooke who shot her a look, before she turned to a worn page amid her drawings. Jake's eyes crinkled up at her as if he himself was about to step out of the picture and she felt her eyes fill with tears as she slowly outlined his cheek with her charcoal. Oh, she missed him...She missed him so much, that she hurt in a place deep down inside of her chest. Where was he! If only he would call her...let her hear his voice. If only...

"Peyton...?" Lucas said, his voice heavy with concern. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Peyton looked up to find three pair of eyes staring at her. She wiped at her eyes, quickly. "Nothing." she said standing abruptly. "Just got some charcoal in my...I'm going for a drive okay? I'll be back, whenever--" She turned to go.

"I'll go with you." Haley said jumping to her feet.

Peyton looked at her. "Haley--"

"I need to go for a ride too." Haley said pointedly."Fresh air. And all..."

Peyton glanced at Lucas and sighed "Okay. But we're listening to my music. With no complaints, got it?"

Haley smiled. "Roger that, Sigh Girl."

Brooke dimpled. "Hey!" she said slowly. "That's actually kind of catchy."

Peyton frowned at her but Brooke ignored her and waddled to the couch Lucas was sitting on, her toe-nails still wet. "Looks likes it's just you and me Lucas." she purred sexily. "Whatever will we do to pass the time?"

Lucas smiled and passed her the book he was reading. "Paragraph three, line five. Start from the beginning and read slowly, I confuse easily. We'll take turns." At the sight of Brooke's pretty pout, his smile softened "... and then I'll take you to Sugar 'n' Cream. My treat." he added.

Brooke squealed excitedly and grabbed the thick book from his hands. "Line five?" she asked.

Lucas nodded with a grin and leaned back, his hands behind his head as she began. He winked at Peyton, but he completely ignored Haley and she noticed. Lifting her chin in the air, she stalked past a completely mystified Peyton, pretending that he was completely insignificant as well. It wasn't until they were speeding down the freeway fifteen minutes later that Peyton asked the question that had been burning in her mind since Brooke's impromptu visit almost three weeks ago.

"Haley, what is going on with you and Lucas?" she asked. Her friend stared straight ahead, red hair flying around her set face, her eyes boring holes into Peyton's windshield. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, letting the breeze lift her hair from her heated face. Then she turned and looked at Peyton.

"Nothing." she said shakily. "Except that I hate him." Then she covered her face and started to cry.

* * *

Lucas was only partly listening as Brooke throatily read from the book in a way that made it sound like a steamy Jackie Collins novel instead of the literary work of art that it was. His heart was heavy and his mind was on Haley and the devastated looks she sent him everytime their eyes met. She was hurting something fierce, just like him. And he couldn't do anything about it.

Brooke paused. "Broody, are you even listening? This is a really happy part and you look upset."

Lucas forced a smile to his face. "I'm listening. You know me, I brood naturally."

Brooke tilted her head. "Yeah, but still...you've been doing it a lot more lately." She tilted her head, concerned. "Are you okay?"

Lucas grinned. "Yes, Barbara Walters." he teased nudging her with his foot. " Quit stalling, read."

She smiled and tossed her head seductively before continuing, a sexy lilt in her voice. Lucas' smile remained but his mind was on that fateful night weeks ago. The night he saw the fear in Haley's eyes. It had been _him_ who was hurt that time. When she'd suggested that they take a break from each other until he could tell Brooke the truth at the right time, he hadn't believed how easily she'd decided to end what they had--especially for such an uncertainamount of time. Here he was, barely able to be away from her, and yet she could easily make a quick decision that would keep them physically and emotionally apart?

He hadn't understood her apathy about it at first. But then he'd looked into her eyes, really searched and he'd suddenly seen the truth. He'd realized then that Haley hadn't trully given him her whole heart. A part of her was still running from him, from them. She was running scared. She was partly hiding behind Brooke as a way to hold back a small part of herself and he couldn't stand that. He wanted her whole heart. He wanted _all_ of Haley. But she had to want him back and she had to realize that on her own, even if it meant that he had to step back, that he had to pull away from her...

And so he had. He'd stepped _way_ back and as he looked out the window at the bright blue sky, he wondered if they would ever find their way back to each other again.

* * *

Peyton stared stunned out of her windshield as Haley sniffled in the passenger seat beside her. She had just been given a short run-through of what had been going on under the roof that they shared, and although she was somewhat jarred, she wasn't completely shocked. She nodded slowly and Haley looked at her curiously.

"What?" she asked her voice low and husky, her throat raw. "You look surprised..but you don't."

Peyton smiled softly. "Haley. I knew that you and Lucas were in love the moment I walked in on your shower."she said matter-of-factly. "There was something more than just sex in your eyes, and believe me I would know. Nathan and I rarely showered seperately in our day. It was very obvious that you were both in deep." She paused and glanced at Haley. "No pun intended." She chuckled and Haley shot her a look before smiling grudgingly, herself. She took a deep breath.

"Maybe you saw more than you thought Peyt." she said softly. "I mean, I _thought_ we were in love. It felt like love..." She shook herself fom her thoughts and stared at the passing scenery flying by them. "But was it really? I mean I suggest we take a little break and Lucas suddenly forgets how we feel!" She looked at Peyton. "How am I supposed to take that?" She asked. She sighed and shook her head. "I knew it." she whispered. "Deep down I knew, I just knew that falling in love--calling what we had love--would ruin things! If we really ever were in love--"

Peyton glanced at her. "Haley, that's crap! That's absolute crap!" she said with feeling. "I've seen you both walking around like you've lost your souls or something these past two weeks! And when you look at each other---Look, just believe me, okay? You and Lucas are head over heels--"

"Then why is he acting like this?" Haley interrupted. "I said that we should cool off not ice down! Lucas has become a perpetual iceberg!" She propped her head in her hands and stared sadly out of the window. " I miss him, Peyt." she whispered. "I miss him so much that it actual hurts. It literally makes me sick knowing that I can't touch him, but that he's doing just fine without me.That's he's able to go on with his day like I don't exist." Her eyes filled with tears again and she wiped them away as they fell.

Peyton stared at her friend, her own eyes soft with compassion. "I know Haley." she said knowingly."Believe me I know."

Haley looked at her, suddenly remembering that Peyton had been the first one to initiate their escape. She dried her tears and looked at her friend intenty.

"Peyton, I'm so sorry! How are _you_ doing?" she said. "In all of my melodrama, I completely forgot that your heart is not exactly in one piece either. I really suck!"

Peyton smiled shakily. "It's okay--"

"No, it's not!" Haley shook her head. "I haven't been a good friend to you lately at all Peyton, and I am _so_ sorry. Forgive me?"

Peyton nodded slowly her own eyes filling as Haley took her free hand and held it tightly.

"So,"she repeated gently. "How are you _really_ doing?"

Peyton stared out of her window for a long moment before looking at Haley. Her face fell as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"I'm a mess Haley." she whispered brokenly. "I'm really a mess."

This time, _she_ cried.

* * *

"...The End!" Brooke shouted closing the book purposefully.

Lucas chuckled. "Brooke you barely read one chapter!"

She pouted and tilted her head. "Come on Luke, I'm feeling snack-ey! And S'n'C is calling your name, can't you hear it?" She cupped her hand to her ear and listened."Luu-casss!" she said in a low-pitched voice."Where arrrre you? Bring your ass dowwwwwn here and eat some iiiiice cream!"

Lucas laughed. "Wow, S 'n' C sounds like a cross-dresser. I thought she was a girl?"

Brooke's mouth fell open and she swatted him with a pillow.

"Okay! Okay..." Lucas finally relented. "Let's go." he grinned. "But if S'n'C starts talking again, we're out of there!"

Brooke dimpled."Awesome! Go get dressed and I'll meet you out front."

Lucas looked down at his distressed jeans, blue t-shirt, and brown sandals. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?

"Sooo many things, none of which we have time to discuss right now so go on and change, okay? Puh-leeeease?" she whined when he didn't move. Lucas sighed goodnaturedly and walked to his room and Brooke watched him, her eyes on his oh-so firm behind as he disappered into his room. _Okay, Broody,_she thought silently._You don't know it, but you're mine tonight._

She grinned and reached for her purse, knocking down Peyton sketchbook in her haste. As she reached down to pick it up, it fell open revealing a picture that Peyton must have been in a rush to draw because it was very smudged. Brooke paused and stared closely at one of the faces in the picture. It was pretty faint, but she was almost positive...Yes, it _was_ Lucas staring at someone, his hand reaching towards them. Brooke squinted her eyes and held the picture closer, peering down at the other person. It was a girl and her face was smudged as well but Brooke could barely make out---yes, big doe eyes. And full lips tilted so sadly in such a familiar way...

Brooke's eyes widened as she suddenly realized who it was. Ever so slowly she let the drawing fall to the table, her eyes locked on the sketch. _No, _she thought_ it can't be... _but Peyton's drawings were like diary entries. They told all that they saw and explained everything with one blink of an eye and what this drawing was saying resounded like one long scream in Brooke's head. She felt her heart start to pound loudly in her chest, shaking her body with its intensity. _No_, she thought. _NOT again. Not again!NotagainNotagainNotagain----_

"Brooke?" Lucas said gently "You okay? You look like you just ate dead skunk." He grinned and Brooke tilted her head and smiled back brightly. She grabbed her bag and skipped to his side.

"No." she giggled linking her arm through his. "No one's dead yet." She grinned slowly and they left the house.

Laughing all the way.


	16. You Can't Handle The Truth

**Thank you to those who are continuing to review! I'm glad you're enjoy this story!**

You Can't Handle the Truth

_Lucas stared at Haley coldly, his face set, his mouth lifted in a faint smirk._

_"You should see your face right now," he chuckled. "You look hilarious!"_

_Haley stared at him, her eyes wide with unshed tears."I don't understand" she whispered. "I thought that you loved me--?"_

_"Oh..." Lucas said with mock surprise, his eyes wide with false pity. "You thought that? Well, I lied."_

_Haley shook her head, refusing to believe the cruel words flying from his mouth, refusing to accept what he was saying to her with such cold precision._

_"Lucas!" she said reaching for his face._

_"Stop!" he frowned pulling away from her.He backed away slowly, his eyes filled with disgust. "Why would I fall in love with _you_!" he asked incredulously. He shook his head as he slowly moved farther away. "I fall for girls like Peyton and Brooke, Haley." he said derisively. He looked at her from head to toe. "Girls that can satisfy me. You know, girls who know what they're... doing?" He scoffed at her as she began to sob brokenly._

_"You're lying.." she whispered. "You're lying!"_

_"Yeah." Lucas nodded thoughtfully."I do lie. I lied to Peyton. I lied to Brooke..." he looked at her. "and I lied to you Haley. I don't love you. I never did.."_

_Haley shook her head reaching for him but he was too far away now, his voice echoing loudly_

_"I don't love you." It resounded all around her. "I never did. I never did. I never did..."_

_"No!" she yelled. "You do love me Lucas, come back, please! Come back! Lucas!"_

"Lucas!" Haley shot up in her bed, her eyes wide as she looked around her dark room, breathing heavily. All of a sudden her door burst open and Lucas and Peyton ran in. Lucas was at her side in an instant.

"Haley!" he said, his eyes wide with concern. "What happened? What's wrong, you were yelling..."

Haley looked into his eyes." I was dreaming." she said, brokenly. Their gazes locked and she saw the worry reflected there. The derision she'd seen in the eyes of the Lucas in her nightmare was gone, and it had never been there, really. It had all been in her mind. With slowly dawning clarity, Haley was finally giving in to the truth. Lucas _did_ love her. It shone so brightly from his eyes that she wondered how she could have ever doubted it.

Because she had, she finally realized. Ever since he'd told her that he loved her, ever since that night weeks ago, she'd never completely accepted it. She'd never completely believed it.

But she did now. At that moment, every last tinge of doubt melted away as his eyes travelled across her face as if he was memorizing every feature. He gently pushed her hair from her cheeks and she closed her eyes. How could she have doubted him when his feelings were emanating from him so brightly, encompassing her in its light? She didn't doubt him anymore, and she never would again. Before she could stop herself, her arms were around him and she was crying into his shoulder.

He put his arms around her and held her tightly, caressing her back.

"It's okay," he whispered. "It's alright, baby. You're okay now..."

Peyton looked at them, her heart twisting at the sight. They were so obviously in love! And it looked like Haley was finally completely aware of that fact. Like she had finally accepted the truth.

"That must have been some nightmare." Peyton mused as the couple pulled apart. They stared at each other and Peyton smiled wryly.

"Okay, well I'm going to go back to bed..." she murmured. She turned to go, pausing momentarily at the door. "Brooke said she'd be back in an hour." she added hesitantly. She hated feeling like a conspirator. She hated the fact that she was helping to hide anything--especially from Brooke. But Lucas and Haley _were_ in love and nothing was going to change that. She just hoped that when Lucas and Haley finally told her, the fallout wouldn't be too disasterous. For any of them.

Lucas turned and smiled faintly at her. "Thanks, Peyt." he said, realizing her plight, grateful for her grudging support.

Haley smiled at her apologetically. "Thank you." she said meaningfully. "For everything. Sorry for waking you up."

Peyton smiled wryly. "Hey, who can sleep?" she said softly. She smiled and left the room, closing the door behind her and Lucas and Haley slowly turned to look at each other. They were silent for a long moment, Haley pensive, Lucas patient. Finally, she looked into his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lucas." she whispered. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry because...I doubted you. I doubted...this. What we have. And I used Brooke to put off having to face it." Her throat felt thick and she swallowed aginst the lump there. " Deep down, I thought...I thought that you couldn't love me. I guess that loving you for so long without knowing it, made me doubt both of our feelings."

Lucas was silent, his eyes watching her keenly. She reached for his cheek

"Lucas, I _love_ you." she whispered intensely. "I love you more than I even knew was possible. You have always been an important part of my life but now...now I can't see any part of it not involving you." She moved closer to him and stared deely into his eyes. "You've become a part of me, Luke." she said smiling wonderingly. "And I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to tell everyone. I want to tell the world!" She looked at him. "but first, I want to tell Brooke, everything. Tomorrow." She paused and stared at him, her eyes clear and sure, and shining with love. "I want to tell her that I'm in love with you Lucas Scott."

Lucas looked at her. His eyes were suspiciously bright and he slowly smiled at her, his face lit with a light that she hadn't seen since their last night together. He reached for her face and held it tenderly between his hands. "You can tell her that," he said softly." after I tell her how much I love you, Haley James."

Haley's smile widened into a happy grin and she threw her arms around him with an impulsive squeal."Oh, I love you, I love you!.." she whispered against his ear. He was holding her tightly and she felt like she never wanted to be out of his arms. He gently pulled away and looked into her eyes, before softly kissing her. The kiss was slow and deliberate and tender and their mouths moved against each other gently at first, their tongues softly touching and communicating all the emotions that they couldn't form words to say.The warmth between them grew and she felt her control slipping...but Lucas pulled away first. They were breathing hard as their foreheads touched and Haley closed her eyes as she tried to calm her rapidly-beating heart.

"I want to make love to you." she said emotionally. "I want to touch you and show you how I feel, _so_ much--"

"I know." Lucas whispered looking into her eyes. "I want that too. But I don't want to rush, and I don't want there to be anymore guilt between us. I want us to take our time." Haley sighed and he kissed her forehead slowly, before tilting her head up to meet her gaze.

"Tomorrow. After we tell Brooke. After we make sure she knows and she understands...and she's okay. We'll go somewhere together, just you and me."

Haley smiled shyly. "Like a real couple..." she murmured blissfully. Lucas grinned and kissed her nose.

"Yeah, a real couple." he said huskily. "We can hold hands and kiss..." he looked into her eyes."and make love and wake-up in each other's arms.." He smiled teasingly. "and make love again."

Haley giggled and snuggled closer to him and he kissed her hair and her temple reverently. She smiled as she thought about how it would feel to make love to Lucas and know that it was okay because they were together and they loved each other. Her smiled faded slightly, at the realization that she might be losing a treasured friendship the next day. She knew that Brooke would be heartbroken and angry at them both when she found out, but she hoped...she hoped that Brooke wouldn't write them out of her life completely. Haley cringed at the thought and she tried not to think about it, but images of Brooke's tear-filled eyes rose unbidding in her mind.

She sighed anxiously and Lucas arms tightened around her. "Is she ever going to forgive us, Luke?" she asked wonderingly, her eyes wide and sad.

Lucas rested his head against hers as he thought about it. He took a deep breath before nodding hopefully. "I think she will Haley. Eventually, when the hurt goes away. Brooke has a big heart. I think she'll forgive us one day."

Haley nodded, her heart filling with hope. Yes, Brooke would be hurt and angry at first, but eventually it would fade away. And she would forgive them. She would.

She would...

* * *

_Never_. 

Brooke folded her arms tightly around herself as she slowly walked down Main street. _I will never forgive Lucas and Haley for this._ _Never_.

She wiped the tears that were streaming down her face, but they kept on coming. The damn things kept falling from her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to stop them. She wished that they would take a cue from her heart and freeze over. She just wanted to stop _feeling._ She wanted the pain in her chest to go away! But the pain was there throbbing inside of her, making her ache. And it was deep and so intense that she could barely breathe...

But she kept walking. She refused to stop until she reached her destination. She saw it ahead of her, the antique bench across fom Sugar 'n' Cream and she exhaled slowly as she reached it and slowly sank to it, her mind full, her heart heavy. Her thoughts wandered to earlier during the afternoon when she'd gone to Sugar 'n' Cream with Lucas. It had been all she could do not to hithim and scream into his face and ask him why he didn't love her and beg him to want her...but she'd pulled it off somehow. Years of pretending it didn't bother her when he parents missed a birthday or her dad didn't call when he was away for weeks on a business trip, had finally been good for something. And she deserved an Emmy for the carefree smiles and flirty giggles she'd managed to keep up during her joke of a date with Lucas. The fact that he had been so obviously distracted had also helped. And Brooke had seen it then.

She'd finally seen what she'd evidently been too stupid to notice on her own eventhough it had been clear all along. Lucas was in love with Haley. She didn't know how long it had been going on but since everyone was so obviously trying to hide it from _her_, it had to have been going on since before Brooke had moved in. Or after. Either way, her guess was that The Traitor Trio had been keeping this secret fromher for at least a few weeks now, possibly longer. Brooke bit her lip as the feeling of betrayal overwhelmed her. She felt like such an idiot! How could she have missed something so obvious--something that was so in her face! She'd seen it in Lucas eyes. The way that they had twinkled whenever either of them had saidHaley's name, had almost made her choke on her Caramel cone! And the look in his eyes when Brooke had mentioned how hard it must have been for Haley to give up her career to try to work things out with Nathan. How much she must still care about her ex-husband...

She'd seen something in his eyes at that moment too. Something possessive and unsure and a little worried...

And that's when she'd come up with her plan. Her plan to destroy them both.

Brooke's eyes were cold and hard as she stared at the passing couples who walked by her, some holding hands, most laughing. It made her sick to her stomach. It was all she could do not to stand and scream at the top of her lungs, _Don't bother, it won't work! Love doesn't work, Give up! _But she kept it together. She stayed calm. And she was waiting for someone...

As if on cue, an arm was slung over her shoulder as an arrogant laugh filled her ears.

"So you finallly realize how much you want me, huh Davis?" Nathan said confidently. "It's about time. So shall we go to your car or mine?"

He chuckled as Brooke turned to glare at him. "Can it Scott, this wasn't a booty call. I need your help with something."

Nathan's smile faded as he noticed her tight expression. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft and concerned. "You look...botox-ey."

Brooke smiled slowly and Nathan was suddenly reminded of a show he'd recently seen onAnimal Planetone night, where a tiger had slowly stalked it's prey, a harmless doe before striking and catching the doe's neck in its mouth, ripping it to shreds. He frowned warily.

"Brooke?"

Brooke looked at him. "No, I'm not okay Nate." she finally said frostily. "But I will be." She stared at him. "Will you help me?"

Nathan leaned back, his eyes on her face. Somehow, he doubted that he had a choice.


	17. Tell Me No Secrets

**Thanks for your encouragement CC! It motivates me! Thank you to the rest for your reviews, keep 'em coming!**

Tell Me No Secrets...

"Good morning everyone!" Brooke said cheerfully as she walked into the kitchen the next morning. She dropped a kiss on Peyton's cheek and ruffled Lucas' hair before sliding gracefully into an empty chair. Her three friends stared at her curiously. Brooke was a renowned morning person but today she sounded even perkier than usual. She was simply bursting with energy! Haley smiled at her tentatively.

"What's up with you this morning, Tigger?" she asked curiously."You look like you're about to bounce off of the walls!"

Brooke grinned at her. "You want to know what's up, I'll tell you." she said bubbly." Mother and Daddy said that they were going to call me with some important news this morning and I cannot wait!" She looked at Peyton. "I think that I'm getting that BMW Z3 like Daddy promised! You know, the red one?"

Peyton's mouth fell open ."No. Way!"she said as Brooke clapped her hands excitedly.

"Way!" Brooke beamed.

"Do you think?" Peyton asked her eyes wide.

Brooke nodded slowly, her grin bright with anticipation. "What else could they be calling me for?" she asked. "You know them Peyt, they rarely even call each _other_ let alone me! I'm surprised Mother even remembered my number!"

Peyton nodded thoughtfully and Brooke grabbed a box of Frosted Flakes from the table and poured some into a bowl. Haley smiled slightly and looked at Lucas who was watching her. He took a deep breath and picked up his spoon.

"Hey, Brooke after breakfast, I was wondering if you and I could talk about something. It's pretty important--"

Just then Brooke's cell phone rang loudly and she squealed with excitement and grabbed it to check the display. "It's them!" she cried. She lept to her feet and took a deep breath before answering.

"Hey daddy!" she crooned sweetly. "How are you guys?" she asked. She paused and nodded. "Hi mom, yes I can hear you too. How are you doing?"

She grinned at her waiting friends who were all openly staring at her and winked as she leaned against the counter."So to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" she asked.

She listened and they watched as her bright smile gradually faded to a look of absolute horror. "Wh-what? Repeat that, I don't think I heard you right..." she said.

Peyton, Lucas, and Haley exchanged glances as Brooke's hand lept to her mouth. "What--I don't...I don't understand! When did this happen? When did you decide this?" She listened again and her eyes filled with tears as she slowly shook her head. "No." she whispered. "I don't belive this. I can't believe you guys. How coud you tell me this over the phone!"

Peyton slowly rose and walked to Brooke's side. She rested her hand on her friend's back comfortingly but Brooke pulled away.

"How can you say that to me?" she cried. "I was there in California almost three weeks ago, you could have told me then, or you could have waited to see me! Who calls their daughter in another state and tells her their getting a divorce over the phone!"

Haley's eyes widened and her gaze locked with Lucas' as his eyes filled with concern.

Brooke was shouting now. "No, I will NOT calm down, mother! This is a load of crap and I refuse to listen to it any longer! No, goodbye!...I'm hanging up daddy!"

She closed her phone and threw it on the counter before covering her face with her hands and sobbing into them. Peyton gently rubbed her back and Brooke fell into her arms, her body shaking with the intensity of her sobs. The pain that was causing them was real but she wasn't crying over her parents divorce. As far as she knew they weren't getting one.

No, she was crying because her heart was broken in two for a very different reason, and as the two causes of its damaged state, both walked to her side and touched her consolingly, she silently vowed that she would make them feel the same pain that she felt. Lucas and Haley would suffer as much as she was, if not more.

But first she would act her ass off.

* * *

Nathan stared at the phone in his hand with complete bewilderment. Listening to Brooke's dramatics on the other end had done nothing to qwell the growing unease that he'd been feeling since the night before when she asked him to keep Haley occupied for a week. He hadn't understood then and he didn't understand it any better now. In fact he was more confused. 

The night before, Brooke had told him that she was trying to reconnect with Lucas but that Haley kept getting in the way because she was afraid that Brooke would hurt Lucas again. When Nathan had asked her why he should care, she had smiled mysteriously and told him that she felt that it might be in his best interest to reconnect with Haley as well. At first he'd balked at the idea. He and Haley were barely becoming friends and he didn't want to do anything to ruin it. More importantly, he wasn't sure if his heart could take another beating after the past year. It had definitely been one of the most traumatic of his life and he wasn't sure he wanted a re-play.

But then...Haley's smile rose in his thoughts. He'd thought about that night weeks ago when they'd hung out just like old times, and how familiar it had felt, how...nice. And his resolve had slowly started to melt. He really did miss Haley and whenever he'd looked into her eyes on that night, it had been hard for him to remember that they weren't together anymore. He'd almost kissed her several times, catching himself just before she'd smiled up at him or turned his way. It had been very hard but the fun that they'd had had made it all right and he'd been disappointed to see the night end. It had bothered him a lot and so he'd purposely avoided her after that night, not answering her calls or her text messages and pretending to be out the one time she'd visited. He remembered his grandmother scolding him as he'd jogged down the stairs after she'd left.

"Nathan Scott that is no way to treat a young lady, especially your ex-wife. What has come over you, young man?"

"Self-preservation, grandmom, self-preservation." he'd said. She'd given him a strange look before walking away, shaking her head and murmuring under her breath, but one thing Nathan had realized that night was that he was not completely over his ex, and he knew that he needed to distance himself from her for awhile before they could genuinely become friends again.

..and then Brooke Davis had tempted him with an apple.

He shook his head as he put his phone down and looked in the mirror. When he'd agreed to help Brooke, despite his severe reservations, she had asked him to call her at exactly eight thirty in the morning. She hadn't explained why and he hadn't seen the harm in it...till he'd called her and she'd started yelling into the phone about her parents. He'd asked her what she was up too, but she'd continued the charade finally hanging up on him much to his relief. Nathan sighed. He'd known Brooke for years and he knew her well enough to know when she was up to something...and she was _really_ up to someting right now. Everything inside him was telling him to turn and run for the hills and take cover...but then he thought of Haley's sweet face and that smile that had always done him in...and his worry faded away. If Brooke needed him to distract Haley from her over-protective whims towards Lucas, then he was very happy to oblige. What didn't kill him would make him stronger, right?...Or destroy him completely...

He grinned, warily at his reflection in the mirror and ran a hand through his hair._The things I do for my friends_, he thought wryly. He stood and headed for his bathroom.

He wondered what Haley's plans were for that afternoon as he turned on the shower and adjusted its temperature. Maybe he'd go by and see her. Maybe she'd smile at him...

He stripped quickly and stepped in.

* * *

Haley handed Brooke a glass of water and she took it gratefully, sighing deeply. 

"Thanks, Haley." she said with a weak smile. She looked around at her three friends who stood around her chair and slowly drank the water as they watched her, their faces etched with concern._ Liars, _she thought bitterly, but on the outside she smiled.

"I don't know what I'd do without you guys." she said softly. "I've always felt like an orphan with parents but...you guys make me feel like...like I have a real family."

"You do." Peyton said patting her arm. She looked at all three of them. "In a way we kind of all are." she noted thoughtfully.

Lucas nodded. "Yeah, since mom's been off in Australia looking for Andy, my family has felt a little sparse." he said softly. "And everytime she calls, it's to say that she's extending her stay and to hold down the fort." he looked away. "and Dan...well he never was much of a father. Even when he was alive."

Haley touched his arm and he smiled at her softly before quickly looking away, an exchange that Brooke caught and despised. _Sickening! Has it always been so sickeningly blatant?_ she thought incredulously. _I must be half friggin' blind!_

Haley sighed. "And my parents are somewhere between Texas and Florida!" she mused. "Or at least that was what their last postcard said." She shook her head humorlessly.

Peyton joined the pity party. "And my dad hasn't shown _any_ concern over the fact that I've been receiving creepy e-mails from some would-be stalker. And my mom..." she paused and they all looked at her. Peyton hadn't mentioned the strange incident with the lady claiming to be her mother to anyone. Not even her dad. She wanted to talk about it with him face to face but...he just wouldn't come home! Peyton sighed.

"So you see, Brooke, you are a very important member of our sad little family. And however depressing that may be," she paused and looked into her friends eyes meaningfully. "you are not alone, okay?"

Brooke smiled at her but on the inside she was screaming. _You Liar! You friggin' Fake! How could you claim to be my BFF and then not tell me about The Traitor Two! You are just as bad as they are Peyton, and I will never forgive you either! Never. You chose who your real friends are when you betrayed me! _Outside, she took Peyton's hands in her own and squeezed out a couple more tears.

"Thanks, Curly." She looked at them all. "I don't know what I'd do without you three." She saw them all avert their eyes from her and she felt a tiny shred of satisfaction._That's right, Traitor Trio, _she thought_. Deal with that. You feeling the pain yet? Oh, you will. Mark my words, you will..._

Peyton caressed her head. "Are you feeling a little better now?" she asked."Do you want to go for a ride or something? Take your mind of things for awhile?"

Brooke looked at Lucas. "Actually, Lucas said something about a walk? Didn't you say you had to talk to me Luke?"

Lucas looked at her, a myriad of emotions dancing across his face. Finally, he nodded slowly. "Yeah, if you're up to it. Let's take a walk."

He looked at Haley and saw the question in her eyes. He shook his head slightly and she nodded before turnung away. He knew that she'd understood him and agreed. They couldn't tell Brooke about them today. She'd already been hit by too much. Any more heartbreak would destroy her. He'd tell her the truth, he'd tell her soon. But not today. He smiled and Brooke held out her hand and dimpled cutely as he slid his hand into hers.

_That's right Lucas, smile._ she thought coldly. _It'll only make it that much sweeter when I take it from your face. _Brooke grinned and led Lucas to the door. She saw Haley watching them and she let her head fall to Lucas' shoulder as they walked out of the house. As Haley frowned slightly, Brooke's grin widened. She'd just planted the first seed of insecurity into her good friend Haley's oversized brain.

_Grow, grow little seed_, she thought as Lucas smiled down at her._Grow and grow like a weed_.

She snuggled closer to him.


	18. I'll Tell You No Lies

...I'll Tell You No Lies

Haley glanced at the clock for the fourth time since she'd walked into Peyton's room. It hadn't changed since she'd looked at it two minutes ago. It was still 1:00 pm in the late afternoon...and Lucas and Brooke were still gone. She sighed and Peyton looked at her curiously.

"You know," she said slowly." If you keep sighing like that, Brooke's going to christen you Sigh Girl number two before you know it. And believe me, it won't be fun."

Haley looked up at Peyton and smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes and Peyton was filled with sudden understanding. She stopped drawing, closed her sketchbook, and threw it on the bureau, before turning to give Haley her full attention.

"Okay," she said knowingly."What is it?"

Haley who was lying on her back staring up at the ceiling, slowly squinted up at her waiting friend.

"Peyt, it's nothing. Really.."she said slowly. "I was just thinking about Brooke. You know, hoping she's okay. Hoping she's feeling better..."

"Hoping her and Lucas would get their asses back here already?" Peyton guessed wryly.

Haley smiled embarassed as her friend hit the issue square on its head. "I know, I'm an awful person, I know!" She covered her face with shame as Peyton chuckled.

"Haley, you're not an awful person." she said sincerely.

Haley peeked at her from between two fingers. "I'm not?" she asked meekly.

Peyton paused thoughtfully. Then she nodded as if by afterthought. "Actually, maybe you're a tiny bit evil..." she laughed as Haley's mouth fell open.

"Okay, I'm kidding. You are not horrible Haley! You're just in love!"

Haley bit her lip. "Yes, I am, I'm horrible." she said finally dropping her hands in frustration as she turned to her side and looked at her friend.

"Brooke has just found out some life-changing, earth-shattering news and all I can think about is my boyfriend's ass...Literally."

Peyton laughed. "Well it is quite a nice ass.." she admitted

Haley grinned. "Isn't it though?" she sighed blissfullly. Peyton arched her eyebrows and Haley caught the look and smiled.

"Yes, I know, see?" she admonished. "I'm a horrible person. My friend's in pain and all I want is my boyfriend back home with me." she sighed dreamily "doing things to my body..."

"Woah!" Peyton giggled. "Overshare there Haley."

Haley grinned. "Sorry. It's just there's something about being in love you know? It just makes you want to tell the world, shout it from roof tops..."

Peyton smiled enviously. "Yeah, I remember that feeling " she sighed. She lay back beside Haley and Haley took her hand sympathetically.

"How are _you_ holding up?" she asked. "Still no word from Jake, huh? "

Peyton shook her head. "Not a one." she sighed dejectedly."Not a friggin' one..."

Haley squeezed her hand gently. "Peyton, I know this must be really hard for you." she said. "But I trully believe that wherever Jake is, you are always on his mind."

Peyton stared up at the ceiling. "Sure I am." she said quietly. "that's why my Cell has been ringing off the hook with his calls. Because I'm _so_ on his mind and all."

Haley stared at her friend worriedly. "Peyton, it really is going to be okay." she said with conviction. "Jake is going to find Jenny and then he's going to come back and fight for her and be with you. And you'll all be together."

Peyton sighed. "And then we'll fly away on a unicorn and live happily ever after?" she said disbelievingly. She shook her head. " I don't believe in fairytales anymore Haley. "she whispered. "Jake won't find my lost shoe. He won't kiss me and wake me up from a long deep sleep, okay? He's gone, and he's not coming back."

A single tear fell from the corner of her eye and Haley's worried frown deepened. She'd been so caught up in Lucas and her new feelings that she hadn't really being paying attention to what Peyton was going through and what she saw now, worried her deeply. Peyton's sadness was as deep and all-consuming as a well. She was drowning in it, and Haley couldn't believe that she hadn't noticed. She sat up slowly.

"Peyton," she said intently. " I know that I've only recently entered into a place that you've been in with Jake for a while now, but I do know what true love is now, and you and Jake have it in acres!"

Peyton sat up and shook her head at her friend. "What could we really have had Haley? Jake left and he hasn't called or e-mailed me or even sent me a friggin' letter, okay? He's just gone and he doesn't care and I'm tired of hearing how much he does! It's over"

Haley bit her lip. Peyton's pain was so heavy that it was almost palpable. She didn't know how she could have missed it.

"Peyton," she said softly. "I'm sorry but I think you're wrong." She took her friend's hand. "Jake loves you. He _loves_ you! I think that...he hasn't tried to contact you because he doesn't want to hurt you anymore than you already are." Her eyes were wide and sincere and Peyton felt her own beginning to fill with tears.

"He's already hurt me Haley." she whispered. "He left." She stared at her friend, her eyes wide and confused. "How could he just leave me?" she asked brokenly. "How could he just walk out of my life so easily?"

"It wasn't easy to walk away, Peyton." Haley said knowingly, her own eyes wet with tears. "Take it from someone who knows."

Peyton felt the hard shell she'd built around her pain, begin to melt away. She looked into Haley's eyes. " I miss him, Haley." she sobbed. "I miss him _so_ much..."

"I know.." Haley whispered as she put her arms around her friends shaking shoulders. "I know Peyt.."

Peyton cried into Haley's shoulders as her resolve completely faded away leaving only her bruised heart in its place. Tears slid down Haley's face as she comforted her friend, gently patting her back. They sat that way for what seemed like hours but was really only several minutes before Peyton pulled away wiping her nose on her sleeve.

"Sorry...you know, for the boogers and all." she said eyeing Haley's shirt as she sat back.

Haley smiled wryly. "That's okay, this shirt's yours." she chuckled. Peyton's mouth fell open and she picked up a pillow and swatted Haley across her head. This time Haley's mouth fell open.

"Hey." she cried indignantly. " I just wiped your tears!" she pointed out.

Peyton laughed. "Okay big baby, I'll wipe yours now!" she swatted Haley again and Haley grinned and picked up the other pillow.

"Oh, that was low.." she said shaking your head. "Get ready for some pain...Sigh Girl!" She swung at Peyton who ducked and they both rolled off the bed giggling loudly...

...and tumbled right into Nathan's long legs.

Nathan surveyed them in wordless surprise before breaking into a slow grin.

"Bam, Chi-ca wah, wah..." he whistled,murmuring the porno theme as he surveyed them happily. "You ladies need any help with those pillows? " he asked seductively.

Peyton and Haley looked at each other for a moment before smilimg in silent agreement. "Uh yeah, actually we do." Haley said easily...then they both pummeled him with their pillows in unison.

"Ow, that hurts!" Nathan cried out as they swatted his head and his rear with deadly precision. They stopped for a moment, laughing as they tried to catch their breath and Nathan stared at them with a puzzled frown. "Why'd you stop?" he asked unhappily. "I liked that." He smiled slowly as they stared at him, shaking their heads with amusement and he reached for a pillow slowly taking aim at Peyton's head.

"Batter up." he grinned. He lifted his pillow slowly and Haley and Peyton exchanged determined glances.

"Charge!" Haley yelled. They ran at him and wrestled him to the floor and Nathan chuckled as he grabbed both of them around their waists and hugged them to him. "Hmmm..." he said looking from one to the other. "I've had this dream before.." he grinned. "Bam chi-ca wah, wah---"

He was interrupted by the pillows that flew at his head.

* * *

Lucas glanced at his watch impatiently. It was 8 pm and Brooke had been in the ladies room at the restaurant for close to twenty minutes. They were at Bellissimo, the tiny TreeHill italian restaurant that was well-known in cities as far as New York for it's signature lasagna. They hadn't planned on eating out for supper but after their walk that morning, Brooke had wanted to go for some ice cream...and then she'd wanted to go see a movie. And after _that_, she'd wanted to grab some sandwiches at the local Subway and eat them in the park. And then it was some ice cream on Main street...and after that she'd wanted to sit and talk and they had...for_ hours._ And by then it had been supper time and Brooke hadn't wanted to go home and think about her conversation with her parents and she'd begged Lucas to eat at Bellissimo with her...and of couse he had agreed even though he hadn't wanted too. He'd wanted to go home and see Haley and kiss her and hold her and...he smiled to himself, memorize every curve of her body. But instead he'd been stuck eating italian food he wasn't hungry for in an expensive restaurant with a girl he was about to hurt. A girl who was already hurting very much. 

Lucas sighed as he glanced at his watch again. Both Haley and Peyton were probably wondering where they were. In his haste to leave the house that morning in order to comfort Brooke, he had completely forgotten to take his phone with him and Brooke had left hers on the counter so they'd been virtually unreachable the entire day. Lucas stared out of the wide, scenic window across from him as an image of Haley smiling sweetly at him filled his thoughts. He wanted to see her so badly it was all he could do not to run out of the restaurant. He thought about her soft skin and the sexy way she arched her back when she stretched that drove him absolutely crazy. He thought about her genuine, unassuming laugh and the way her hair fell across her forehead...and the way she moaned when he kissed her neck, and the look in her eyes when he touched her--

"What are you thinking about?" Brooke asked curiously. Lucas smile faded as he focused on the girl sitting across from him. He hadn't even noticed when she'd sat down! He really needed to get a grip. He cleared his throat quickly and reached for his water.

"I was thinking about home actually." he murmured picking up the glass. He took a sip of water and peered at her over the rim. "Peyton and Haley must be worried sick about us.They haven't heard from us all day, and they were already worried about you." He looked at her. "I think it's time to head back."

Brooke nodded slowly. "You're probably right. I guess I can't hide forever, my problems _will_ follow me wherever I go." She frowned warily...but then a slow smile replaced it as her eyes widened knowingly.

"But I'm sure they're not that worried. " she said. "Especially Haley, you know...what with Nate coming over and all."

Lucas glass paused about a millimeter away from the table before he set it down. It was very brief and no one should have noticed...but Brooke did. She smiled inwardly.

Lucas looked at her with feigned indifference. "Oh, is he?

"Yeah, I don't think I'm supposed to say anything about this but...oh I guess it won't matter soon anyways." She leaned conspiratorially towards Lucas. "I think that Nathan and Haley are headed towards a reconciliation." she said excitedly.

Lucas frowned and looked at her curiously. "Really... Why do you say that?"

Brooke grinned brightly, but inside she was smirking. "Well, I don't know if I should tell you but...hey,you are his brother afterall..." she nodded decidedly and leaned towards him. "Well, I bumped into Nate last night and we were talking about old times, you know like when we all used to hang out and when he and Haley were married all all? Anyways, he told me that he _really_ missed her, and that he thinks he made a mistake. He said that he hopes that they can work things out!" She smiled at him. "Isn't that awesome? He said that they really bonded that day on the courts and that later that night they reconnected again and that he _really_ wants her back, and Lucas I think he has a chance!" She stared at him expectantly. "What do you think?"

Lucas held his emotions in check as Brooke watched him. "I don't know.." he murmured carefully. "I think that they are both headed in two very different directions right now..."

Brooke scoffed inside. _Yeah Haley's headed in a different direction alright_, she thought bitterly._ The one aimed straight for your bed_. She smiled brightly.

"I don't know, Luke." she said thoughtfully. "You know, Nathan was Haley's first boyfriend, her first love, her first lover...He was a _very_ important part of her life." she schrugged. "I think he has more than a chance, don't you?"

Just then the waiter came by with the bill for their meal saving Lucas from answering. But he didn't have too, Brooke saw it written all over his face. He knew that she had a _very_ valid point. Nathan and Haley _did_ have a very deep history, and it was possible that they _could_ reconnect based solely on that. And Lucas wasn't happy about it. He wasn't happy at all.

As they stood to go and Brooke reached for her purse, she allowed herself a tiny,satisfied smile. It was working. Her plan was up in motion and quickly rolling along like a dark hatred-filled bowling ball.

All she had to do was wait and watch the pin-heads fall.

"Strike one..." she murmured as she followed Lucas through the maze of tightly packed tables. She linked her arm through his and skipped out of the restaurant suddenly feeling better than she had all day. She hummed the tune to _One Sided Love _by Mandy Moore as they waited for a taxi to pick them up but Lucas didn't notice. He was too busy thinking about Haley and Nathan.

And wondering...


	19. If These Stars Could Speak

**Hey guys! I'm sorry but I just _had_ to re-post this after I re-read it and found a ton of mistakes. I also forgot to add that I took an idea from the movie _Win A Date With Tad Hamilton. _For those of you who've seen the movie, it's the smile thing:) Keep reading!**

If These Stars Could Speak

Haley was lying in the hammock in the backyard, staring up at the stars in the dark sky above her. The kitchen window was open and she could hear Peyton and Nathan joking as they washed the dishes together, splashing water on each other as they cleaned. She sighed happily and stretched causing the hammock to sway lazily and she closed her eyes in silent contentment.

She was happy.

For the first time in her life, Haley was more happy than miserable and it felt---great! Her life had seemed so irrevocably, miserable weeks ago, that the happiness she was feeling almost seemed unreal. Only a day ago, it had felt like she would never be happy again and yet...here she was. Deliriously elated. Swinging in a hammock, staring at the night sky. Feeling more than okay. She thought about Brooke and her smile faded a little. Brooke was very far from happy at that moment and as Haley thought about the fact that she would be adding to that unhappiness very soon, her blissful glow dimmed somewhat. She could barely stand the thought of heaping more heartache on top of her friends misery. But then she thought about Lucas's teasing grin, and all other thoughts faded away. Whatever happened, she was in love and Lucas loved her back and that made everything else seem less important. It wouldn't be all kisses and hugs when they told Brooke...In fact it would probably be slaps and curses instead...but eventually it would be okay. It would all work out in the end. As long as Haley and Lucas were together. Her smile slowly widened and she closed her eyes feeling content and at peace.

"Wow, I've really missed that smile."

Haley opened her eyes and stared up at Nathan who stood watching her, a tiny smile playing across his features. She smiled at him.

"What smile?" she asked teasingly.

"Your 'I'm really happy' smile." He grinned at her. "You have about four different smiles you know." he said pointedly.

Haley's eyebrows arched with surprise. "Oh really..." she said

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, there's your 'gee, that's really stupid, please go away' smile and your 'I'm so much smarter than you, but oh well' smile. Then there's your 'I'm really unhappy, somebody save me smile'..." he paused and looked at her. " and of course your 'I'm really happy' smile." He tilted his head at her. "That one was my favorite. I didn't realize how much I missed it..." His voice faded away thoughtfully.

"I've missed you too, Nate." she said softly. He looked away almost shyly and she chuckled.

"You know, it's way too late to be shy with me, I've seen you naked." she pointed out.

Nathan gaped at her before grinning slowly. "That time on the road really did something to you, Haley." he said wonderingly. "It gave you this--this boldness that you never had before. A confidence you never seem to feel no matter what I said to you, or how great the things you did were."

Haley tilted her head at him. "Why do you say that?" she asked curiously.

Nathan arched his eyebrows. "I remember a time when you wouldn't even say the word 'naked' and now...well here we are."

Haley laughed. "You're impressed?" she asked. "Well then, just wait until you hear me say the word 'nude'. You'll freak!"

Nathan laughed and looked down at her. "Hey, you got room for one more?" he asked.

Haley smiled. "But of course. " she said sweetly. She scooted over and Nathan slid in beside her. The hammock swung wildly for a moment and Nathan shifted his body closer to hers until it stopped. They lay there silently, lost in their own thoughts while the stars twinkled brightly at them.

"Did you ever think this would happen?" Haley suddenly asked.

Nathan looked at her. "What?"

"This." she said pointedly. "You and me, lying in a hammock together? Laughing?" She looked at him. "Did you think anything like this would ever happen again?"

Nathan stared up at the sky for a long, silent moment. "No." he finally said, his voice quiet and thoughtful. "But I was really mad at you Haley." He admitted, frowning into the darkness. "Nothing ever hurt me the way you leaving did. That night when I gave you the Anulment papers, I thought that was it...and I didn't care.I didn't want anything to do with you." He looked at her before smiling faintly. "But I'm glad I changed my mind." he said softly.

She smiled back, her throat thick, her eyes burning. "Me too." she said.

Nathan stared up at a star that seemed to be blinking on and off like a slowly winking eye, and frowned as a sudden thought occurred to him. "I'm almost dreading going back to High Flyers next week." he admitted. "I've had such a good time hanging out with you, but it was short. Too short." He stared at her. " I feel like we still have so much to talk about, so much time to make up. Time that we lost when you were gone... and when I was acting like an ass."

Haley nodded slowly. "Yeah." she said softly. "but we have _this_ time, and we've done so much with what little time we've had." She rested her head against his shoulder. "When you get back, at least we'll have a friendship to continue. How awesome would it be to start senior year as friends instead of the enemies that everyone expects?"

Nathan nodded, a smile on his face. "Yeah that would be pretty sweet. It'd be great to knock all of those snooty smiles off of some of those judgemental faces."

Haley grinned. "Hey, most of those snooty faces are your friends." she pointed out. "Let's not forget that sad little fact."

Nathan arched his eyebrows at her wryly. "Hey, they're half your friends. Remember, we shared everything when we were married. As part of the Anulment, you get half of everything...including our friends."

Haley shook her head. "Uh, uh that's okay you can keep all your friends. I only claim Peyton, Brooke and Lucas. About your basketball sweatshirt however--"

"Uh, the sweatshirt that's mine?" Nathan interrupted with a knowing grin.

Haley grinned back at him. "Um, I beg to differ! What about your half 'n' half clause? If it applies to friends, then it applies to clothes and I want my half of that sweatshirt!"

Nathan laughed."You want half of the sweatshirt?"

"Uh, yeah!"

"Hales, what are you going to do with half of a shirt?"

"Sew my ass off!

Nathan chuckled. "Okay, I'll tell you what. You can have the whole sweatshirt all to yourself... for a kiss on the cheek."

Haley stared at him suspiciously. "A kiss on the cheek? That's all you want from me? For the whole sweatshirt?"

Nathan nodded and Haley looked at him pondering what the exchange would cost her. Finally she decided. "Okay." she said easily.

Nathan looked at her in surprise. "Okay! That's it? No argument, I get a kiss--"

"On the cheek..."

"On the cheek, and you get my old Ravens sweatshirt?"

Haley nodded. "You have no idea how I've been missing that shirt! I've been coveting it for months!" she moaned happily. She smiled and gently took hold of Nathan's chin. "The things you do for outerwear..." she mumbled goodnaturedly. She closed her eyes and leaned in but Nathan pulled away from her suddenly. She opened her eyes and looked at him and found him watching her intently. She smiled at him teasingly.

"You getting shy on me, Scott? Or would you prefer the other cheek, because I'm a left cheeker myself incidently. I don't know, it has more of a softness or something--"

She was cut off as Nathan leaned in and kissed her soundly on her lips. She was so taken by surprise that she didn't pull away and Nathan lips molded to hers for a moment in a way that was entirely too familar before he slowly eased back. She stared at him stunned and he grinned at her and gently pinched her chin.

"You had that sweatshirt at hello." he said quoting a scene from Jerry Maguire. Haley stared at him speechless, and his grin widened. They didn't notice the couple standing watching them silently until Brooke spoke.

"Wow.This looks more than a little cozy." she said brightly. Haley jumped startled and stared over Nathan's shoulder. Her eyes locked with Lucas' but it was Brooke who spoke again.

"Do you two want us to leave?...and maybe grab some candles and wine for you on the way out? Or possibly something in the latex family...or something?..." She chuckled huskily as Nathan rolled his eyes at her.

But Haley was only aware of the shocked disbelief...and _damnit!_ hurt radiating from Lucas as he stared at her, his hands buried deep in his pockets before he wordlessly turned and walked back into the house.

Nathan frowned, taken the silence as a slight against him and his evidently unwelcome presence. He slid from the hammock. "I can take a hint." he murmured. He looked at Haley. "I'll call you tomorrow. We can shoot hoops or something. I may even let you win this time."

Haley slowly climbed from the hammock. "Nathan, I don't think--"

"I'll come get you at 10:30, okay?" he smiled "I'll bring your sweatshirt. Oh and pinch Peyton's butt for me, will you? I owe her one." he chuckled and walked around the house and Haley heard his car start up and speed away as she slowly stared at the house.

How in the world was she going to explain to Lucas that what he'd just seen was completely not what it looked like? It was the oldest cliche in the book, he'd never buy it! Heck, she wouldn't buy it! She didn't even know where to begin to explain. Haley ran her hands through her hair and looked at Brooke suddenly remembering her friends trauma earlier that morning. She watched as Brooke replaced her and Nathan in the hammock.

"How was your day?" she asked absently glancing towards the patio doors before turning to give her friend her full attention.

Brooke grinned. "Forget _my_ day!" she said buoyantly. "Yours seems to have gone a whole lot better!"

Haley shook her head. "That really wasn't what it looked like, Brooke." she said. "Nathan was just joking around. I was about to kiss him-- on the cheek but then I...well he..."She paused, feeling flustered."Okay, he kissed me, but it was just a friendly kiss. It was completely innocent. _Really_."

Brooke eyebrows arched doubtfully. "Okay..." she said. "If you say so..."

"I say so."

Brooke schrugged and sighed and Haley looked at her sympathetically. "So how was _your_ day, Brooke? How are you doing?" she asked sincerely.

Brooke sighed. "It was hard." she admitted. Then she smiled softly. "But Lucas made it all better." She looked at Haley. "He always knows what to say...and do. You know?"

Haley nodded slowly, not quite understanding what Brooke was saying."Yeah, he's very supportive..." Haley agreed slowly.

Brooke grinned. "And his hands...oh those wonderful soft, soothing hands of his! Whenever Lucas touches me, I feel so amazing." She closed her eye. "He gives the best massages ever! And it feels so much better when his hands are directly on your skin as opposed to being on your clothes because full contact is always so much better."

Haley frowned. She must not have heard Brooke right. "Lucas gave you a massage...with your shirt off?" she asked.

Brooke dimpled. "Yeah," she said. "In his truck. I'd forgotten how good he was with his hands." She smiled dreamily. "I used to have so much fun with those hands..."she sighed.

Haley had heard enough. "I think I'm going to take a bath." she said turning towards the house. "See you in there."

"Okay..." Brooke called after her. She waited until Haley was in the house before she stopped smiling.

She chuckled instead. "Strike two..." she whispered.

Then she lay back and grinned up at the stars.


	20. The Lying Sleeps Tonight

**Hi faithful readers! I had to re-post this chapter since I re-posted chapter 19 for continuity reasons. It's still mostly the same...just a little better:) Thanks for reading!**

The Lying Sleeps Tonight

Haley slowly lowered herself into the hot frothy water and sighed as the bubbles covered her immersed body. She lay back and stared at the ceiling, her forehead puckered with worry. When she'd walked into the house earlier looking for Lucas, Peyton had quickly told her that Lucas had stormed out of the house saying only that he was going for a ride. Brooke had walked in just then and they had changed the topic of the conversation to calories and how many calories were too much. Brooke had eagerly added her two cents and before long, the three of them were enjoying three full bowls of Fudge D'Lite ice cream. Afterwards, they'd retreated to the living room where they'd watched three consecutive Lifetime movies, each of them yelling at the screen whenever a husband or boyfriend walked out on their wife or girlfriend, and Haley uncomfortable with the irony of it all, had stealthly kept one eye on the front door hoping that Lucas would walk in at any minute, smiling that cute way he did...but he hadn't.

And now it was 2:00 am in the morning and Lucas was still not home.

Haley's frown deepened and she picked up her sponge and ran it slowly down one arm. Where the hell is he? she wondered as she ran the sponge across her throat. As if on cue, she suddenly heard footsteps in the hallway and then the sound of Lucas' bedroom door slowly opening and closing.

She sat up and listened for a moment but she didn't hear him walking to her room and she stood and toweled off quickly before wrapping her robe around her. She crept to her door and listened for a moment before soundlessly opening it and gliding down the hall towards Lucas' room. She held her breath as she tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. She quickly opened the door and walked in, closing and locking it behind her. Lucas who had been removing his shirt turned to stare at her as she leaned back against his door, her eyes wide and hurt.

"Lucas, where have you been?" she said softly. "I've been waiting for you for hours! And I left messages on your cell--"

Lucas stared at her, his eyes angry and pained. "Was that before or after Nathan left?" he accused.

Haley closed her eyes briefly.His tone was cold and detached but he had every right to be angry at her. He didn't know the truth... She walked towards him."Lucas what you saw...what you think you saw...wasn't what it looked like. Nathan kissed me because of a stupid deal we made.I should have just said no but I didn't think. Still, it was completely innocent, I swear!"

Lucas was shaking his head. He threw his shirt in his hamper before turning to face her. "Haley, what I saw was a lot of things but innocent wasn't one of them. You and Nathan..." he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You and Nathan were lying together in my hammock in the middle of the night, kissing!" He frowned at her, his eyes unhappy and confused. "How can you stand here and say that--_that _was innocent?"

Haley reached for him but he pulled away. "Because it was, Luke." she whispered as he ran his hands through his hair. "Nathan kissed _me_. And it _was_ nothing. If anything it showed him that we can have a relationship without being in love." She could see by Lucas' closed expression that he wasn't hearing her and she reached for him and looked into his eyes. "Lucas, I'm in love with _you_! This is going to sound crazy okay but--don't believe your eyes, believe your heart!"

Her eyes filled with tears as Lucas turned to face her, his own unsure as she let go of him and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Hales..." he said softly, his hand reaching for her despite himself. He stopped and shoved it deeply in his pocket as he stared at her. "I saw your face." he said softly. "the way you looked at him...it wasn't just--friendly. There was love there."

Haley stared at him. "Of course there was love there, Luke!" she said. "Nathan was my husband and he was my friend before that so-- yes, I love him! But I'm not _in_ love with him." She reached for Lucas and he didn't move away this time. His eyes searched her face, travelling across her features as she looked at him. "Lucas I love you. I love _you_, okay! You believed that just this morning, what changed since then? Why do you not trust it now?"

Lucas stared at her emotionlessly. "Nathan was your first in everything Haley." he said softly."Your first kiss, your first boyfriend---"

Haley shook her head. "But you were my first love!"

"You realize that now." Lucas pointed out. "You think that, _now_. But back then, Nathan was your world! You gave him your heart,your soul..." he paused and looked into her eyes. "...your body...How can I compete with that?"

"Lucas, you don't have to compete with Nathan!" Haley whispered emotionally. "You don't have to compete with anyone! Why can't you believe that?" They stared at each other silently, Lucas struggling, Haley searching for the reason for his sudden doubt. She paused for a moment as a thought suddenly lept to her mind. Maybe she did know what he was feeling...

She tilted her head, her eyes shining with sudden clarity as their eyes locked.

"Lucas, do you know what Brooke told me this evening?" she asked softly, urgently. "She told me that you gave her a massage today. With her shirt off."

Lucas frowned. "Yeah I did, but she had a bikini top on." he explained. "and when she asked me, she'd had such a hard morning, I didn't know how to say no,and before I could say _anything_ her shirt was off and---"

Haley nodded, smiling. "Luke you don't have to explain.I realized that there must be one--that there had to be an explanation...after awhile." she admitted. "But at first, I was hurt, and angry, and upset." she looked at him. "I thought that maybe you thought you'd made a mistake. That maybe you wanted to be with Brooke afterall."

Lucas shook his head and took her hands in his. "Haley, no." he said softly. "This is not a mistake. _This_ is what always should have been."

Haley nodded, tears sliding down her cheeks. " I know that." she whispered. "I know that _now_. I realized that whatever hapened between you two today, it was innocent because you love me and nothing is going to tear us apart." She looked at him beseechingly. "Do you see?" she asked squeezing his hands. "I don't doubt you anymore Lucas. I don't doubt what we have because it's real! Yes, Nathan was my first in a lot of things, but..." She looked into his eyes at the emotion shining there. "You are my first love. My only love. No matter what, don't ever doubt that...cause I won't."

Lucas stared at her for a moment, his eyes shiny and clear before a soft smile touched his lips. "I won't either." he whispered. "I love you." He slid his arms around her waist and held her and she hugged him tightly. She smiled and pressed her cheek against his shoulder and his lips found the nape of her neck as he said the words again.

"I love you." he whispered. "And I'm sorry for doubting you." he smiled slowly." and I'm so glad you are so much smarter than me."

Haley chuckled and looked at him, her hands on both his cheeks. "I'm not smarter than you." she said. "I'm a girl. I think more, it comes naturally."

Lucas grinned slowly. "Oh really?"

Haley nodded. "Really." she teased.

Lucas laughed. Then he scooped her up into his arms and walked to his bed, slowly lowering her to it. "So little Ms.Thinker...what are your thoughts on this?" he asked as he lowered his face close to hers and pushed the damp hair from her forehead.

Haley tilted her head thoughtfully. "Um, I think...I'll tell you later. After you kiss me." Her smile melted away as Lucas lowered his head to hers and their lips touched. His lips slid against hers, communicating without words the intensity of the emotion he felt for her. Her mouth opened under his and she felt his heartbeat quicken with hers as they pressed against each other wanting to be closer, needing desperately to touch. All other thoughts faded away as the passion that so quickly lit between them, ignited a heat so warm, they could feel each other through their clothes. Haley's fingers found their way to his jeans as he slowly unfastened her robe and kissed a trail from her mouth to her navel and back again. Their lips worked feverishly against each other as their clothes quickly found their way to the floor and their bodies slid together, soft from remnants of Haley's bubble bath. As Haley slowly felt Lucas slide into her, she arched against him and cried into his shoulder and he held her tightly as they started to move together, their breath hot on each other's skin, their bodies straining against each other.

"I love you. Only you, Lucas..." Haley whispered into his ear as he moved against her faster...until they felt like one person. Her nails dug into his back and his lips were on her neck, and her cheek, and her forehead, before they found her lips again and their tongues touched, linking tenderly as they're arms tightened around each other's bodies. Their passion rose as their bodies did, meeting again and again...until their rhythm slowed and was tender and gentle.

Lucas looked into her eyes, his own shining with so much emotion that her heart swelled inside her chest. "How did I get so lucky?" he asked softly, his voice breaking as she caressed his cheek. He was still inside her and she revelled at the feeling of their bodies linked together...just like their souls were.

"I don't know...How?" she teased, kissing his chin, tracing the outline of his jaw with her lips.

Lucas shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. "I don't know...but I am. I'm the luckiest guy in the world." he whispered. He lowered his head to hers and their foreheads touched as the heat between them was ignited again. Their lips met in silent, unified desire and need as they began to move together as one...and they made love again...

* * *

On the other side of Lucas's door, Brooke pressed her hands tightly against her mouth. She did that so she wouldn't scream. Or puke. Eventhough she wanted to do both. Tears streamed down her face as she listened to Haley's stifled cries and Lucas's soft whispers, both of which neither of them tried to hide or cover up despite the late hour...despite the secrecy of what they were doing. Despite the betrayal...

Brooke slid to the floor, her face pale even through her tan, her cheeks wet.

She had been waiting for Lucas to get back home all night. She had caught Haley's attempted surreptitious looks towards the front door while they were watching t.v and she'd been sure that Haley would wait up for him no matter how late he'd get in. She hadn't been disappointed. She'd watched as Haley had left her room and walked into Lucas' and she'd waited for a moment before creeping to Lucas' door herself. She'd listened, barely able to contain her excitement as she waited to hear the fallout from the beginning stages of her plan. Instead, she'd only heard everything that she hadn't wanted to. Lucas and Haley weren't just sneaking around fulfilling some wild desire to be bad. They weren't fooling themselves or wrapped up in some weird world of wishful thinking. They were in love. They were really, truly, irrevocably in love.

Brooke felt sick to her stomach. She swallowed hard as her stomach lurched painfully, willing it's contents to stay put. Suddenly, she heard Haley's voice very close to the door and she silently stood and hurried to her room, sliding the door as close to closed as possible without actually closing it. She watched as Lucas and Haley crept to Haley's room, his arms around her waist, their hands laced together. She glared at them as Lucas turned Haley around and kissed her passionately on her lips.

"Lucas..." Haley moaned. "Don't do this...you're making it hard for me to let you go."

Lucas grinned slowly. "That's the plan..." he whispered kissing her neck. He looked at her, leaning towards her until their noses almost touched. "Sleep with me tonight,Haley." he said pushing her hair from her face. "I'll set my alarm for six. You know Brooke doesn't get up before eight. We'll be up before then."

Haley tilted her head at him. "Luke..." she said softly.

Lucas pouted adorably. "Come on, " he whispered. "I want to hold you tonight, Hales." he kissed her forehead and grinned slowly. "I want to do more things to your body..."

Haley swatted his arm playfully and he caught her hand in his and kissed it tenderly as she watched him.

"You know you want to..." he whispered teasingly.

Haley smiled back, unsure."You know I do." She leaned into him, her forehead against his chest. "But what if Brooke wakes up early? What then?"

"I'll lock my door." Lucas whispered. "We'll start a fire, we'll sneak you out, whatever! Whatever Haley, we'll make it work,okay?" He looked into her eyes. "Sleep with me?" he asked softly.

Haley smiled slowly. She reached for his cheek. "How can I say no to those eyes?" she whispered.

Lucas grinned and scooped her up into his arms. "Let's go to sleep..." he whispered. "in a little while..."

Haley giggled and covered her mouth, glancing towards Brooke's door. Brooke quickly stepped back, out of sight.

"Lucas, no." she giggled."We do actually need to sleep you know."

Lucas' grin widened. "and we will..." he whispered as he carried her back to his room. "Eventually..."

Brooke heard Haley laugh again as they closed the door behind them and she waited for a moment before sliding her door shut as well. She turned and leaned against it, her heart heavier in her chest than ever before, before walking over to the bed she shared with Peyton. As she slid beneath the covers, Peyton moved restlessly beside her.

"Brooke?" she said sleepily. "Are you okay?"

Brooke turned her back to her and curled onto her side.

"No," she whispered. "but I will be.

Peyton squinted at her in the darkness. "What?"

"I said, I'm so sleepy." Brooke whispered. "I'm alright. Go back to bed."

Peyton patted Brooke's head before snuggling deeper into the covers. Brooke waited until her friend's breathing had slowed and was even, before slowly turning to look at her. The moonlight shone through the window highlighting Peyton's blond curls and Brooke frowned at her, her throat sore and full.

"How could you not tell me, Peyton?" she whispered. "How can you lie there sleeping like a baby, when my heart is being ripped to shreds?"

Peytons' faint snore was her only answer and a single tear crept down Brooke's cheek.

"My best-friends have all betrayed me." she whispered wonderingly. "You've all betrayed me." Part of her still couldn't believe it but...there was no guessing anymore. Lucas and Haley had made it glaringly obvious tonight. Her eyes hardened as she stared at Peyton's peaceful face.

"You all hurt me and you'll all pay." she said emotionally."Somehow, I'll make you pay." She watched Peyton angrily for a moment before turning away and closing her eyes.

Then she smiled.


	21. She's So Sick, She's Green

**Here you go, CC. Since you asked so nicely :) **

She's So Sick, She's Green

Peyton smiled and shook her head wryly as she stared at the couple in front of her. Lucas was sitting on the couch reading another one of the novels he loved so much and Haley sat far from him on the other side, writing in her journal but...everytime they looked at each other, Peyton felt like she should cover her eyes or leave the room to give them some privacy. The passion between them was so intense that it almost seemed visible. As Lucas slowly smiled at Haley and she returned his gaze with a wide grin of her own, Peyton looked away and sighed deeply. She was happy for them, really she was.But seeing Lucas and Haley together only reminded her of the short time that she and Jake had had together before Nikki had forced him to leave Treehill to find Jenny. Since he'd left, every hour of every day seemed longer than the one before and the days passed in one colorless blur. Her world seemed lackluster and it was getting harder and harder to get out of bed each morning...

Peyton sighed again and glanced down at the picture she was sketching. On her paper was a picture of a girl with huge round curls encircling her face. She was staring through a padlocked gate at a huge park filled with people laughing and holding hands, smiling widely...shiny happy people. The only person who wasn't smiling was the girl with the curly hair. She was crying and reaching through a gap in the gate, reaching for someone's hand, but nobody was paying attention. Peyton blinked as the girls features slowly came into focus and she realized that the girl was her. Clawing desperately towards the people on the other side...

Frowning, she tore the picture from her sketchbook, crushed it into a ball and threw it on the floor. It hit the couch before landing beside it and Lucas and Haley broke their gaze and looked at her.

"Peyton?.." Haley said worriedly.

Peyton forced a smile to her face. "Damn artist block." she said weakly. "I can't seem to draw any good pics lately." she rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry about that. Don't pay attention to me, I'm just having some random artist histerics that's all. Ignore me."

Lucas frowned. "Peyt...are you really okay?"

Peyton nodded quickly and stood up. "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." she said abruptly. "Hey, I'm going to go check on Brooke. It's 9:30, she's usually up by now. It's late...even for her!" she smiled too brightly and walked out of the room and Haley and Lucas exchanged glances.

"I'm worried about her Luke." Haley whispered. "She has been _really_ down for a while now."

Lucas nodded. "I've noticed." he said thoughtfully. He looked at her. "But what can we do? You and I both know what's making her so unhappy. And neither of us can do anything to make that better. There's only one person that can make Peyton happy right now."

Haley nodded sadly. "But he's gone Luke." she said softly. "Jake's gone and he hasn't tried to contact her at all! It's like he's disappeared off the face of the earth!" She stared at him. "How can we even begin to understand how that feels? How is Peyton ever going to feel better about being abandoned by the person she loves?" Haley bit her lip."I mean, look at what it did to Nathan..."

Lucas stared at his bereft girlfriend. He slid his hand towards hers and she slowly laced her fingers through his gratefully. "It'll be okay, Hales." he whispered. "Somehow, someway this is going to work itself out."

Haley nodded slowly, her eyes hopeful and unsure. They were also shiny with tears and it was all Lucas could do not to take her in his arms and hold her tightly until everything was alright. Haley saw this in his eyes and her grip on his hands tightened.

"I wish you could hold me too." she whispered. Lucas smiled slightly, his eyes travelling over her features and he put her hand to his lips. "Olive Juice." he mouthed silently.

Haley smiled softly. "Olive juice too." she whispered.

Just then Peyton hurried into the room, her eyes wide with concern. "You guys, I think Brooke's sick!" she cried. Lucas and Haley looked at each other and jumped off the couch, following Peyton into her room. Brooke turned slowly as they walked in and smiled weakly.

"Hey guys, what's up?" she asked. Haley's mouth fell open. Brooke's face was pale and her usual smile was gone replaced instead by a faint, ghost of her usual perky grin. They piled by the bed as they stared down at their sick friend.

"Brooke, what happened?" Lucas said feeling her forehead for its temperature before softly touching her cheek and then her throat. "You don't feel warm..." he noted. "What's wrong, what hurts?"

_My heart..._Brooke thought as she closed her eyes briefly before opening them again to stare at her worried friends. "It's just a guess but I'm thinking that the cheese ravioli I had at Bellissimo yesterday had mushrooms in it. In case you didn't know, this is what usually happens when I eat mushrooms...That or a nasty fever---oh, and an ugly rash. Either way, I feel really gross." she joked.

Haley took a deep breath, sighing with relief. "Food poisoning?" she said. "This has happened before then?"

Brooke nodded. "Yes, unfortunately mushrooms are not my friends. Which is actually kind of horrible considering how much I love them." She sighed. "Anyways, it's not serious. All I need is some water and plenty of bedrest till the little suckers find their way out of my system...Oh and possibly some orange juice...And some Natasha Bedingfield...just because that chick absolutely rocks!" She dimpled and Peyton jumped up, smiling dryly.

"Okay, so you want a pop CD and some orange juice." she said. " I think that I can help you with the drink. I'll go get you some Tropicana. Luckily, we just bought a new bottle yesterday."

"And I'll get you some iced water to drink, and that CD--- which I own by the way!" Haley added brightly. "Who would have thought that we had some similar taste in music?" she grinned. "I guess, wonders actually do never seize..." She rubbed Brooke's leg as she stood. "Just sit tight and don't move a muscle okay? We'll take care of you, Tig." They hurried out of the room and Lucas stood slowly.

"I'm sorry Cheery," he said softly. "This has got to suck. Can I get you something? An extra pillow, your Cosmo mag...? I happen to know that you haven't fnished it yet, it's still in the livingroom---" his voice faded as Brooke grabbed his hand.

"No, it's okay." she said softly. "I think that I just want your company. Can you stay with me...for a while?"

Lucas smiled and nodded as she moved over to give him some room. He sat down and she smiled at him, covering his hand with both of her own. On the outside, she looked weak and fragile and barely able to lift her foot, let alone her head.

But on the inside...she was smirking with delight. She didn't have food poisoning and she hadn't eaten any mushrooms. Hell, she wasn't even allergic to them! Peyton's cover-up foundation and some baby oil had helped to give her the pale and clammy look and the fact that she'd covered her face with her pillow and held her breath till she almost couldn't breathe, explained her flushed cheeks. No, she wasn't sick because of mushrooms. She was sick and tired of being made a fool of and she wasn't going to suffer alone. Haley, Lucas and Peyton would join her soon enough.

She sat up slightly, allowing her blanket to slip a little, revealing her ample cleavage and the fact that she wasn't wearing anything but a silky, short slip nightie. As Lucas eyebrows raised slightly, she allowed herself a tiny smile. She leaned forward slightly and her strap fell from her shoulder revealing more skin.

"Hmmm...this suddenly seems like a perfect opportunity to play doctor." she murmured suggestively. "What do you think, Luke? You used to love to check my...pulse..." she grinned seductively.

Lucas smiled wryly and reached for her strap, gently pushing it back onto her shoulder. "Hmmm...sounds interesting. But how about we call a real doctor instead? I really think that maybe we should Brooke, just to be on the safe side..." He reached for his cell phone and Brooke frowned.

"No, Luke!" she said quickly. He paused and looked at her surprised. "We don't have to call a doctor, I've been through this before, and it really isn't serious." She looked at him, desperately. "I promise, I'll be fine in a few hours, there's no need to call a doctor. Really." She put her hand over his. "Please? I really hate hospitals Luke, you know that! They creep me out!"

Lucas paused thoughtfully before closing his phone,. "Okay, we'll wait for a couple of hours." he finally agreed. "But if it gets worse, we're taking you to a hospital. No arguments."

Brooke nodded quickly. "That sounds fair." she said softly. "Thanks, Luke." She slid down beneath the covers and watched him from beneath her lashes. Maybe she was going at this all wrong. Lucas wasn't responding to all her usual moves. Since he was so obviously and sickeningly in love with Haley The Whore, maybe she needed to take another approach. A more...subtle one.

Brooke leaned back tiredly. "I'm so sleepy." she murmured.

Lucas pulled the covers closer to her. "I'll let you sleep then." he said. He patted her shoulder comfortingly. "I'll be nearby if you need me." he said.

She grabbed his hand weakly. "Actually,will you stay with me Luke?" she asked. "Till I feel better?"

Lucas tilted his head. "Sure, I'll stay with you." he said gently."What are friends for?"

_Yeah, keep asking yourself that question, _she thought bitterly_. You obviously don't know the answer. _She smiled slightly. "You promise?" she asked suddenly. She heard the hard edge in her voice and she quickly covered it with a sweet smile.

Lucas didn't seem to notice though as he gently squeezed her hand. "Of course." he said quietly. "I'm sorry you feel so bad Brooke." he said gazing at her intently. "I hate that you're in so much pain. I hate that I...that I can't make you feel better. But I know that you'll be okay. You're one of the strongest people I know. You'll make it through--through this." He smiled at her softly and she tried very hard to pretend that she didn't understand what he was really trying to say to her. She kept her eyes wide and trusting as he watched her. _Just think 'Bambi' _she told herself wordlessly. _Bambi, Bambi, Bambi..._

"Hey, how about I continue reading that book we were reading together the other day?" Lucas suggested. "I'm sure it will have you sleeping in no time!"

Brooke smiled wryly. "That's for darn sure." she agreed.

Lucas chuckled. "I'll go get it." he said standing. "Don't move." he teased as he left the room. Brooke rolled her eyes at him before watching him leave.She thought about the gentle squeeze he'd given her hand before walking out, and she smiled inwardly with satisfaction. Yes, she would change her approach completely. Lucas Scott would be putty in her hands, before she was through with him...and then, well...he'd just be putty.

* * *

"I hope she's going to be okay..." Haley said absently as she rifled through one of her CD cases searching for her Natasha Bedingfield CD. "Do you think that maybe we should call a doctor anyways? I mean, just to be sure? What if it's more than food poisoning?"

Peyton frowned down at the bottle of orange juice that she was slowly pouring into a clear glass. She paused and stared thoughtfully at it for a long moment.

"What do you think?" Haley was asking. She found the CD she was looking for and closed the case. "I know that Brooke hates hospitals but this could be serious right? We can't take risks with her health." When Peyton didn't answer, she glanced at her and caught her thoughtful stare.

"Peyt, what's up? What are you thinking?"

Peyton looked at her confused. "Oh, it's nothing. I was just thinking...I didn't know that Brooke was allergic to mushrooms and we've been friends for years! I could even swear that..."

Haley frowned. "That what?"

Peyton looked at her for a moment and then shrugged and twisted the cover back onto the drink. "I don't know. I'm almost positive I'm seen Brooke eat mushrooms before and she's never gotten sick from them, as far as I remember... but then, she wouldn't lie." Peyton shook her head wonderingly. "How could I have missed that fact about my best-friend? I mean have I been so self-involved? I'm almost positive that I 've even served her stuffed mushrooms for dinner before!"

Haley smiled comfortingly. "Peyton, just because you and Brooke are BFF's doesn't mean you two know every little detail and fact about one another. It's impossible! And guess what? It's okay, I promise." She chuckled and Peyton smiled slowly.

"I know...you're right." she said. But inside she was still wondering about the fact that she'd missed something relatively small but ultimately important about her friend. Brooke knew that _she_ was allergic to strawberries and pumpkin and that cantalopes made her sneeze so hard, she couldn't breathe. How could she not know that her friend had food allergies too? It just seemed really...strange. She frowned and picked up the glasses of orange juice and water and followed Haley back into the room. Brooke was lying on her side staring soulfully at Lucas as he read from the novel he'd been reading earlier and Peyton's heart fell at the sight. It was obvious that Brooke was still carrying a majorly burning torch for Lucas and knowing that Lucas didn't return Brooke's feelings, made her feel more than horrible. Despite how much she knew that Haley and Lucas loved each other, everyday she felt more and more like she was helping to hide a crime. They really had to tell Brooke the truth soon. The longer they waited, the more Brooke's heart would shatter when they finally told her and Peyton wasn't sure if she wanted that day to be sooner rather than later but for Brooke's sake, the sooner, the better.

She set Brooke's glass down beside her and sat beside her friend, feeling even worse than she had that morning. Brooke saw her frown.

"What's wrong Sigh Girl?" she asked as Haley set a CD player down on the bureau beside her. "You look almost as pale as I do."

Peyton smiled faintly. "I just hope...that you'll be okay. " she said anxiously. "I want you to be alright."

Brooke nodded reassuredly. "I will be Peyton. Look, I already feel so much better. It helps to have you guys around. God knows that if I was home, I wouldn't be getting even a third of _half_ of this attention..." She smiled at her three friends and tilted her head. "You guys are such _great_ friends. I am so lucky to have you all in my life." Brooke watched as they all averted their eyes, and her smile curled bitterly. _Yeah with friends like you, I really don't need enemies..._"Anyways, you all don't have to stay here with me. I don't want to ruin your day."

Peyton shook her head. "Oh, you're not---"

"Besides, Lucas said that he'll keep me company until I feel better and I won't if you're _all_ hovering over me, so I love you but--go away okay?" She smiled sincerely, but they didn't move. "Really, guys, go do what you already planned to do. I'll feel so much better knowing that at least _someone_ is having fun."

Haley stole a glance at Lucas. She'd suddenly remembered her plan for that morning--a plan that she needed to talk to him about before said _plan_ showed up. She bit her lip anxiously.

"Umm, Luke can I steal you away for a minute?" she said deliberately casual, but Brooke grabbed his hand as he stood.

"Uh, uh, uh..." she said coyly. "Lucas is mine for the entire day! He promised not to leave my side till I feel better and I'm gonna hold him to it!"

Haley looked at him. "I just need him for a minute Brooke. He'll be right back, I promise."

Brooke shook her head. "No way, Jose. I know you two. All you need is a minute to get into one of your dramatically-deep conversations and everyone else seizes to exist! No, Luke is mine for the day so you two, shoo! Go play, I insist!"

Peyton was unsure. "And you're sure you don't need me?"

Haley nodded absently, trying to figure out a way to get Lucas alone without arousing suspicion. "Yeah, I can stay if you..."

Brooke was shaking her head. "No, it's okay. Go have fun. Do--something! Anything, for me okay?" she looked at Haley. "Hey, don't you have plans anyways? Weren't you supposed to go out with Nathan or something?"

Lucas and Haley's eyes locked for a moment before he looked away, breaking their gaze first and Haley nodded slowly."Well, yes but--"

"No buts." Brooke said firmly. "I will not be the reason you lose out on a chance to reconnect with your ex, so...go. Have fun and please do things that I would do!" she pleaded.

"Listen to her Haley." An amused voice said from the doorway. "The girl knows what she's talking about."

Four pairs of eyes turned to the bedroom door where Nathan leaned casually, a basket ball in his hands. "Hey." he said grinning widely. "I'm here to kidnap Haley...you know, to ravish her and what-not..." He winked at Haley, suddenly noticing Brooke lying down on the bed, completely surrounded. His grin faded slightly. "What's going on?"

As Haley slowly turned to stare at Lucas' unhappy frown, she cringed inwardly. _Too much is going on Nathan,_ she thought. _Too damn much._


	22. Love and Basketball

**Hey, those who are still reading! Sorry it's taken so long to UD, but Life happens! Still, I'll _try_ to UD more frequently, k? Notice I said _try..._:)**

* * *

Love and Basketball

The room was as silent as a library run by celibate monks. Nathan surveyed them curiously.

"Hello..." he said into his basketball. "Is this thing on? I asked, what's going on? What's wrong?"

It was Peyton who finally spoke. She smiled uneasily and hopped off the bed. "Brooke's sick. Food poisoning." she offered.

Nathan shook his head. "Bummer."

Brooke frowned. "Yeah, I can hear the pity in your voice." she said sarcastically."Try not to cry..."

Nathan ignored her and looked at Haley. "Are you ready?" he asked tossing the ball between his hands. "I just drove by the court and it is completely empty. We'll have it all to ourselves."

Haley stared at him, torn. On the one hand, she wanted to go. She absolutely loved that her and Nathan were becoming friends. She wanted to have a friendship with him again so much, it had become an ache inside her. It was something that she hadn't even dreamed would happen and the fact that it was, filled her with so much hope and anxiety, that it was all she could do not to hold her breath and wait. It felt like the pain that they'd bounced off each other ever since she'd returned to TreeHill was finally fading away into nonexistence. But on the other hand--

Her argument with Lucas was still very fresh on her mind and very much a stressful part of her reality. He obviously had insecurities where Nathan was concerned and she'd wanted to talk to him about it some more after they'd made up the night before. She'd wanted him to know that she intended to rebuild her friendship with Nathan...no matter what. For all their sakes.

But she'd completely forgotten. Lucas hands had a strange way of making her forget everything but his name. Still, she'd wanted to let Lucas know about her plans the next day ahead of time so that he wouldn't be surprised when Nathan came by but...it was more than too late. Nathan was here in all his suggestive, arrogant glory unknowingly making a potentially volatile situation even worse. And there was no way she could talk to Lucas and explain or even just look into his eyes to let him know that things would never change, that she just _needed_ this. She was sure that after the previous night, after they'd shared their feelings with their words and their bodies, that he would understand but...she wanted to hear him say the words...or at least smile. She glanced at him. At that moment there was no smile on his face, and he was staring everywhere but at her. He was definitely not happy.She felt tense and unsure and she wondered what she should do...

Nathan's eyebrows raised uncertainly. "Haley...?" he said.

Haley looked at him and made a sudden decision. She didn't know what the right decision was, but she knew which decision she would make. She trusted Lucas, and she knew that he trusted her--she hoped he did... But she couldn't let Nathan down again, especially with their growing bond being so new and fragile. She would never purposely hurt him again. He would definitely be broken when he found out about her and Lucas and she wanted to be his friend again first, before they told him.She knew that she was being somewhat selfish, but she wanted the connection between them to be so strong that he wouldn't want to let their friendship go without a fight. By then he'd want her in his life too much to let her go. She needed to rebuild with him now...so that he'd forgive her later. And Lucas would just have to understand that and deal with it.

And it _was_ just a couple of hours of basketball...

Taking a deep breath, she smiled brightly. "Ready to get your ass whupped?" she asked.

Nathan grinned. "In your dreams."

"Nuh uh, in yours." Haley said feeling like a fourth grader.

Nathan's grin widened slyly. "Every night baby..."

Haley rolled her eyes and looked at Brooke. "Feel better, okay?" she said.

Brooke smiled and winked at her. "I will if you will." she teased.

Haley tilted her head goodnaturedly before looking at Lucas. "Talk to you guys later." She said hoping that he would catch the meaning behind her words. He smiled faintly and nodded once before looking down at his book and continuing to read, ignoring Nathan entirely. Peyton smiled at her sympathetically and she turned and followed Nathan from the room and walked into hers. She couldn't read what Lucas was thinking...but he hadn't seemed _too_ angry at her. Maybe unhappy...but not--angry. And that was...something.

She took a deep breath and plopped unto her bed. She'd talk to him later. Right now she needed to concentrate on Nathan...and the major shame she intended to heap on him on the court. He may be the star on most of the other courts he played on but on the River court, she had an advantage because she knew his weakness...and she had two of them firmly planted down below her collarbone. She grinned at the thought and looked at him as she pulled her sneakers on, catching him watching her closely. She frowned.

"What? Have I grown another mouth or something?" she asked.

"Don't I wish!" Nathan chuckled. "No, I was thinking about the first time I taught you how to shoot hoops." he smiled. "You looked so helpless and lost..." he paused. "That Haley's long gone isn't she?" He seemed vaguely sad and she stood and smiled at him nodding slowly.

"Yeah, she is..." she agreed. " but her replacement isn't _too_ different...and she likes the new Nathan. A lot." They smiled at each other for a moment. Then she grinned suddenly.

"Do you want to meet her?"

Nathan frowned, confused. "What?"

"Do you want to meet the new Haley?"

Nathan tilted his head wryly. "Haley..."

Impulsively, she stuck out her hand. "Hi, I'm Haley James, nice to meet you.What's your name?"

Nathan chuckled. "This. Is corny..." he muttered below his breath.

"Come on...humor me." she said looking at him pointedly. She thrust her hand out in front of him again and he sighed loudly before taking her hand and shaking it firmly between both of his.

"Hi, Haley. I'm Nathan Scott. Nice to meet you too...You're really hot."

Haley rolled her eyes and hit his arm. "Wow, new Nate isn't that much different from old Nate is he?" Nathan chuckled and she grabbed the ball from his hands. "Okay..." she said determindly. "Let's go play ball so that I can beat your ass! You need it!"

Nathan laughed. "As long as you promise to be gentle." he said suggestively. He moved so that she could walk ahead of him. "Ladies first." he said gallantly. She arched her eyebrows, surprised at the gesture and sauntered pass him. But that's where his etiquette ended. His eyes were on her butt the entire walk to his car...

* * *

"Peyton, I'm serious. Puh-lease go do something! You're hovering again!" Brooke pleaded for what had to be the eighth time that morning. She tilted her head back and looked into her friend's eyes. "I promise that I'm okay...Really. Quit hovering!" 

Peyton paused behind her friend's head where she was layering pillows. "I am hovering, aren't I?" she said slowly. She couldn't help it. Her guilt over not telling her friend the real reason why Lucas wasn't with her, added to her sympathy over Brooke's parents divorce, _plus_ her ignorance concerning Brooke's allergies was making it very hard for her to abandon her friend. She felt like she would never be able to make it up to Brooke and her thoughts were overiding her usual calm demeanor. She took a deep breath and poked at one last pillow before stepping away. "Okay, that was my last hover, I swear. " Peyton said dropping her hands to her sides. "As soon as Lucas gets back, I'm outta here."

Brooke smiled. "You promise?"

Peyton nodded wryly. "Yes...but only if you get some rest. Now is not the time to put the famous Davis moves on him, B."

Brooke's smile grew. "So you _do_ know the real reason behind my loud 'Get Gone's!'"

Peyton frowned amicably. "Brooke, you've been using that strategy since the sixth grade!" she admonished. "Luckily they never worked on me, remember Cade Harris at your sweet 14 party?"

Brooke giggled. "How could I not? He was so eager, my hair got tangled in his braces, remember?"

"How could I forget? _I_ had to untangle him!" Peyton chuckled. "That was probably the most embarassing thing that happened to me during our growing years! Do you know that he never looked me in the eye again after that night?... and after I cut my fingers in his metal-mouth and everything!"

Brooke looked at her incredulously. "Hey, you were the lucky one, he only made you bleed! At least he didn't slobber all over you! I took three showers that night!"

They burst into laughter and Lucas stared at them bemused as he walked back into the room.

"What did I miss? " he asked curiously, his hands deep in his pockets. Peyton noticed his hunched shoulders and the tightness around his eyes, a sure sign that his mind was more on Haley and Nathan activities than her and Brooke's conversation. A rush of compassion threatened to edge it's way into her chest, until she remembered the awful position that his and Haley's secret had put her in. The feeling ebbed away as she looked at him.

"Nothing, except that I was just leaving." she said turning to look at Brooke. She leaned in and kissed her friend's cheek. "Bye B."

Brooke smiled and winked. "Bye." _Judas..._she thought silently. For a moment there...well, she'd almost forgotten. For a moment, it had felt just like old times. For one, long moment...but now it was gone.

"Call me or whatever if you need me. I'll be at TRIC. Karen moved the opening to a week before school starts since she'll be back by then. The theme's going to be _The All-Nighter._ The club's going to be rockin' all night long. It's going to be sick!" Peyton looked at her. "Get better soon, so you can help me plan it, okay? I could really use your input."

Brooke saluted her. "Of course P. Sawyer! You know it wouldn't be a kick-ass party without my input!" _Whatever, I hope it bombs..._

Peyton rolled her eyes amicably. "You know it!" She winked and turned to walk past Lucas and their eyes met briefly. She stared at him meaningfully, willing him to read her thoughts._Don't hurt her more than she already is, _she thought. _Whatever you do, take care of her heart now..._

Lucas eyes shone with understanding. He smiled at her. "I'll see you later, Peyt." Inside, he thought _don't worry, everything will work out._ Peyton nodded quickly and left the room. They heard the front-door screen open and slam shut behind her. Brooke smiled up at him.

"Alone at last." she said huskily. She patted the bed beside her, motioning for him to sit down but he sat down on the old, oak chest at the foot of the bed instead.

"So what were you guys laughing about?" he asked lightly. Inside, Brooke fumed at his obvious rejection but she smiled cheerfully.

"We were just reminiscing...you know...like you and Haley do. Best-friend stuff." She noticed Lucas look away when she said Haley's name and she grinned inwardly.

"Speaking of which...I wonder what Haley and Nate are up to right now..." she wondered absently.

Lucas smiled nonchalantly...too nonchalantly. "Nate's probably mopping the courts with her." he said. "Haley's never been that great with a basketball...or any ball really."

_Bet she's great with yours..._Brooke frowned. "Really? But she was so eager to go play with Nate. I figured that maybe she'd gotten better..." she schrugged. "Oh well, I doubt that they're still at the courts anyways what with Nate's plans for later and all..."

Lucas frowned. He didn't even try to hide the disconcerted look on his face as he stared at her. "What plans?" he asked shortly.

Brooke smiled absently, fixing the pillows behind her head. "Oh, Nate called me last night for my advice on Haley's favorite foods." she said distantly. "He's going to take her back to his house and surprise her with a picnic lunch." She smiled slowly. "Who knows? Maybe one thing will lead to another... and then another!" she laughed. "Hey, if I remember the countless hours those two used to spend holed up in their apartment..." she shook her head."Haley might not even come home tonight at all!" She grinned suggestively at Lucas. "Here's hoping..." she said winking. She laughed again.

But this time, it was at Lucas expression. Despite the humor in her voice, Lucas was far from amused. In fact, he wasn't happy at all. He wasn't even smiling. Behind Lucas Scott's tight frown was a world of barely contained misery, and that fact made Brooke _very_, very happy. And relieved.

It looked like her plan wasn't dead in the water afterall. It was very much alive and kicking up a storm. A _perfect _storm. It wouldn't be too long before Lucas and Haley's happy little dream world crashed and burned at their feet in all its miserable glory.

No, it wouldn't be too long now...


	23. To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern

Haley stared at Nathan across the checkered blanket they were sitting on with barely concealed confusion. He looked up and caught her watching him.

"What?" he asked somewhat nervously. "Is the wine warm? Or is it the bread? It is kind of cool--?"

"Nathan, no!" Haley said quickly. "It's fine. It's all fine...I just--didn't expect this that's all."

Nathan smiled sheepishly. "It's too much, huh?"

Haley held up her fingers, thumb and index finger hovering millimeters apart, confirming his suspicions. "Just a smidge." she admitted.

They were sitting on a white and red checkered blanket in his backyard. A huge white tent hovered above shielding them from the sun's hot rays and matching white and red pillows were heaped around them for their added comfort. Six beautiful vases stood on either side of them filled with red and white roses. And that was just their surroundings. On the blanket, everyone of Haley's favorite foods from her beloved tuna casserole and french bread, to her favorite chocolate-chip and toffee pudding sat on shiny crystal plates and bowls, and a bottle of white wine sat cooling in a ice-filled silver bucket between them. Nathan had planned a very elaborate, _ultra _romantic picnic for them and at any other time, Haley would have been very impressed. Right then however, she was feeling very overwhelmed and awkward. Deeply touched...but overwhelmed and ackward just the same.

Nathan saw the look in her eye and shook his head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this---

"Nathan, no, it's beautiful it is..."

Nathan looked at her knowingly. "Then why do you look like you want to bolt for the nearest exit?"

Haley tilted her head. "Nate, I do not want to bolt, I'm just...well, I'm a little confused." She looked at him, searching his face."Why did you do all this for me?" she asked.

Nathan smiled slowly. "Because...well-- you're you." he said simply. "And I wanted to do something for you. To show you how happy I am that we're becoming friends again." He grinned sheepishly. "I know, lame right?"

Haley shook her head, her eyes shiny, her smile soft. "No, not lame...sweet.Very sweet." She smiled at him. "You are so awesome Nathan Scott." She looked at the beautiful display around them and shook her head. "But you don't need to do all this for me." She looked at him. "All I want is your friendship, Nate. And..." she paused. "I want you to trust me again. I want that guarded look that you always have around me now, to go away."

Nathan frowned at her. "What guarded look?"

Haley smiled wryly. "The one you have on your face right now." she said gently. She looked at him intently. "I understand why it's there, Nate. I know I hurt you pretty badly. But I want us to start over. I want you to _really_ see me as your friend again, to know you can tell me anything and say anything and act any way! And know that I'll still be here." She met his eyes, hoping that he'd see her sincerity, willing him to believe her. He stared at her for a long moment before looking away.

"I will Hales." he finally said slowly. "I'll get to that place. Eventually. But right now, all I can do is try." He looked at her smiling wryly. "I guess that maybe I tried a little too hard today but.." he grinned. "I'll get there."

Haley swallowed against the lump in her throat before nodding quickly. She knew that he was trying, that he wanted to get back to where they used to be way before they had the same last name but...she couldn't help but wish that he already trusted her. That everything was already completely okay between them and they could move on from there. She wished that it could be that easy but she knew that was impossible. She and Nathan would eventually become real friends again. But it would take some time. Time that she wasn't sure she had. Lucas would be telling Brooke about their relationship any day now and she had hoped that her and Nathan would recapture the bond they used to have, before then. Now...she wasn't so sure that that would be happening anytime soon and that realization filled her with a strong sense of foreboding. She shook herself from her thoughts and ate a spoonful of pudding, sighing as it slid luxiouriously across her tongue.

"Good?" Nathan smiled.

"Great..." Haley whispered blissfully. She picked up the bowl of pudding and leaned comfortably back against the pillows. She watched him over the top of the bowl as he sat back, chewing thoughtfully on a piece of bread.

"What are you thinking?" Haley asked curiously before heaping another spoonful of pudding into her mouth.

Nathan looked at her a faint smile playing across his mouth as he swallowed the last of his bread. "I was thinking that I'm not going to miss HighFlyers that much after all."

Haley frowned as his words slowly registered. She sat up. "Nate...what do you mean? What are you saying?" she asked uncertainly.

Nathan's grin widened. "I'm saying that I'm not going to miss HighFlyers...at least as much as they'll miss me of course." he added.

Haley's frown deepened. "Nathan...are you telling me that you're dropping out of High Flyers?"

"I'm telling you I _already _dropped out of the remainder of High Flyers." Nathan corrected her. "I decided that I wanted to spend the rest of the summer here. Hanging out. With my...friends..."

Haley grinned slowly. She didn't know if she should strangle him or hug him, but the fact was... she was happy! With Nate in TreeHill for the last few weeks of summer, they could mend ever last gash in their re-growing friendship! And she could start talking to him about Lucas again and then maybe _they'd _reconnect too. And then maybe telling Nathan about their relationship wouldn't be so bad because by then, they'd all be close again and their bond would be tighter than it had ever been and then---

"Haley? Haley, are you still with me?"

Haley snapped from her thoughts and focused on Nathan who was watching her curiously. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I didn't think my news would hit you so hard...although I knew you'd be ecstatic." he smiled confidently. "I mean, what girl wouldn't?"

Haley threw a pillow at him and shook her head as he caught it effortlessly and lay it behind him. Her smile wilted somewhat though as she suddenly realized the full meaning of Nathan's decision. She looked at him, her eybrows raised slightly.

"Nate...are you sure?" she asked him softly. "I mean, dropping out of High Flyers and all..." she looked intently into his eyes. "Are you sure this is what you really want to do?"

Nathan nodded slowly, his eyes clear with the knowledge of his decision, his smile carefree. "Yeah. I've learned a lot at HF and I intend to learn more next summer. But this summer, I need to be here." he looked at her. "This past year has been hard and I think that it's important that I stay here. I want to be here with you, and Peyton, and Brooke."

Haley's smiled faded somewhat. "And Lucas? " she said hesitantly.

Nathan looked away. "I don't think so Haley."

Haley sighed. "Nate---"

"Look," he interrupted." let's take things step by step okay? As they come..."

Haley shook her head. "That won't work Nate--"

"Sure it will." he said."Look, I'm not saying Lucas and I...well, I'm not saying _never_ okay? I'm just saying not _now_."

Haley bit her lip. "But maybe...?" she left the question open, hoping he'd answer it with _soon_ or even _eventually._ But Nathan just smiled.

"I guess some things will never change." he mused thoughtfully. " You will always be the Scott Brothers' mediator. The go-between. The peacemaker. The cheerleader. The second thing we have in common..."

Haley smiled disconcerted. _If only you knew, Nate_. she thought. Nathan caught her troubled smile and reached across the blanket for her hand.

"Hey, it's going to be okay." he comforted her. " I think that everything will work out eventually. I mean, look at us!...Who would have thought huh?"

Haley had to smile at that. "Yeah, who would have thought.." she agreed. "The prince and the tutor." she marvelled.

Nathan smiled softly. "No, more like the angel and the idiot." he said.

Haley tilted her head. "I'm no angel Nate." she said softly. "You more than anyone, knows that."

Nathan looked at her. "You've got that one wrong Hales." he said sweetly. "Because you are as close to an angel on earth than anyone I've ever met." Haley looked down into her pudding, her cheeks warm and Nathan chuckled. "Now who's shy?" he teased referring to their conversation on the hammock the night before.

Haley wisely chose not to comment. Instead she lay back on the pillows and ate the last spoonful of pudding. "Thank you, Nate." she said gazing into her empty bowl, not quite meeting his eyes. "That was probably the nicest thing that anyone has every said to me."

Nathan looked at her. "I have more. " he said quietly. "I have a small collection of things that I never got to say to you before you left, things I always wanted to say..." he smiled at her. "and that was one of them."

Haley stared at him, surprise filling her eyes along with unshed tears.She couldn't believe that he'd shared that with her! It was something private that he must have held close to his heart for months after she'd left him. Something no one else knew. And he'd shared it with her without holding back. She searched his eyes, expectantly. The guarded look...it was gone. He had finally let it go. He'd decided to trully let her in.Her heart felt like it was growing inside her chest. She grinned slowly as their eyes met.

"So..." she asked happily."Anything else you'd like to say? Any other compliments or observations about how awesome I am?"

Nathan grinned. "Well..." he said slowly. "I am really glad about some of your recent choices..." He paused and Haley leaned forward expectantly. "I'm really glad that you _finally _got rid of that ugly shawl you used to wear all the time! Did you throw it out? Or did you burn it to end it's evil legacy of anti-fashion? Because that thing was an eyesore--no, more like a gaping pus-filled wound! I mean it was really, _really _ugly! I hated that thing---" He was cut off as Haley picked up a pillow and threw it at his head. Then she threw some more...

* * *

Brooke lay sprawled in bed, humming happily to herself. A wide grin slowly spread across her face as she thought about the troubled look that had been on Lucas's face before he had abruptly excused himself to take a shower. _Not even a hundred showers are going to erase the image you probably have fading in and out of your thoughts right now Broody boy,_she thought smugly. _Not even a hundred..._ She chuckled, feeling very much like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland, when the doorbell rang. Frowning, she sat up slowly. 

"Lucas?" she called out. But she could faintly hear his shower going indicating that he was still in there...which left only her to answer the door. Groaning with irritation, she hopped out of bed and wrapped herself in her silky shortie robe before walking into the kitchen. She peeked through the blinds on the door and found herself looking into the eyes of the mailman standing there. He smiled tightly, impatient and she sighed and unlocked the door.

"Yes?" she asked tying her robe around her waist. She saw the mailman's gaze drop to her exposed legs and she shifted partly behind the door,fixing an icy glare on the young man. She was in _no_ mood for this. "Is there something you needed?" she asked pointedly glancing at the thick sheaf of mail he held in one hand.

"Uh--yeah.." the young man said flustered. He held out the thick sheaf of envelopes for her to hold before reaching into his bag and grabbing another thick bundle of envelopes.

Brooke stared down at the blank envelopes she was holding."Umm, and these are for...?" she asked.

The mailman blushed."Oh I'm sorry, I just assumed you lived here because--that is I thought maybe you were the lady of the house because--um..." His voice faded embarassed as Brooke raised her eyebrows at him impatiently. He cleared his hroat. "Are you Peyton Sawyer?"

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Hardly..." she muttered.

The mailman frowned. "But her information here says that this is her temporary forwarding address..."

Brooke sighed. "That's because it is. Peyton Sawyer is living here temporarily. Are these all hers?"

The mailman nodded obviously relieved and very eager to retreat. He handed the rest of the letters to her before offering her a clipboard to sign. "Sorry about the confusion. The post office has been receiving letters for Ms. Sawyer for several weeks now but her forwarding address was misplaced and until recently these letters were kept at the office until we found her address--or yours I guess um...so I rushed right over in order to get these letters to her. There are no return addresses on any of them so I--that is we---figure that they are all from the same person.." The mailman's voice faded as he realized that Brooke had finished signing and was staring at him like he was the remnants on the tissue of someone with a very bad cold. He blushed again and started to back away.

"Well, thanks for your patience! Please give Ms. Sawyer our heartfelt regrets, and uh... we will try not to keep her mail in the future." he chuckled ackwardly and Brooke smiled insincerely and nodded as she began to close the door.

"Will do." she said before closing and locking the door in his face. She shook her head. "What is it about the post office and lunatics?" she thought wonderingly. She let out a deep breath. "Whatever..." She started back for her room, leafing through Peyton's letters as she sauntered in. She was halfway to the bed when she stopped, frozen to the spot. Every single one of the letters had no return address but there was a tiny guitar drawn on the back of every single one. A plain acoustic guitar...much like the one that Jake owned. Brooke's eyes slowly widened as she carefully opened an envelope. Inside was a single piece of paper that was written on both sides from top to bottom. She sank to her bed as she read...

_Hey you, it's me again. What is this my forty-fourth letter? Yeah, I know, I know no forwarding address again which means you don't know where I am and you can't come find me. But even if it doesn't feel like it right now, I know that it's for the best. Nikki might have people in Tree Hill waching for me or spying on you, waiting for some form of contact to see if I'm gaining on her. And I am Peyton! I met a guy at a restaurant yesterday who told me that a woman with a baby matching Nikki and Jenny's description were eating two tables from where I was sitting just two days ago! I'm closing in on them Peyt, I can feel it! I'll have Jenny soon and then I'll be back in Tree Hill and we can finally be together and I can hold you again. God, I want to hold you so much! Every night, that thought gets me to sleep. Being beside you, touching you, looking into your eyes. I miss you Peyton, so much but I love you even more than that and that's why I can't come back until I have Jenny with me. Until I know that Nikki will never get her hands on her again. When that day comes, I'll be right back beside you as soon as I can. And then I'll never leave it. I'll never you again Peyton. As soon as----_

"What's that?"

Brooke jumped as Lucas walked into the room, a towel hanging loosely around his neck. Brooke smiled quickly, discreetly elbowing the rest of the envelopes under the sheet beside her.

"Oh, it's nothing just a letter from my parents, you know _we're sorry_ this and_ do you want a new car_ that...you know random buying-back-my-love kind of crap."

Lucas smiled sympathetically. He touched her hair. "I'm sorry Cheery." he said sincerely. "Can I do anything?"

Brooke sighed. "Can you get me new parents?" she asked glibly. Lucas chuckled and ran a ran through her hair and she closed her eyes and let herself be comforted...for a moment. Then she remembered the letters hiding two feet from her ass and her eyes shot open.

"Actually, I could _really _use a Diet Coke right now..." she looked up into his eyes, smiling hopefully. "Could you...?"

Lucas suddenly frowned intently. "I could..." he said thoughtfully. "but I won't." He didn't move and Brooke's smile faded slightly as she looked at him. Had he heard the mailman? Was it possible that he knew...?

But then Lucas chuckled. "Brooke, I was joking! You should see your face right now!...You know maybe you should lay off those diet Coke's after all..."

Brooke smiled relieved as he turned and left the room, chuckling. "Ass!" she called after him. His only answer was amused laughter and she took a deep breath and quickly scooped the letters in her hand. She turned and surveyed the room, her eyes stopping on Karen's oak chest. She hurried to it and opened it, shoving what seemed like hundred of albums aside before she dumped all the letters in. She quickly covered them with the albums and closed the chest before abruptly sitting on it...just as Lucas walked back into the room holding a glass.

"Here you go, madame. One ice-cold disgusting, tasteless drink just for you."

Brooke smiled calmly, belying the fact that her heart was going faster than the Energizer bunny on speed."Thanks Luke." she said gratefully taking a well-needed sip.

Lucas stared curiously at the chest she was sitting on. "So...was the bed too...soft?" he asked pointedly. "You needed to find something particularly uncomfortable to sit on in order to be...comfortable?"

Brooke smiled and stood slowly walking to the bed to sit beside him. "Actually, I was just looking at a picture of you in junior high...wondering how I never noticed you."

Lucas grinned. "Yeah, well...we hung with different people back then. It was a different time." He looked at her. "And hey, look at us now." He put an arm her and hugged her briefly letting her go just as smoothly, but she turned into him and put her arms around him before he could let go,pressing against him ever so slightly.

"Yeah, look at us now." she whispered into his neck. She felt Lucas grow tense and she let go and smiled brightly at him. "I'm so glad we're friends now, Luke." she said lightly, her voice sweet and sincere. "I'm glad you're part of my life, you know?"Lucas looked confused and she smiled inwardly. _That's right Lucas, I just want to be your friend, don't you believe me? Look at my sweet innocent smile and believe me. Believe..._ She smiled again and stood slowly stretching.

"Mmm, you smell good." she said turning to pick up a towel from a mound of freshly washed ones on the dresser. "My turn. I'll be in the shower if you need me, 'kay?" Before he could answer, she turned and swept from the room. She smiled again as she walked into Haley's bathroom, the one they'd all decided the girls would share and closed the door behind her. _Davis, you are too good..._ she thought, turning on the shower. _Operation Confuse, Divide and Destroy_ _just keeps getting better and better_...

She smirked as she stripped, but when she climbed in, Peyton's pain-filled face suddenly flooded her thoughts. She felt a sudden ache inside her chest and she closed her eyes and turned her face towards the pressurized spray of the water. Peyton was hurting so much! She was moments away from losing all hope that she'd ever see Jake again, and Brooke could make all of her pain disappear with just one phone call. One phone call would let her know that everything was okay with Jake and that he _did _love her. That he loved her so much, he'd practically written her a letter for everyday he'd been gone! One phone call would put an end to all of the nights that Peyton cried into her pillow when she thought that Brooke was asleep, just one...

Brooke felt a sting behind her eyes as her own tears threatened to fall, but she turned away from the water and reached for her sponge feeling her heart harden inside her chest with firm resolve. She couldn't change her mind now. Not when things were finally beginning to fall into place and definitely not when she was still feeling so much hurt. No, she was still suffering, and she refused to do it alone. Lucas, Haley, and Peyton would suffer right along with her before the summer was through. And when they were all feeling as low as she was, when they all knew how it felt to be lied to and betrayed-- then and only then would she feel better. Only then would she feel like everything was okay again...Only then and not one moment before. They'd all be even then.

Heck, Peyton might even get her letters!

Maybe...


	24. Sleep Tight, Don't Let the Brooke Bite

Sleep Tight, Don't Let the Brooke Bite

Haley slowly waved as Nathan drove away. Had anyone pulled her aside a month ago and described the afternoon that she'd just had to her in detail and then told her she'd actually live it, she would have kicked them...after laughing in their face. She would not have believed it at all! But...it had really happened.Her and Nathan had literally talked for hours.

After she'd stopped pummeling him with pillows, they'd started talking--about everything! Nathan had opened up to her in a way she'd never thought he would again and she'd been a little overwhelmed at first, but then she'd seen the sincerity in his eyes...and the cautious trust. And before she'd realized it, it was four o'clock. They'd both lost track of the time, lost in the intensity of their conversation and they probably should have felt ackward and embarassed with one another...but they didn't. Haley could see the ease and familiarity that she felt, reflected in Nathan's eyes. They had finally gotten back to a place where they could look into each other's eyes and not see any anger and pain lurking there. Haley had never thought that she'd ever share another meal with Nathan, let alone a _smile_. And the realization that she had, that her and Nathan were actually becoming friends again, made her feel happier than she had in a long while. Everything and anything seemed possible suddenly and life was almost beautiful again. Almost.

Haley's smile dimmed slightly as she turned to the house and walked in. She closed the door behind her and looked around, shaking her hair loose from her ponytail.

"Lucas?" she called. "Luke, I'm back!"

There was no answer and she suddenly remembered the look that had been on Lucas face when she'd left. Taking a deep breath she walked out of the kitchen.

"Lucas? Brooke? Where are you guys?" No one answered and she frowned. She knew that Lucas was probably not too happy with her and the fact that she'd been gone for over six hours couldn't have made him feel any more excited over the thought that she was spending time with Nathan, but still why wasn't he answering her? She ran her hand through her hair in agitation. However he felt, she had to make him see how important becoming friends with Nathan was to her. How important it was for _both_ of them. No matter how much they denied it, she knew that Lucas and Nathan missed each other. They really needed each other--especially since their dad's death and if they wouldn't make the first steps towards each other, she would do it for them. Whether they liked it or not. But first, she had to convince Lucas that they were all better off as friends than as enemies. She walked through the quiet house, suddenly noticing its deep silence. Lucas and Brooke couldn't possibly have gone out with the way she'd been feeling...could they? Brooke probably would if she'd been alone but Haley knew that Lucas wouldn't have let her. But then if they hadn't gone out... where were they? Haley stopped at the slightly opened door leading into Peyton and Brooke's room and she pushed it open...

...and got her answer.

Lying so wrapped up in each other's arms that Haley couldn't make out at first whose limbs beonged to whom, were Lucas and Brooke sound asleep. His head was buried in her neck and her lips rested demurely against his forehead...but her legs were wrapped around him in a way that was entirely _not _demure and his hands...her naked skin... Haley felt all coherent thought leave her mind. Some tiny, intelligent, very calm part of her brain quickly reminded her that Lucas cared about her, that Lucas loved _her _and she knew that what she was gaping at, wasn't what it looked like...It couldn't be. But then if it wasn't, why was Brooke only wearing a slip top with a matching thong?...and why was Lucas hand _on_ her matching thong! And where the hell was his shirt! Haley couldn't form words as she continued to stare at the two unconscious people lying on the bed in front of her. She was trying very hard to remain calm, but she was losing the battle. Quickly!

"Hey you! How was b-ball? I drove by the courts but---whoah!"

Haley turned as Peyton walked to her side and saw the occupied bed. She looked at Haley in confusion. "Haley?" she murmured stunned.

Just then Brooke rolled over and slowly stretched before snuggling closer to Lucas. She blinked sleepily around the room until her eyes came to rest on the wide-eyed girls in front of her. She sat up abruptly, pulling the covers over her.

"Oh, hey you guys!" she said quickly shaking her bangs from her eyes. "Sorry for the show! How long have you been standing there?"

Haley stared at her. "Long enough." she said tonelessly.

Peyton glanced at her quickly before turning to survey her friend questioningly."Um...I hate to ask the obvious but...what's going on?"

Brooke frowned in mock confusion before slowly smiling. "Peyton Sawyer, what exactly are you asking me?" she teased.

Just then Lucas started to move and all three girls watched as he slowly opened his eyes and blinked up at the ceiling before looking around himself. His eyes settled on Brooke and then Haley and then Brooke again before quickly focusing on Haley. He sat up quickly his eyes locked on her own.

"Hey! You're back." he said.

Peyton arched an eyebrow. "It's a quarter after four, Luke."

Lucas frowned, shocked. "A quarter after what!" He looked at Brooke. "We must have completely passed out after lunch!" He glanced at her scantily-clothed body and his shirtless chest, and his frown grew even more unhappier. "How long did we sleep?"

Brooke smiled. Secretly, Haley noticed. "A couple of hours, give or take a few." she joked."We must have been really tired after we...ate."

Haley felt her heart sink even further in her chest. No Haley! she told herself. It's not what you think, it's not what it looks like. Lucas wouldn't... But then she watched as Brooke ran a hand through Lucas already finger-ravaged hair, and she knew that she had to get out of there. Quickly.

"Um, I'm going for a walk." she said abruptly.

"I'll go with you." Lucas quickly added.

Haley looked at him. "No. I'm going alone. I... I need to clear my head." She smiled faintly at Brooke. "I need some fresh air." she explained dodgedly. "Nathan really made me work for it on the court today."

Brooke's eyes widened with interest. "Oooh, do tell!"

Haley backed from the doorway. "I will. Later. I'll see you in a while."

Lucas eyes pierced her own and she could see his desperate need to talk to her, freezing her where she stood like two blue beams of light. But she couldn't stay. She had to get away, clear her head and make sense out of what she had just seen. She had to be alone for a while, before they could talk.

"I'll see you when I get back." she said turning from the door. She hurried down the hall and was out the door breathing in the fresh air outside in huge gasps, but she had barely made it down the front walk, when Lucas was there standing in front of her.

"Haley! Haley, it's not what you think." he said hastily pulling on his shirt. " I swear baby. I'm sorry you even had to walk in on that but--"

Haley closed her eyes."Lucas, you were in bed with her! How can you say it's not what I think! I think that you guys were in bed together and you were! You were in bed with your ex-girlfriend and neither of you were wearing very much--that's what I saw and that's what was real! I just--I need to be by myself, I need to figure this out, please go. Please---" she tried to push past him but he caught her shoulders in his hands.

"Lucas---

"Haley, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry...and I can't just let you go away thinking that what you saw was anything other than a stupid misunderstanding. I can't. I love you to much to do that!" He looked into her eyes, seeing the walls go up one by one and he frowned."Do you believe me?" he asked suddenly, urgently, his eyes locked on hers."Do you believe that I would never do that to you, Haley? I love you! You are a part of my soul--"

Haley looked away but he lifted her chin until their eyes burned into each other.

"I _love_ you Haley!" he repeated intensely, his voice unwavering and still. "I would never hurt you like that. I would never _hurt_ you!"

Haley bit her lip. "I know." she whispered finally. "I know that Lucas. But I can't help how I feel! And you both looked so...It looked real, Luke..."

Lucas frowned. "Haley, nothing is more real than right now. Standing here with you. Touching you, I--" He looked around . "We can't talk here." he said suddenly reaching for her hand. "but we need to talk." He pulled his keys from his pocket. "Come on, let's go."

Haley followed him. "Where?"

"Somewhere where we can be alone." He opened the passenger side of his truck for her and she paused hesitantly before climbing in. She wasn't sure she could listen to anything he had to say at that moment, but she also knew that he wasn't going to take no for an answer. She felt him climb in beside her but she wouldn't meet his eyes as he started the engine. All she could see was his hands on Brooke's skin and their bodies pressed together. Whatever it had been, it couldn't have been completely innocent and for the first time, a sudden new and disturbing thought drifted into Haley's thoughts, dimming her happiness, raising her anxiety.

What if Lucas was...missing something with her, something only Brooke could give him? After all, Brooke was a sexual connoisseur who knew Lucas body as well if not better than Haley did! And Lucas was only the second guy she'd been with as compared to Brooke's possible hundred! What if Brooke could satisfy him in a way that she never could? Lucas _had _been with several girls before Haley too. There could to be something she wasn't doing right, some way she wasn't making him feel... Was she kidding herself thinking that she and Lucas would work because of all the love they felt for each other, even with the minimal amount of knowledge she had about sex? Was their love really enough?

The truck roared out of the driveway and she looked down as she felt Lucas free hand softly slide into hers. She finally looked up at him and he smiled despite the anxious look in his eyes. He raised her hands to his lips and kissed them slowly.

"I love you." he said again. "I can't say those words to you enough. I've never felt them so strongly for anyone Haley. Please believe that! Even if you can't believe anything else right now, believe that."

Haley stared up at him her eyes searching his."I love you too Lucas." she finally whispered. "But...is that enough?"

Lucas' eyes widened. "What?"

Haley stared at him intently. "I love you more than anything." she said softly. "But I just walked in on you holding your half-naked ex-girlfriend, Lucas. And that means something."

Lucas frowned at her unhappily. "Haley--" he said quietly.

But she leaned back and closed her eyes and he silently stared straight ahead. He still held her hand tightly in his own, suddenly feeling all the world like she was about to disappear as her hand remained motionless in his. But ever so slowly, she squeezed his hand back and he glanced over at her, the ache in his chest growing at the tiny gesture. She was staring out of the windshield, her eyes troubled, her bottom lip enveloped in her mouth the way she did when she was anxious and he frowned, sighing inwardly.

He couldn't believe he'd done something so incredibly ass-like! It didn't matter that he couldn't remember much of anything that happened after lunch and he was _sure_ that he and Brooke hadn't had sex...but she had kissed him. He was sure of that. What he couldn't understand was why he'd let her. Or why he'd stayed and fallen asleep with her when he should have left the room! Or why the rest of the events of that afternoon were so foggy in his mind...He knew what he and Brooke _hadn't_ done. But he couldn't remember exactly what they _had_ done! It was very strange. He felt like he was slowly waking from a nightmare that he couldn't even completely remember! He glanced at Haley and felt his heart wrench inside his chest. Whatever happened, he knew that he couldn't lose Haley. It was the one thing, the _only_ thing that he knew for sure. He would tell her everything, and then he would tell her how much he loved her, and if he was lucky she would hear him out and forgive him. Haley _would _forgive him...He looked over at her and carefully tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear but she wouldn't look at him and he looked back at the road ahead of him. He _hoped_ she would forgive him. If only he could be sure about what she had to forgive...

* * *

Peyton stared at her friend pointedly as she slowly folded her clothes and put them into the bureau. When Brooke didn't look like any information was coming out of her mouth anytime soon, Peyton sighed in frustration.

"Well?" she said impatiently. "Are you going to tell me, or do I have to beat it out of you?"

Brooke tilted her head teasingly. "Why, whatever do you mean?" she asked daintily.

Peyton tilted her head in a way that was clearly not amused and Brooke sighed. "Okay, Peyt, nothing happened, okay? We just got sleepy and... well we fell asleep. That's all."

Peyton didn't look convinced. "You and Lucas took a nap? Y'all were awfully...shall we say-- wrapped up in each other for two people who just went beddy-bye."

Brooke giggled. "Okay, I wanted to do a whole lot more, believe me! And well...part of me thinks that Lucas wanted to do more too but--it was like something held him back."

Peyton frowned. "What do you mean Lucas wanted to do more? How could you tell?"

Brooke tilted her head incredulously. "Peyton, I know I don't have to explain the inner workings of the male body to you, do I?"

Peyton eyes widened slowly. "You mean...he got excited?" she asked.

Brooke looked at her. "Uh, does Donald Trump wear a tupee? Hell yeah, he got excited!" she said. "And all other systems seemed ready to go but...he just stopped. and we talked and fell asleep and that was it. Oh, and we kissed too. But that was all she wrote."

Peyton'e eyes were wide. "You and Lucas...kissed!" she said incredulously.

Brooke smiled blissfully. "Yeah, we did..." she sighed. "It was really kind of beautiful and sweet. Like it meant something, you know? To _both _of us. I just know that Lucas still has feelings for me Peyton. I know it."

Peyton stared out the window, a troubled look on her face and Brooke looked at her. "Peyton, what's wrong?" she asked.

Peyton stood. "Um, nothing. I'm just working on getting rid of a migraine. It's been killing me all day!"

Brooke frowned concerned. "Do you need something for it? I've got some Aleve if you want...?"

"No, I've got something stronger in my room. Actual migraine medication, doctor's orders." she smiled. "I'll be right back, okay?"

She didn't wait for an answer and she left the room quickly as Brooke's concerned smile followed her out the door. But when she left, Brooke's smile was replaced by a small grin. She checked to make sure that Peyton wasn't in the hallway before she pulled a small vial of pills from the pocket of her robe. They belonged to her mother, a special little melange made especially for her by a family friend who also happened to be a doctor. Her mother ate them like candy but they were only supposed to be used as de-stressors. Brooke had learned very early on that when her mom took just enough, Brooke could pretty much say and do anything and her mom would simply nod and smile, lost in her own sweet numbness and so...she'd slipped three of these happy pills into Lucas' water right before lunch.

As she slipped the pills back into her pocket, she felt a tiny pang at the thought of having slipped Lucas a roofie...but the memory of his soft mouth on hers erased all her feelings of regret. Lucas had quickly relaxed after lunch and it had practically been a cake-walk taking off his shirt and getting him to kiss her. She probably could have gone further but even she had her limits. She hadn't even been sure that she would _like_ kissing him after what he'd done to her...but when his lips had touched hers, everything else had faded away and all that had been left was her and Lucas. She'd known that he wasn't completely aware of what he was doing but it had still been hard to remember that he was the enemy when his tongue was touching hers.

She'd almost slipped then. As he'd caressed her hair, his eyes half-closed and sleepy, she'd suddenly realized how far she'd gone for revenge, how crazy her scheme was getting and she'd wondered for a moment whether it was all worth it. But then he'd smiled softly at her, kissed her cheek and gazed into her eyes and whispered one word..._Haley..._

And her anger had come crashing back like a waterfall of lava!

There was no way that she would let Lucas and Haley be happy together after the way they'd made her feel, the betrayal she was _still _feeling. Her resolve returned in full, unyielding force. She was not going to back down until Lucas and Haley were over. Completely! And if the look on Haley's face was any indication, she was pretty sure that her plan was _finally_ beginning to explode into action. She'd already planted insecurities in both their minds and with Nathan's oblivious help, she'd made sure that they'd both seen evidence that she just might be right. And now both Lucas and Haley had disappeared to places unknown and she was pretty sure that at least one of them was screaming. Her plan was officially off the ground and moving along at a steady pace and she was _lovin'_ it!

"It's working!" she whispered gleefully. "Haley doubts Lucas, Lucas is suspicious of Nathan and now even Peyton is wondering! I am _too _good!" She grinned thoughtfully into thin air. "What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall of wherever Haley and Lucas are." she smirked. "What I wouldn't give..."

She hummed cheerfully as she continued folding her clothes. "Dear, sweet Lucas...hope she doesn't hurt you too bad..." she chuckled huskily. "Okay, maybe a little bit a hurt, but just a little. I'll do the rest..."


	25. Can We Keep a Secret?

**This chapter's a little angsty... _Okay_, and a little fluffy. Sorry, couldn't help it. Just deal, you'll get through it :)**

**As always, feedback is very welcome. Hint, hint...**

Can We Keep a Secret?

Haley's arms were folded tightly against her chest as she quickly walked past Lucas into his mother's office. He closed the door behind them and leaned against it for a moment, his eyes on his girlfriend's back as she stared out of the window. They were at TRIC, probably the only place they could speak privately without being overheard or walked in on and they were completely alone...but Haley hadn't said a word to him since they'd gotten into his truck and he'd waited, giving her the time that she so desperately seemed to need. But now he wanted to hear her voice. He wanted her to talk to him, to say anything as long as it was to him. He walked over to her and tried to put his arms around her but she pulled away and walked to the opposite side of the room, as far from him as she could get. She sat on the couch and ran her hands through her hair.

"Haley." Lucas said softly standing far away from her, giving her the space she needed despite his intense desire to hold her. "What are you thinking?" he asked. "I want to know what you're thinking. Tell me, baby, I want to make it better."

Haley didn't answer him. She stared at the floor, her eyes full, biting her bottom lip so hard, it was a vivid pink against her pale face. He walked over to her and knelt in front of her, not touching her but staring into her eyes even when she tried to look away. "Haley--"

"You don't want to know, Lucas." she said slowly shaking her head. "You really don't want to know what I'm thinking. Hell, _I_ don't even want to know what I'm thinking!"

Lucas reached for her cheek stopping himself as she flinched away. "I do want to know Haley. " he said quietly. "I want to know what's on your mind. I _hate_ that you're hurting, that I hurt you!" He reached for her hand and this time, she didn't pull away. "Let me in, Hales. Let me make it better."

She stared at him for a moment, before taking a deep breath. "You want to make it better?" she asked bitterly. "You want to know what I'm thinking? I'm wondering if you slept with her Lucas!" She stared at him." Did you sleep with her?" she asked abruptly, her heart in her throat. "Did you and Brooke have sex?"

"No!" Lucas said quickly shaking his head. "We didn't Haley. I didn't! I would never do that to you. I would never do that to us!"

Haley looked into his eyes,searching them. As they unflinchingly met hers, sincerity shining from them, she broke suddenly and tears fell down her face. He reached for her but she pulled away from him and covered her face with her hands. He watched her, feeling helpless and angry at himself as sobs rocked her body. He had caused her this pain and there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing she would _let_ him do. He tried to take her hand but she pulled it from him and stared at him through her tears.

"What _did_ you do Lucas? Did you...did you kiss her?" she asked hesitantly. "Did you kiss Brooke?" She stared into his eyes and he saw the hope there, the expectation. And for an instant, everything inside of him screamed at him to lie. To tell her no and then hold her and kiss her and tell her how much he loved her and show her... For an instant, he thought about ending the pain that his girlfriend was feeling, with one lie. But instead he told her the truth.

"Yes." he whispered. "I kissed her. I kissed Brooke, Haley. But it was nothing. It was _nothing_."

Haley slowly closed her eyes as hurt and disappointment overwhelmed her. She covered her face as the tears continued to fall, but images of Lucas and Brooke holding each other and kissing rose to her mind, clouding her thoughts until she felt sick.

"Why did you do it Lucas?" she cried."Was it to get back at me? For Nathan kissing me the other night? Did you want me to feel as much pain as you did? Because you went way beyond what you set out to do, believe me! I'm hurting Luke! Congratulations,I feel like shit! And as an added bonus, I feel sick to my stomach--I have to get out of here..." Haley stood abruptly. She had to leave. She had to get away from him. She stood and walked towards the door but Lucas grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"Let go!" she yelled. "Let me go, Lucas--"

"Haley, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay? That kiss had nothing to do with you kissing Nathan, I swear---"

"Nathan kissed me! _He_ kissed me, okay! And what he did was innocent. What I saw in that bedroom was many things but innocent was not even _close_ to what that was!"

Lucas closed his eyes. "Haley, it was not what it looked like. I don't know what that...what you _saw_ was but I didn't want any of it to happen. I'm not even sure what happened---"

"You don't know what that _was_!" she cried."Liar! You are such a liar! Did your shirt just remove itself! Stop lying to me Lucas. Just tell me the truth... " she sobbed. She tried to pull away but he grabbed her other hand pulling them to his chest as she hit at him angrily.

Lucas eyes were full as he tried to look into her eyes. "That _is_ the truth Haley! There's no excuse for what I did but that's the truth! I don't know why I did it or what I was thinking. I only want to be with you! All I can say is that it was a mistake! I love _you_ okay! Please don't go, Hales please..."

Haley wrestled against him but he was so much stronger and he held both her wrists immobile in his hands. She looked into his eyes as the hurt suddenly won out against her anger. "I'm not enough for you, Lucas." she whispered brokenly. "I'm not enough to make you want me and only me."

Lucas was shaking his head. "That's not true Haley. That's _not_ true--"

"Then why did you kiss her?" she whispered. She had stopped fighting him and his grasp on her wrists loosened but she stood looking into his eyes, wondering, the ache in her chest spreading to her heart. "Why were you both half-dressed and why did you let her touch you? If I'm enough, why were you holding _her_, Luke?"

"I don't know, Haley!" he said desperately. "One moment we were talking and then she was kissing me and pulling off my shirt--it...it happened and there is no excuse for it but I pulled away Haley! I stopped it! I ended it because I don't love her. I love you!"

Haley was shaking her head. "Maybe you do..." she said softly. "Maybe you do love me. But I'm not enough. I can't be if we could have a night like last night and you could turn around the next day and---" She closed her eyes as the image of Brooke and Lucas together, filled her thoughts. " I guess I just don't make you feel like she does. I can't."

"Haley, _no one_ makes me feel like you do!" Lucas said intently, his hands on her cheeks. "You make me feel so much more! I have never felt this way about anyone! Only you, Haley! _Please_ forgive me, baby. Please..."

She closed her eyes and shook her head again but she didn't pull away and Lucas caressed her cheeks gently.

"What I had with Brooke was a moment Haley." he said softly. "What I have with you, is forever."

His eyes were wide with sincerity and love and she opened her eyes slowly and looked into his own. "I'm sorry for what I did and I will never, _never_ do that again. I love you. And I need you in my life. I _want_ you in my life Haley. I want _you_."

Haley closed her eyes but she didn't pull away from him. And as his arms slid around her, she let him hold her as the tears came, streaming down her face, wetting his shirt. His heart beat against hers as she stood stiffly at first but then his hair brushed her cheek, and her emotions took over causing her to slowly lay her head on his shoulder. Lucas closed his eyes as her hands slid around him and they held each other tightly for a long time.

"I love you." she finally whispered, her voice breaking as she said the words. "And I...I forgive you for kissing Brooke. But maybe...maybe this is just what's inevitable. Maybe you aren't ready to just be with me...Maybe--"

Lucas pulled away from her and stared into her eyes. "Haley, what are you saying?" he asked incredulously.

Haley took a deep breath. "I'm saying that maybe I'm not enough for you, Lucas. Sexually. Maybe you need to be with someone else. Someone...someone more experienced and--inventive...and sexy.Someone like--"

She was cut off as Lucas suddenly kissed her. His lips covered hers, enveloping them as they moved against hers passionately and she slowly slid her arms up his chest as he pulled her closer to him. Holding her against his heart...

"Lucas..." she said breathlessly against his mouth as he lifted her up and walked to the couch, laying her down gently. He lowered himself beside her and kissed her jawline as she slowly opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Lucas." she whispered again, her eyes searching his own. "What are you doing--"

He held her cheek in his hand. "Do you know how beautiful you are Haley? " he asked softly. "How completely amazing? Even when we were kids, when I was too stupid or blind to realize what was growing up beside me, even then I knew you were something special. Something unique and rare. Something...beautiful."

Haley stared at Lucas, enraptured as he slowly began to unbutton her blouse. "It stayed with me Haley." he whispered."Even when I found out that you had married Nathan, I remembered thinking how lucky he was that you loved him. How lucky he was that you chose _him_."

Haley's eyes widened slightly and he nodded, slowly pushing her shirt from her shoulders. He pulled it off of her and dropped it on the floor. Haley's breath quickened as he slid a finger down her stomach and stopped at her belt before he slowly undid the buckle.

"I never thought that I'd ever find anyone as special as you Haley." he said softly kissing her neck. "But I did. I found one of the most special people I've ever met." he looked into her eyes. "We found each other."

She stared up at him wordless as he pulled off her belt and slowly unzipped her jeans.She trembled slightly as he slowly leaned towards her, his eyes locked with hers before kissing her cheeks, and her chin and her forehead.

"You are it for me, Haley James. " he said against her collarbone. "That's how I know that everything with Brooke was a mistake, a fluke. Because everything with you...is real." He kissed her shoulder. "And I don't want anyone else, and I don't want a break or anything else like it. I want you. I always want you."

He kissed her slowly, passionately etching his words on her lips and Haley felt her eyes fill with tears as he held her closer to him. Despite what had happened, she felt his sincerity and she felt his passion for her. But most of all, she felt his love. He wasn't lying to her. Lucas _loved_ her. And that's all that mattered.

Haley felt a warmth inside her build as his kisses intensified and she turned in his arms. He was kissing her everywhere as if he couldn't get enough of her and she suddenly knew that he only felt that way about _her._ Brooke could walk in naked at that very moment and he'd only see _her_ and that thought filled her with a desperate relief that made her lose her breath for a moment but it quickly returned as Lucas' shirt followed her own to the floor. He pushed her jeans down and she quickly pulled at his as their kisses grew heated, their bodies hot against each other. She wanted to be as close to him as possible and she could feel his desperation to be near her too. In moments, they were naked and she looked up into his eyes as he paused and stared down at her, taking her in all at once, looking at every part of her. She felt no embarassment or shyness with him, only passion and love and she smiled up at him as he ran his hand through her hair.

"Beautiful..." he whispered. She smiled and he slowly lowered his head and kissed her softly, her legs sliding over his, entangling them together. They wove their fingers together as he slowly pressed into her and she arched against him and held him tightly to her as he kissed her temple.

"No one can make me feel like this Haley. " he whispered to her. "No one but you."

They moved together gently at first, tender as they kissed and whispered to one another but as passion overtook them, they clung to one another moving faster and faster their bodies sliding together, silent and soft. Even when their impassioned movements caused them to fall to the floor, they continued to make love, moving from the floor, to the love seat and then the wall where they held each other up as their heat engulfed them in its intensity. He kissed every part of her, pausing at her breasts to lick each rose-colored tip, causing her to moan his name over and over again.She reached for him and he held her against him as she touched him intimately, caressing him faster and faster until he gasped her name, his voice loud in the empty room.

He pulled her on top of him and she straddled him as he sat up and pressed her closer to him, their bodies moving together in heated unison. He pressed into her again and again, whispering her name as she moved even closer to him, sliding against him, enveloping him over and over again...until they could barely move. Finally they fell to the couch, their breathing quick and hot against each other as they tried to catch their breath. He held her while her breathing slowed and she listened to his heart beat slowly beneath her ear as she drew closer to him. He pulled the wool couch cover over them and she lifted her head and rested her chin on his chest as he smiled softly at her. She kissed his chest and stretched against him, a movement she knew enticed him when she felt his body react right away.

"Down boy." she giggled." I can barely move."

Lucas smiled teasingly and caressed her back before gently turning her in his arms so that they were lying face to face, their eyes locked in wordless bliss. "That's alright. You don't have to move. What I want to do to you requires very little movement on your part." he said softly.

Haley grinned lazily. "Really..." she said leaning closer to him until their lips touched."And what may I ask is that?"

He smiled mysteriously and she lay back as he slowly began to kiss her in a way that he never had before. His kissed her softly but with a passion that left her breathless with its intensity. His tongue pressed against hers softly and she felt her heartbeat increase with every move of lips and every touch of his hands on her face. He made love to her with that kiss in a way that left her breathless and made her eyes shine. When he slowly pulled away, she stared at him speechless for a moment as a couple of tears slid down her cheeks.

"That was...amazing." she whispered as he slowly wiped them away.

"You're amazing, Haley." He whispered. " I never want you to doubt how I feel for you ever. Seeing you so hurt... hurt me and I never want to see that look in your eyes again. I promise that I will never hurt you like that again, Haley. I will never break your heart." He held her cheeks in his hands. "I l_ove_ you. I love you more than anything and that will never change. Never."

Haley smiled through the tears streaming down her face. She kissed him softly letting her mouth speak in a way that she couldn't say with words and he smiled against her lips.

"I love you too, Lucas." she whispered. She snuggled closer to him and he held her tightly, his face in her hair. They lay like that for a long time watching the sky darken in the window across from them. As it grew darker, Haley sighed against his chest.

"I love this. I wish we could stay like this forever." she whispered suddenly. "Just you and me, hidden away from everyone. From the whole world."

Lucas smiled softly. "Me too." he said. "Unfortunately, the real world is probably up and waiting for us to get home." She looked at him and he brushed her bangs from her forehead,his eyes suddenly serious and dark as he gazed at her. "I'm going to tell Brooke, Haley. I'm going to tell her tonight."

Haley looked away from him and he turned her chin so that he could look into her eyes. "It's time, Hales." he whispered. "It's past time. I'm tired of lying about our real feelings, about how much we mean to each other. I'm tired of lying about what we really are. And I can't stand lying to Brooke anymore. She has to know and I have to tell her--"

"I know..." Haley said slowly. "You're right. Brooke needs to know. It's just that..." she stopped and Lucas looked at her.

"It's just what? What is it, Haley?"

She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "It's Nathan."

Lucas frowned. "What does Nathan have to do with any of this?" he asked.

Haley slowly sat up, pulling the cover to her and Lucas sat up with her, his brow furrowed.

Haley took another deep breath. "Nathan and I are finally friends Lucas." she said breathlessly. "He's finally forgiven me and he's let go of so much of the bitterness that I made him feel. But finding out about us... Now? It would break his heart. _I _would break his heart again."

Lucas looked away. "I'm sure it _would _break his heart." he said quietly. But it was the _way_ he said it that caught Haley's attention.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked sharply.

Lucas looked at her. "Haley, Nathan's heart would be broken but not because we've kept this a secret. He'll be hurt because he hasn't gotten over you. He's still in love with you and he wants you back."

Haley's mouth fell open. "Lucas you can't be serious! Just weeks ago, Nathan could barely look at me! He is _so _not in love with me---"

Lucas took a deep breath. "Haley, it's true. Brooke told me--"

Haley balked. "Brooke! What the hell does she know about this---"

Lucas closed his eyes. Of all the times to say Brooke's name..."Brooke doesn't have anything to do with this. But her and Nathan are friends, Haley. And she told me yesterday that Nathan told her he wants you back. He thinks that he made a mistake and he wants to work things out with you--"

"Yes! He wants to be friends again Luke, that's it. Just friends. Brooke was _way_ off base with the little theory she just happened to share with you. She needs to keep her lies to herself!"

Lucas frowned. "Haley, Brooke wasn't lying. Nathan _told _her this! He told her that he wants you back!"

Haley was shaking her head adamantly. "I don't care what Brooke said Luke! Nathan told me that he wants to be my friend again and it's finally happening. Today he really opened up to me Luke, he really did! Like he never has before. We even talked about you--"

Lucas shook his head. "Haley, Nathan has no intention of ever making things right with me. He's probably only telling you what you want to hear so that you won't see the truth about how he really feels!"

Haley's mouth fell open. She dropped the cover and started to get dressed, her movements fast and angry. "Lucas I am not some naive little girl with stars in her eyes okay! I'm fully aware of what is reality and what is fantasy and Nathan's feelings for me are as real as they get. He doesn't have any! He wants to my friend and I really want that too.The question is why don't you want this?"

"Haley..." Lucas said softly as she quickly pulled on her shirt. She didn't stop and he gently reached for her arms, stopping her angry movements with his touch. He looked deeply into her eyes. "I don't want to fight with you Hales." he said calmly. "I know you care about Nathan and I understand why you want to be his friend. But I also know that what Brooke told me was not that far from the truth."

Haley tilted her head with frustration. "How can you know that Lucas? Is Brooke's word worth so much more than Nathan's?"

Lucas shook his head. "No, but my eyesight is. I saw the way that Nathan looked at you today Haley." She started to shake her head but he looked into her eyes steadily. "Nathan still has strong feelings for you. Feelings that go beyond friendship, and I know that it'll hurt him to find out about us, but we can't keep making our decisions based on other people's feelings Haley. We can't keep on hiding what we really feel. Look what it almost did to us today!"

Haley stared at him wordlessly. Part of her knew that he was right. They couldn't keep on hiding their feelings from everyone. It was hurting them too much and in the end, it would only hurt the people that they cared about more the longer they kept it a secret. But another part of her was remembering Nathan's eyes that afternoon when he'd finally opened up to her again. The guarded look has finally disappeared and he had smile at her in a way that he hadn't in a long time. It had fixed the final piece of her heart that had been broken when she'd left him what seemed so long ago, the part that he'd had. She didn't want to lose that part of herself again. She didn't want to lose Nathan. And she was sure that his feelings for her were the same as hers were for him. He wasn't in love with her, he couldn't be after what she'd done to him. Brooke and Lucas were mistaking his new trust for her as love, she was sure of it. She didn't want his trust to disappear again and she was sure it wouldn't. But only if they could give Nathan some time to get used to the idea of having both her and Lucas in his life again as his friends...before they told him they were more than friends.So much more...

Lucas was watching her, his blue eyes searching her face and she slid her hand into his, her eyes locked with his own.

"Lucas," she said slowly. "I can't wait to tell everyone about us. I can't wait to be able to walk down the street and hold your hand and kiss you and have everyone see us and not care because we belong to each other and no one else." She smiled softly and linked her fingers with his and he grinned and kissed her hand. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone." she whispered. "Even Nathan. And he was my husband but I never loved him like I should have. I never felt even a little of what I feel right now, for him. That was at least part of the reason I left him, part of why it wasn't impossible to go. And that's why we can't tell anyone about us yet Lucas.That's why we have to hold on to this secret for a little while longer."

Lucas smile faded into an expressionless mask and Haley felt an ache begin in her chest but she continued. "I owe Nathan so much Luke!" she said emotionally. "I never gave him back even half of the love he gave me and I hurt him so deeply." Lucas looked away and she moved her head so that their eyes were locked together. "That's why I have to make sure that he knows that I care about him before we tell him. Not just for him, but for us. For you and me, I have to make sure that we are all friends again before he finds out the truth. I have to make sure that he'll be okay...before I can be completely happy." He wouldn't look at her and she knelt at his side so she could look into his eyes." Do you understand, Lucas?" she asked.

He was silent for a moment before he finally looked at her. "No." he said quietly." I don't understand Haley. I don't understand why how Nathan feels is so much more important than us being happy, or why Brooke's feelings matter more than ours. I don't understand and I don't think I ever will." He stood and started to pull on his clothes and Haley watched him silently before standing to her feet.

"Lucas, it's not more important." she said in frustration, her words breaking against the lump in her throat. "You _are_ more important to me than anything. That's why I think you need a relationship with your brother. Don't you see that you won't have one if we go home and tell Brooke now!"

"I don't care, Haley!" Lucas cried turning to face her. He lowered his voice and held her cheeks in his hands. "I don't care anymore. Right now, all I want is to be able to hug you in the morning without feeling like I'm doing something wrong,or hold you on the couch while we watch a movie or at night while you sleep! I want to be your boyfriend." he said simply, his arms splayed at his sides. " But sometimes it seems like that will never happen. And it won't if we keep on keeping this damn secret from everyone Haley. How long do you want this to go on?"

He pulled on his t-shirt abruptly and Haley watched him silently, aware of his anger, understanding it and hating it at the same time.

"Baby..." she whispered to him,touching his rigid back as he stared out the window."I know it's hard. It's hell for me too! But can we just try a little longer? For one more week, Lucas. Just one more..." She lay her head on his back and held him to her, hating that she was causing him to be upset, knowing she had to. "After this week, we can tell everyone. We can even yell it from the rooftops. Or maybe just post it online,that would be less life-threatening..." she said laughing a little, hoping to make him smile. Lucas didn't say a word and she exhaled quietly." I think that Brooke will finally be able to deal with it now but Nathan...I just need to make sure that Nathan is okay first. With both of us." She slid her arms around his waist and waited. "Can you do that? For us? Can you give me more time to make things right?"

Lucas's body relaxed in her arms but he didn't turn around and she slid under his arm, her arms still around him as she faced him. He was frowning slightly, his eyes on the growing dusk outside the window, his beautiful face as still as a statue and she turned her head and lay on his chest, her ear over his heartbeat. They stood like that for a while, neither of them moving or speaking. But then Lucas's arms slid around her waist and she looked up at him.He looked down at her a tiny frown furrowing the space between his eyes and her arms tightened around him.

"I want you to know that if you really want to tell Brooke tonight, I will." she said softly. "How you feel _is_ so much more important than anything else.Please don't doubt that." She closed her eyes briefly. "But I really want Nathan in our lives Lucas. And I don't think that will happen if he finds out before we're all friends again. It won't."

Lucas took a deep breath. "I hate this." he said finally, exhaling loudly. "I really do. But I'll make myself do this. For you. For one more week."

Haley closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest."Thank you.Thank you Lucas." she whispered. He let her go and turned away but she grabbed him and kissed him softly, only pulling away to look into his eyes. "I love you." she said meaningfully. Lucas nodded slowly a faint smile on his lips and Haley felt the ache in her chest grow even wider. She tilted her head. "Baby, I don't want to do this if it bothers you so much. I don't want you to be upset." she said brokenly.

"And I don't want to break your heart." he said quietly. "I want your heart completely intact and loving me when all this is over, and I know that a part of it will always be with Nathan if we tell Brooke tonight." He paused and touched her cheek briefly before dropping his hand. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "So I'll wait for a week. One week and then we'll tell them both. Together."

Haley smiled slowly and reached for him and he put his arms around her waist and lowered his head until their foreheads touched.

"See how much I love you?" he said, chuckling halfheartedly.

Haley nodded smiling softly. "Yes...but I still love you more." she whispered. As their lips touched, every other thought disappeared and it was only them in the world.

The way they wanted it to be.


	26. Mouth Wide Shut

Mouth Wide Shut

Brooke's eyes slowly drifted from the Cosmo in her lap to the front door and back again. It was almost midnight and Haley and Lucas were still gone causing her to wonder if this most recent phase in her plan had worked a little _too_ well. She'd expected her and Lucas little 'slumber party' to put a crack in his little romance, not demolish it. No, she was saving the best and final step of her plan for last. She didn't just want to break Lucas and Haley up, she wanted to _end_ them for good. Destroying everything they had together, including their friendship would truly break their hearts and that's exactly what she wanted to do, hurt them just like they hurt her. She needed them to be together till she could finish what she'd started and as she glanced at the door again, she wondered if her plan had worked prematurely.

She shook the hair from her forehead, feeling almost giddy with impatience but she tried to hide it behind a calm, peaceful smile. She was very much aware that Peyton had been watching her almost as furtively as she'd been watching the door for the past hour and she wanted to look completely opposite of how she really felt; calm, content and carefree. She forced a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head.

"Wow, Lucas and Haley must have made it halfway to China by now!" she murmured absently flicking through her magazine. "What's taking them so long, they've been gone for hours."

Peyton quickly looked down at the CD's she been sorting through and shrugged. "I think they went for a drive instead. Lucas's truck's gone."

Brooke tilted her head curiously. "Really?..." she frowned. "That's weird. I thought that Haley wanted to go for a walk..." She sighed and sat up. "Whatever. Wherever they are, they better bring home some supper. I am absolutely starving!"

Peyton smiled pensively."I'm sure they will..." she said absently. She waited for a moment trying to make her voice sound as nonchalant as possible before looking up at her friend.

"Hey B, I was wondering something..." she said smoothly.

Brooke hid another smile as she slowly turned a page in her magazine. She'd been waiting for Peyton to broach the subject that was obviously burning a hole in her head.

"Hmmm?..." she said studying the page closely.

Peyton took a deep breath. "About Lucas kissing you..." she said slowly.

Brooke looked at her, her eyes wide and waiting. "What about it?"

Peyton forced a smile. "You're going to think this is _so_ off-topic but...who initiated it?"

Brooke frowned. "It?"

"The...kiss."

Brooke smiled, frowning slightly. "Okay, strange question--"

"I know--"

"--but you are my BFF," she said smiling widely. She threw the magazine on the table and inched her chair closer to her friend's."Actually I've been dying to talk to you about this all day but you seemed kind of preoccupied."

Peyton looked down at the CDs spread out on the table in front of them. "I know, I'm sorry. It's just that TRIC's re-opening is only days away and Karen asked me to get so much done..." She looked at Brooke and turned her chair to face her friend. "But I'm all yours now. You have my complete and focused attention." She smiled faintly. "Spill."

Brooke squealed and squeezed her friends hands. "Finally! I've been waiting to tell you this since this afternoon."

Peyton stared at her. "Tell me...what?"

Brooke's smile widened with excitement. "Well...it's about Lucas."

Peyton's smile faded."Lucas?" she said quietly."Brooke did...did _he_ kiss _you_?"

Brooke sighed happily. "Kiss me? He didn't just kiss me Peyt! He wants to get back together!"

Peyton's mouth fell open. "What!"

Brooke nodded. "After he kissed me, he was holding me really close and I thought---well I thought that we were going to make love but instead...he got really quiet. And then he looked into my eyes and told me that he loved me and that he wanted to get back together again."

Peyton stared at her friend wordlessly, her mouth open and wide.

"I know!" Brooke giggled. "I was speechless too. The day I moved in here with you guys, I told Lucas how I felt about him but I wasn't completely sure how he felt about me. I thought he might love me but...well I wasn't sure." her grin widened. "But after today--Peyton, I finally know! Lucas loves me and he wants to be with me and I want to be with him---"

"Brooke--"

"I know, it seems sudden and well, let's face it, it didn't work before but--why not now? Why shouldn't we try again, right?"

Peyton closed her eyes. Now was the moment. She could tell Brooke, she _should_ tell Brooke everything! Lucas wasn't in love with her. Despite what he'd told Brooke, Peyton _knew_ that Lucas was completely in love with Haley. Just the look in his eyes whenever he looked at Haley said it all. She didn't know why he'd told Brooke what he did or what the hell was going on in his head when he ended up in bed with her, but she was sure it had all been a mistake. A horrible, heart-breaking mistake that he needed to fix---Quick. And she was pretty sure that wherever he was, that was exactly what he was trying to do.

And she needed to tell Brooke this. She needed to tell her everything before it all got even worse--if it even could! Right now. She would tell her right now.

She looked into Brooke's eyes and took a deep breath. She would do it. It was time to put an end to the whole mess. She took her friend's hands in her own.

"Brooke," she said softly.

Brooke's smile faded and she stared at her friend. "Yes?" she said, suddenly quiet and still. Like she knows what's coming, Peyton thought silently. Her friend's eyes were wide and filled with a strange light as they pierced her own. Like they were willing her to...willing her to do--something.

She swallowed. "Lucas...may not have told you...everything today."

Brooke frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he may have told you he loves you and I'm sure he does--in his way--but..."

Peyton looked into her friend's eyes again and she saw a hope there and encouragement...and a vulnerability. A fragile vulnerability that seemed like it could break apart at any time. She'd seen that vulnerability before. The night Brooke had walked into her room after finding out about Peyton and Lucas secret relationship and told her that their friendship was over. Peyton had never felt so low in her life...until now. Her friend was watching her, trusting her, expecting her to always have her back, expecting her to love her and all of a sudden Peyton knew...

she couldn't do it. She couldn't break her best-friend's heart...again.

She closed her eyes. " I just want you to be careful."

Brooke looked at her, her expression strangely crestfallen. "That's it? That's all you want to tell me?"

Peyton couldn't quite meet her eyes. "Yes. I just think that you're in a sensitive place right now, you know? With your parents divorce and your feelings for Lucas...maybe you should just wait until you're ready for a relationship again. And maybe it will be with Lucas and maybe it won't, either way you'll be stronger and more importantly...you'll be ready."

Brooke stared at her silently. Several emotions played across her features and Peyton couldn't make out one from another but they all confused her.

"Brooke?"

Brooke smiled slowly. "Peyton, I really appreciate your concern, I do. But I'll be okay."

"But--"

"But nothing, I'm in love! And for once it's with a great guy! And I finally know for sure that he loves me back. How can I _not_ be with him!"

Peyton ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "Brooke, Lucas _is_ a great guy but he's still a _guy_ and--"

"And he's _my_ guy and we're going to be together. And I'm ready for us to be together Peyt! I promise, it's going to work this time. Okay?"

She grabbed Peyton's face and kissed her forehead before jumping up and dancing to the fridge. She pulled out a beer and grabbed a glass from the cupboard but she caught Peyton's worried gaze and paused, tilting her head.

"Gloomy Girl, quit gloomin'! I'm happy! Hell, I'm estatic! And everything is going to be even more fabulous as soon as Lucas gets home!" Peyton stared at her wordlessly and she giggled. "Okay they won't be quite so fabulous...unless he has a pizza or something 'cause I am really fam-ished!"

Peyton smiled faintly at that and Brooke giggled again. "Good, a smile! Finally!Seriously I was beginning to think that you'd forgotten how."

Peyton looked down at her lap and sighed. She was a coward. A huge, ugly coward and Brooke was going to suffer because of it. She sighed again, willing the tears threatening to fall,back into her head. Brooke shook her head.

"Uh, uh! None of that. I've retired Sigh Girl but I will bring her back if you force me too!"

Peyton chuckled weakly."No, anything but that." she managed to choke out.

Brooke grinned. "That's more like it. Keep doing that and I may reconsider."

When Peyton rolled her eyes, Brooke giggled again. "Hey, don't make me change my mind, Sawyer! I could think up another name you know, like EyeBall Roller or how about just Ball Roller--"

She was interrupted as the front door opened and Lucas and Haley walked in. Brooke's smile widened.

"Broody!" she said happily. She ran to Lucas and threw her arms around him. "Where have you guys been? We were about to send out the National Guard!"

Peyton's eyes locked with Haley's. She tried to gage her friends expression but she couldn't make out how Haley felt or what she was thinking. But she could see, and Haley looked like a freight truck had run her over...and then backed up. Her face was flushed, her hair wild and tussled around her face and her eyes were red and puffy as if she'd been crying for hours. Which she probably had.

She held out a pizza box. "We brought supper." She said quietly. Her voice was husky and low and Peyton felt her heart fall inside her chest. Her friend looked so unhappy and it was all she could do not to reach out and hug her. She sighed deeply. Everything was so messed up and it only seemed to be getting worse and worse.She was beginning to wonder if things would ever be the same again.

Brooke grinned at the sight of the pizza."See Peyt, I told you they'd bring us supper." she said winking teasingly. She grabbed Lucas hand and pulled him to the table. "Come on, let's grub."

Lucas looked at Haley who was looking at everything but Brooke's hand in his. "Actually I'm pretty wiped out, Brooke. I think that I'm going to head to bed---"

"What? No way! You've been gone for hours and I missed you. You cannot go to sleep. And besides..." her smile turned sultry. "You're not sleeping alone tonight."

Peyton saw Haley's flushed cheeks, darken and she stood up. "Actually B, I need to steal Lucas for a second. His mom left some very specific instructions for him concerning TRIC and one of said instructions were for us to go by there and check out some of the inventory before the delivery tomorrow so...excuse us." Without waiting for a reply, Peyton grabbed Lucas' free hand and began to pull him to the door. Lucas stopped her and looked into her eyes.

"Peyton, now is not a good time." he said pointedly.

Peyton nodded her head. "Oh, now is a _great_ time, believe me." she said in a low voice.

Lucas glanced at Haley. "Peyt--" he began but he was interrupted by the doorbell. All four of them stared at the door but it was Brooke who walked over and opened it. Nathan stared in at them surprised.

"Hey." he said ackwardly. "Am I interrupting something?"

Haley tried to smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Hey yourself." she said softly."No, you're not interrupting. What's going on? Are you okay?"

Nathan looked around the room. "Actually...no. I'm not." He looked at her. "I tried to call your cell phone but I never got through."

"It was off." Haley said her eyes narrowed with worry. "What's wrong?"

Nathan looked around the room again before focusing in on her."Can I talk to you Haley?" he asked. "Alone?"

"Um..." Haley glanced at Lucas before nodding slowly. "Sure, let's go."

She walked pass Nathan out the door and he turned and looked at the others. "Later Brooke, Peyton..." He said turning to leave but then he paused and looked back. At Lucas.

"Lucas." he said nodding slightly.

Then he closed the door, leaving them standing in stunned silence behind him.


	27. Cry Me a River

**Thanks for the reviews! I was beginning to wonder if anyone was still out there...**

* * *

Cry Me a River

"What are you doing, Lucas? What the hell are you _doing_!"

Lucas sat down on the couch and closed his eyes, as he ran his hand through his hair. They had finally made it to TRIC after spending over twenty minutes convincing Brooke that she would be bored if she went with them...or forced to help. That had quickly ended her desire to tag along and they'd driven to the club in tense silence. But now they were there and Peyton finally let it all out. Everything she was feeling from her guilt and anxietyover Brooke, to her pity and compassion for Haley, exploded to the surface. She was a tightly wound ball of conflicting emotions and she was tired of it! She paced in front of Lucas, her hands on her hips and then her hair before she resolutely folded them against her chest.

"I don't understand Lucas." she cried. "I mean I thought you cared about Haley. I thought you loved her! How could you let things with Brooke escalate like this! How could you _kiss_ her! Do you realize how much worse this situation has gotten because you couldn't keep your lips to yourself!" Lucas didn't look at her and she started pacing again.

"Don't you realize how fragile Brooke's feelings are right now already? Between her parents divorce and her insecurity about your feelings for her, she's an emotional time bomb! And so what do _you_ do? You kiss her and make everything worse! And Haley..."

She stopped and looked at him and her voice softened. "How could you hurt her like this, Luke? I've never seen her look so...so lost! I mean even after everything with Nathan, she wasn't as shattered as I saw her today. She looked absolutely broken Lucas, broken--"

Her voice faded away as Lucas finally looked up at her. Her eyes widened as she saw the tears in his.

"I know Peyton! I know that I hurt her,okay?" he whispered. "I never wanted to see the look in Haley's eyes that I saw today, I never thought I would! I mean I _really_ hurt her..."

He shook his head and Peyton sat down beside him and touched his back comfortingly. She was quiet for a moment, her eyes small and confused as she saw the pain on Lucas face. He _did_ love Haley. There was no denying that.The look in his eyes were as shattered as hers, if not more. But then if his feelings were real, why did he kiss Brooke? And why did he tell her that he wanted to be with her?

"What happened today Lucas?" she asked softly. "With Brooke? Why did you do it?"

Lucas shook his head. "I don't know Peyton! That's just it, I don't know why I kissed her or--anything eIse we did! I don't even remember half of our conversation!"

Peyton frowned. "What?"

"One minute we were eating lunch and then all of a sudden my shirt's off and I'm kissing her and I don't know why! I don't _remember_ half the things I said or did!"

Peyton frowned and something...something prodded at her thoughts begging her to take notice.

"So you don't remember telling Brooke that you loved her? That you wanted to get back together with her?"

Lucas looked at her with so much shock and bewilderment that she realized she didn't need an answer.

"She said I told her that?" he asked incredulously. Peyton nodded and he sat back and covered his face with his hands.

Peyton stared at him. "Lucas, how can you not remember saying something like that? I mean...were you drinking?"

"Drinking?" he cried. "At twelve in the afternoon, are you kidding me?"

"Well then, what other explanation is there Lucas?" she cried. "I don't understand how you could do and say all those things and not remember anything! It just doesn't make any sense."

Lucas looked at her, his eyes wide and sincere. "Peyton, I love Haley! I love her more than anything. I don't want to be with anyone else ever again!I have found the love of my life, do you understand? She means everything to me." He ran a hand through his hair. "So _you_ don't understand what I was doing? It doesn't make any sense to _you_? Well get in line because I don't understand it either. I almost destroyed what Haley and I have, and I don't even know why."

Peyton looked at him. "_Almost_ destroyed?"

Lucas nodded, slowly standing to his feet. He walked over to the window. "I told her how much I loved her and how sorry I was and she forgave me." He looked up at the dark sky. "And then we stood right here and we decided that we wouldn't tell Brooke yet. That we'd wait a week."

Peyton frowned. "Wait? For another week! Are you kidding? Why?"

"Because Haley wants everything to be okay with Nathan before we tell her. She wants us all to be okay again so that at some point, we can eventually get over this."

Peyton stared at him. "And what do _you_ want?"

Lucas exhaled loudly. "I want this whole damn thing to be over! I want to tell Brooke the truth and I want to be able to hold Haley and kiss her in public without the threat of being found out hovering over our heads." He looked at her."I want you to smile at me again and not hate me for making you lie to your best-friend."

"I don't hate you Luke---"

He smiled slightly. "And you also don't smile at me anymore."

Peyton looked away with a heavy sigh. "Luke...it's just hard not to be mad at somebody for this whole ugly mess and you..." She looked at him. "Well you're in the middle of it all."

Lucas nodded and looked back out the window. "I know." he said quietly. "I know that I'm responsible for this whole thing. I've made such a mess out of everything. It's my fault." He looked so unhappy that Peyton felt her heart go out to him. She walked over to him and looked into his eyes.

"It's not_ all _your fault Luke. And I don't hate you, I don't even dislike you." she said smilng up at him. "In fact, I kinda love you. You're one of my best-friends and I know that you're a good person." He smiled at her and she tilted her head. "But I love Brooke and Haley too and this...this secret is making everything worse. You and Haley need to tell her the truth. Tonight."

Lucas looked at her. "Peyton, I wanted to tell Brooke everything tonight but Haley asked me to wait for a week. She really wants this thing with Nathan to be okay and after what I put her through today...I just couldn't say no." He closed his eyes. " I just wish that I could erase this entire morning from my memory...instead of just the four hours that have seemed to erase themselves."

Peyton frowned at his words. Again, something nudged at the edge of her thoughts. Something she felt like she should know but couldn't seem to materialize inside her brain.

"I just don't understand how I could forget four whole hours. I mean, it's like I was drugged or something."

_Drugged or something, drugged or something, drugged or---_

And there it was. Suddenly everything became clear inside Peyton's mind. Her heart began to beat wildly as she realized what had been bothering her. Maybe Lucas felt like he had been drugged...because he was. Peyton felt her stomach turn at the thought._ Oh, Brooke, _she thought silently._Please tell me you didn't. Please oh please oh please! _She looked at Lucas.

"Come on." she said starting for the door.

Lucas frowned curiously. "Come on where?" he asked following her.

"Home." she said firmly. "I have something really important to do."

"But what about my mom's message? Didn't she need me to--"

Peyton smiled at him faintly. "All done. I figured you might have more important things to take care of this evening so I got everything squared away. It was mostly TRIC stuff anyways."

Lucas stopped in his tracks. "Peyton..."

She opened the door. "You can thank me later." she said briskly. "Believe me, you're really going to want too."

* * *

Haley slowly looked around the bedroom that had become so familiar when she first began to tutor Nathan. His basketball action figures were gone and all of his Paris Hilton posters had disappeared. Even his bedspread was different.There was no sign of the boy she'd fallen in love with in this bedroom. In his place was a man that she was only just beginning to know. She smiled softly at a familiar picture on his dresser and got up to inspect it closely. The picture had been taken at the belated engagement party that Lucas, Brooke and Peyton had thrown for them what seemed like so long ago. Karen had impulsively taken the picture after all the guests had gone and she'd caught the five of them having a corny group-hug moment. She picked it up and smiled down at it noticing for the first time that her and Lucas arms were wrapped around one another and her cheek was pressed against his heart while his head rested gently against hers. The others were sqeezed into the picture with them, but the expressions on her and Lucas' faces...it was as if they were the only two people in the world. Haley's smile faded. Had it _always_ been that way between them? Had their feelings always been their hovering beneath the surface, waiting for them to get a clue?

"Yes it has." Nathan suddenly said from the doorway.

Haley dropped the picture. "What?" she stammered.

"My room." He said motioning around with his chin as he slowly walked into the room carrying two hot cups of hot cocoa topped with heaping mounds of whipped cream . "It's really changed. That's what you were thinking, right?"

Haley nodded quickly picking up the picture only to almost drop it again and she caught Nathan's curious stare as she set it down carefully.

"Here you go." Nathan said and she gratefully took one of the steaming mugs from him.

"Thanks." she said sinking onto his bed. "You have no idea how much I needed this."

"You're welcome." He said sitting down beside her. "Grandma left me her ultra secret triple-fudge cocoa recipe before her and Grandpa, and mom left for Hawaii. She knew that I'd need one every now and then."

"Thank you Grandma." Haley breathed as she took a sip of the sweet drink. Nathan grinned and took a long swallow.They sat in comfortable silence for a long moment before he looked at her, his eyebrows arched questioningly.

"So," he said slowly. "are you going to tell me why?"

Haley looked at him. "Why what?"

"Why you really needed this hot cocoa?"

Haley looked away. Her eyes drifted to the picture she'd been studying closely and she took another long swallow before looking at Nathan. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours." she said teasingly.

Nathan chuckled. "I forgot how good you were at that."

"At what?"

"Dodging direct questions." he said with amusement. Haley smiled and he looked at her for a long moment. Long enough for her to begin to feel uncomfortable. Lucas words suddenly drifted through her thoughts unbidden. _Nathan still has strong feelings for you Haley. Feelings that go beyond friendship..._She cleared her throat.

"Really, Nate you seemed upset when you came over." She looked at him."What was wrong?"

Nathan looked down at the cocoa in his hands. "I was just thinking about my dad a lot today and it started to get to me. And I was alone and I just needed someone to be here, you know?" He looked at her. "And you were the first person that came to my mind."

Haley smiled. "Really?" she said. Nathan nodded and Haley's smile widened before fading away completely.

"Do you want to talk about him? About your dad?"

Nathan schrugged slightly."Not really." he said. "It kind of just helps that you're...here. You know?"

Haley smiled. "I know."

She sipped her drink and looked up just in time to catch him staring at her again. She raised an eyebrow questioningly."Yes?"

"Your turn to show me---I mean, _tell _me yours." he grinned taking a drink.

Haley smiled wryly. "Gee, thanks."she said. She took a deep breath and stared down in her cup for a long moment, pondering what she should say. The part of her that didn't want to lie to him, was bursting to tell him everything. But she knew that it was too soon. Nathan couldn't find out about her and Lucas yet, especially with the conditions of his relationship with his brother still so shaky. Her and Lucas had decided on one week so she only had about that long to bridge the gap between Nathan and Lucas. And that's exactly what she intended to do.Still, she felt sick about not telling him the truth when he was being so transparent with her. It seemed unfair somehow, like she should give him something back...Maybe if she told him a half-truth...

"Well...I just--I realized today just how...important and special relationships really are. And how important forgiveness is when dealing with these relationships." She looked into his eyes."The people in our lives who we love and who love us are _so_ precious Nate, and we need to treasure them no matter what happens." She touched his hand. "No matter what." she repeated. Nathan looked at her for a long moment before turning away. He stood and emptied his cup with one last swallow, his back rigid and straight.

Haley could see that she'd hit a very sore spot but she kept on talking. "It can be so, _so_ hard to forgive, Nathan. But when we do, it helps us so much more than it helps the person we're forgiving because it makes us let go of so much hurt and anger. It lets us live our lives---"

"Haley, I get it." Nathan suddenly interrupted her. "I get it, okay? I know what you're hinting at and I know who you're talking about and...I hear you. I really do. But I really can't deal with any of that tonight. _Especially_ not tonight." His voice broke and Haley frowned.

"Nate?" she said uncertainly.

He turned his back to her and she stood and rested her hand on his shoulder. Only then did she notice that they were shaking with silent sobs. She peered at his face speechlessly. Nathan was _crying_! His tears streamed down his face wetting the collar of his shirt but he didn't make a sound as Haley looked up at him.

"Nathan, what's the matter?" she asked helplessly."Tell me what's wrong!"

"I know that you're right," he managed to gasp. "about Lucas, about forgiveness. But it's hard! It's so hard to let go of the anger. And then I think, how can I forgive my brother...when I can't even forgive my father? Even on today--"

His voice broke and Haley slid her arms around him, her own eyes filling as she heard the pain in his voice.

"Today?" she whispered as he rested his head against hers. "What happened today, Nate? What happened to you?"

"Nothing." he said bitterly. "Nothing happened today--to me or more importantly my dad. No, my father is still just a corpse lying six feet under ground. He'll never move and he'll never grow and he'll never change. Even if today..." His voice broke and shattered against her hair."Even if today is his birthday."

Haley's mouth fell open as he sobbed silently in her arms. "Oh Nathan..." she whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry..."

She felt tears falling from his face unto hers but she didn't wipe them away. Instead they ran down her cheeks and onto her chin...mixing with her own.

And they held each other as they cried.

* * *

Brooke slid down into the hot bubble-filled water with a contented sigh. The bathroom glowed dimly with the light from the twenty-five candles she'd lit and Aqualung crooned from the stereo in the adjoining room. She lay back against the bath-pillow and let the water soothe her tense muscles one by one as she stared up at the ceiling thinking about the events of the day. She felt like the day had gone on and on in what seemed like an endless chapter in a very long story that just wouldn't_ end_. And she was glad that it was finally drawing to a close but...her brow furrowed as she remembered the look on Peyton's face as she struggled with telling Brooke the truth.

Brooke had felt like her chest was about to burst open when her friend took her hands and opened her mouth. She'd thought it was over then. That maybe Peyton was really a great friend after all and maybe one friendship would be salvaged when the whole ugly mess was over. She'd looked into her friend's eyes and willed her to speak, while every nerve in her body screamed at her to open her mouth and tell her the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but.

And then Peyton had dashed her hopes in one breath. She'd been a coward and Brooke had felt the anger rush back in then to fill the empty hole left in 'hopes' place but she'd still felt horrible. It had taken every ounce of strength in her body to smile and pretend that she was happy and everything was okay. But she'd managed... And then Lucas and Haley had walked in. She'd expected to feel vindicated then, she'd thought that their crushed faces and tense smiles would make her feel even better. But then she'd looked into Haley's pained brown eyes...and she'd felt even worse. By the looks on all of their faces, her plan was obviously working very well, but if it was...why did she still feel so damn unhappy? She should feel great, afterall everything was falling into place. But she didn't.She hadn't thought it'd be possible but...she felt worse.

Brooke slid down into her bath until her head was completely underwater. Everything was silent for a moment except for the beating of her heart and it was very peaceful and calm allowing her a moment of complete serenity. Maybe...maybe it was time to let it all go. Maybe her plan was getting out of hand and she just needed to cut the liars loose and move on. She had other friends, and she _could_ make more. She _was_ Brooke Davis, afterall. People waited in line just to stand by her in the hallway at school.

She slowly slid back up and wiped her face, taking deep breaths of air. All it would take was one phone call and she'd be surrounded by a new group of friends by the first day of school. Just one phone call...But suddenly Peyton's face drifted into her thoughts, laughing happily her blond curls shining around her face. Then Lucas followed, his eyes smoldering blue heat as he grinned at her in that sexy way that only he could pull off. Nathan chuckled by soon after, his grin arrogant and teasing as he winked. And then Haley, her smile sweet and patient and wry, her brown eyes warm and filled with love...Brooke felt tears running down her cheek and she slowly wiped them away. She didn't want new friends. She wanted her old ones back! But that wouldn't happen, it couldn't. Except for Nathan, they had all made sure of that. And she hated them for it, for taking away the one thing she'd thought she could count on and trust...their friendship. She covered her face with her hands and lay there for a moment, her face sad, her eyes closed as memories caused them to flutter behind her lids. Yes, she would never forget them...and they would never forget her when she was done with them.

She opened her eyes and grabbed her wash cloth. It was time to begin the final phase of her plan and put the final nail in the coffin of Lucas and Haley's so-called romance. She wiped at the last tear on her cheeks, her face immobile and hard as she splashed water on her face. She would _not_ let herself cry again until it was all over. Only then would she sit down in some quiet corner by herself somewhere and let it all out.Only then...

But not now. Not one more tear would be wasted on her former friends until the fat lady...or the petite redhead sang--whichever. Somebody was going to be singing a sad song when the dust settled and it wouldn't be her.Nope, no more tears from Brooke Davis, she was all cried out. She sniffled as a single tear slowly slid down her cheek and into the water, evaporating into the bubbles...much like her faith in her friends. Another tear followed and another, and she closed her eyes against the ache in her chest.

Okay, she thought silently. Maybe just one more...

She covered her face and cried into the magnolia-scented bubbles.


	28. I Trust You But I Don't

**Again, thanks for your reviews! They are inspiring:)**

I Trust You But I Don't

Peyton silently crept into the room her and Brooke shared without making a sound. The music blaring from the stereo was loud enough to cover any noise she made but considering what she was about to do, she still wanted to make as little noise as possible.She realized that it might be safer for her to look through Brooke's things in the morning but she felt more secure knowing exactly where Brooke was while she was snooping and from her vantage point, she could see her friend resting comfortably in the bathtub completely oblivious to her presence. Knowing Brooke's extreme appreciation of all things bubbly and scented, she was sure that she had at least ten more minutes to search for what part of her was still hoping she wouldn't find...Mrs. Davis happy pills.

Her stomach twisted sharply and she grimaced in the dim room. Just thinking about her suspicions made her sick but she was afraid that she might be right.When Lucas had absently murmured that he felt like he'd been drugged, Peyton had suddenly remembered an afternoon last summer when her and Brooke had found Mrs. Davis passed out on a lounge chair in the Davis backyard. Peyton had been alarmed, especially when she'd spotted the open vial of pills beside Brooke's mother's chair. But her friend had calmly explained that the pills were only de-stressors that her mom took to calm her overly-anxious nerves and that they made her feel so at ease that she barely knew what she was doing or saying whenever she took them. To demonstrate, she'd shaken her mom awake and asked her if they could borrow her Mercedes for a roadtrip to California so that they could pick up sailors and drag-queens. Mrs. Davis had smiled foggily and told them yes after asking them to pick up some tortellini for her in San Francisco. She and Brooke had had a great laugh over it but a small part of her had always thought the whole experience was strange and it had stayed with her...and now here she was hoping beyond hope that her best friend hadn't used them for reasons that were far from medical.

She frowned at the thought but she resolutely crept across the room and slowly opened Brooke's top drawer. She rifled through it but she found nothing so she closed it and moved on to the next one but--nope, no pills in there. She paused and listened, her heartbeat pounding in her ears as Brooke started to hum along with the CD before continuing her search. She rifled through all the drawers and then all the compartments of her friend's six empty Louis Vuitton suitcases and still found nothing and she sat back and frowned, confused. Was she not looking in the right places, or was she just completely wrong? Maybe Lucas had been really,really tired that morning and he'd given into his exhaustion and...well, spoken without thinking. Or maybe Brooke was so in love with him that she'd just--just misinterpreted what he'd said! Either way, both explanations made more sense than Brooke drugging a guy so that he'd make love to her! Brooke Davis could walk into a gay bar wearing no make-up, sweats and second-hand Jimmy Chu shoes and still leave with the best looking guy there! She didn't have to drug anyone, let alone a friend. So why would she drug Lucas? No matter how much she wanted him, the desperation of it all was just not Brooke's style. It wasn't like her at all...Unless...

Peyton's face lost all color as another more disturbing thought suddenly came to her. It wasn't Brooke's style to drug a guy so that he'd be with her...but it was her style to drug a guy if he hurt her really bad. It _was_ her style to get revenge. Through any means necessary...

Suddenly Peyton heard the bath water gurgling down the drain and her heart stopped. As quickly as she could, she pulled off her jeans and her t-shirt and toed her sneakers off before jumping into her bed and underneath her covers...just as Brooke walked in. Brooke jumped startled when she saw her.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in." she said wrapping herself in a towel." How long have you been here?"

Peyton yawned and wiped her eyes sleepily. "Just a few minutes." she said tiredly. "How was the bath?"

Brooke sighed blissfully. "Refreshing." She looked at Peyton. "So did you and Lucas get everything done?"

Peyton pulled the blanket closer to her body. "More or less. There's still some things that we need to sort out."

Brooke sat on the bed and squirted some lotion into her palms. "Really?"she asked."Like what?"

Peyton surveyed her friend closely. Brooke slowly spread the lotion on her arms before grabbing some more and rubbing her shoulders. She didn't look even remotely upset or guilty. In fact she looked very serene and calm. There was no way she knew about Lucas and Haley. There was just _no_ way. No one who felt any emotion at all would be so calm and collected after finding out that their friends weren't being completely honest with them.Especially someone with as much heart as Brooke. It just wasn't possible...Was it?

Peyton shook her head and exhaled loudly and Brooke glanced at her curiously.

"What's up? What's that about?" she asked absently.

Peyton sighed. "Oh, nothing." she said quietly. "I'm just really tired.Too much going on in my head, you know? I feel like I'm thinking too much."

Brooke nodded as she dropped her towel and lotioned the rest of her body."I know what you mean." She said thoughtfully. She pulled on a camisole and some pajama shorts. "I keep on thinking about this morning, about me and Lucas, and I can't get his words out of my head. You know about him loving me and wanting me in his life." She ran a brush through her damp hair and turned to look at Peyton. "How do I look?"

Peyton stared at her unsure of what to say. "Um, good...why?"

Brooke smiled mischieviously. "Because I'm going to pay Lucas a little visit,that's why. Maybe continue where we left off this morning." She giggled and turned to look in the mirror, and she didn't see Peyton's alarmed expression.

"Um Brooke, I don't think that's a good idea. Lucas is _so_ tired. In fact I'm pretty sure that he's already asleep--"

Brooke turned and grinned at her. "Then I'll wake him up. I know just how to do it." she turned and walked towards the door.

"Brooke, wait!" Peyton cried.

Brooke whirled around at the anxious tone in her friend's voice. She frowned. "Peyton, what's wrong?" she asked.

Peyton thought quickly. She felt horrible for misleading her friend but she couldn't let her walk into another disaster tonight, and she couldn't let Haley go through a repeat of the fiasco that morning. She had to do something--anything to keep Brooke in that room. And she knew just what would do it.

It wasn't hard for her to bring tears to her eyes because her pain was real and it was still fresh...and she was going to use it to keep her friend from making a terrible mistake.

She let the tears fall as she reached for Brooke who took her hand and sat beside her on the bed.

"Peyt, what's wrong?" she asked.

Peyton wiped her eyes. "I just really need a friend tonight." she whispered. "So much has been going through my mind lately but... no matter how chaotic it gets,Jake is still always there.I've really been missing him Brooke. I thought that it'd get easier but it's getting harder to let him go everyday." She looked into her friend's eyes and tried to smile but it didn't quite reach her mouth. "I thought that as more time went by, it wouldn't be so hard---not seeing him, or hearing his voice, or touching his face...but it is." She covered her mouth with her free hand. "I really miss him, Brooke. I would give anything to see him or--or hear from him. An e-mail or a letter, that's all I want. Anything, just to hear how he's doing. Why won't he let me know how he's doing? That's all I need, a phone call, a letter---something.Anything..." She covered her face with her hands and cried into them.

So she didn't see the guilty look on Brooke's face or the sudden way her cheeks flushed a dark, pink. And she didn't see her sidelong glance towards Karen's oak chest or the tight frown that touched her mouth. No, Peyton was too busy trying to ignore the ache inside of her. So she didn't see a thing.

* * *

Lucas stared up at the ceiling fan that whirled noiselessly above him. The day had finally ended but he was still filled with so many raw emotions that he could barely close his eyes. He didn't even want to sleep eventhough he was really tired. All he wanted to do was see Haley, to talk to her and hold her. He needed to know that she was okay.They had not really talked about what had happened between him and Brooke that afternoon and when he'd tried to bring it up again in the truck on their way home, she'd said that she believed him and asked if they could talk about it later.But the look in her eyes when she'd tried to smile...It had been guarded and unsure, and he'd hated it. He wanted her to be sure of him and everything they shared. He wanted her to be alright and he knew that she wasn't...not completely.

Lucas ran his hands through his hair in frustration and glanced at the clock beside his bed with a slight frown. It was well pass two o'clock in the morning and Haley was still gone. He sat up and his frown deepened.Where was she?

As if on cue, his cell phone rang and he glanced at the caller ID before flipping it open.

"Haley." he said softly." I was just thinking about you."

Haley was silent for a moment. Then, "Hey."

He listened to her breathing for a second before climbing off his bed. "Where are you? Are you on your way?"

Haley was silent again. "No. Actually that's why I'm calling you. I'm going to spend the night here."

Lucas paused. "Where exactly is...here?" he asked slowly.

"At Nathan's." she said in one breath.

Lucas frowned. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not Lucas." Haley said softly. "Nathan had a really bad day today and he needs someone to be here with him, and his mom and his grandparents are in Hawaii."

Lucas resisted the urge to swear. "So he needs you to hold his hand while he sleeps?" he asked cynically.

"Lucas--"

"No, Haley I'm just trying to understand what you're telling me." Lucas said in a low voice. "You're spending the night with your ex-husband alone in his house...and that's just supposed to be alright with me?'

"Yes." Haley said simply.

Lucas ran a hand through his hair. "Really? Why's that?"

"Because you can trust me." Haley said. "Because you know I love you. And because I found you in bed with your ex-girlfriend this morning. That's why Lucas."

Lucas closed his eyes. He _knew_ she was still dealing with it. He knew that she'd forgiven quicker than she'd been able to forget.He took a deep breath.

"Haley. I don't know what to say."he said quietly. "I hate this. I hate that you're not here with me and I hate that you're with Nathan." He paused. "And I hate that you're still upset, Hales. We need to talk about what happened some more. We need to figure this out. Together."

"I know." Haley said softly. "I know we need to talk." And he heard it in her voice then. The pain she was feeling and her love for him despite her confusion. His heart ached inside his chest.

"Haley..." he whispered. "Please come home." he said closing his eyes."Please..."

Haley was silent. "I can't Luke." she finally said. "Nathan really needs me to be here tonight. He's all alone and I just can't leave him right now. And I think that--that maybe we need this. You and me, just for tonight. I need to clear my head, Luke. Please understand." She paused and Lucas heard her crying.

"Haley." he whispered.

"I just wanted to let you know where I was so you wouldn't worry, okay?"she said quickly." I'll see you in the morning."

"Haley---"

"Goodnight."

"Haley, wait---"

"I love you Lucas."

She paused and Lucas heard her breathing softly as she waited for his voice.

"I love you too." he finally said. She hung up and he listened to the dial tone for a long moment before he finally closed his phone. He dropped it on his dresser before running a hand through his hair and sitting down on his bed. His eyes were closed and he didn't notice Brooke walk in and stand in front of him. Even when she lightly touched his hair, he didn't sense her presence. It was the scent of magnolia and vanilla that opened his eyes. He jumped when he saw her there.

"Brooke." he said quietly.

"Hey." she said sitting down beside him. He stood right away and her eyes followed him as he walked to his bureau. He looked upset and she was sure that she was the last person he wanted to see but that didn't perturb her in the least. She'd been listening at his door and she'd heard his entire conversation and she intended to make him feel worse than he undoubtedly already felt. But of course...he didn't need to know that.

"Where's Peyton?" he asked turning to face her, his arms tightly folded against his chest. Brooke slid back onto his bed arching her body sexily as she did.

"She's asleep." she purred huskily. "But _I'm_ not and you're not either." she patted the bed beside her. "So I thought that we could continue our little...nap from this morning." she winked at him and Lucas looked away from her.

"Actually Brooke," he began slowly. "About that--"

Brooke's eyes widened innocently. "Yes?"

Lucas looked at her intently. "Was I...was I maybe acting a little...strange or--different after we ate?"

Brooke tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean did I seem...unaware...maybe? Of what I was doing?"

Brooke confused smile melted into a sultry grin as she stood slowly. "No, not at all." she said meaningfully. She walked to him and ran her hands up his chest."Actually, you seemed_ very_ aware." she purred. "Especially when you helped me slide out of my shorts---"

Lucas pulled away from her. "Brooke I--"

Brooke interrupted him. "Hey, do you know where Haley is?" she suddenly asked, picking up an old picture of him and Haley when they were thirteen from his dresser behind him. Haley was perched on his back and they were both laughing hysterically at whoever took the picture and Brooke smiled down at it before carefully putting it back.

"I just looked in her room and she's not there. Where is she? She did come back home...didn't she?"

Lucas looked down at the picture. "She's at Nathan's." he said quietly. "She's spending the night there."

Brooke's eyes widened. "Really?" she said incredulously. She clapped her hands excitedly. "Go, Nathan! He sure is making quick progress. I guess, he's reading all the signs, huh? At this rate, he and Haley will be back together in no time!"

Lucas looked at her. "What do you mean, reading all the signs?"

Brooke tilted her head. "Um Luke, all of Haley's signs, duh! He can see that she's still really into him and he's trying to get her back."

Lucas was shaking his head."Haley isn't into Nathan, Brooke. She cares about him but that's all."

Brooke chuckled. "Oh, boys, boys, boys. They'll never learn." she giggled. "Of course she's into him Lucas!Haley will _never_ be over Nathan. He was her first in practically _everything_! And trust me, a girl never forgets her first. Besides, a girl doesn't stay overnight with a guy unless she's _really_ into him and she was head over heels for Nathan once. Believe me,even if she doesn't realize it now, she will pretty soon. She loves him! All it will take is Nathan batting those dark blues at her one time and it'll be lights-out for sure. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if they are making up for lost time as we speak." She stopped talking and smiled thoughtfully shaking her head, but she was really watching Lucas beneath her lashes... and his expression made her smile widen.

She could see his emotions warring with one another, trust trying to overide jealousy and uncertainty. For a moment it looked like doubt might win the battle...but then his features evened out and she saw the clear look of dauntless certainty shining from his eyes. She scowled internally. _Damn Lucas unbending confidence_ _in Haley!_ she thought silently._Would it freakin' shatter, already!_ On the outside, she was smiling seductively.

"Anyways, enough about those two love-birds.Where were we? Oh, yeah..." She slid closer to him, putting her arms around his neck before he could move, but he managed to pull from her grasp and back away.

"Actually Brooke, I'm really exhausted. Can we talk tomorrow? I promise you'll have my complete attention.Right now I can barely keep my eyes open."

Brooke smiled. "That's actually a requirement for what I want to do with you---"

Lucas gently pushed her away. "Brooke...really, I'm serious."

She stuck out her bottom lip pouting as she looked at him. She could see the resolve in his eyes and she swore mentally. There was absolutely no way that Lucas was going to be seduced that night, no matter what she did, or wore...or _didn't_ wear. She'd wasted a magnolia-soak for nothing. She sighed. Oh well, her plan _was_ still working. She was sure that she'd planted enough food-for-thought in Lucas mind for the night at least.There was no way he was getting _any_ sleep.

"Okay." She said with a sweet smile."Raincheck." She reached forward to give him a friendly hug and he froze in her arms at first, relaxing only when he realized that she wasn't trying to undress him.

"Goodnight." she said.

He hugged her back. "Goodnight, Brooke."

She walked to his door. "We'll talk tomorrow." she said with one last wink before opening the door.Then she paused and turned to face him.

"Oh, one more thing." she said looking at him thoughtfully. "When Haley moves back in with Nate, do you think that I can move into her room? Peyton snores like a trucker." When Lucas didn't answer, she heaved a deep, resigned sigh. "Okay,okay, I guess it _wouldn't_ be fair to get first dibs since Peyton was here first right? I get it, she gets first choice." She dimpled. "My bad. Okay, see you in the morning."

When she left, Lucas sat staring at the closed door, his mind a blank slate except for her parting words which reverberated in his head again and again. _When Haley moves back in with Nate...When Haley moves back in with Nate...When Haley moves back in with Nate..._

He didn't get any sleep that night.


	29. Liar Liar, Pants On Fire

**Hey Henka, missed ya!**

Liar Liar, Pants On Fire

The bright light streaming from between the blinds was what woke Nathan up the next morning. He blinked twice before stretching slowly and turned his head to glance at his alarm clock, but his eyes rested on Haley instead. He lifted his head with a start and then slowly lay back, his eyes studying the contours of her face as she slept. They had talked late into the night and neither of them had meant to, but evidently they'd fallen asleep right where they lay...on his bed. He smiled faintly as he stared at her. He'd forgotten how innocent she looked while she slept. It was something he used to tease her about when they were married, how he sometimes felt like he was sleeping with some wide-eyed fairy-tale nymph whenever he woke up beside her. She always looked so small and peaceful and lovely lying there beside him. Back then, it had been all he could do not to wake her up and ravish her over and over again...

He felt his heartbeat begin to increase inside his chest as his eyes travelled across her face. It felt so familiar to him, being this close to her, smelling her watermelon-scented hair. It almost felt like the past year hadn't happened at all, like they were still married...like she still belonged to him.

Her hair was in her face and he couldn't help reaching for a stubborn curl resting against her cheek but after he brushed it away, his fingers stayed where they were and he touched her face gently. A strange feeling of familiarity mixed with nostalgia and regret spread through him and he frowned, wishing it away...just as she opened her eyes.

She looked at him for a moment blinkling sleepily as he smiled, before she slowly smiled back with a tired grin of her own.

"I guess we talked ourselves to sleep." she murmured.

"_We_?" Nathan chuckled. "I beg to differ. Your voice is the last thing I remember hearing, Lil' Red. I believe the words _school_ _rocks _and _valedictorian_ were the last words you uttered. No wonder I dozed off..."

Haley mouth fell open and she stuck her tongue out goodnaturedly. "Whatever, jealous." she giggled. "Just remember those words next summer when I'm up on the podium giving my speech." she said proudly.

Nathan's grin softened."I will." he said. They smiled at each other...until Haley suddenly remembered where she was and whose hand was on her cheek, caressing it gently. Nathan saw the look in her eyes change from one of peaceful haziness to sudden dawning realization and... some other emotion he couldn't quite fathom. It looked like guilt but that couldn't be it, that wouldn't make sense. Even so, she pulled away just as he dropped his hands and they lay there in ackward silence, both contemplating what to say as the light peeking through his curtains grew brighter.Haley slowly sat up and looked at his bedside clock and her eyes widened with alarm.

"That can't be right." she murmured, climbing off the bed. Nathan sat up and looked at the time.

"Yeah, that's about right."

Haley stared at him. "That's the right time?" she cried."It's one-thirty!"

Nathan chuckled. "Haley, it's okay. I'm not sure but...I think you won't be grounded."

Haley exhaled loudly and looked around the floor for her shoes. "It's not that Nathan, it's just that Lu..."

Her voice faded away as he waited expectantly and she bit her bottom lip aware that she had almost let everything slip out in her anxiety.

"It's just that what?"

Haley took a deep breath. "It's just that...lunchtime is long gone and we're only just waking up. Peyton and the others must be wondering if I'm still alive."

Nathan sat up. "Well, they know you're here. I'm sure they aren't worried Hales."

Haley found her shoes and slipped them on. "I know but still...I need to go." she looked at him. "Can you drive me home?"

Nathan looked at her confused. "Okay, I'll take you home." he said jumping off his bed. "But how about we grab lunch or something first? I've been wanting to try out that new mexican restaurant over on Kay street and I heard they make a mean chicken quesadilla." he smiled at her, his eyebrows arched, his eyes hopeful. "What do you say?"

Haley stared at him. At any other time that would have sounded great, but that day...Her mind wandered as she thought about Lucas and what must be going through his head. She couldn't do that to him. After the way they'd left it the night before,she was sure that he was going out of his mind. She needed to see his face, _wanted_ to see his smile. She wanted him to hold her and know that everything would be all right. But more than that, she knew that they needed to talk about everything they'd avoided talking about the night before...and they needed to do it now. She shook her head.

"I need to get home Nate." she said apologetically. "Raincheck?"

Nathan tilted his head charmingly. "Hales! Come on, it'll be fun and I know you're hungry. Please? With an NBA championship on top?"

She giggled at his expression and was shaking her head just as his phone rang...

"Think about it." he said grinning. He flipped open his phone. "Talk."

"Hey Nate, it's Brooke. Don't say my name just listen."

Nate frowned. "Okay..." he said slowly.

"I need to see you like right now." Brooke said hurriedly. "Do you know that new mexican restaurant on Kay street? Meet me there in fifteen minutes."

"Can't. Have plans."

"Please Nathan! I really need to talk to you, it's an emergency. Just meet me there, I'll tell you all about it as soon as I see you,okay? Later."

She hung up and Nathan listened to the dial tone for a long moment before he closed his phone with a sigh.

Haley looked at him curiously. "What was _that_ all about?"

Nathan sighed dramatically. "Just some random, hot cheerleader asking me out on a date." he said breezily. He looked at her. "So I'll take your raincheck and raise it with a raincheck of my own."

Haley smiled. "I like those odds."she joked. Then she frowned goodnaturedly. "Wow, dumped in the span of one whole minute.That must be a record somewhere in the world."

Nathan schrugged. "Hey, I'm an athlete,and she's a cheerleader. It's like peanut butter and jelly. One always ends up on top of the other."

Haley's mouth fell open. "Ewww! You're such a jock..." she teased.

"Hey, _you_ married me." he pointed out.

Haley nodded thoughfully. "How true..." She looked at him curiously."So this cheerleader, does she have a name?"

Nathan averted his eyes as he walked to his bureau. "I'm pretty sure she does, but all I heard was _cheerleader_."

At Haley's wry smile, he grinned and pulled off his shirt.

"Oooh an actual cheerleader." she teased." Wouldn't want to keep _her_ waiting, would we."

"Not if we're male and breathing, nope." he said smoothly.

Haley shook her head as he tossed his shirt on the hamper. "Some things never change."

Nathan looked at her as he sorted through his drawer, looking for a clean shirt. He held one up for her approval but she made a face and he put it back.

"Actually, I beg to differ oh wise Red-headed One." he said holding up another shirt. She gave him a thumbs-up sign and he pulled it on.

"Oh really." she said walking over to him to help him with his collar. "How so?"

"Well, who would have thought that you, my ex-wife would one day be helping me get ready for a date with another girl?"

Haley paused, her hands motionless on his collar. She nodded. "Touche." she agreed."You seemed to have won this round Scott."

Nathan smiled smugly and she pushed him away.

"But don't forget, looks can be deceiving." She reached up and kissed his cheek. "I'll be in the car. Waiting ever so patiently..." she winked and turned to walk out of the room. Nathan stared after, waiting until she left before the smile faded from his mouth. He looked into the mirror and stared at his drawn face as the ache in his chest that he'd woken with, continued to spread to his heart.

"Looks can be deceiving?" he whispered. "Don't I know it." he said softly."Don't I know it."

* * *

When Haley got home, she walked in and closed the front door softly behind her. She didn't call out and the house was quiet and still...and very reminiscent of the day before when she'd found Lucas and Brooke... together. She felt her heart lurch involuntarily inside her chest and she leaned against the door. _Haley, calm down._She told herself firmly._What happened yesterday will _never_ happen again.It won't..._She took a deep breath and walked through the kitchen towards Lucas room. On her way, she passed Brooke and Peyton's but she didn't look inside. She only wanted to see one face at that moment. Just one...

Lucas bedroom door was partly open and she peeked in. He was standing by his window staring out and she watched him for a moment as he stared intently at the sky.He seemed deep in thought and she almost didn't want to interrupt him. Almost.

"Hey you." she said softly. He turned at the sound of her voice and his eyes held so much emotion that they brought tears to her own.

"Hey." he said simply. And then they were moving towards each other...and she was in his arms. And he was kissing her cheeks and her forehead...and her mouth. They held each other tightly and a little desperately as they kissed, as if by doing so they could become one. They could melt into each other a little bit and never let go and not face anything but one another...but she knew that was impossible. They were seperate people who had to deal with a very real issue. No amount of kissing would change that.

No matter how mind-blowing it was...

She made herself pull away from him. "Lucas--"

"I missed you." he said quietly. "Last night. I wanted to be with you so much."

Haley's eyes softened. "I know." she whispered. "Me too. I missed you too. But I had to get away for a little while---"

"I understand." he said nodding resolutely. "I know you needed that."

She turned and looked at the door. "Brooke and Peyton?"

"They went shopping. Peyton said that they'd probably take a few hours."

Haley nodded slowly. Lucas hands were on her cheeks and she looked into his eyes as they pierced her own.They were silent for a long moment. Then Lucas took her hands in his.

"We have to talk about it, Haley." he said quietly.

Haley looked away."I know. I just don't...I don't know what to say."

"Tell me what you're thinking, how you feel--"

Haley shook her head. "I can't." she said brokenly. "I don't even know how I feel about what happened."

Lucas nodded. "You do, Haley." he said."I can see it in your eyes. You're feeling a lot. Tell me." When she didn't say anything, he tilted her head so that he could look into her eyes.

"Haley." he said softly. "I want you to know that what happened between me and Brooke was a mistake. A horrible mistake that I can't undo, no matter how much I want too. But I never meant for any of it to happen---"

"I know---"

"Do you?" he asked her intently. She pulled away and his eyes followed her to his bureau. She stared down at the picture of them when they were younger.

"Haley."he said slowly."I don't think you really, trully believe that what happened between Brooke and me was a mistake and I understand that. I mean, how can I expect you to believe that I don't remember anything we did, or how it happened? How can I expect you to believe something that doesn't even make sense to me?" he looked at her. "But that's the truth. I don't know why I did it--any of it, because I didn't want to be with Brooke and I still don't. I'm in love with you. I only want to be with you."

Haley looked into his eyes. "And I believe that Luke. I know that you love me and I want to believe that what happened was just an unplanned mistake." she said earnestly."But there's this small part of me that just can't let it go.I just don't understand how you could end up in bed with her...by accident. It doesn't make sense!"

A tear ran down her face and he was at her side in an instant. He took her hands again and held them tightly in his.

"I'm sorry, Haley." he whispered wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I'm sorry! What can I do? How can I make this better?"

Haley looked into his eyes. "I don't know." she said shaking her head."I don't know Lucas." He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers and her tears touched his face.

"But I do know that I love you." she said softly. He opened his eyes and stared into hers. "And I know that you would never hurt me." she took a deep breath. "So whatever happened between you guys yesterday, had to be a mistake because being with you feels too right to be what's wrong. And if this is what _should_ be...then what happened with you and Brooke was the mistake...not us."

Lucas smiled slowly, brushing her hair from her cheek. "No, not us." he said. They smiled at each other as he touched her hair and he tilted his head."Can you hug me now?" he asked softly.

Haley smiled. "Yes." she said sliding her arms around his waist. "but only if you kiss me."

Lucas eyes were shiny with emotion as he looked at her. "Your wish," he said kissing her forehead gently. "is my command."

He held her closely as his mouth touched hers, his lips brushing alluring against her again and again. It was a passionate kiss, soft but filled with emotion and his gentleness touched her heart. He poured everything he felt into that kiss. Love, passion, regret, relief, desire--Haley felt everything that he felt at that moment as his lips pressed against hers and his tongue penetrated her mouth, stilting her breath as her heartbeat increased. She felt a slow heat begin to rise steadily inside of her. Lucas mouth left hers to burn a pathway down her throat to her collarbone and she felt her body ignite with a warm heat.

"Haley...?" Lucas whispered against the pulse in her throat. Her name was a question on his lips and she knew what he was asking but she didn't answer him. Instead she backed away towards his bed, her hand in his leading the way. She pushed the straps of her camisole from her shoulder and watched as his eyes darkened to a deep blue.

"Make love to me, Lucas." she said softly easing onto his bed. His arms were around her in an instant pulling her close as his lips crashed into hers. His body covered her own, their heat enveloping one other as their clothes quickly found their way to the floor.

And their bodies melded together as if they were made for each other from the very beginning.

* * *

Brooke glanced at her watch impatiently.

Nathan was twenty minutes late and it was making her bad mood even worse. She'd woken with a headache that no pill could seem to ease and on top of that,Peyton had had little to no sympathy for her. In fact, her friend had been acting strangely all day. As if she had the right! On top of that Lucas had locked his door and wouldn't respond to any of her knocks or cajoling eventhough she'd used all her best stuff. He'd even claimed he wasn't feeling well and thought it might be a stomach bug that he didn't want her to catch. But she knew the truth. He was upset over Haley's impromptu slumber party with Nathan and Brooke's parting words to him the night before couldn't have made things any better, but still...considering the whopping secret-lie he was keeping from her, he could have been a little more accommadating to her. And then to add insult to injury, he'd suggested that she go shopping with Peyton so that she wouldn't catch whatever he had just so he could get rid of her.

Brooke frowned to herself. Like she was some pesky house-guest that he didn't want around! Her frown deepened as she remembered Peyton's expression. Surprisingly, Peyton didn't seem to want her around either and she couldn't figure out why. She'd quickly asked Brooke to go shopping with her after Lucas had suggested it and she had oblidged, but she was starting to grow weary of the strangely-disappointed looks that Peyton had been shooting her all day. And when they continued even after Brooke treated her to a shopping spree at _Rocked Hard_, Peyton's favorite CD store, she decided that she'd had enough.

She'd told Peyton that she was going to go look at shoes, a chore she knew her friend would quickly abstain from--which she had. And after agreeing to meet her in an hour, she'd called Nathan and driven to _Chacha's_, the new mexican restaurant that had recently opened up in Tree Hill. And now here she was waiting for Nathan who was _really _going to get a piece of her mind if he ever showed up!

She sighed with irritation as the waiter who'd seated her approached her again. "Ma'am are you ready to order?" he asked politely. She glared at him.

"Do I _look_ like I eat?" she seethed. The waiter's face reddened as he stared at her. "Go away." she said dismissively. The waiter hurried away from the table and Brooke shook her hair from her forehead.

"Great. Now he won't come back for my order."

Brooke looked up as Nathan pulled out a chair and sat down across from her. She frowned.

"It's about time!" she said irritatedly. "What, did you get lost at your house or something? I know jocks are stupid but I thought that you could at least tell time!"

Nathan glared at her. "Nice to see you too Brooke. Bye." He stood to go but Brooke caught his hand

"Sorry." she said quickly. He looked at her. "Really Nate, I'm sorry. " she said sincerely. "I've just had a rough morning and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, please stay."

Nathan exhaled loudly and sat back down with a short nod. He picked up a menu but Brooke could tell that he wasn't seeing the items on it even though he was staring at them intensely. Her eyes narrowed as she peered closely at him, noticing for the first time a slight resemblance between him and Lucas. Both of their jawlines became very prominent when they were upset and right then---Nathan was more than a little rattled. And Brooke had a pretty good idea why.

She cleared her throat. "So...what took you so long?" she asked absently glancing at her menu. Nathan glanced at her before looking back down at his.

"I had to drop Haley off first." he said shortly.

Brooke nodded slowly. "Oh." she said. "So how's that going?"

Nathan scowled at her. "How's what going Brooke?" he asked.

Brooke leaned closer to him. "How are you and Haley going?" she asked. "Are things...progressing?"

Nathan shot her a look. "Listen Brooke, Haley and I are just friends, okay? And we only just started back on that track. So that's it. We're just friends, nothing more.End of subject."

Brooke nodded thoughtfully. "Okay." she said again. " I just thought..." she schrugged. "Oh well,never mind what I thought. I guess it doesn't really matter."

Nathan looked at her. "What did you think?"

Brooke schrugged again. "I don't know, the way you look at her and the way she looks at you...I guessI just thought that there were still feelings there--"

"There _are_ still feelings there." Nathan interrupted. "There will always be feelings there Brooke, she's my ex-wife. But that's it. Haley and I will never be together like that again. It's over."

Brooke watched as his expression fell after his last comment. The relationship might be over for Haley, she thought but it wasn't over for Nathan. No, he was still feeling Haley in a very big way! He was obviously still in love with her whether he realized it or not and for a moment Brooke paused as she watched him. She needed Nathan in order to get to the final phase in her plan but... what she had planned could potentially break his heart. It might even destroy what little of his and Haley's relationship they'd managed to salvage from the debris of their failed marriage.

No matter how arrogant and sometimes cruel Nathan had been throughout their friendship, he had never hurt Brooke the way the others had. Even now at what was obviously a bad time for him, Nathan was there for her when she needed him. He really didn't deserve to feel any of the wrath she intended to bring down on her three other so-called friends.

She looked at him thoughtfully. Then again, she really did need his help in order to end the whole charade. Although he was completely unaware of it, Nathan was the key in the last phase and without him, none of it would happen the way she planned. She bit her lip. It really couldn't be helped. Nathan was going to be hurt when the truth came out anyways. What did it matter _how_ he found out? He'd probably never speak to her again when he realized how she'd used him and she felt a touch of sadness at that thought. She'd always had a special place in her heart for Nathan because out of all their friends, they were the most alike and more importantly, they both loved to party. She would really miss him...

She looked at him resolutely. She just needed him to help her with this one last thing.Then she'd leave his heart alone--and she'd make it up to him. She knew at least five cheerleaders who would give their right cheer-arms to help her.And anyways, he'd be better off without Haley in his life.Heck, at the end of it all, he'd probably even thank her for opening up his eyes! She was sure he would...

She took a deep breath. "Nathan, I really think that you and Haley still have a shot at being together...and I think that a part of you wants that shot more than anything."

Nathan frowned at her, his eyes hard in his head, ready to deny what she'd said, but then they softened and he looked away.

"Brooke, Haley and I are just friends." he repeated, but this time his voice was softer and filled with pain. Brooke felt her heart lurch guiltily inside her chest but she continued.

"But you don't want that do you?" she asked gently. "You want more."

Nathan looked at her wordlessly and Brooke nodded.

"Well, did you ever think that maybe Haley wants more too? That maybe she's just afraid to bring it up because she's the one that hurt you?"

Nathan frowned. "Did she...did she say that?" he asked.

Brooke looked away hoping that her expression held just the right amount of guilt over saying too much and regret for being found out. She glanced back at Nathan to see what he was thinking. And for a moment, she regretted what she'd told him. His eyes were filled with a slowly dawning hope as he stared off into the distance. And his smile--his smile was so bright that it took Brooke back to a time when they were kids and he was still innocent and naive about life. A time before he knew of his talent and his looks and what it meant that he was wealthy. A time when he was just Nathan, her friend. And at that moment, she felt very low. Lower than she ever had. She opened her mouth.

"Nathan--"

"So what else did she say?" he asked excitedly.

Brooke closed her mouth. It was too late. The damage was done and she had to finish what she'd started.

She was going to burn in hell.

"Well, she said that she missed you." she said slowly."She said more than anything, she missed being held by you and when you kissed her."

Nathan grinned. "She said that?" he asked brightly. Brooke felt her head begin to pound. Her headache was on its way back in full force and...she deserved it. She nodded wordlessly and Nathan looked away, smiling into thin air like Haley was right there beside him. Brooke sighed. Keep going, Davis, she told herself. Finish what you started.

"I have an idea!" she said as if the thought had just struck her at that moment and not weeks ago.Nathan looked at her.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"Why don't you ask Haley to go with you to the grand re-opening of TRIC tomorrow night?" she said excitedly."I bet she'll say yes."

Nathan looked at her skeptically. "Do you think?"

"I _know_!" Brooke said emphatically. Nathan nodded slowly.

"I think that you should take her to the re-opening and sometime when you get a moment, you should tell her how you feel. And then...kiss her. You know, one of those kisses that she's been missing so much."

Nathan stared at her. "You don't think that would be too much...too soon?"

Brooke shook her head."No! You guys were each other's first love! I mean, you were _married_! I think that kissing her would remind you both of what you once had."

Nathan tilted his head thoughtfully.He hated to admit it but Brooke's suggestion sounded pretty good. He wanted to be with Haley again more than anything and the fact that she wanted to get back together with him too,lit up his world. He missed her so much, it literally hurt him when he had to drop her off that day. That's why he'd been so late. He'd driven around trying to shake off the feeling for a few minutes before seeing Brooke but it hadn't worked. Until now. Now he knew the truth and he felt---happier than he had in a long time. Haley wanted him back too! He couldn't wait to tell her how he felt, how much he'd missed her and how much he needed her in his life.He couldn't wait to hold her again...and kiss her.He was going to do it. He would tell her everything. At TRIC.

Brooke watched him. "So, what do you think?"

He grinned at her. "Brooke Davis." he said. "I think that you're a genius." He picked up her hand and kissed it and she struggled to keep the smile on her face, eventhough inside she felt like curling up and dying. She'd trully become a cold, heartless bitch. And it was all Lucas and Haley's fault. She grinned brightly. Oh, they are going to pay, she thought silently. They are so going to pay for making me do this.

Nathan smiled at her as he picked up his menu. "So," he said slowly. "Why did you need to meet me anyways?"

Brooke frowned. "What?"

"The emergency you told me about on the phone?" he said slowly. "What's up?"

Brooke smiled. "Oh that." she said dismissively. "It's okay now. I heard that they were thinking about cutting cheerleading this year and I thought if anyone knew about it, it'd be you but then I bumped into Mouth at the mall and he told me that it was all just a rumor so..." she dimpled. "Thanks anyways."

Nathan frowned at her in disbelief. "Are you serious?" he asked."You called and asked me to meet you...for that?"

Brooke smiled. "Uh, huh." She glanced at her watch and stood. She only had ten minutes to book it to the mall to meet Peyton and she was sure she'd be late but as she looked at Nathan, her smile widened. Oh well, Grumpy can wait, she thought with satisfaction.I think I'll take the long way to the mall... She opened her bag and dropped a fifty on the table.

"Hate to not eat and run but I've got to go," she said breezily. "Lunch is on me." She kissed Nathan's forehead and started to back away from the table. "So, hey I'll see you at TRIC tomorrow night?"

Nathan stared at her wordlessly and she waved. "Okay, see you there! Ta!"

She hurried out of the restaurant leaving a bewildered Nathan shaking his head. He turned and stared at the fifty she'd left just as the waiter he'd seen earlier walked up to his table.

"Can I take your order sir?" he asked politely. Nathan picked up the menu and surveyed it slowly. Since he was already there...

"I'll have the number three with a beer to drink please."

"ID?"

"Make that a rootbeer." he said swiftly.The waiter smiled knowingly and took the menu that Nathan handed him along with Brooke's abandoned menu and glass of water. He turned to go but stopped and looked at Nathan quizzically.

"May I ask...was that your girlfriend, sir?" the waiter asked.

"Brooke?"Nathan said shaking his head quickly. "Oh, no. She's just a friend of mine. No, she's definitely not my girlfriend." He paused. "My girlfriend--actually my ex-wife is much nicer."

The waiter looked surprised. "Ex-wife and still in high-school?" Nathan nodded. "Wow." he said. He looked at Brooke's empty seat. "Still, you're a brave man..."

Nathan chuckled. "Thanks, but she's not usually like that. She just thought she got some very bad news today and it put her in a mood. Usually she's a koala bear. Really."

The waiter nodded slowly his eyes wide with disbelief. "Sure." he said as he started to move away. "I understand. I have three sisters and the way she was acting...let's just say that I've seen more than my share of upset girls. I mean, it sucks getting dumped."

Nathan grinned. "Dumped?" he said. "Oh, no, she wasn't dumped." The waiter looked surprised and Nathan chuckled. "Sorry, man but you were wrong. She got some other bad news."

The waiter frowned. "Really? I'm usually pretty good at reading these things..." he schrugged. "Oh well. Everyone's wrong sometime."

Nathan smiled nodding. "Don't worry about it, we all have off days. But anyways, no one dumps Brooke Davis." He chuckled, amused at the thought. "No one in his right mind anyway! I feel sorry for the poor bastard who'd even try."


	30. The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

The Sun Will Come Out...Tomorrow

Lucas gazed down at Haley as she smiled at him, her expression one of blissful numbness. She was slowly running her fingers around and around on his chest in a tantalizing pattern that was driving him absolutely crazy.

"Haley..." he said breathlessly. "Keep on doing that and I'm going to have to do more of what I was just doing to _you_ a couple of minutes ago."

"Mmmm..." Haley smiled. "You promise?" she teased.

He grinned and flipped her over, pinning her down with his body and she giggled as he slowly kissed her neck, his tongue finding her pulse point. She moaned and drew him closer as he continued to kiss a slow pathway down her neck, to her collar bone and further down till his nose nuzzled her breasts. She arched against him and he licked her nipples slowly moving from one to the other and back again.

"Lucas..." she whispered as his mouth enveloped her, gently caressing each rosy tip with his tongue, his teeth causing a delicious friction as they slid against her. She writhed against his mouth until he kissed a trail back up to her lips and she pulled his face down to hers, kissing him passionately as their limbs entangled on his bed. She wrapped her legs around his waist, opening herself up to him, feeling his desire for her as he started to press into her. But then her eyes widened suddenly.

"Lucas!"she cried against his lips. He looked at her, his eyes dark with a passionate haze, slowly clearing as he realized what they'd almost done. He reached into the drawer of the bureau beside his bed and pulled out a condom and she stared at him momentarily frozen. An ice that quickly melted under the fire that he ignited in her as she felt him move inside her, deepening their union with every thrust and movement. She clung to him and they moved together whispering words that mirrored the deep emotion each of them felt as their bodies slid together again and again...until their feverish movementsslowed and became tender and gentle and then still.

She rested her head against his damp shoulder as she tried to catch her breath and he held her closer, their bodies rising together with each breath they took.When their breathing slowed, she looked at him.

"I love you." she whispered. "And that was beautiful and wonderful and every other word that means amazing." She shook her head. "...And it was too close Luke."

He brushed the moist curls from her forehead. "I know, Hales. I'm sorry I--"

Haley shook her head. "No, Luke I'm as much to blame as you are. I almost didn't notice that we weren't...protected either." She buried her face in his neck and he caressed her back. "We just...we lose control so quickly with one another." she said softly.

Lucas nodded. "I know." He bit her shoulder gently. "I just can't get enough of you." he mused. "My mind disappears when I touch you and all I want to do is..." His voice faded away as he demonstrated what he wanted to do to her and she pushed him away, laughing at his bereft expression before hastily pulling him back to her. She wanted to be as close to him as much as he did, if not more. She was already dreading the thought of having to let him go before the others got back.

She sighed into his shoulder and he kissed her temple before turning onto his back, pulling her with him. She snuggled on top of him, resting her chin on his chest as they smiled at each other but her grin soon turned serious as their eyes locked.

"Lucas, we really have to be more careful." she whispered as he pushed her hair behind her ears. "This was pretty close. Too close. We can't afford to make a mistake and..." her voice softened. "We can't afford to get...pregnant. That would make what we're going through right now seem like a cake walk in comparison. And besides, neither one of us is ready for that kind of responsibility."

Lucas watched her, his eyes suddenly softening as they met hers. "You're right." he said nodding quietly. But his eyes stayed on her face, slowly travelling across her features as she gazed back.

She frowned bemused. "What?" she asked curiously. "What are you thinking?"

Lucas stared at her for a moment longer, a soft smile playing across his mouth. He touched her cheek. " I was thinking...about a little girl with big brown eyes and long lashes." he grinned. "Just like yours."

Haley's eyes widened as she stared at him, her eyes shining as he looked up at her. She smiled. "And blond curls," she added in a soft voice, "and a devil may-care smile...just like her daddy's."

Lucas grinned. He felt like his heart was growing inside his chest, expanding under Haley's chin propped on top of him. And he saw it suddenly in his mind. Lifting up a laughing little girl and twirling her in the air while Haley slid her arms around his waist, smiling happily. Being the father that he'd never had in Dan.The picture widened his smile and he looked at her as she lifted herself foward until their noses almost touched.

"One day?" she said softly.

He smiled, brushing her hair from her cheeks. "One day." he whispered back, drawing her face closer to his until their lips touched. They kissed softly, reverently, both unable to pull away as their lips spoke more than either of them could say. When they broke apart, they were breathless and she touched her forehead to his turning with him in his arms as he held her closer. They stared at one another, her fingers gently tracing the length of his jaw.

"One day.." he repeated quietly.

She smiled, but then quickly tried to cover it as she sat up abruptly." Yeah...but not today so... you need to keep on covering up your goodies."

Lucas laughed. "My...goodies?"

Haley smiled. "Yup."

Lucas nodded thoughtfully. "Okay, I'll cover up my goodies. Come and help me."

She laughed as he reached for her and twisted from his grip. "No, cover up your goodies yourself!"

Lucas pouted. "But I want _you_ to do it." he said.

She giggled at his adorable expression but shook her head."Nope. Cover them up and keep them on your side of the bed..."she grinned. "For another few minutes or so."

She shrieked as he grabbed her and started tickling her. "I'll show _you_ a few minutes." he teased, his fingers flying across her ribs.

She giggled hysterically, gasping for air. "No Luke, stop! Lucas!"

She twisted in his arms trying to wiggle free and as he gazed down at her, the twinkle in his eyes was replaced by something else, something more. Haley's laughter died on her lips as he brushed the hair from her eyes.

"You are...so beautiful." he said wonderingly. "Do you even know how much?"

Haley smiled, suddenly aware that she was completely uncovered and his eyes were on every part of her. But she felt no shyness with Lucas. She suddenly knew that she would never feel shy with the person who knew her better than anyone, ever again.

"No, I don't know how beautiful I am." she admitted softly. " But when I look into your eyes, I feel it."

Lucas smiled slowly, lowering his head to kiss her tenderly and she wrapped her arms around him, reveling in the feeling, never wanting to let him go. She felt the heat that he ignited inside her, warm her body as his kisses intensified and left her lips to discover other parts of her.

He reached for his bureau...

* * *

Brooke glanced over at Peyton who sat in the passenger seat staring thoughtfully out the window. She hadn't spoken a word since Brooke picked her up, even when she'd been fifteen minutes late. Peyton had only nodded slightly, climbed into the VW and buckled her seatbelt. That had been eight minutes ago and she was still as silent as a church in Las Vegas on sunday morning.Brooke sighed with mounting irritation.

"Sorry." she said abruptly. "For being late. I guess I wasn't keeping my eyes on the time---"

"Don't worry about it."

Brooke glanced at her friend again. She'd finally spoken and yet...her tone had been entirely too unfriendly. Brooke frowned.

"Okay. Well...did you find anything especially fabulous in the--"

"Nope." Peyton said shortly.

Brooke nodded as she gazed out her windshield. "Really? I just thought that since you have four bags, something you bought must be--"

"Brooke, I have nothing in any of these bags that would interest you, okay?"

Brooke's mouth fell open. She stared at her friend incredulously."Okay, what the _hell_ is your problem, Peyton?"

Peyton folded her arms across her chest. "Nothing." she said

"Like hell, nothing!" Brooke interjected. "You've been pulling some serious attitude all day! What's up _your_ ass?"

Peyton exhaled loudly. She was quiet for a moment. Then, "Look Brooke. You're right I've been moody all morning but...it has nothing to do with you. I just have a lot on my mind right now--"

"Like what?" Brooke asked, her voice softer. "I'm your best-friend Peyt. Let me in, maybe I can help."

"I'm just nervous about the opening tomorrow night, you know? Karen's not going to make it and she's trusting me and Lucas to make sure everything works out. It's a lot of pressure and I'm nervous as hell.That's all."

Brooke shook her head. "Peyton, that's crap! I've known you for how long? There's _no way_ that TRIC's re-opening is what's got you trippin' out like this! Now tell me what's really bothering you. You know I'm a genius when it comes to solving problems. I can help you figure this out, just tell me!"

Peyton shook her head. "Thanks Brooke, really. But...there's nothing you can do.I need... I really need to figure things out on my own." She sighed. "But I'm sorry for the attitude. Really, you...you don't deserve it. Sorry."

Brooke bit her lip at that. Actually...she probably did. For a while there, she'd wondered if maybe Peyton's attitude was being fueled by the knowledge of her hidden letters. But now...well, she was pretty sure that Peyton didn't know about them. If she had, Brooke was sure that she'd have a hand imprint or two on her cheek...and possibly a couple of bruises. Peyton tended to get violent when she was very angry and Brooke had no doubt that her friend would be completely livid if she ever found out about the letters. She frowned unhappily and glanced over at Peyton who was intently punching something into the key pad of her phone.

"What are you doing?"

Peyton glanced at her. "Oh, I'm just checking my text messages, you know to see if maybe Jake... maybe he sent me something."

Brooke looked away guiltily as Peyton continued to check her phone. Her face felt warm and she hoped that Peyton wasn't watching her because she wasn't sure she'd be able to explain her reaction. She wasn't sure she'd be able to speak past the lump in her throat at all.

* * *

Lucas was softly kissing Haley's shoulder when his phone beeped. Haley was dozing peacefully and he gently pulled away as he reached for his phone. She shifted closer to him and he smiled as he flipped open his phone and read the message there before he closed it and tossed it back. He wrapped his arms around her and she smiled sleepily opening her eyes. She blinked at him.

"Hey cutie." she whispered.

"Hey beautiful." he said gently brushing her hair from her cheek.

She snuggled into him. "Did I hear your phone?"she asked.

Lucas sighed. He waited, revelling in her nearness for a moment before he slowly sat up. "Yeah, that was Peyton." he said. "Her and Brooke are almost home."

Haley sat up quickly. "They're almost here!" she cried. She climbed out of bed and looked around the floor, quickly grabbing her clothes as Lucas slowly climbed off after her.

"Haley." He said reaching for her waist as she attempted to pull on her t-shirt. "Haley." She paused as he said her name again, her heart hammering against her ribs. She looked into his eyes as he put his hands on her cheeks.

"Haley, what we're doing isn't wrong." he said quietly. He chuckled lightly. "We're not outlaws on the run. Quit acting guilty."

Haley took a deep breath. "I know." she said softly. She rested her forehead against his chest for a moment as a feeling of calm replaced her anxiety, before looking at him. "You're right. We're not committing a crime but... I just can't help feeling like...like we're betraying Brooke."

Lucas nodded. "I know." he said. "But we're not betraying her.We just need to tell her the truth." Haley frowned and he caressed her cheeks. "I love you and you love me...and we need to tell Brooke that. Tonight."

Haley's heart sank as she looked at him. She knew that he was right. Her whole idea about waiting a week was just...just impossible. They couldn't do that to Brooke. Or each other. Their afternoon together had proved that. They could barely stay away from each other for a few hours! It would be torture to keep it up for a whole week. And besides, Brooke deserved more than that. Brooke deserved more from _them_. She took a deep breath and covered his hands on her cheeks with her own.

"You're right." She said softly. "We need to tell her the truth." she looked at him."But not now. We can't ambush her with this when she gets home."

Lucas looked at her. "Haley--"

"Let's tell her tomorrow night after the party at TRIC. In the evening after we all get back. We'll go to her together and tell her everything."

Lucas frowned. He couldn't shake the feeling but he suddenly wanted to tell Brooke everything right away. He wanted it all to be out in the open as soon as possible no matter what the consequences were. He didn't understand why but there was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that was telling him not to wait. And the feeling was getting bigger by the moment...

"Haley, why tomorrow? Why not now when she gets home? I really feel like we need to end this as soon as possible--"

"Lucas," Haley said as she pulled away from him and reached for her jeans." There was a reason I wanted to wait a week in the first place remember? Nathan."

Lucas ran a hand through his hair. He turned and grabbed his jeans from the floor and pulled them on."I know Hales." he said with frustration. "And I understand, I do. But I think that Nathan will be able to handle this now." He zipped up his jeans as he looked at her. "He talked to me yesterday."

Haley paused in her hasty attempt to make his bed. "What?" she said surprised."Nathan talked to you?When?"

"Last night." Luacs said schrugging into his shirt. "When he picked you up, he...he I don't know, acknowledged my presence?"

Haley smiled slowly walking to him. "Lucas, that's great!" she cried throwing her arms around him. He smiled into her hair and she pulled away, grinning happily.

"See?" she said pinching his chin."I knew he would come around. I knew he would get over this...this ridiculous grudge he has against you!"

"Haley, let's not get ahead of ourselves here." Lucas said lightly." He acknowledged that I was standing in the room, he didn't invite me over for tea."

Haley grinned. "But he will." she said brightly. "He will Lucas. Don't you see, that was just the first step." She slid her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. " He's coming around Lucas. All I need is one more day with him." She looked into his eyes."Please?" she whispered. "Please Luke, I need this. _We_ need this."

He stared into her eyes and everything inside him yelled at him to say no. To convince her that telling Brooke right away was the best thing to do. But Haley was gazing at him in that way that made him want to wrap her in his arms and never let go. And her eyes were so clear and sure...He just couldn't say no to her. He'd never been able too, even when they were kids.And now it was close to impossible.

He nodded and she smiled and held him closer. "Thank you." she said softly. "Thank you Luke." She looked into his eyes and drew his head down to hers touching their foreheads before she kissed him. He let himself go as they kissed trying to quell the anxious feeling in his stomach, but it wouldn't go away. It twisted inside of him even as they fell onto his bed lost in each other's warmth. It began to fade as they held each other tightly,their lips melting together breaking away only when they heard the sound of Brooke's stereo as she pulled into the driveway.

Haley stared down at Lucas, her fingers caressing his hair as he looked up at her. "Tomorrow?" she said.

He nodded resigned and she kissed him again softly before climbing off his bed and walking to his door.

"Olive juice." She whispered with a smile before quickly slipping out and he stared after her as he heard Brooke and Peyton's voices laughing loudly in the kitchen.

He looked up at his ceiling fan, the sick feeling returning in full-force to slide around inside of him. "I love you too." he said softly.

Then with a deep breath, he slid from his bed and walked to his door, waiting for a minute before he walked out.

* * *

Later on that evening, Brooke walked into the living room and found Haley folding some laundry on the couch.

"Hey." she said.

She saw Haley pause momentarily when she flounced into the love seat and turned on the t.v but she pretended not to notice, absently changing the chanels until she found a show that looked interesting.

"Hey yourself." Haley replied, glancing at the t.v screen. Her eyebrows arched with interest. "Wow. Who're they?"

Brooke smiled. "They, my dear friend are Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, the future daddies to all my babies."

Haley laughed. "Lucky girl."

She shook out one of Lucas' t-shirts surreptitiously caressing the material as she folded it. It was one of her favorite shirts on him because its deep blue color brought out the blue in his eyes in a way that made them shine even more intensely than they did on their own. She put it down slowly, holding it for just a moment more before she picked up a pair of Peyton's jeans. Brooke discreetly watched her from the corner of her eye, trying to erase the look of disgust that she knew was on her face but it was hard. Haley and Lucas all-consuming love affair was starting to show despite their vast attempts to hide it and it was getting a little tough to take. It was fortunate that it was about to be completely eradicated because Brooke didn't think that she could take much more.

"Where's Lucas?" she asked absently.

Haley folded her shirt. "He and Peyton went to TRIC to finalize some of the preparations for tomorrow." she smiled. "This party is going to be talked about for weeks to come, that's for sure."

Brooke grinned. "I hope so." she said "That's the only kind of party I want to be affiliated with."

Haley chuckled as she folded another shirt and Brooke looked at the t.v just in time to see Jensen flash a sexy grin. She flashed one of her own waiting for a second before she casually leaned back and looked at Haley.

"So...who are you going with?" she asked

Haley frowned, puzzled. "Going...with?"

"To the opening tomorrow night, Ditzy." Brooke added.

Haley turned away, avoiding Brooke's questioning gaze. "I--I'm not sure. I was thinking that I'd go solo."

Brooke gasped. "Haley, bite your tongue! You are _way_ too gorgeous to go by yourself." She smiled slowly. "And besides, I know someone who would object to that very strongly."

Haley caught the tone in her voice and she turned around and stared at her friend hesitantly. "Brooke," she said slowly. "what do you mean?"

Brooke sat up, excitement exuding from her like rays from the sun. "Okay you twisted my arm, I'll tell you."

She turned off the t.v and pulled Haley down beside her. "I promised him I wouldn't say anything but I think that you really need to know. I mean this could be life-changing!"

Haley frowned nervously. "What could be...life-changing?" she murmured.

Brooke grabbed her hands. "What I have to tell you, Haley. It's something that you've been waiting for all summer." She looked into her eyes. "Nathan is still in love with you!" she whispered. "And he wants you back."

Haley stared at her, completely speechless and Brooke grinned. "I know! When he told me, I was blown away too! But then I think I always knew that you two would end up back together."

Haley blinked. "Brooke I--"

"And when he told me, he was so vulnerable Haley! You should have seen the tears in his eyes when he said how much he missed you and how broken he felt without you in his life." Brooke eyes were wide. "He cried, Haley." she whispered. "Nathan Scott actually _cried! _I haven't seen him cry since kindergarten when Phillip Harris punched him in the face. And he lost a tooth!"

Haley took a deep breath. "Brooke--"

"He's so fragile right now Haley." Brooke continued absently. "It's like his world hasn't been quite right since you left him." She looked at Haley. "I honestly think that you're the only person that could make him feel happy again Haley. I know you didn't mean to break his heart, but you may be the only one that could put it back together again."

Haley wordlessly stared at her friend. Brooke was speaking with so much sincerity and concern that she could barely look away. She was stunned at Brooke's revelations, but she shouldn't have been. Afterall, Lucas had told her what Brooke was saying right now. Nathan _was_ still in love with her. No matter how much she wanted too, there was no denying that fact. Everything that Brooke was telling her right then attested to that truth. And she realized that a tiny part of her had begun to wonder that day at Nathan's house when they'd had a picnic. She'd glanced up and found him watching her several times and once...there had been a look in his eye. A look that she'd recognized from before when they'd been married. The look he'd get right before he'd kiss her. And she'd wondered...And now Brooke words were telling her that she'd been right. Nathan was still in love with her.

And she didn't know what the hell she was going to do.

She was deep in thought and Brooke was watching her intently, so they both jumped startled when Haley's cell phone rang loudly on the table beside them. Haley grabbed it and flipped it open quickly. She hoped it was Lucas. She suddenly needed to hear his voice desperately.

"Hello?"

"Hey Hales. Are you busy?"

Wrong Scott brother.Her eyes widened as she gazed at Brooke. _It's Nathan! _she mouthed to Brooke. Brooke grinned excitedly and shot her the thumbs-up sign. Haley felt like curling up into a ball right there on the floor. She stood up.

"No,I'm not busy..." she said slowly." How are you?"

"I'm fine...you?"

Haley nodded and then realized that Nathan couldn't see her. "Yeah, I'm good." she said anxiously. She ran a hand through her hair. "How did your date go?"

Nathan paused. "Date? Oh..you mean earlier..that wasn't so much a date as it was lunch--with a friend."

"Oh. Okay." Haley said.

"But it went good. We need to check out _Chacha's _together one day when you have a chance.They make a killer enchillada"

"That'd be fun."

"Yeah it would..."

Haley bit her lip. She could hear a nervous edge in Nathan's voice and she sensed that something was coming,something big...and she was wishing with all her might that it wouldn't. She heard Nathan take a deep breath.

"Actually I was calling to ask you if you have a date for TRIC tomorrow night." he said quickly." I was thinking that if you didn't that maybe we...you and I could...go together?"

Haley closed her eyes. She felt like her heart was slowly coming apart, breaking all over again because...she could hear it. In his voice. In the way that he was speaking to her and the nervousness in his tone. Nathan Scott rarely got nervous especially when it involved a girl. He barely broke a sweat on a hot day asking _anyone_ out. Unless... Haley sat down on the couch, her hand on her forehead. Unless his feelings for the girl went deep. Soul deep. As deep as they obviously went for her. Haley closed her eyes. Too late, she finally realized that Lucas had been right all along. They should have told everyone the truth about them from the very beginning. Before the whole thing had gotten so totally out of hand. She'd wanted to save her heart and then Brooke's, and finally Nathan's. But in the end, she'd just end up breaking them all. She'd made a mistake, and they would all pay the consequences. Every single one of them.

"Haley?"

"Yes." she whispered. "I'll go with you tomorrow night. That would be great."

She saw Brooke grin happily and wink at her, nodding her approval and she smiled back...

...if only to hide the tears that threatened to fall.


	31. Tick,Tick, Time Bomb

**Hey guys, thanks so much for the reviews! Keep that up ;)**

Tick,Tick ,Time Bomb

Peyton stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. It was friday--finally. TRIC's opening was several hours away but she'd been awake for hours already. She hadn't gotten a goodnight's sleep all week and it was beginning to show. There were dark circles under her eyes and her hair which she'd recently gotten cut and straightened, hung limply against her cheeks. And her skin from the top of her head to every visible part of her body peeking out from underneath her towel, was almost translucent--it was so pale. To say that she looked terrible was an understatement.

The afternoon sunlight sliced through the bathroom window just then brightening the little room and she frowned at the irony of it all. Outside, birds were chirping brightly and the sky was an impossible blue covered here and there with fluffy cotton-candy clouds, and yet here she was standing all alone in her bathroom staring glumly at her pitiful self, feeling anything but happy.

And it was all Jake's fault.

Well, mostly anyways. The guilt that she continued to feel daily over the secret she was keeping from Brooke, added to her uncertainty over the pills she was not quite sure Brooke had slipped Lucas, were also tearing at her a little bit everyday as well. She felt like she was being pulled in three different directions and all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head--anything to drown out the lies and the confusion, and the sadness, and everything else that was making it hard for her to smile lately. But she couldn't. Luke's mom was counting on her to be the grand hostess of the night and she couldn't let her down. She had a job to do and she was going to do it as best as she could. And when it was over, she would go somewhere and let it all out somehow. Maybe she would scream and cry,or maybe she'd hit something. Or maybe she'd just drive. As far and as fast as she legally could...and maybe even a little illegally. Yeah, that's what she'd do...later.

But right now she needed to get ready. It was only three in the afternoon but she wanted to be at the club at least two hours before its opening at eight and glancing at herself again she knew that it was going to take _at least_ three hours to make herself look even remotely presentable. She took a deep breath and turned on the faucet. First things first...

She picked up her toothbrush.

* * *

Brooke was rifling through her closet when she saw Lucas walk by her bedroom door.

"Lucas!" she called out. "Hey Luke, can you come here for a minute?"

Lucas walked into the bedroom. "Yeah? What's up?" he asked.

Brooke whirled around. She was wearing a red halter top dress that swooped dangerously low in both the front _and_ the back and she turned around very slowly so he could get a very thorough view.

"What do you think?" she asked."For the opening tonight?"

Lucas smiled appreciatively. "I think that you're going to break a few hearts tonight Brooke Davis."

Brooke smiled slowly. _Don't _you _know it,_she thought silently. She looked at Lucas and curtsied. "Why, thank you." she said. " But I'm still not sure."

She turned and stared at her closet thoughtfully. "Right now, I'm stuck between this dress and..."

She paused and reached for a shimmery rose-colored silk dress she'd bought the previous day. Before Lucas could blink,she loosened the knot at the back of her neck and undid the dress,letting it slide to the floor. As she reached for the other dress, she saw Lucas quickly turn and head for the door.

"I like the red one." he called back as he stepped into the hall.

Brooke hid her smile. "Wait, Lucas you didn't even see this one--"

"That's okay, I like red.Go with the red." He was already down the hall headed towards the kitchen as Brooke slid into the dress and hastily followed.

"Hey!" she said breathlessly as they walked into the kitchen. "Where's the fire?"

Lucas carefully glanced at her, saw that she was dressed and sighed. "Brooke..."he began slowly. "I know that we're good friends--better than good even." he said carefully."But we're not dating.You can't just...take your clothes off in front of me anymore." His voice softened. "Actually, you probably shouldn't do that in front of anybody unless you're sure it's what you _really_ want to do."

Brooke stilted her intense desire to roll her eyes. Lucas was giving her advice about sex! When he and Haley went at it like bunnies whenever they thought they were alone? _Lucas _was giving _her_ advice? She'd practically taught him everything he knew! And then they'd learned some more together! But she didn't spew out any of the venom that wanted to fly out of her mouth. Instead she bit her tongue and smiled. Sweetly.

"You're right." she said. "I'm sorry. I guess it just feels natural to be like that with you." Lucas looked away and she stepped closer."You know...especially since wednesday afternoon..."

She moved even closer and Lucas backed away--right into the counter. She rested both hands on either side of him and looked over his shoulder out the window...just in time to see Haley climb out of Peyton's car.

She leaned against him, moving provocatively as he attempted to slide away. "You know," she whispered. "We never did get to finish what we started. Our..._conversation _kind of took a slightly disappointing turn...don't you think?" She leaned towards him and he gently tried to push her away, but not before she softly kissed his chin.

"Um, yeah Brooke about that..." He began as he moved her away and slid around her, but Haley walked into the kitchen just then humming under her breath and his words faded away. She froze when she saw them standing there.

"Hi." she said ackwardly.

"Hey." Lucas said quickly walking to her and taking the bags from her hands. She stared at him and he smiled reassuringly and kissed her forehead. "What did you get?"

Brooke grinned broadly. "And please tell me that something in one of those bags is for me! I know I only went shopping yesterday but I'm already suffering from severe shoe withdrawal!"

Haley glanced from Lucas to Brooke. "Actually...I did buy you something." she said slowly. She reached into one of the bags that Lucas was holding and pulled out a stuffed pink flamingo and held it out to her."This is for you."

Brooke frowned, puzzled. "Okay...thanks?"

Haley smiled. "Remember when you told me about that flamingo you once saw when you went with your parents to Miami? You said that it was the most beautiful thing that you'd ever seen...and that it was the last time your family went on vacation together." She smiled and handed the toy to a stunned Brooke.

"I--I told you about that?" Brooke said softly.

Haley nodded. "Yeah, don't you remember? It was the night I filled in for the Cheerleading competition.Peyton conked out but we stayed up all night talking..."

Brooke was nodding as she stared at the furry toy in her hands. "That's right." she said softly. "You listened to me all night. Eventhough you were so exhausted..."

Haley chuckled." It wasn't so bad. And we became closer that night."

Brooke stared at her speechless and Haley continued.

"Anyways, when I saw that flamingo, I thought of you so--I bought it. I know it was silly--"

Brooke shook her head."No. It wasn't silly." She would have said more but the lump in her throat was too big. Haley watched her, her eyes big and sincere in her face.

"Brooke," she said suddenly. "I want you to know that even when your parents get that divorce, even when things seem like they've completely changed, you will all still be a family...but you have another one right here in Tree Hill that loves you just as much."

Brooke's eyes were full of tears as she looked at her friend. Part of her wanted to write off the toy as a pity gift. A payment of sins for her and Lucas betrayal. But another part of her, the calm, intelligent part knew that what Haley did and said was always from her heart...no matter what. She'd meant every single word she'd said and it took all Brooke's strength not to run to her and hug her tightly, but she resisted somehow. Instead she wiped at her eyes and smiled happily.

"Thank you, Haley." she said sincerely. "I _will_ always remember that. What you said, about family. It makes me feel so lucky to have people around me that I can trust and turn too."she smiled. "I really don't know what I would do without you guys." She looked at them both, noticing when Haley looked down and Lucas looked away. She held her flamingo tighter.

"Okay, okay enough with the mushies. I'm going to go finish getting ready for the party."

Haley frowned and glanced at her watch."The party? Brooke it's barely a quarter after three!"

Brooke gasped. "Oh my God! It's later than I thought!" She hurried out of the kitchen leaving Lucas and Haley staring after her.

Lucas chuckled."Wow. High Maintenance, thy name is Brooke Davis."

Haley smiled slightly and picked up the bags as Lucas suddenly pulled her closer.

"Lucas!" she whispered pulling away." Brooke could walk right back in here at any minute."

Lucas frowned at her. "So?" he said "it would only force us to do what we're planning to do tonight, a lot sooner. And that," he said pulling her back into his arms. "would really be okay with me."

Haley couldn't help resting her head on his chest for a minute as he kissed her hair. "That was sweet Haley." he said. "What you bought for Brooke."

Haley smiled slightly. "Thanks."she whispered."I just wanted her to know that I care about her. She's going to need to remember that...after tonight."

Lucas nodded, frowning faintly and she pulled away again after a moment and looked up at him.

"So...are you going to tell me what your little tete-a tete was all about just now or do I have to guess?"

Lucas frowned puzzled. "Tete-a-..." his eyes slowly widened as he registered what she was saying. "Oh that."

Haley tilted her head. "Yes...that."

"That was just...Brooke being Brooke." he said finally. He looked into her eyes."It. Was. Nothing." he said puntuating each word meaningfully as he said them.

Haley stared at him. She believed that it hadn't been what it looked like...but it had been _something_. Lucas didn't blush easily and his cheeks had been more than a little flushed when she'd walked in. She sighed. The sooner they got everything out in the open, the better. She couldn't wait for the party to be over. She closed her eyes and rested her head on Lucas's chest again.

"I can't wait for tonight." she said softly."I can't wait until _everything_ is out in the open." She looked up at him. "I am so _sick_ of secrets! Remind me to never tell one ever again, okay?"

Lucas grinned. "Your wish..." he said softly leaving the rest of the sentiment unspoken. He hugged her close for one last moment before dejectedly stepping away from her. She smiled when she saw him stick out his bottom lip.  
"Cute will get you everywhere mister." she said pinching his cheek. "Especially tonight." She picked up a _Victoria's Secret_ bag and dangled it in front of his face and his mouth fell open.

"What is that?" he asked.

"You'll find out..." she teased."Later..."

Lucas exhaled loudly."How can you do that to me now, when I'm trying so hard not to ravish you right here on the kitchen floor?" he said

Haley giggled. "Ewww, not the kitchen floor..." she said. She smiled slowly."But maybe the kitchen counter... again. Later...if you're lucky."

Lucas groaned and reached for her but she nimbly stepped out of his reach.

"Uh, uh, uh." she giggled."Patience my good man."

She smiled at Lucas chagrin expression and glanced at the kitchen door before quickly kissing him on the lips.

"There you big baby."

Lucas grinned at her and impulsively reached for her face, drawing her closer until their lips barely touched. He paused for a moment and Haley closed her eyes revelling in the softness of his hands as his fingers caressed her. They stood there like that for a long moment before Lucas finally released her.

Haley looked at him her eyes wide. "Uh, where's my kiss?" she said softly a smile playing along the edge of her mouth.

Lucas took her hands and held them against his chest. "Haley James," he said softly."the next time I kiss you will be out in the open where everyone can see...where everyone _knows_ that we belong to each other." He grinned. "The next time I kiss you, it won't be a secret.Everyone will know that I am the luckiest guy in the world."

Haley's smiled slowly, her eyes filling with tears as he kissed her hands. "Okay." he grinned. "Now that _really_ was the last time I'm going to kiss you in secret. Really."

Haley giggled and he wiped away a tear that fell down her cheek.

"I love you." he said softly.

"I love you too." Haley whispered. He backed away his eyes on her face until he was completely out of the room and then he winked and turned away. Haley leaned against the table and closed her eyes. She'd always read about it in romance novels but she'd never actually heard of a real person swooning before--not in real life...but here she was about to fall over and all because of a guy. She smiled slowly. A very _special_ guy. A soon to be completely hers guy. She grinned and put the two CD's that Peyton had asked her to pick up on the table. She was starting to hum again when Brooke walked back into the kitchen. Haley smiled at her and Brooke stopped in her tracks.

"Wow!" she said. "That is probably the biggest, most shiniest smile I've ever seen on your face Smiley Girl." She tilted her head. "Whatever you're taking, I want some. Do, share."

Haley tilted her head. "I'm not on drugs Brooke." she said. "Forgive the corn, but I'm high on life! I just feel so...happy right now. I don't know how to explain it. I don't think that I even could if I tried." She looked at her. "But I will try," she said softly. "Later."

Brooke frowned at her last words. Later? We're her and Lucas finally planning to tell her what she'd already known for weeks? She narrowed her eyes coolly. Oh no no no, it was _way_ too late for that.Her plan was going to happen no matter what.Lucas and Haley weren't going to ride off into the sunset when all was said and done. No, she and Nathan wouldn't be the only miserable people at the end of this. There was no way. She forced a smile to her face.

"Okay Pollyanna, keep your explanations to yourself then. Fine." Brooke said knowingly."But don't think I don't know who has you smiling like a dentist dream right now."

Haley's smile faded somewhat. "W-what?" she stammered."What do you mean? Who?"

Brooke stared at her. "Duh, Nathan of course! Who else?"

Haley wordlessly looked down at the CD's. She didn't know what to say. She'd explain it all to Brooke later that night, she would. But right then...she couldn't. All she could do was smile.

And change the subject.

"So, who's the lucky guy that get's to be your date tonight?" she asked smoothly.

Brooke arched her eyebrows. "Oh, Lucas didn't tell you?" she asked.

Haley shook her head. "Tell me what?"

"That he and I decided to go together." she said happily.

Haley frowned. No, Lucas had not happened to mention that tiny piece of information to her at all. Even after she'd told him that she was going with Nathan. He hadn't been entirely okay with it, but he'd understood. At least, she thought he had. Her frown deepened. But why hadn't _he _told her about Brooke?

"I'm so excited!" Brooke was saying."I think that tonight might be the night Hales. The night that we...well you know _officially _get back together. Or at least it will be if I have anything to say about it. And believe me I have a _lot _to...well--say."

Brooke smiled suggestively and Haley bit her lip and her tongue...and the insides of her cheeks. Everything inside of her was screaming to spit out the truth. Right then, before Brooke got anywhere near Lucas. Before she got him to...blush again. But she didn't say a word. She couldn't, not yet. Not without Lucas. And not without Nathan.

And not without a nice, quiet, _empty_ house away from gossiping eyes and ears--and sharp objects. And anything else that could potentially cause physical harm. Nathan and Lucas _had _fought before afterall...

Haley closed her eyes. She felt a definite headache coming on.

"You know Hales..." Brooke was saying. "Despite last time, _nothing_ is going to put us to sleep tonight. Lucas has got the broody-tough act all down and locked in but..."She leaned forward and lowered her voice"... there is this thing that I used to do to him that absolutely turned him into putty in my hands." Brooke grinned and Haley stared at her, stunned. "I think I'm going to have to give it a try tonight. And believe me, it'll work. Heck we might not even make it back from the club!" She giggled. "But if it doesn't...well I have other tricks up my sleeveless Marc Jacobs original." She smiled and winked at Haley and Haley tried to smile back but it was close to impossible.

Much like her happiness, her smile had completely melted away.


	32. The End Of The Beginning

The End Of The Beginning

Peyton glanced at her watch for the fifth time that minute.

"Peyton will you quit, you're making me nervous!" Brooke cried.

Peyton took a deep breath. "I know, I know, I'm sorry! I'm just really nervous, B. I can't shake this feeling...I feel like I've missed something!"

Lucas smiled gently and put his arm around her shoulder. "Peyton, you haven't missed a thing okay? The place looks great. You.." he paused and surveyed her shaking his head appreciatively."...you look amazing. Everything is in place and it's all because of you. " He looked at her. "You've done a great job Peyton, just look around. Everything you see is proof of that."

Peyton stared up at him. She knew that he was right. She did look fabulous. Brooke had loaned her a green belted L.A.M.B cami which she'd paired with some distressed jeans and (under extreme nagging from Brooke) green and gold Claudia Ciuti wedge heels. With a shimmery green Erickson Beamon beads necklace and sheer gold make-up, she knew she looked hot.

And the club...even with the DJ already spinning loud music from his booth, they could hear the noise of the growing crowd of people outside puntuated here and there by excited laughter and chanting. It was _already_ a great night! And she'd been a major part of that.

She looked around at the dark walls glowing with white lights and shimmering streamers and the huge silver, black, white and purple balloons that covered the ceiling. The bartenders all stood waiting behind the bar, all of them wearing black long sleeve shirts, the women's sleeveless and ruffled. They had all been instructed to only serve alcohol to those of age but she was sure that more than a few of her fellow Tree Hill High classmates would manage to sneak a marguerita or three. The dance floor was primed, polished and ready to be scuffed again and several cloth-draped tables were set up along the dimmed sides of the large main room for those who wanted to give their feet a rest...or their lips a try. Besides Karen's office, there were three rooms in the back of the club but all of them were off limits for the customers and large silver signs hung on each doorway, exclaiming just that and she was sure that they would have been completely ignored and occupied before long...had she not personally locked all of them. But they were sealed tight and besides Lucas, she was the only person that night with the keys which were securely closed tightly in the purse that Brooke had forced her to bring that night.

Peyton took a deep breath. So, everything _was_ set. All that was left for her to do was give the sign to one of the bouncers to open the door and the party would be off and running. It would be great...

She took a deep breath and frowned. If only she could shake the bad feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was going to go wrong. She shook her head.

"Peyt, are you okay?" Lucas asked concerned.

Peyton forced a smile. "Heck, yeah! Dude, we're about to party like it's 2006!"

Brooke beamed. "Now that's what I'm talking about..."

Peyton looked at Lucas. "I wanted Haley to be here before I opened though." she said hesitantly. "Where is she?"

Brooke shrugged. "Who knows." she said. "Between her and Nathan...well I'm sure this party isn't the most important thing on their minds tonight. Especially Nathan's."

They looked at her. "What do you mean?" Peyton asked slowly.

Brooke bit her tongue. "Well, I probably shouldn't say anything but..." she looked at them and smiled. "But I'm going to anyways! Nate's going to tell Haley that he wants to be with her again. Tonight!"

Peyton's mouth fell open. "What!"

"Yeah, I know isn't it exciting?" Brooke said happily. "You should have seen the look on Haley's face when I told her. She was _so_ happy. I've never seen her actually glow like that before. I mean, she was practically effervescent!"

Peyton glanced at Lucas."Haley was--happy about it?"

"That's an understatement. She was overjoyed! She said that she couldn't even explain how she was feeling to me and she was practically levitating off the floor!"

Lucas stared at Brooke. He knew that what she was saying couldn't be true. Haley couldn't have been happy to hear Brooke's news. She wanted to be with _him_. In fact they were going to tell both Nathan and Brooke just that later on that night. They would even have told them sooner but...Lucas suddenly remembered her face when she'd told him that she just needed one more night with Nathan and he frowned. One more night with Nathan...for what exactly? He shook his head mentally berating himself for even letting his mind go there.Haley only wanted one more night to make sure that she and Nate were all right--that their friendship was there again. She wanted to rekindle what they'd had before they fell in love and that was all, nothing more. She didn't want to rekindle what they'd shared when they were married. She didn't...Brooke had obviously misconstrued her reaction.

_Then why do you keep on repeating it to yourself?_ A voice inside Lucas suddenly whispered. He ignored the voice and the sudden tiny knawing in his stomach as he looked up and met Peyton's eyes. But they were filled with the same uncertainty that he felt, uncertainty that was causing the knawing to expand and solidify. Peyton stared at him wordlessly and he forced a smile.

"Are you ready to bring P.Diddy's parties to shame or what?" he asked her, swiftly changing the subject.

Peyton smiled slowly, pretending not to notice the sudden stiffness in Lucas's shoulders or the way that his jaw suddenly clenched against his cheek. Instead she took a deep breath.

"That depends...on whether _you're_ ready to bring Usher to shame on the dance floor!"

Lucas frowned puzzled at her statement. Which quickly shifted to alarm as Peyton handed Brooke her purse and pulled him onto the middle of the dance floor, nodding to the DJ who didn't miss a beat as he changed the music. Brooke laughed, her eyes widening as he stared at her horrified.

"Brooke--"

Brooke shook her head. "Go for it Justin!" she catcalled. "Make me proud and I promise to be your Cameron tonight!"

Lucas frowned. "Peyton--"

"Dance puppet, dance!" she laughed throwing her arms above her head. She winked at the bouncers at the door and they slowly opened the doors to the massive crowd who quickly poured into the room. Lucas finally laughed and stood shaking his head at her for a moment before swiftly kicking into some old school robot moves, his rapid refusals lost on his lips as others quickly crowded around them. Their bodies became an endless motion of color as they moved and swayed to the rhythm and he smiled and moved and laughed...and made himself not notice that his girlfriend's face was not among the crowd around them.

* * *

Nathan pulled his car into the packed parking lot and searched for a parking space as Haley sat quietly beside him. Haley glanced at the time on his dashboard and bit her lip. They were over an hour late and eventhough it was considered cool to be fashionably late, the fact that Peyton had asked them to be there _before_ the opening added to the fact that they were over _an hour_ late, was not cool at all. And it was all her fault. Or maybe it was the fault of some especially twisted piece of karma that had finally landed on her, she didn't know. All she knew was that luck was not on her side that night and it hadn't been since earlier that evening. 

After a long much needed magnolia-soak she'd had care of Brooke, she'd walked into her room to find the window open and the new dress she'd bought for the opening covered in the dirty water from the vase on her windowsill...or rather the former vase on the windowsill. Something--be it a sudden impossible gust of wind or the unsteady windowsill, neither of which made sense but were the only explanations--had turned the vase over onto the wispy cream coloured dress she'd planned to wear soaking it thoroughly,and forcing her to wear the much sexier red dress that Brooke had suggested she wear instead.The dress which swooped down dangerously low in both the back and the front, was _so _Brooke and _so_ not her but she'd had no choice since it was the only thing that she had that was even remotely appropriate for that night. So she'd quickly pulled it out of Brooke's closet, pairing it with dangling burnt amber earrings and matching heels, leaving her hair down only because she hadn't had time to do anything else to it.

When Nathan had shown up way before she was ready, she'd yelled for him to enter from her room since she'd only been in her underwear at the time, but when she'd walked into the kitchen to meet him, she'd regretted her desicion to wear the dress almost immediately when she'd seen the look on his face. He'd stared at her wordlessly for a long moment blinking twice before finally clearing his throat. And then he'd blushed! She'd actually made her ex-husband, son of the infamous cold-hearted Dan Scott, unbeatable star of the Tree Hill Ravens, arrogant, confident Nathan Scott...blush. She hadn't even thought it was possible for him to do so! She'd realized then that she probably should have made an effort to dress less...alluringly, especially that night but it had been too late. And Nathan had finally stammered out a greeting before leading her from the house and escorting her to his car.

It was when he missed the turn that would take them to the club for the third time because he'd been too busy staring at her, that Haley knew that she had just made a hard situation even worse. Nathan was falling harder by the minute and Haley felt her anxiety rising by the second. For the first time in a long time, she was at a complete lost. What was once a rarity had now become commonplace--the smart girl didn't know what the hell she should do.

When they finally found a parking space, Nathan swiftly pulled into it and stopped the car. He looked at her and Haley smiled self-consciously.

"What?" she asked.

"I forgot to tell you," Nathan said slowly. "You look really...beautiful."

Haley looked down at her hands which tightly gripped each other in her lap. "Thank you Nate." she said sincerely."You look great too."

He smiled and opened his door, quickly walking over to hers to open it for her. Her eyes widened slightly.

"Thanks." she said again.

They walked towards the club, the loud music echoing across the lot and Haley nodded slightly to the beat pretending not to notice the sidelong glances Nathan shot her way as they neared the building. When they got to the staircase, she started to go up the stairs pausing only when she realized that he wasn't following her.

She turned and looked at him. "Nate..? You coming?"

He took a deep breath. "Actually Haley I was wondering if I could talk to you first...before we go in."

Haley frowned. "Sure.What do you want to talk about?"

Nathan looked around them. "Not here." he said swiftly taking her hand and leading her to the back entrance behind the club. He tried the knob once before squatting to look under some boxes by the door.

Haley watched him, perplexed. "Nathan, these doors are kept locked, there's no way that we're getting in this..."

Her voice faded as he stood and produced a set of keys which he quickly used to unlock the door.

He turned and grinned at her. "You were saying..?"

Haley smiled at him somewhat unnerved. "Um, how--?"

"I have my ways." Nathan quipped before opening the door and bowing gallantly. "Shall we?" he asked.

Haley looked at him before smiling uncertainly and walking passed him. "I guess we shall." she said.

Nathan grinned as he followed her in, closing the door behind him. _Wherever you are Brooke Davis_, he thought as he pushed the keys into his pocket. _Thank you. Thank you very much..._

* * *

"You're welcome. " Brooke said. 

She held out the purse to Peyton who was quickly downing a bottle of water and ignoring Brooke's attempts to give her back her bag.

"For what?" she asked after finishing the rest of the water.

Brooke smiled. "For holding your purse of course. But now you're back and it's my turn to monopolize Lucas on the dance floor so--here."

Peyton folded her arms slowly and Brooke frowned. "Greedy--!" she cried.

"Brooke I refuse to take that purse back. I should never even have listened to you and brought it in the first place, I don't even need it!"

Brooke pouted. "But--"

"No, buts!" Peyton interrupted. "Just stick it behind the bar and I'll get it later."

Brooke pouted."But Peyt, it goes so well with your outfit!" she cried.

"So would Ashton Kutcher but I don't see him drapped across my arm!" Peyton complained. "Just put it behind the bar,okay? I promise that I won't forget it." She pinched Brooke's cheek. "Thank you!" she said before turning and dancing back onto the floor. Tim danced up to her and tried to dance against her but Mouth rescued her by grabbing her around the waist and tango-ing her to the other side of the dance floor.Peyton's relieved laughter floated back to her and she smiled slowly.

"No. Thank _you_." Brooke murmured as she picked up the purse and threw it behind the counter. Peyton had played right into her well-manicured hands... even if she didn't know it. Brooke would be sure to return her keys to the purse eventually. Just as soon as she got them back from Nathan.

She grinned and slowly surveyed the room, her eyes finding Lucas in the crowd. He wasn't very hard to find. Even in his low-key blue long-sleeve Ralph Lauren shirt and dark blue jeans, he stood out in the room, much like a lion did in a room full of kittens. His eyes were especially intense and thoughtful as he slowly looked around the room looking for the one person he'd undoubtedly been searching for all night.

Brooke was pretty surprised at how late Haley was herself. Sure she'd orchestrated it all by giving her some of her magnolia-soak bath salts, a concoction known especially for its ability to soothe and lull one into a deep state of relaxation. And sure she'd tipped the vase onto Haley's dress assuring Haley's eventual choice of the red dress that Brooke knew Lucas loved so much. But she still hadn't expected her and Nathan to take _this_ long! Once again her plan was working better than she'd hoped. She looked towards the hallway between where the back door and the back rooms met. She'd hidden Peyton's keys in a very obvious place so that Nathan would be able to find them easily, but she'd been routinely watching the hallway and she still hadn't seen either him or Haley walk by. _Where the heck are they?_ She wondered, glancing at the time on her phone. Her red dress was good but it wasn't _that_ good, at least she didn't think it was--

As if her words made it a reality, she suddenly saw Haley and Nathan pass through the hall on their way to a room and she sat up quickly, her heart beating wildly against her chest. She took a long, steadying breath. _Okay, this is it._ _It's now or never Brooke_, a voice inside her head suddenly piped in. _And it_ _can still be never...You haven't done anything completely irrevocable...yet_. Brooke paused at that. She really hadn't, not yet. She _could_ just let bygones be bygones, let sleeping dogs lie, forgive and forget...yes she could do all that. She slowly stood and climbed off her stool. She could let it all go, swallow her pride and pain and move on...

Except her name was Brooke Davis not Mother Theresa.

She wet her lips and sauntered towards Lucas, a sexy grin dimpling her cheeks.

It was showtime.


	33. You Break Mine, I'll Break Yours

You Break Mine, I'll Break Yours

Haley followed Nathan into one of the rooms and turned on the light. It flickered briefly before dimming and she surveyed the dark interior. Lucas had given her a brief tour once but she'd never investigated the back rooms, only peeking inside for a moment to humor him when he'd insisted. Now, as she looked around slowly, she suddenly understood why he'd wanted her to see the room so badly. Karen had said that the room used to be a lounge area and she was thinking of turning it into a kind of V.I.P room for people who wanted to meet in a quieter area where they could hear the music but have actual conversations. Haley and Lucas had agreed that it would be a good idea but Lucas had told his mom that the room would probably have to be monitored every once in awhile because its lush interior was more than a little enticing and would probably interest many of their enamored high school patrons. Haley hadn't understood at the time but as she looked around she finally knew what he'd been talking about.

Besides being very dim, the room was filled with plush red couches that swiveled in and around each other, connecting here and there against the wall.The Arabian-styled lamps around them were fire colored and cast heat-inducing patterns on the wall reflecting the bronze entertwined figures engraved on each of them. And the ceiling was low and slanted giving the room an even cozier feel than it already had. It was definitely a room that would make even the prissiest, most uptight person want to throw all their values to the wind and get horizontal. _Quick_. Lucas had been right. They'd probably have to install video cameras with all the heated vibes the room was giving off.

Haley smiled wryly as Nathan hesitantly turned on another lamp casting even more dim light into the room. "Careful,"she said "something about this room makes me expect a genie to suddenly materialize and ask us what our three wishes are."

Nathan chuckled. " Yeah." he agreed. "I see blue skin and a slight resemblance to Robin Williams, what about you?"

Haley laughed and they smiled at each other for a moment before Nathan cleared his throat and sat down down on a couch. He looked at her.

"I guess you're wondering what I needed to talk to you about..." he began slowly.

Haley smiled at him hesitantly. "Just a little." she joked.

Nathan nodded. He motioned to the space beside him and Haley walked over and sat down.

He smiled nervously. "Haley," he said. "what I have to say will probably not come as a surprise to you. I think that it's something that we've both been thinking and feeling for a while now..." Haley frowned, perplexed by his words."...but I guess that you've probably been worried that maybe I wouldn't feel what you've felt. Because of the way things ended between us.

Haley felt her heart fall inside her chest as what he was trying to say finally began to register. "Nathan--" she began.

"I guess that I was worried too." Nathan said slowly. "Because I wasn't sure that you felt what I was feeling either."

"Nathan I--"

"But I know now." he continued." I know what I feel for you in my heart. What I've always felt."

Haley stared at him, frozen to the seat. She knew what was coming. She knew what he was about to say and she wanted to stop him--but she couldn't. Her tongue was suddenly frozen in her mouth and her lips refused to move...and he was taking her hands in his.

He looked into her eyes. "Haley."he whispered. "I've wanted to say this to you since the night you came back to me. The night I opened the door and you were standing there, so strong and beautiful...Like you've always been."

Her eyes were filling with tears and he slowly reached for them as they spilled onto her cheek.

"I've wanted to say..." he whispered. "I _will_ say...that I love you Haley. I always have... and I always will."

* * *

"Brooke--"

"Come on slowpoke, it's back here somewhere I promise."

"Brooke thanks, but I don't need your help--"

"Lucas, I'm going with you whether you like it or not and that's final. Now, do you want your car keys or not?"

Lucas stared at Brooke as they stood in the hallway by his mom's office. When a half an hour had passed and Haley had still not shown up, his uncertainty had quickly turned into worry. After he'd tried her cell phone twice and it had gone directly to voicemail, his worry had deepened into grave concern. He'd even tried Nathan's phone but he hadn't picked up and that had been the final straw. He wasn't sure where they were but he knew Haley and if she wasn't where she said she would be almost two hours later, something was very wrong. Add to that, Nathan's track record with cars and his pensions towards wrecking them and that concern exploded into fear.

_Oh God, Haley_...Lucas thought as he closed his eyes. He just prayed that she wasn't hurt somewhere, lying by the side of the road alone and unable to get help. His anxiety grew at the thought of Nathan's car completely totaled and wrapped around a tree...and that was when Brooke had walked up and offered her help. She suggested that they go look for Haley and said that she'd picked up his keys and put them in his mom's office for, but despite his assurance to her that he didn't need her help, Brooke was adamant about going with him to find Haley and she wouldn't take no for an answer. He sighed deeply as she tilted her head at him.

"Fine." he said. "you can come. We'll go to the house first to see if she's still there and then we'll try Nate's okay?"

Brooke smiled slowly."Got it." she said saluting him before taking the key from his hand and unlocking the door to the office. She was turning the knob when she stopped and glanced down the hall.

Lucas followed her gaze. "Brooke?"

"Did you hear that?" she asked quietly.

Lucas frowned. "Hear what?"

"That noise..." Brooke said slowly starting down the hall. "It was coming from that room."

Lucas looked at the room that she'd gestured at. "That's impossible." he said."Those rooms are kept locked."

Just then they both heard a noise come from the room and Lucas sighed loudly. "Okay, they're _supposed_ to be kept locked. I was sure that Peyton took care of this..."

He started for the room, a wry smile on his face. "I hope they just got in there. I don't know about you but seeing some stranger's ass is not high on my list of priorities tonight."

Brooke grinned. "I don't know," she said slyly."It depends on whose ass it is."

Lucas shook his head amused. "Just as long as it's not Tim's..." he said as they walked toward the room.

* * *

"Nathan." Haley whispered. "I do care about you. I really do but I don't..."

Her voice faded as he stared at her, his eyes blue and vulnerable as they travelled across her face. "What?" he said softly. "You don't what? You don't remember how it feels when I touch you?" He touched her hair gently. "Or how it feels when...when I..."

His voice faded as he gently pulled her to him, his lips pressing against hers in a way that was both familiar and heartbreaking in its intensity. A way that made it impossible to pull away as his hands drifted down her cheeks to her shoulders, pushing her dress away as he lay back, gently pulling her with him...so they didn't hear the door open behind them, or see the stunned couple standing there staring in.

"You love me." he whispered against her mouth. "You do Haley, don't you?"

Haley tried to pull away, but his arms were around her and she only succeeded in falling against him.

"I love you." Nathan whispered. "Say it Haley...tell me how you feel."

Haley closed her eyes. "I love you Nathan." she said softly. "I love you..."

Lucas face was frozen as he heard Haley say the words that he'd thought were only meant for him, the words she'd said to him only hours ago. He watched as Nathan drew her closer for another kiss and his heart felt like it was shattering inside his chest---and then Brooke was pulling him away from the door and back up the hall and into his mother's office...away from the girl he thought loved him.

* * *

"...I love you Nathan, I do." Haley whispered."But not the way you love me." 

Nathan lips stilled against her cheek. He sat up slowly and moved away from her.

"What?" he asked slowly. Tears streamed down Haley's face as he stared at her, his eyes narrowed and confused...and hurt.

"What does that mean?" he said stiffly. "If you don't love me the way that I love you, in what way _do_ you love me?"

Haley slowly adjusted her dress, searching for the words to say before looking into his eyes."I love you in the way that a little girl loves Prince Charming." she said softly." Because he's her hero. And I love you in the way the quiet girl loves the basketball star...because he took her hand in the hallway in front of everyone." The tears continued as Nathan watched her, the pain on his face as heavy as hers.

"And I love you in the way that a young bride loves her husband, because he loved her enough to want to be with her forever."

She paused and reached for his hand but he pulled away and she closed her eyes. It was time. She should never have kept the secrets that she'd kept from him. She should never have lied to him at all. If she hadn't...she looked at him. If she hadn't, it would never have gotten so out of control. He deserved the truth, the whole truth. And she was going to give it to him now. She was sure that Lucas would understand.

"There are so many ways that I love you Nathan, so many." she finally whispered. "But I'm not _in_ love with you." She looked at him beseeching him to understand, willing him to forgive her. She took a deep breath.

"I'm in love with someone else."

* * *

Brooke leaned against the office door, her hands on her mouth.

"Oh. My. Dolce & Gabbana!" she laughed. "I knew it! I knew those two were still hot for each other! Whew,but even I didn't know _how_ hot!"

Lucas' back was to her and she forced herself to keep on talking, to keep on babbling on so that she wouldn't give in to the sudden feeling in the pit of her stomach. The feeling that she'd come to know so well during that past month.

She felt-- bad! _R_eally bad! For Lucas! She was actually feeling pity for him, for what he must be feeling at that moment and she felt the compassion beginning to rise up in her for the hurt and betrayal he undoubtedly felt.

And she couldn't. Her plan was halfway done but it was not over, not by a longshot! She needed to see this thing through to the bitter end. No matter what.

Lucas' back was still to her and he was wordlessly staring at the floor. She pretended not to notice as she picked up his keys on the desk in front of them.

"Well, here are your keys," she said lightly. "but I guess you don't need them anymore." She looked at him. "Want to go back to the party?"

His face was ashen as he looked up finally, out the window behind the desk. "Suddenly, I'm not in the mood to dance." he said.

Brooke nodded. "Me neither." she said slowly. She looked at him. "Want to go home? I'm sure we can find something more...interesting to occupy our time." she smiled slyly. " What do you say?"

Lucas looked at her wordlessly for a long moment. Then he smiled brokenly.

"I'll drive."

* * *

Haley stared at Nathan. He was looking at the floor--he had been, for the past half hour and he hadn't said a word to her even after her earth-shattering revelation, but she didn't say anything either. She would wait for him to break the silence first, to ask her any questions he had. She owed him that at least.

"I'm such a jackass." he said suddenly.Haley shook her head.

"Nathan, no!" she said intently. "You are not a jackass! You are so--strong, and loving, and forgiving!"

She reached for him but thought better of it and rested her hand on the seat between them instead. "I don't know anyone who would put their heart on the line and risk getting hurt again in such a bold and fearless way like you did tonight."

Nathan chuckled bitterly. "Bold and fearless." he said cynically. "Yeah, look how far that got me. I'm no hero Haley, I'm just a guy who let himself make the same mistake twice. I'm just a clueless idiot."

Haley closed her eyes, shaking her head at his words. "No Nathan you're not.You are so much more than that in my eyes, so much more." She looked at him. "Even if you don't believe anything else, please believe that."

Nathan looked at the wall in front of him wordlessly. They sat like that for a while until he finally looked at her.

"Who is it?" he asked abruptly. "Who is this...mysterious love interest of yours?" His eyes stared intently into hers."What's his name, Haley? I want to know."

Haley stared at him. She knew that she had to tell him but nothing in her wanted too. Nothing inside of her wanted to make the shattered look in his eyes any worse than it already was. And she knew it would.

But she had to tell him. She took a deep breath.

"It's..it's...L--"

Suddenly Haley's phone rang. She looked down at the caller ID and saw Brooke's cell phone number. She frowned and flipped it open.

"Brooke?"

"Haley!" Brooke said breathlessly. "I need a _huge_ favor!"

"Now is kind of a bad time Brooke--"

"I'm sorry but this can't wait. I'm at home--"

"Home? What are you doing there?"

"I left the party early and I left my bag there with some important information that my dad needs like right now and he's been calling me for like fifteen minutes already. It's a business letter that they sent to our old address instead of the new one in L.A. and he really needs me to fax it to him. Can you bring it home for me? Please!"

Haley sighed. "Brooke--"

"Please Hales! He'll have my ass for sure if I don't give it to him tonight!"

Haley looked at Nathan who was staring wordlessly at the floor again and exhaled loudly. "Okay. Where's your bag?"

Brooke told her where it was after thanking her profusely and she hung up her phone, her eyes on Nathan.

"That was---"

"Brooke. Yeah, I heard." His voice was filled with pain and her heart wrenched inside her chest.

"She...she wants me to---"

"Bring her bag home?" Nathan finished for her.

"I guess it's kind of an emergency, I don't know.You know Brooke..." Her voice faded away as she chuckled halfheartedly and stared at the floor.

Nathan looked at her slowly. Everything inside of him was screaming at him to run away from this girl who had been and was a constant source of pain for him. A steady break in his heart. But her eyes were so soft and sad... And her smile was completely gone in a way that made him wonder if it would ever return the same. And he realized that deep down inside, he didn't want that. He loved her enough to want to see that smile again. Someday. And despite the pain he was feeling, he couldn't run away just yet. He needed to know the whole truth. Part of him even _wanted _too. He'd let her tell him. Everything. No matter how much it hurt.

He looked at her steadily. "Are you going to go _now_?" he asked.

She nodded. "After we talk." she said quietly. "After we at least _start_ to make things right between us." She looked at him, her eyes soft and hopeful. "Do you think that could happen, Nate? Do you think that we can get back to where we were starting to go?"

Nathan took a deep breath. "I don't know Haley." he said honestly."I really don't." She nodded slowly, sadly looking away and he glanced at her. "But we can try."

Haley stared him, her eyes widening ever so slowly and he tried a grin...and almost made it if not quite. But it was still a try. And that was a good first step.

He looked at her. "You need a lift?" he asked.

* * *

Brooke walked out of her bathroom and put her phone on the bureau beside her bed. She'd changed into her bathrobe and as she walked ino her room she saw Lucas sit up on her bed and watch her walk to her closet where she hung up her dress.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"Oh, no one important." She said lightly.She took a deep breath before putting a smile on her face and turning to face him.

"How do I look?" she asked posing.

Lucas looked at her. "Great." he said quietly."As always."

Her eyes fell on his empty glass. "Do you need another drink?" she asked

Lucas shook his head and set the empty glass beside her bed. "No thanks, I think I've filled my water quota for the week." He looked at her and patted the bed beside him.

"Come here."

Brooke oblidged willingly sitting down close to him and he smiled at her.

Brooke could see the pain in his eyes as he struggled to forget about Haley and just be in the moment. She recognized it because she'd seen the same look in her own eyes before. Lucas' heart was breaking and he wanted to dull the pain that he was feeling in any way possible. Which was why he was sitting on her bed with her and not in his, alone. He wanted to lose himself in her to forget Haley...just the way she'd known he would. It was his way. He had done the same thing with Jake's ex Nikki when she'd been angry at him and Peyton wouldn't talk to him, and she'd guessed that dealing with Haley's supposed 'betrayal' would lead him to the same place...Someone else's arms. She'd just made sure that the 'someone else' was her. Lucas wanted to forget his pain and he wanted her to help him do that. She smiled. And what were friends for?

She touched his cheek softly. "I've waited for this for so long Lucas. I've wanted to be with you like this since before I moved in here."

Lucas tried to smile but it broke apart and shattered on its way to his mouth. Brooke slid closer to him. She could see that this was going to be harder for him than she'd originally thought it would be. It was a good thing that she'd already dissolved a couple of happy pills in his water earlier or he might never even have made it into her bedroom. Now if only those pills would do their job...

She knew that Lucas himself was already partway there. The hurt part of him wanted to do something--anything to erase what he'd seen in the back room at the club from his mind. That same part of him wanted to hurt Haley in the process and that would work along with Brooke's plan quite nicely. But the stronger part of Lucas, the part that loved Haley with everything inside of him, could barely touch another girl let alone a friend. And for the time being, that included Brooke. All Lucas needed was a nicely blurred line between reality and fantasy to help him stop feeling and thinking and that's what the pills would do for him. Any minute now...

Brooke let the robe fall off one of her shoulders and Lucas eyes fell on the slightly visible skin in front of him. His eyes were narrowed and filled with so much emotion and Brooke saw desire there, but it was a desire to stop hurting--not a desire for her. Seeing Haley with Nathan had really messed him over...

She touched his chin. "My robe is ready to come off now." she whispered. "How does your shirt feel?"

Lucas stared at her. He blinked as she suddenly blurred and became two Brookes and he tried to focus on her, but it was close to impossible. All he could see was Haley lying on top of Nathan, kissing him--telling him she loved him. It was almost too much to take. He just wanted to forget it! He didn't want to feel anything. He shook his head as Brooke blurred before him again. He felt her hands slide up his waist and under his shirt and he closed his eyes and let her take his shirt off. It isn't fair to Brooke, he thought suddenly. You can't use her like this.

"Brooke" he whispered."I have to tell you something. I have to be honest--"

"Shhh..." she said putting a finger to his lips. "No more talking." She leaned against him, gently pushing him back onto the bed and he watched as she unbuckled his belt. Things were moving so fast--too fast but he didn't want to think about it--he wouldn't let himself. And suddenly it seemed to be getting harder to. He shifted as Brooke pulled off his jeans and threw them to the floor. She slid against him pulling the covers over them both as she straddled him and her robe slid away as she slowly kissed his chest, her lips sliding fom his navel to his waist and then his chest again.

Lucas closed his eyes. He could do this. He could let go and eradicate Haley from his thoughts. Brooke was helping him to already. He felt his heart wrench inside his chest as he heard Haley's whispered words to Nathan reverberate inside his thoughts again and again. _I love you_... She'd told him that she loved him! Lucas clenched his jaw angrily. She'd lied to him! It had all been lies! She was a _lying_, _little_...

His thoughts drifted as a sudden memory of him and Haley having a water-balloon fight lept into his mind. They were on the roof of his mom's cafe and she was laughing and beautiful even with milk and water running down her face. And before that, the time she'd told him that he needed to join the school basket ball team no matter what anyone said. She'd smiled and said that he worried too much and that had been the first time he'd noticed how beautiful her eyes were. The first time he'd really _seen _her...

He opened his eyes slowly, feeling a wetness slide down his cheek as memory after memory of moments with Haley flooded his mind.Haley laughing at him when he chased her around the cafe, Haley crying in his arms when he'd woken from his coma after the wreck with his uncle, Haley jumping into his arms when he won or even lost a game...and Haley lying in his arms at night humming until he fell asleep...

and Lucas finally knew what his heart had been telling him since he'd followed Brooke into her room that night.

He couldn't have sex with Brooke. He shouldn't even be lying down in her bed. Haley was not just in his life, she was _inside_ of him and around him. Haley _was_ his life.Sleeping with Brooke wouldn't change that and it wouldn't fix the break in his heart. It wouldn't do anything. Except make things worse and he couldn't do that even with all the pain that he was feeling. He wouldn't. Haley may not be in love with him but he loved her with everything inside of him and he needed to deal with that...somehow. But not like this...

He gently tried to push Brooke away as he sat up but her kisses only became more insistent.

"Brooke," he whispered. "we can't. I'm sorry. This isn't right."

Brooke sat up with him, her legs wrapped around his waist. "No Lucas, this is right." she said softly."So right...This feels perfect."

He was shaking his head but she managed to kiss him anyways, her body moving against his as she wrapped her arms around him.

Suddenly she heard the footsteps she'd been waiting for outside of the door. She threw her robe on the floor just as she heard the doorknob turn and dropped the blanket to her waist leaving both of their bare legs and chests exposed. She threw back her head.

"Yes, Lucas yes! Make love to me!" she cried breathlessly.

She heard the door swing open and turned in Lucas arms just in time to see Nathan and Haley standing in the doorway. Haley's mouth fell open and she dropped Brooke's purse to the floor spilling all of its contents at their feet.

Brooke pulled the blanket over their chests, and looked from the purse to Haley and back again, forcing a sheepish expression on her face.

"Oh, Haley, I'm sorry!" she cried embarrased. "You didn't have to bring my bag home _now_. I meant _after_ the party!"

She made sure her face was the proper amount of apologetic and embarrassed but she knew that her words and her reaction didn't matter anyways. She was pretty sure that Haley couldn't hear or see much of anything at that moment.

Except for her and Lucas mostly naked bodies entangled on the bed of course.

But other than that...


	34. The Heart Breaks like This

**Thanks for your awesome reviews JB! And Ficwriter, since you asked...:)**

* * *

The Heart Breaks Like This

Haley stared at the scene in front of her. Part of her brain was fully aware of what she was seeing, but another part of her---the part of her that was in love--couldn't--_wouldn't_ believe it.

Lucas _wasn't_ in bed with Brooke...again. His arms _weren't_ around her and they _hadn't_ been having sex. That was impossible because Lucas was in love with her. So, what she was seeing was not real. It couldn't be.

But then her eyes locked with Lucas own and she saw his stricken expression. And she knew. She wasn't stuck in the middle of a nightmare. Everything she was seeing was real. Freddie Krueger wasn't going to suddenly jump out and rip her to shreds.

No matter how much she wanted him too.

She didn't realize she was shaking until Nathan put his hand on her shoulder.

Haley." he said, his voice deep with concern. "Are you all right?"

She didn't hear him---she didn't even see him really. She only saw Lucas. She only watched Lucas as he climbed out of bed and pulled on his jeans.She noticed that he only looked at her after he'd buckled his belt.

"I didn't want you to see this." he said quietly.

Haley's eyes widened incredulously. "Oh you didn't?" she said softly. "Would you like me to wait outside until you're done--maybe provide a little background music? Would that be better for you Luke? What do you want me to sing?"

Nathan and Brooke exchanged puzzled glances, his a mixture of uncertainty and confusion, her face puckered with bewilderment as well. Of course, _her_ confusion was faked. But they didn't need to know that. She covered herself with the blanket and slid off the bed, trying avidly to hide her satisfaction.

Lucas closed his eyes as he pulled on his shirt. "It isn't what you think." he said briefly.

"This isn't what I think!" Haley chuckled bitterly."Wow, where have I heard _that _one before? Oh yeah, on wednesday when I caught you the first time!"

Her heart felt like a tight piece of coal inside her chest but she couldn't seem to make herself walk away from him. She couldn't move at all.

"What was it you said then Lucas? That what I saw was nothing other than a stupid misunderstanding? I guess it was. Apparently _I've _misunderstood everything!"

Lucas stared at her wordlessly and she shook her head as the ocean of misery that used to be her happiness, welled up inside of her, threatening to spew from her mouth. She felt sick to her stomach and the sight of him putting his clothes back on beside Brooke's bed, not saying a single word to explain himself, was only making it worse.But she _still_ couldn't make herself move away from him.

She stared at him. "You're a liar." she whispered brokenly. "You're such a _liar_--"

Lucas looked at her incredulously. "_I'm_ the liar?" he finally said. "So it _wasn't_ Nathan's mouth I saw all over yours at TRIC tonight? And it wasn't you wrapped around him on that crappy red couch? Okay I guess I must have been seeing things because apparently _I'm_ the liar!"

Haley looked like she'd been slapped. "What!"

Lucas shook his head. "How dare you stand there and act all self-righteous and hurt! _You_'re the one who has been lying all along Haley, not me!"

Haley frowned. "_I'm_ the one whose been lying? "Haley cried."Lying about what exactly?"

"Stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about! I heard you Haley." Lucas said softly. His voice broke and he swallowed hard but he continued. "I heard you tell Nathan that you love him. I _saw_ you kissing him. Why would you _lie _to me about your feelings for so long? Why! I thought we told each other everything--or was that a lie too? Why couldn't you just tell me the truth?"

Haley's mouth opened and closed wordlessly. So Lucas had seen her and Nathan and heard what she'd said--or some of it anyways. Apparently he hadn't heard everything.The most important thing.

But that probably wouldn't have mattered anyways. He'd obviously wanted Brooke all along. She just couldn't understand why he'd told her that he'd wanted her when he really hadn't. He'd lied to her about how he felt but _her_ feelings for him went deep into her soul, until it had become a part of her. She looked at him, trying to regain her calm, trying to make sense of the situation but she couldn't. All she could see was Lucas in bed with Brooke, half naked, holding her, touching her--

She shook her head trying to clear the image from her mind but it was close to impossible. She couldn't believe he could do this to her! Even if his love wasn't real, she'd thought that their friendship was. Or at least the friendship that they _used_ to have was. But that was dead now. Everything that they'd shared was over. He'd made sure of that.

Her eyes filled with tears as they stared at each other. "_I_ didn't lie to you Lucas." she finally whispered. "And you obviously didn't stay at that club long enough to hear the truth."

"Wait a minute." Nathan suddenly said as he looked from Haley to Lucas and back again.The look of confusion in his eyes had completely faded away leaving in its place a slowly dawning realization. It had hit him gradually but he suddenly understood everything. It was all finally, sickeningly crystal clear.

"Lucas?" he said, his voice low and shocked. "Lucas is the one that you--?"

His voice stopped abruptly as Haley turned to face him.Tears streamed from her eyes as he stared at her, his expression one of horror and rapidly building anger.

"My...my _brother_, Haley?"

Haley looked at him sadly.She didn't know what to say. Her whole world was turning upside down and she was speechless. She nodded wordlessly and Nathan looked at Lucas.

"How long?'' he spat out. "How long has this--this _thing_ been going on?"

"That's a question that I would also like to hear the answer too." Brooke suddenly said. She'd been silently sliding into some clothes during the entire exchange, her anger growing as Lucas and Haley yelled at one another, completely oblivious to her presence. Like she didn't matter--like they hadn't hurt her too! When they all turned to look at her as if they'd forgotten that she was in the room, her anger grew even more.

"Is Lucas the real reason you left Haley?" she asked bitterly. "Or were you cheating on Nathan with both Lucas _and_ Chris?"

Haley's face paled and Lucas looked at Brooke angrily. "Haley's leaving had nothing to do with me _or _Chris, Brooke! Haley and I..." he looked at Haley. "This... thing between us started this summer."

Brooke's mouth fell open in mock surprise. She wasn't feeling any pity anymore. She was going to milk this for everything it was worth until both Lucas and Haley were shadows of their former selves...or Nathan punched Lucas out. Whichever came first.

"This summer Lucas?" she said softly. "When we were...when we were _together_, you were seeing Haley?"

Lucas frowned unhappily. "Brooke, I'm sorry. I've been trying to tell you---I don't know what I was thinking that afternoon. I don't even remember half of what we did--"

Brooke let her eyes begin to water. It was easy since the pain she was feeling was real. "You don't remember?" she whispered. "Well, do you remember calling me in California Lucas night after night begging me to be with you, letting me think that you actually _wanted_ me here? Do you remember any of that? Or has that all been conveniently forgotten as well?"

Lucas closed his eyes at the sound of the pain in her voice. He took a deep breath. "What happened between me and Haley wasn't planned Brooke." he said softly. "It just...it just happened! The feelings were there, maybe they've always been we just didn't--"

Haley looked at him her eyes narrowed angrily. What was he talking about? What feelings! He'd obviously never had any real feelings for her or he wouldn't have done what he and Brooke had been in the process of _doing_ when she'd walked in!

"Maybe they've _always_ been?" Nathan interrupted incredulously,his words mirroring her thoughts. "As in maybe you've always had the hots for my wife, Lucas?"

Haley reached for him. "Nathan--"

"No, I want to know!" Nathan yelled pulling away from her. He stared at her, his eyes like two blue coals in his face."_Is_ this the real reason you left me Haley?" he asked. "Because of my brother?"

Haley shook her head. "Nathan, no." She whispered brokenly. "Lucas had nothing to do with that. I didn't realize my feelings for him till way after we were over--"

"Your feelings for _me_ Haley?" Lucas said softly. "Oh, you mean the feelings you had until your husband wanted you back, those feelings?"

Haley glared at him morosely. "My feelings for you were real Lucas. Obviously you were the one with the feelings for someone else." She laughed bitterly. "I can't believe that I actually bought your whole forgotten memory crap that you shoved down my throat! You were in bed with Brooke then because you wanted to be, just like you wanted to be with her now!"

Lucas eyes narrowed incredulous. "Like I wanted to be?" he cried. "or like _you_ wanted me to be Haley?"

Haley's mouth fell open. "What the hell does that mean?"

"If I wanted to be with Brooke so badly, why did I want to tell her and Nathan about us from the very beginning? I wasn't the one who kept on making excuses about why we shouldn't tell them Haley--you were! I bought _your_ story about wanting your friendship with Nathan to be on track before we told him, when the whole time you never had any intention of telling Nathan anything!Except how much you love him, of course."

Lucas face was ashen as he glared at her,his heart tight in his chest. "Always so quick to go off with him--always so quick to leave... Was the fact that I ended up in Brooke's bed really that much of a surprise to you?"

Haley felt her face paling by the second. She couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. She couldn't believe any of what was happening at all! She felt like she was trapped in the middle of a twisted nightmare and she wanted to wake up more than anything! But she knew that closing her eyes and pinching herself wouldn't help. It wasn't a dream. She was really there standing in front of Lucas, trying not to fall apart and he was really there breaking her heart piece by piece.

She stared at him unhappily. "Whatever you did with Brooke--whatever you've done with her was your decision Luke." she said quietly. "Don't you _dare_ blame it on me." Her eyes began to fill with tears as she looked at him. "All I did was love you. Every minute of everyday. All I wanted was to be with you_, only_ you_--"_

"Stop!" Lucas suddenly yelled. "Just stop!"

His face was drawn and stiff but his eyes held more pain than any in the room. "Stop it Haley. Stop lying to me now." he said brokenly. "I know the truth, okay? I finally get it. Nathan is your soulmate. He's your storybook ending. I know that what we had..." his voice broke."What we had was just a--just a brief interlude in your fairy tale life with Nathan. It was just a joke--just a meaningless waste of time."

Haley froze at his words. She felt her stomach lurch and she folded her arms around herself as he stared at her. He nodded slowly.

"I understand now. I understand what you've probably been trying to tell me from the very beginning.When you held back--" his voice broke again. "When you pulled away from me, time and time again, I thought that it was because you were scared. Of what you felt for me." He looked at her." I thought that you didn't want to ruin what we already had. And then when you didn't want to tell anyone about us, I thought it was because you didn't want to ruin what you and Nathan _used_ to have.When you were friends." He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "I finally understand now Haley. It was never about us, it was always about you and Nathan--about what you and Nathan share not us. What you have with Nathan is what's real. What we had--that was the lie."

Haley felt like her heart was shrinking as he spoke, but it shattered into a million pieces at that moment, the moment Lucas made everything that they'd shared seem like less than it was.Like what they'd had was nothing. He broke her heart with those words. If he'd punched her in the gut, it would have been less painful. But he'd done more than that--much more.

She stared at him as tears streamed down her face. "How can you stand there and accuse _me_ of lying when I've caught you in bed with Brooke _twice_?" she cried. "Or are you going to tell me that you don't remember this either?"

Lucas stared at her as she blurred in front of him and became three Haleys. He shook his head to clear his vision.

"No,I do-- I do remember this time." he said absently, shaking his head again. Suddenly his words and his thoughts weren't quite as clear as they'd been. They felt like bubbles inside of his head, bouncing off one another and popping in his ears. He looked down foggily, trying to remember what he'd been saying.

"I remember...I remember kissing Brooke and touching her." he said slowly as he looked up at Haley. He saw her eyes widen in agony but he didn't understand. He only wanted to tell her everything. He only wanted her to be...to be...suddenly he couldn't remember what he wanted. He was caught up in a pleasant fog and he wanted to stay there...with Haley. He smiled at her.

"Then she took off my pants and started kissing me...here..." he said pointing at his waist "and here..."

Haley felt the contents of her stomach literally rise up her throat. She stared at him as he continued to point to the areas on his body that Brooke had kissed and she slowly shook her head. If anyone had told her that Lucas could be so cruel, she would never have believed them. She would have bet them money that it was impossible for Lucas to hurt her in _any_ way.

And she would have lost. Because the Lucas standing in front of her was hurting her something fierce. The Lucas in front of her was killing her slowly.The Lucas in front of her... was not the Lucas she knew.

The Lucas that she knew, the Lucas she _loved _would never hurt her the way that this stranger was hurting her. He wouldn't even know _how_. This Lucas did. The tears fell down her cheeks in an endless waterfall as she slowly walked up to him. He looked down at her inquiringly.

"Anything else you want to know?" he asked absently as she stared up into his eyes.

She shook her head."No." she whispered painfully. " but I want you to know something." She gazed at him. "I want you to know that you've hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me in my entire life." Her voice broke. "And I never want to see you again. Ever."

His eyes became unfocused as he frowned and reached for her arm. "Haley--"

She pulled away from him and slapped him across his face. "Don't touch me!" she sobbed. "Don't you ever touch me again!"

She turned and ran from the room, pushing pass Nathan on her way out. Lucas stared after her confused, his eyes unfocused and his vison blurred. He was very upset...but he didn't know why. He only knew that he had to see Haley.

Nathan watched as his brother blinked in confusion and he frowned. Even in his anger, he couldn't believe how horribly Lucas had just treated Haley.How he'd acted--giving Haley a play-by-play of what he and Brooke had done--it was so out of character for him! And his expression---it was as if he didn't even care! Nathan shook his head slowly as he glanced at Brooke but he paused when he saw her face and her expression.

Brooke was..._smiling_. A slightly pleased, cat-ate-the canary smile that was very strange and _very _out of place...It was almost as if...as if...

Nathan frowned as a sudden thought came to him just as Brooke looked up and caught him watching her. Her expression changed swiftly and she bit her lip and shook her head in hurt disbelief before hurrying into her bathroom with a choked sob. She slammed the door and Nathan's frown deepened. He watched as Lucas moved towards the bedroom door, stumbling into Nathan as he lost his footing. Nathan gripped his arms hard staring at him as if he wanted to burn a hole into his head.

"Stay away from her Lucas." he warned in a low voice. "Do you hear me? Stay away from Haley, or I will break your face." He pushed Lucas back and he fell, landing hard against the bedpost.

He turned to leave and then paused outside of the door. "Oh and that 'not brothers anymore' thing that I said to you back in May? It still stands.Just in case you were confused." He stared down at his brother. "I'd say I hope you have a nice life...but that would be a lie. And you're the only lying son-of-a-Scott that I know."

He turned and walked out and Lucas tried to stand but he stumbled and fell again.

"Nathan..." he muttered foggily calling his brother's name. "Nathan!" he repeated louder but silence was his only response.

He didn't notice though as he pulled himself up and sat on the bed. The room seemed to be moving around him and he tried to collect his thoughts, but it was like trying to grab snowflakes, they kept melting inside his head. He put his hand on his forehead as a picture of a pretty red-headed girl suddenly rose in his mind. She seemed familiar somehow and he knew that he wanted to see her, he just didn't know why--or how. He suddenly couldn't seem to move either of his legs.

Just then a hand reached out to him and he jumped startled as he looked up at the slender brunette in front of him. He squinted.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" he asked.

Brooke stared at him for a moment before nodding and helping him to his feet."Yes, I'm your fairy god mother.'' she said quietly "and I'm going to help you to your bed."

She helped him stand and she half-dragged, half-carried him to his bedroom as he blinked sleepily at her.

"I can't go to sleep." he said foggily."I need to find her, I need to--to do something..." He looked around confused. "What do I need to do?"

Brooke pulled him into his room and helped him to his bed."You need to sleep." she said gently pushing him back onto his pillows.

He tried to sit up again. "But I have to find that girl." he said impatiently. "I have to tell her..." his voice faded away. "I have to tell her...something." he whispered.

Brooke pulled his blanket over him."You can," she said reassuringly. "Tomorrow, you can tell her all about it."

Lucas smiled. "Okay." he said quietly. He looked up at her. "You're pretty." he said softly.

Brooke sniffled as a tear ran down her nose."Thanks." She said wiping it away hastily.

She didn't understand why she was crying. Her plan had worked! Lucas and Haley were over. For good.There was no fixing anything after what they'd said to one another in her room. Their relationship was a collision of misunderstandings, lies and immense hurt that they would never be able to sort out--even if they _wanted _to. She'd made sure of that.

But she didn't feel any of the satisfaction that she'd thought she'd feel, not even a little. She didn't feel happy at all. In fact, she felt quite the opposite of that. She frowned as Lucas gazed up at her through sleepy eyes and she backed away.

"We're even now Lucas." she whispered. "You broke my heart and I broke...both of yours." She nodded. "It's over."

Lucas eyes slowly closed and she watched as he fell asleep, his breathing calm and peaceful despite the drama that had just unravelled in the next room. Brooke turned off his light and closed his door. His numbness wouldn't last very long. As soon as Lucas woke up, he would remember at least most of the nights events and he would be hurting terribly. She knew because she'd been there herself the night she'd found out the truth about him and Haley. She'd felt like her heart was breaking every minute that day and something told her that Lucas was going to feel even worse than she had. Much worse.

She walked into her room and glanced at her open purse lying on the floor, it's scattered remnants a memory of the nights anguished beginning...and end. Her plan had gone over without a hitch and she should celebrate. She grabbed her pillow and slowly climbed into bed, pulling it close to her as the tears started to fall more rapidly down her face.

She _should _celebrate. She really should...

She cried instead.


	35. When It Hurts To Breathe, Cry

**Sorry all! Two words: Thanksgiving Break. Forgive?**

When It Hurts To Breathe, Cry  


Peyton walked into the house at six o'clock the next morning with a huge smile on her face and a bounce in her step that hadn't been there for months. The party had been themed _The All-Nighter_ and alot of the partiers had taken that literally not leaving until dawn. But she hadn't minded. The night had been a huge hit putting TRIC on Tree Hills' map for another year at least and she couldn't be happier. She was flying higher than she had in a long time--maybe since Jake had left even, and she didn't want the feeling to end yet. She'd noticed at about twelve o'clock the previous night that none of her so-called best-friends were even at the club and the fact that they'd all left without even bothering to say bye--or congratulate her-- had left her a bit ticked. She intended to give every single one of them a piece of her mind...after she bragged about what a huge success the party had been!

She grinned as she danced down the hall pausing at Lucas door to give it a brief knock. He was first in line to hear what she had to say since he was supposed to have helped her the whole night and had bailed on her. She could only guess that it had everything to do with Haley and she'd forgiven him after telling him off in her head for about all of five minutes. She grinned and knocked again suddenly realizing that Lucas was probably not alone in there. Even so she was sure that even Lucas and Haley had a no-nookie before noon rule...or at least she hoped they did. When she knocked again and there was still no answer, she crossed her fingers hoping that she would not get an eyeful of Laley love and pushed open the door.

Lucas was sitting on the side of his bed alone, his head in his hands and she hid a smile, putting her hands on her hips as she frowned sternly.

"Lucas Scott, you have a lot of 'splainin' to do! Why the hell did you leave me to fend for myself at the club last night! I had to ask Tim to help me clean up,_ Tim!_ For that alone you owe me dude and I'm like talking hundreds of _thousands_ of pesos, get it?"

She laughed as Lucas looked to the side, his hands covering his mouth and her smile faded.She walked slowly into the room.

"Luke..?" she said hesitantly.When he didn't answer, she sat beside him." Lucas..?" she whispered uncertainly.

He finally looked at her and her smile faded away completely. His face was pale and drawn and his eyes were red-rimmed and ravaged as he looked at her.He looked all of completely horrible.

She stared at him, her eyes wide."Lucas, what's wrong?" she gasped.

He was silent as his eyes slowly found hers. "Everything." he said huskily."Everything's wrong Peyton. And I don't know if it'll ever be right again."

* * *

Nathan stared across the room at Haley as she lay staring out the window. He'd found her doing that since he'd woken up that morning, stretching ackwardly on his couch across from her. He'd looked at her then and found her staring wordlessly pass him out the window and he hadn't said anything, he'd just watched her.

And now it was an hour later and she hadn't budged, even a little.His eyes narrowed as he frowned at her. It was beginning to bother him. He took a deep breath.

"Haley, it's nine o'clock. You should eat."

Haley blinked and looked at him slowly as if suddenly realizing that he was in the room. "No thanks.Not hungry."

Nathan looked at her.Wow, four whole words, he thought dryly. He schrugged inwardly. It was better than nothing. She hadn't said a single word since the night before. He leaned back on his couch, his eyes taking in her pale features and empty expression and he frowned again. She looked...terrible. The same way she'd looked when he'd found her crouched over the railing at Lucas' house.

He'd found her holding her stomach, tears falling down her cheeks as she cried silently and he hadn't said a word to her. He'd just stood by her side for a long moment, waiting while she sobbed until she'd finally stopped breathlessly staring at the ground for a long moment before slowly looking up at him. He'd seen the preparation in her eyes, the silent expectation of his rebuke and anger and eventhough he'd wanted to unleash everything he was feeling at her...he just couldn't. Her eyes had been so filled with pain that every bad thought he'd had of her, every bad thing that he'd wanted to say since he'd found out the truth had seemed insignificant somehow. He'd wordlessly taken her hand in his and walked her to his car and they'd driven to his house in silence. When they'd gotten there, she still hadn't said anything, but she'd followed him into his house and up to his room where he'd helped her take off her heels which she'd still been wearing and helped her into his bed. He'd covered her with a blanket and sat across from her on his couch, watching her breath deeply staring at nothing... until she'd finally fallen into a deep sleep. Only then had he allowed his own eyes to close...

And now here they were and she was still despondent and silent staring into nothing as he watched her. He felt himself growing more anxious. He knew for a fact that she hadn't eaten anything since the previous afternoon and after the night she'd had, she definitelly needed to put something in her system. As an athlete, he knew that what she was doing to herself was not healthy. As a friend, he hated that her heart was broken and what it was doing to her.

_And why do you care? _A voice inside of him suddenly inquired._Her heart wasn't the only one broken last night. Yours is in a few billion pieces too.So why do you care so much about hers?_ He ignored the question and stood up. Haley may not be hungry but she was going to have to eat something. Whether she liked it or not.

"I'm going to go make us some breakfast." Nathan said firmly. "Do you still like your eggs scrambled?"

Haley looked at him slowly. She watched him for a moment as he stood staring at her unbendingly. She recognized defeat when she saw it.Especially when it had ice-blue eyes.

"Yes." she finally said. "Thank you.That sounds great."

Nathan nodded and turned to go.

"Nathan." Haley suddenly called out. He looked at her."Thank you." she said softly, her voice breaking a little. "For everything."

Nathan looked away.He clenched his jaw as the pain suddenly resurfaced inside of him. "I don't forgive you Haley." he said abruptly. "For any of it."

Haley looked at him. "I know." she whispered.

Nathan shook his head. "No." he said."I don't think you do. I'm hurting too. I feel like I don't know what's real anymore. Like I can't trust anyone--because everything's a lie."

Haley watched him silently and he shook his head. "I mean my brother and my ex-wife!--it's like a bad episode of _Maury_--a nightmare I can't get out of of, not even when I close my eyes because then it's _worse_--"

"I know, Nate." Haley said softly."I know."

He heard the pain in her voice and he stopped and looked at her. She was still lying down wrapped up in her red dress and his blanket, so small and shattered...and his heart tightened in his chest.

"I don't understand it--any of it." he said quietly. "But Lucas really hurt you last night..." he paused as she looked away, out the window again her eyes filled with an emotion he could barely fathom. "And you...well you need someone right now."

"You don't have too.." Haley said leaving her sentence unfinished as their eyes met.

"I know." he nodded. "But I'm going to." he looked at her. "You can stay here...till you figure out your next move."

Haley's eyes widened slightly."Nathan--"

"There _are_ three guest rooms Haley. And they are all already fixed up. They always are." he smiled slightly. "You can have whichever room you want." he said quietly.

Haley tried to smile but it didn't make it to her lips. Instead she just looked at him, her eyes clear and grateful in her face.

"Thank you, Nate." she whispered. "Thank you so much."

He nodded and turned to go but paused again at the door. He turned to look at her.

"Haley." he said finally. "It's going to be okay. There will come a time when...when it won't hurt so bad. I know."

He smiled tightly and left the room and Haley slowly turned and looked out the window.She knew that Nathan was right. At some point she _would_ be okay.The pain wouldn't be quite so intense and she wouldn't feel like crying everytime she opened her eyes.Maybe then it would even be easier to breathe. But as she stared at the bright sky outside the window, and tried to ignore the empty feeling inside her chest or the ache in her throat, she wondered when the forgetting would start.She wondered if it would ever trully be possible to forget that she'd lost Lucas. That she'd lost her best-friend, her boyfriend, and her family all in one person,all in one day. A part of her was sure it was possible to forget that. To push it all away and bury it deep. But most of her was filled with doubt.

Especially the part of her that was still hopelessly, deeply in love with Lucas Scott.

* * *

Peyton stared at Lucas, her eyes wide in her stunned face.She slowly shook her head.

"I don't believe it." she said quietly."I don't."

Lucas looked away from her. "Believe it." he said huskily. "It happened."

Peyton stared at him. "Last night?" she asked. "This all happened last _night_?"

Lucas closed his eyes. He nodded before his face broke as an image of Haley's smile faded into his mind. "She was never in love with me, Peyton." he whispered. "She wanted Nathan. This whole time, it was always about him."

Peyton shook her head. "Bullshit!"

Lucas looked at her."Peyton--"

"That's Bullshit Luke! Haley loves you! She told me that! There's no way that any of this is what Haley wanted."

Lucas shook his head. "You don't know." he said. "You didn't see them together or hear her when she said--"

"What? That she loved him?" Peyton interrupted. "So what! I love Nathan too, that doesn't mean that _I _want to be with him, does it?"

Lucas frowned. "Peyton, you weren't there okay? You didn't see them kissing or hear what they said! This was different than anything I've seen between them since they were together.This was...this was more.The way they were kissing...it meant something."

Peyton froze. "They were--kissing?"

Lucas smiled tightly. "I guess you could call it kissing. Or foreplay. Both descriptions would fall under whatever they were doing in that room last night."

His tone was cold and brittle but Peyton could hear the pain interlaced in his words. He was hurting. He was _really_ hurting. But still...

"So you decided to go and make things worse by sleeping with Brooke?" she asked incredulously.

Lucas closed his eyes. "We didn't." he said quiely. "Brooke and I...we didn't sleep together."

"But you were going too, till Haley walked in."

Lucas shook his head. "I was stopping it." he said listlessly. "I realized that I loved Haley to much to do that to her whether she cared or not. I loved her too much to do that to any of us. Including Brooke."

Peyton took a deep breath. "But you didn't stop it soon enough.

Lucas shook his head slowly as he stared absently at his door. "No, not soon enough and then Haley walked in and--" he frowned."I didn't want that." he said looking at Peyton."Even with everything...I didn't want Haley to walk in on us."

Peyton glanced at his door. "Where _is _Brooke?" she asked.

Lucas shook his head. "I'm not sure. I checked her room a few minutes ago and she wasn't there." He sighed. "Wherever she is, I'm sure she's not too anxious to see me anyways."

Peyton stared at him wordlessly shaking her head. "This doesn't make sense." she said quietly. "It just doesn't make any sense..."

Lucas stared at the wall in front of him. The sound of confusion in Peyton's voice mirrored the bewilderment that he was feeling inside. He couldn't believe that Haley was gone, that she was no longer a part of his life. As far back as he could remember anything having any meaning, Haley had been there by his side. Laughing when he was silly, crying when he was hurt, taking his mind off of his problems whenever he allowed them to take over his thoughts...He suddenly remembered one time when they were eleven and he was upset because they'd walked by Nathan's house just in time to see Dan presenting him with brand new pair of sneakers right there on their immense, rolling, green front lawn. Lucas had glanced down at his own beat-up pair and wondered for the hundredth time why his dad didn't care about him. He'd forced a smile when he'd caught Haley looking at him and pretended he didn't care, but he'd known even then that she was way too smart to be fooled. Two weeks later, he'd woken up to find a brand new pair of running shoes on the floor beside his bed with no note or explanation. His mother denied buying them so he'd asked Haley if she knew about them but she'd schrugged and stared at the shoes, as dumbfounded by the anonymous gift as he was.

And then he'd bumped into her older sister Taylor at the mall the next day and found out that Haley had sold all of her CDs. Two weeks earlier...

His eyes misted at the memory and he covered his face with his hands. How was each day going to feel without her? How was he going to get through each day he saw her with Nathan without feeling sick everytime? What the hell was he going to do!

Peyton stared at her friend as he ran his hands through his hair, his eyes wide and lost. She couldn't believe how quickly she'd been yanked back down to earth. After a fabulous, problem-free night,she had tumbled head-first into complete turmoil yet again. Turmoil for her friends who fate just couldn't seem to leave alone. She took a deep breath.

"Luke." she said slowly. "I know that you think that Haley's been lying to you this whole time, but she wasn't.I know that she wasn't."

Lucas looked at her. "Peyt--" he began but she cut him off.

"No, Lucas! I _know_ that Haley loves you, whether you want to believe me or not! Even if she hadn't told me so many times--which she did!--I _see_ it! it's there in the way she looks at you and talks about you. Hell, the way she says your name shows everyone how she feels!" She stared at him willing him to listen to her, taking his hand when he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Lucas, that girl _loves _you. With everything inside of her! I don't understand why you saw what you did or what it even means but--." she looked at him smiling slightly. "Haley _lives_ in Lucas World. For her, it's Laley Forever or Bust." She squeezed his hand. " For her, it's _all_ about you."

Lucas tried to smile but it broke somewhere between his lips and his jaw, shattering against his teeth.

"That's a beautiful story, Peyt." he whispered. " but it's just that, a story. A nice, made-up fairytale. Haley told us both a great one." His eyes grew cold and bitter. "But now she's going to tell one to Nate. I hope he likes it."

Peyton sighed deeply."Lucas---"

Lucas stood forcing a smile to his face. "Look, I'm fine Peyton okay? I _will_ be all right, I just---" he looked around the room, finding signs of Haley everywhere from her hairbrush on his dresser to her favorite yellow nightshirt and suddenly he needed to go--anywhere as long as it wasn't there. "I have to get out of here for a little while. You know, to clear my head." he smiled briefly and bent down to kiss her forehead but she grabbed his arm as he pulled away.

"Lucas, please listen to me--"

"I did." he said gently. "I really did Peyt, But Haley and I...we're over. " She opened her mouth but Lucas shook his head silencing her. "Please Peyton. Just let it be. It's done, leave it alone okay?"

When Peyton didn't say anything he looked into her eyes. "Okay?"

She sighed deeply. "I don't pursue lost causes, Luke." she said quietly.

Lucas took a deep breath."Thanks." he said. He smiled at her briefly,one that didn't reach his eyes before he grabbed his keys and walked out of the room.

Peyton waited until she heard his truck start up in the driveway before she took her cell phone out of her pocket.

"I don't pursue lost causes Lucas..." she murmured under her breath as she pressed a phone number into her phone. "and you and Haley are _far_ from a lost cause."

She held the phone to her ear and waited for the person on the other end to pick up. When she heard the voice that she was waiting for, she smiled softly.

"You up for some company?" she asked.

On the other end, she heard Haley start to cry softly and her smile faded.

"Where are you?" she asked.When Haley told her, her eyes widened slightly but she nodded.

"Okay. I'll be right there."

"Peyton?" Haley whispered.

"Yeah?" Peyton asked as she stood up quickly.

"Hurry."


	36. We Were Lovers, We Were Friends

**Sorry, sorry, sorry! Two more words: Christmas Break.  
A _great_ time for forgiveness, by the way ;)**

We Were Lovers, We Were Friends  


Nathan watched silently as Haley half-hearttedly picked at her food. She stared down at her plate listlessly pushing the food back and forth with her fork. Nathan frowned worriedly and she looked up and caught him watching her. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to take a tiny mouthful, but she chewed it with difficulty, like she was eating raw eel instead of Nate's famous fluffy scrambled eggs, her all-time favorite breakfast and Nathan's frown deepened. He felt completely powerless as he stared at her thoughtfully...until a sudden thought came to mind.

"How is it?" he asked quietly as she ate another small fork-full.

Haley forced a smile. "It's great, Nate. You really outdid yourself this time. You know how much I love your eggs."

Nathan smiled wryly. "I know how much you _used _to like them." he said quietly.

Haley tilted her head at him. "Nate..." she said. "I love them!They are _really_ good. Really." she said assuredly. As if to prove her point, she took a big bite and chewed it enthusiastically.

"See?" she mumbled incoherently, her mouth full. "Mmm..."

Nathan hid a smile. He watched her take another big bite and his smile widened. He'd figured that she'd eat more if he mentioned her previous enthusiasm for his cooking. Haley hated to hurt anyone's feelings even at the cost of her own and he'd used that knowledge to get her to eat. Hey, if he had to use guilt to make her get through her funk, so be it. Haley needed sustenance whether she wanted it or not, and despite how disturbed he was by the recent revelations, he wasn't going to let her waste away. Especially with the slowly dawning realizations that had pierced through him like a knife while he was making breakfast. He'd realized a lot,making sense of so many of the things that had puzzled him since the night before. But most of all, he'd realized how important Haley was to him.She meant way too much for him to abandon her. _Too bad she doesn't feel the same way,_a voice inside of his head whispered.

He looked away from her and shoved a huge fork-full of eggs into his mouth. This time it was Haley's turn to stare.

"Hungry?" she teased quietly."You know since you're obviously starving, you can have mine too. If you want."

Nathan looked at her in surprise. That had been her first attempt at anything even remotely resembling a joke since the night before. She'd even smiled a little!

Nathan grinned slightly.He looked down at his nearly empty plate and shrugged. "No,thanks." he said looking at her."I wouldn't want to deny you the experience of my world-renowned eggs." He tried not to grin but it was hard. "Eat up."

A slow smile spread across Haley's face as she looked at him and he returned a wide smile of his own. They sat that way for a moment until he began to notice the little flecks of gold in her eyes...until he began to remember a time when those flecks lit up her eyes with passion and love whever they turned his way transforming the brown to amber---and he broke their gaze abruptly.

Focus man, he thought agitatedly. All of that is over, it's in the past. Focus on _right_ now.

Haley caught his tight grimace. "Nate?... Are you okay?" she asked slowly.

Nate looked up at her, his irritation suddenly immense. " You're in love with my brother Haley, what do _you_ think?"he said abruptly.

Haley stared at him stricken, her mouth open, before she looked away. Out the window again. "I--I'm sorry."

Nathan silently cursed himself. "Haley---"

"This was a mistake." Haley whispered putting her plate down beside her. "I knew that coming here was a mistake."

Nathan shook his head. "Haley, I didn't mean--"

Haley stood up slowly, her eyes wide in her face. "This is wrong and _so_ unfair to you. I shouldn't have--"

"Haley, it's okay." Nathan said standing to his feet."I shouldn't have said that."

Haley nodded quickly. "Yes, you should have Nathan." she said softly. "You can say pretty much anything to me at this point. I mean you've been so great to me through this whole thing! I don't-- I don't deserve this from you."

Nathan hesitated briefly before touching her. He held her arms gently as she stared up at him."Haley, you deserve a lot more than even I can give you right now, okay? Believe that." he said sincerely. "Okay, so my heart is not in the greatest shape right now." he admitted. "You're right. I mean..."he paused and looked into her eyes. "I love you Haley.Nothing that I said to you at TRIC last night has changed.My feelings are still the same." Haley bit her lip and swallowed hard as he continued. "But this morning as I was making breakfast, I thought about a lot of things, cleared up some questions I've had. And one thinhg I thought about was all the things you've said to me this summer. All the things you said whenever we were together. I realized something Haley..."

He paused again and stared intently into her eyes. "You never told me that you were still in love with me."he whispered. "You never even suggested it. From the very moment we started speaking again, you told me that all you wanted was my friendship back."

Even as he said it, he was remembering the extravagant picnic he'd set up for them, intending to romance her back into his life. He remembered the look in her eyes as he'd wached her and her face as she said..._All I want is your friendship, Nate. And I want you to trust me again. I want that guarded look that you always have around me now, to go away._She'd looked at him then, very intently..._I understand why it's there, Nate. I know I hurt you pretty badly. But I want us to start over. I want you to really see me as your friend again, to know you can tell me anything and say anything and act any way! And know that I'll still be here..._

The memory faded away and Nathan looked at Haley, his eyes a little bit sad as she looked back at him but he smiled.

"You never lied to me about your feelings Haley. They were always there, always visible. You never hid how you felt about me away.You never lied about that."

Haley's eyes were filled with tears but she continued to watch him silently and he slowly let her go. He tried to smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes as he gazed at her. "I won't say that it doesn't hurt that you have feelings for...that you're in love with my--my brother." He said quietly. "because it does. It hurts like hell. I don't like the thought of you and Lucas together. And I hate that you kept this from me. That you didn't trust me enough to tell me---"

"Nathan, it wasn't about not trusting you. I didn't want to hurt you."

Nathan shook his head. "Haley, I'm a grown man!" he said loudly. "You don't have to tiptoe around my feelings or baby me. And I hate that you think that."

Haley closed her eyes."Nathan, I don't!I don't think that. I just wanted to be sure that our friendship was solid enough to get through it all! I didn't want to lose the trust that I was just getting back--"

"Then you should have told me!"

Haley stared at him, wide-eyed at his sudden cry. They stood there silently gazing at each other for a long moment before Haley could talk.

"I'm sorry Nathan." she whispered brokenly. "I'm so sorry. For everything. I should never have kept this from you and I'm sorry that I did. I'm sorry I hurt you."

Nathan looked at her for a long moment before taking a deep breath."I know you are Haley. And eventhough I...I hate the thought of you lying to me and the thought of you with Lucas." He paused." I hate the thought of you sad even more.So don't expect any crap from me Haley. You won't get it because you don't deserve it."

Their eyes met again, his resigned, hers unsure and he took another deep breath. "Whatever you decide to do Hales, whatever decision you make...about Lucas. I'm fine with it. I will be there for you...no matter what."

Tears slowly slid down Haley's cheek as she stared up at Nathan wordlessly for a long moment. Then ever so slowly, she lay her head against his chest. "Thank you, Nathan." she whispered. "Thank you."

Nathan smiled slowly as the ache inside his chest ebbed away... a little.It was mostly still there but...somehow, it wasn't as painful. It had been a hard thing for him to say to Haley and an even harder thing for him to feel but he was sincere. Haley had been there for him so many times when he'd had no one else to turn to. It was his turn to do the same for her.

They stood that way for a long while, her head on his chest, his chin on her head before she finally looked up at him.

"Nathan?" she said slowly.

He looked at her. "Yes?'

"There is something you can do for me."

Nathan waited expectantly.

"Can I borrow your car?" she asked.

Nathan frowned. "Sure but...why?"

Haley took a deep breath. "I'm going to need it when I go back to Lucas's..."

Nathan frowned but he nodded slowly.

"...to pick up my things and bring them back here."

Nathan tried not to react but he could barely hide his relief. He had meant every word of what he'd said to Haley. But his feelings for Lucas were still not friendly and after the way he'd seen Lucas treat Haley the night before...well, to say that he wasn't his brother's biggest fan was an understatement. Still...he looked at Haley closely. Her face was set with a cool finality and her mouth was tight. But her eyes...

He frowned."Haley are you sure?" he asked slowly. "Are you sure that's what you really want to do? Maybe you should wait a couple of days. To think about it or--"

Haley shook her head firmly, her face unyielding and stoic...and yet so shattered. Like a broken piece of glass.She looked at him.

"I'm sure Nathan." she said firmly. "I have to do this. As soon as possible."

Nathan looked at her before nodding slowly. "Okay. When do you need my car?"

Haley took a deep breath. "I'm not sure yet. Sometime when...when Lucas isn't home. I'm going to ask Peyton when he's not going to be there."

Nathan nodded. He paused thoughtfully. "Peyton." he said quietly. "She must be worried out of her mind. She's probably home right now wondering what the hell's going on." He looked at her. "I'm sure Lucas or Brooke filled her in on what--happened last night but if you want to call her and explain what's been going on, you can use my---"

"Peyton already knows Nathan." Haley said abruptly.

Nathan stared at her. "Peyton already knows...what?" he asked slowly.

Haley sighed tiredly. Just when she thought that everything was out in the open, that there were no more secrets! She took a deep breath.

"Peyton's known from the beginning Nate." she said softly. "She found out about...about Lucas and I way before we even knew what was happening between us--or way before I _thought_ I knew what was happening between us--"

Nathan's mouth hung open in shock. "Peyton _knew_?" he said loudly. "This whole time, Peyton _knew_ what was going on?"

Haley closed her eyes. "She was against it in the beginning Nate. She thought we were making a mistake. She didn't agree with any of it--"

"But she kept it a secret anyways!"

"Nate, please don't be angry at Peyton."Haley pleaded softly. "Besides you and Brooke, she's just one more person who got caught up in the middle of this mess. She didn't want to keep anything from you, please believe that."

Nathan was shaking his head. It just kept getting worse. Was he the last to know everything that had been going on? He felt like the kid who'd walked in on people laughing at a joke only to realize later that the joke had been about him. Was there anyone besides him who didn't know about Haley and his brother!

He closed his eyes briefly trying to collect his thoughts. He supposed that Peyton _had_ been in a hard position and had not known what to do. He couldn't completely blame her for not saying anything to him. And as far he knew, _she_ hadn't orchestrated anything. No, he was pretty sure that she hadn't played a part in any of the disasterous revelations from the night before. But still, the fact that she'd known the _whole_ time...everytime she'd smiled at him or they'd joked around, she'd known what was going on between two of the most significant people in his life! He could barely wrap his mind around it. Was their nobody in his life that he could trust completely ! His frown deepened. He was really seriously beginning to doubt it. Haley was watching him anxiously and he took a deep breath.

"Nate?" she said quietly.

"So... Peyton tells you the coast is clear and then what?" he said changing the subject, ignoring the thoughts tumbling around inside of his head.

Haley stared at him uncertainly for a moment before running her hand through her hair. "And then I'll go get as many of my things as I can." she finally said.

Nathan looked at her. "And I'll go with you--"

Haley shook her head adamantly. "No.This is something that I have to do alone Nate." she said softly." I need to do this by myself."

Nathan stared at her. She looked so fragile and small that he doubted that she could pack a bag by herself, let alone drive to Lucas house and face all the memories and reminders of him while trying to get her things together. He knew better than anybody how hard that experience could be. He hadn't been able to leave his and Haley's apartment fast enough when he'd gone to pack up their things. How was Haley going to get through it when she couldn't get through a small plate of eggs? And what if Lucas got back early? He sighed. It didn't matter what he thought anyways.He'd known Haley long enough to know that when she made up her mind to do something, there was no arguing with her. He smiled resigned to letting her do what she felt she had to do and nodded slowly.

"Okay." he said."Just let me know when you'll need my car and I'll--"

He was interrupted by the sound of his cell phone ringing and he checked the caller ID, frowning curiously at the _unknown caller _message that flashed across the screen. He flipped it open curiously.

"Hello?"

"Nate, it's me." Brooke said hastily on the other end. Nathan glanced at Haley who watched puzzled as he turned and moved away from her in an obvious attempt to shield the call from her.

"What do you want?"

"Well hello to you too!" Brooke said sarcastically. "I was calling about the key to TRIC, Mr. Groucho. I need it back like pronto. Can you meet me?"

Nathan's eyes narrowed slightly. "When?"

"Well what are you doing right _now?" _Brooke asked hopefully.

Nathan glanced at his watch. "I'll meet you at the same place I met you last time. Do you remember where?"

"Uh, yeah! I'm not brain-damaged Nate! At _Chacha's_. Why so cryptic?"

"I have company."

Nathan could almost hear Brooke's eyes snap wide open. "Really, who?"

"That's not important. I'll meet you in a few minutes."

"Wait! Nathan--"

Nathan flipped his cell phone shut and turned around to find Haley watching him curiously.

"Let me guess," she pondered."Another hot cheerleader wants to rendez-vous with you ASAP?"

Nathan grinned. "You are too smart for your own good." he joked. Haley's smile wilted as thoughts of Lucas and Brooke rose unbidden in her mind.

"Obviously not smart enough." she murmured.

Nathan frowned. "Hales--"

She forced a smile. "Nate, go. Have fun. I'll be okay." Nathan didn't move and her smile grew wider. "Go Nate! Really, I'll be fine."

Nathan looked at her unsure and she smiled. "Peyton's on her way over here if that makes you feel any better."

Nathan tilted his head thoughtfully. "After what you just told me, I'm not sure that it does."

Haley sighed. She'd hoped that he wouldn't blame Peyton but it looked like _all _of her hopes were on vacation for the weekend. The look in Nathan's eyes shone less and less with forgiveness and more and more with betrayal and anger. She sighed.

"Nate how can you forgive me and be upset at Peyton?" she asked. "That isn't fair--

"Haley, you didn't tell me about Lucas but you never lied about your feelings for me!" Nathan interjected."Peyton saw what was going on, she could see what was happening and she didn't tell me. Why didn't she warn me--tell me something, anything?"

"Nathan--"

"Peyton and I were friends and then--_more_ long before I even knew your name Haley." Nathan interrupted. "And I thought that meant something to her."

Haley's eyes were wide and desperate as she stared at him. "It did mean something Nathan! Peyton really cares about you! Please don't blame her for my mistake. _Please._"

Nathan nodded slowly. "I won't." he said quietly. "I'll blame her for her own."

Haley frowned helplessly and Nathan grabbed his keys fom his bureau. "I've got to go." he said.

"Nate--"

He turned away from Haley and walked to the door pausing momentarily when he reached it. He didn't turn around but she sensed his disquiet when he spoke. "This won't take long. But if you need me..."

He turned and looked at her briefly motioning to his Cell. Then he smiled slightly and left the room.

"Nathan..." she called after him but she could already hear his feet on the steps.She looked up at the ceiling as if it would show her the answers to the many problems that were piling up at her feet but all she saw was the ceiling fan and the only thing it offered was cool air.

She sighed deeply and slowly sat down on the bed as she glanced at her still full plate. She knew that she should eat but she had absolutely no appetite especially after her parting words with Nathan. What she'd had with Lucas, what they'd shared despite how brief and all-consuming it had been,was complicating more than just _her_ life and she felt completely helpless to stop it. She was feeling lightheaded and her stomach was growling noisily begging her to take notice, but she put her plate on the desk and looked out the window instead.

The sky was an impossible shade of blue that shone brightly in at her for a moment before fading to a paler color, a blue that was deep and piercing and very familiar. The blue lightened and it took a moment for her to remember where she'd seen it before.But when she did, the pain came back to her in waves of endless sadness and she closed her eyes against the bright light at the window, trying to hold back the tears that continually threatened to come. And the light, a vivid blue that was uncannily close to the color of Lucas eyes shone in and surrounded her in its glow...

* * *

Nathan opened the front door just as Peyton lifted her fist to knock and they paused and stared at each other, startled. Finally Peyton lowered her hand. 

"Hey." she said quietly.

"Hey." Nathan returned, his eyes stark and tight in his face.

Peyton sighed."Okay, I guess that means you heard that--"

"That you knew about Haley and Lucas this whole time and didn't bother to tell me, yeah I heard." Nathan said tightly.

Peyton stared at him unhappily. "Nate I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but Haley and Lucas--"

"Were more important to you---_are_ more imooirtant to you than I am."

Peyton shook her head. "Nathan, that's not true!" she cried.

Nathan glared at her. "Whatever you say Peyton." he said quietly. "I've had it with explanations and apologies.Don't worry, I finally understand what you tried to tell me so many times when we broke up.We aren't friends. I guess we probably never were. I get it now."

"Nathan..."

"I've got to go. You remember your way to my room, right?"

Peyton's mouth fell open as he walked passed her out the door. She turned to watch him walk down the walkway.

"Nathan!" she called after him. But he didn't answer as he climbed into his car and started the engine and she sighed and closed the door, leaning on it heavily. She knew that it shouldn't surprise her but...Nathan was _so_ angry with her! She couldn't remember the last time he'd spoken to her with so much avid dislike! And a part of her couldn't blame him. Had the roles been reversed, she probably would have felt the same way. Still... the way he'd spoken to her, the words he'd said...He was acting like she'd been the one who broke his heart!

She shook her head and started up the stairs. With all the anger he was feeling, she couldn't believe that he was letting Haley stay with him. She suspected that not everything that Nathan was feeling for Haley was all anger and betrayal. She hoped that meant that at least part of his heart was intact. Maybe that part would listen to her once the rest of him calmed down.

Peyton stopped at his bedroom door and looked in. Haley was sitting in the middle of Nathan's bed staring across the room out of the window and Peyton felt her heart constrict inside of her chest at the sight of her. Haley looked horrible! Her face was pale and drawn and her hair hung disheveled around her face. She was wearing a familiar red dress and its vivid color accentuated the palor of her skin. And her eyes...Peyton stared at her speechlessly. Even from where she stood, Peyton could see the look of loss and pain in her friends eyes. Haley looked completely remote and alone. She looked...Peyton felt her eyes start to fill as she thought about how Haley looked. She looked...

...like she'd lost her best-friend.

"Haley?" Peyton said softly.

Haley looked at her, startled by her friend's sudden apparition and Peyton gazed at her sadly.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly.

Haley stared at her for a moment before her face, or the tight mask that she'd made it into, began to crumble right before Peyton's eyes.

"No." she managed to whisper through the ache in her throat."I'm not alright. Peyton, I don't know if I'll ever be alright again."

Peyton's eyes widened slightly at the familiarity of Haley's words, the same words that Lucas had spoken only hours ago but she didn't say anything.Without a single word, Peyton crawled onto the bed and wrapped her arms around Haley as she began to cry. Deep shuddering cries that pierced the silence of the quiet room around them. Haley didn't hold back the tears as her friend rocked her. They flooded down her cheeks wetting her dress and Peyton's t-shirt...

Reminding her that Lucas would never be there to wipe them away again.


	37. I Know What You Did Last Night

I Know What You Did Last Night

Brooke glanced at her watch for the third time since she'd arrived at _Chacha's _and sighed loudly. Leave it up to Nathan to be unusually rude, cryptic, _and_ late all in the span of forty minutes. She sighed again and surveyed the empty tables around her. Either _Chacha's_ didn't get good business on saturday afternoons or there was another mexican restaurant somewhere in town giving away free food because the place was absolutely dead. Which was surprising considering the restaurants high reviews.Maybe they needed to hire a new cooking staff or maybe... Brooke sighed loudly. She was trying so hard not to think about the previous night that even her thoughts were beginning to sound lame. Maybe if she ordered something else...

She pushed aside the drink she already had and contemplated ordering an appetizer as she picked up a menu and glanced at its contents, but although her eyes were focused intently on its main course items, her mind was quickly moving on to another wavelength entirely.

No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't stop thinking about Lucas and Haley. Like a tape set on repeat, the turbulent night kept on replaying itself over and over in her head. Like a dramatic scene in a bad movie. Or a good one, depending on how you saw it. Brooke frowned.The thing was, she wasn't sure _how_ she saw it. There were moments when she thought of how easily she'd managed to weave deception into Lucas and Haley's relationship so effortlessly, shattering their fairytale world completely and a deep sense of satisfaction twisted around inside of her.

But then she remembered Haley's tears. And the confused look in Lucas eyes after Nate had stalked out of her room...

And her pride turned into something else. Something very,very similiar to unhappiness.

And shame.

She shook herself from her thoughts and flipped her hair over her shoulders restlessly.What was she thinking! Who cared how Lucas and Haley felt, they got what they deserved! All she'd done was help what they had coming to them, along. They'd kept a huge, heartbreaking secret from everyone they professed to love not even telling those who should've known--those who _needed_ to know--the truth! Brooke frowned. No, she had no reason to feel bad. Lucas and Haley were over but they only had themselves to blame for it. And she hoped they would...over and over and over again. She smiled smugly.She would just sit back and watch.

"What's so funny?"

Brooke jumped as Nathan sat down across from her, his eyes quizzical and waiting.She hadn't seen him walk up and his silence unnerved her.

"Umm...nothing. I was just thinking about...about how funny life can be sometimes. When you least expect it to be, you know?"

Nathan shook his head. "No I don't know." he said tonelessly. "Explain it to me Brooke."

Brooke frowned slightly. There it was again. That _tone_, the same tone he'd had over the phone. One of barely suppressed anger and derision. She'd dismissed it as displaced anger after their abrupt phone conversation but now she wasn't so sure. The way he was looking at her didn't seem misplaced at all. In fact he seemed _very_ focused.She didn't understand it but it was slightly unsettling. It was almost as if he knew something that she didn't. Talk about role reversal...

She stared at him and relaxed her face, forcing a look of sadness and tired bewilderment to her features.

"I don't really know how." she said softly. "I guess it's the way you think that something or someone is a certain way only to find out that they are completely different than what you thought..." She shook her head. "It can be really mindblowing!"

Nathan nodded slowly. "I know exactly what you mean." he said.

Brooke looked at him. "Yeah, I guess you do." she said sadly. "Probably more than anyone I know."

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I mean I once knew this really gorgeous girl who had pretty much everything she wanted. I mean, she had it all! Looks, personality, intelligence...and I guess I thought that made her happy you know? Or at least happier than most people."

Brooke nodded intently and Nathan continued.

"But you see, deep down she wasn't very happy at all. Deep down she was twisted and dark, and nothing--not money, or popularity, or friends that loved her," he paused and looked her in the eye." not even leadership of an entire cheerleading squad or being class president could fill this girl with happiness."

Brooke stopped nodding and stared at him.

"No, only lies and deceit could make this girl smile. Causing pain was the only thing that got her off." He paused. "Oh. Well-- that and destroying her friends lives."

Brooke's frown grew dangerously dark. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you are _not _talking about me Nathan."

Nathan stared at her. "Um, wrong. Guess again."

Brooke's mouth fell open. "What the _hell_ is your problem! I know that you didn't have a good night last night but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on me!"

Nathan shook his head. "Oh cut the bull Brooke!" he said angrily. He looked her in the eye."I know."

Brooke's breathing stilled for the barest of moments but she widened her eyes in confusion and looked at him without flinching."What do you mean, _you know_?" she asked. "You know what?"

Nathan shook his head slowly. "Wow." he whispered. "You really have this lying thing down, don't you?"

Brooke felt her heart drop into her Steve Madden pumps. He knew! Somehow Nathan knew what she'd done and to say that he was pissed was an undertstatement. But how! She'd covered all her bases--or at least she thought she had! Had someone figured it out? Did they _all_ know? How did _he_ know!

On the outside Brooke's face didn't register even a tiny bit of what she was thinking. She shook her head in bewilderment.

"Nathan, I have no idea what you're talking about! I haven't lied to you about anything--"

"Brooke, cut the crap! You've been lying to me since this whole thing began!"

Brooke frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Nathan glared at her. "What am I talking about? Okay gee, let me see if I can explain this to you." he said leaning forward. "Last night, when everything came out, I was shocked. _Really_ shocked. I mean you could have pushed me over with a feather. And I looked over at you, thinking that you were as stunned as I was, that maybe I might even need to help you out of that room. But when Iooked at you, you know what I saw Brooke?"

Brooke fixed a look of deep confusion on her face. "Yes, you saw me doing a great impression of a girl who was trying not to scream--"

"Actually, no." Nathan said softly. "That's just it Brooke. I didn't see that at all. I saw you _smiling_. I saw you watch the guy you've been in to for literally years say that he'd been having a secret relationship with one of your best-friends...and I saw you smile."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Sure, I suppose I _was_ smiling. Right after I did a cheer."

Nathan watched her carefully. "So you're denying what I saw with my own eyes?" he asked. "You're calling me a liar?"

Brooke sighed._Keep your cool, Davis,_she thought silently. "No Nate, I'm not. I'm saying that it was a very emotional night and we both probably saw and heard alot of things that weren't exactly accurate. The whole night was very intense."

Nathan nodded. "Well...I guess I shouldn't expect you to tell me the truth after all the lies you've already told me."

Brooke frowned. "Nate--"

"But I know what I saw. And this morning I thought about it. I thought about a lot of things, but mostly I wondered how I could've been so wrong about Haley's feelings for me--how I even got wrapped up in this whole mess! You see, I never thought I'd speak to Haley ever again after she left me and yet-- there I was! Standing in the kitchen, making her eggs, feeling like hell but back in love with her!" He looked at her. "And it made me wonder,_how did I get here? _How did I get to place where I was making breakfast for Haley again?"

Brooke's mouth fell open as she slowly put two and two together. "You were making Haley _breakfast_ ?" she gasped. "You let her spend the night and you made her breakfast after what you found out last night? Are you _kidding me_!"

Despite herself, Brooke felt her face warm with anger. Even after everything she'd done, Haley had once again landed right back on top! How the hell did that girl manage to always end up with whatever she wanted? She even had Nathan cooking her breakfast not twenty-four hours after she'd revealed less than some people did on _Jerry Springer_! Brooke swallowed her anger and tried to force it down and keep her expression neutral, but the thought of Haley living it up in Nathan's huge house when she should be crying somewhere alone in shame, was making it even harder to keep her deception hidden.She frowned incredulously.

"Nathan, this girl had chewed you up and spit you out on more than one occasion! She's lied to you and left you for other guys _twice_ now--one of whom was your own _brother_! She's a liar! How can you even look at her?"

Nathan stared at her. "I can look at you, can't I?"

Brooke's mouth fell open as her cheeks warmed. "I have never lied to you Nathan." She said in a low voice.

"Oh really?" Nathan hissed. "So when you called me all those weeks ago and asked me to keep Haley occupied because she was getting in between you and Lucas--getting in between your attempts to reconnect with him--you weren't lying to me then Brooke?"

Brooke had to work hard to keep her face masked in confusion. "What! Nate I wasn't lying about that! Now we know that _I_ was actually the one getting in the way but at the time I thought that Lucas wanted to be with _me_."

Nathan shook his head as he thought about that fateful morning weeks ago when he'd decided to give Haley another chance. A chance to be in his life.He remembered that he'd initially balked at the idea because he'd _thought_ that Brooke had been up to something and after her staged dramatics on the phone when he'd called her--he'd _known_. If only he'd followed his instincts...

"You wanted me to get back into Haley's life so that we'd either reconnect and I'd take her away or we'd make Lucas jealous and he'd do something stupid like hook up with you. Which he did." He added scornfully as he looked at her. "That's it isn't it Brooke? That's why you wanted me back in Haley's life." He glared at her angrily. "Just admit it!"

_Deny,deny,deny! _Brooke thought as she shook her head. "That's not true Nathan. I wanted time with Lucas that Haley always seemed to occupy. And I admit that I thought that it would be good for you to start talking to Haley again.But initially, I thought that you two could be friends."

Nathan's glare intensified. "Friends?" he said his voice disturbingly quiet and soft. "Is that why you told me to make a picnic lunch for Haley the day we hung out at the courts? Back then I thought you were giving me some random, friendly advice. But you weren't, were you? Even _that_ was planned."

Brooke allowed tears to fill her eyes. "I gave you that idea so that you'd have something interesting to do Nate." she said stiltedly. " I was trying to be a friend--"

"Wow, with friends like you..." Nathan said leaving the sentiment unfinished.

Brooke felt the anger boil over inside of her. "Yeah with friends like me Nate!" she cried."What other friends do you have? I hope I don't have to tell you that Lucas and Haley are definitely not your friends! And Peyton--Peyton knew about this the whole damn time and she didn't bother to tell either of us about it! But where is she during this blindsighted tirade against me? Not here, no it's blame Brooke time because of course it's somehow all my fault and not either of your precious exes! Heck, Peyton's probably at your house right now too sipping cocoa in your bed!"

Real tears ran down Brooke's face as she gazed across the table at Nathan. "I can't believe that you would treat me this way after all the things I've done for you. All the ways I've helped you--"

"Helped me?" Nathan interrupted. "How exactly have you helped me, Brooke? Do you mean when you _helped _me by telling me that I should kiss Haley at TRIC--that she told you she _wanted_ me too?"

Brooke balked completely at that one. She'd assumed that Nathan would never tell Haley that she'd told him to kiss her because she knew that Nathan's pride would never allow him to do so. But now...she wasn't sure. Maybe that's how he'd figured it all out. Maybe he and Haley had put two and two together! She decided to feel him out.

"If Haley told you that she didn't say that to me then _she_'s the one who's lying to you Nate, not me!"

"Haley has no idea that you told me anything Brooke. _She _hasn't been the one lying to me!"

Brooke stared at him. "How can you say that!" she said incredulously. "Haley has done nothing but lie to both of us. About everything! I'm as much a victim in this as you are Nathan!"

Nathan scoffed. "Brooke you're about as much of a victim to Haley as a shark is to a goldfish."

Brooke stared at him stunned as she slowly shook her head. "Wow. Haley must be half-witch as well as half-bitch to have pulled the wool over your eyes so efficiently." she said bitterly. "But I refuse to be treated like this anymore. I never lied to you Nathan and it really hurts that you don't believe me." She squeezed out a few more tears. "All I was trying to do was get you and Haley to rediscover what you guys lost--"

Nathan chuckled loudly. "You are so blatantly lying to me right now that I can't believe I didn't see it all those times before!" he said bitterly."It was never about me and Haley, Brooke. It was about you. It's _always _been about you! So what happened? Did you get jealous of how close Lucas and Haley were and decide to ruin it only to find out how close they _really_ were? Or did you find out about them and hatch together some plot for revenge no matter how you got it or who you used in the process?" He shook his head in wonder as he gazed at her."Hey you know, maybe I should be thanking you. At least I was first on _your_ list!"

Brooke was shaking her head adamantly, a gesture that only served in infuriating Nathan even more. He leaned towards her, his eyes flashing blue and silver.

"Do you realize what you've done Brooke?" He said sharply. "You wanted to help me? Well guess what? You did! You helped me open up my heart to Haley again!Open it up to all the pain and all the hurt that bit us all in the asses last night. All your lies and deceptions made me believe that maybe it was possible for Haley and me again. It made me believe--" his voice broke but his anger propelled him forward. "It made me believe that Haley and I had a chance."

He paused and looked into her eyes. "You _have_ helped,Brooke."he said softly." You helped to break my heart again."

For a moment his icy stare broke and she caught a glimpse of the deep ache that he was feeling. The look of complete hopelessness. Nathan's heart _was_ broken. Again. And she _had_ helped. Hell, she'd orchestrated some of it!

For a moment, Brooke's mask slipped and her true feelings drifted to the surface as she looked at him. Her regret at having involved him at all, shone clearly in her eyes for a moment and she reached for his hand hesitantly.

"Nathan," she said slowly." I'm sorry for any part that you think I may have played in this whole sordid mess." she said sincerely. "Believe me when I say that you are the last person I would have wanted to see hurt. The last."

Nathan stared at her silently, his eyes travelling across her face. Then he smiled.

"You're good." he said amused. "You are _really_ good! You almost looked like you were telling me the truth that time." He clapped his hands sarcastically. "Bravo. Really, that was Oscar-worthy Brooke!Thanks for the performance. I think I hear Hollywood calling your name." His smile faded away. "Why don't you go there?"

Brooke's sincere gaze faded and she swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. She couldn't believe that Nathan was being so awful to her but she supposed that she deserved it. Even if he didn't know that for sure. She straightened her back and flipped her hair over her shoulders resolutely as their eyes met in silence.

"Well, I was going to treat you to lunch but I guess that's out of the question." she said glibly, pretending that she was completely fine and that Nathan's words hadn't hurt her at all. She supposed it was only appropriate that she was lying to herself now. "I suppose you prefer not to eat with liars and since you think that's what I am..."

Nathan stared at her unyielding and cold and she swallowed again. "Whatever you believe Nathan, at some point maybe you'll see the truth and maybe then I'll be willing to forgive you for all the things you've said to me today. Or maybe you'll believe this crap that you've pulled out of nowhere and we'll just never be friends again."

"If we ever were." Nathan interjected. "I don't think friends lie to each other Brooke. But, hey...that's just me."

Brooke glared at him. She knew he was hurt but he was going way beyond the highest point on the ass-meter. Still, she couldn't afford to lose anymore friends and despite his harsh words, Nathan was one of the few real ones that she had left.

She let some of the hurt that she was really feeling slip to the surface. "Maybe we'll never be friends again." she repeated as she looked at him."But if you ask my opinion, you really can't afford to lose anymore friends right now. You're kind of running a little low in that department,don't you think?"

Nathan stared at her. "No Brooke, you're right." he admitted."I can't afford to lose any friends. That's why losing you is no great loss."

Brooke stared at him, stunned into silence as he stood up.

"You can keep on lying to me and anyone else that got pulled into your twisted plan."he said looking deeply into her eyes. "But you can't lie to herself Brooke. And when you're all alone wondering where all your friends are, there's only going to be one person to blame." He stared at her. "One guess as to who that's going to be."

Brooke was silent as he reached inside his pocket and tossed Peyton's key on the table in front of her.

"Here you go. Thanks by the way. Considering last night's events, I guess your little plan worked." He tilted his head at her and scoffed, shaking his head as he turned to walk away and Brooke suddenly felt a slow panic begin to rise inside of her. She didn't want to admit anything to him but she had to know.She had to be sure.

"So I guess you're off to spread your paranoia to someone else." she called after him."Should I wait for the angry mob or should I just leave on a jet plane asap?"

Nathan stopped and slowly turned around to face her. His lips were twisted into a smirk but his eyes were clear and knowing.

"Why Brooke, if I didn't know any better I would say that you sound worried. If you haven't done anything, why the sudden fear?"

Brooke glared at him. "There's no fear here Nate." she said confidently. "I _haven't_ done anything." She paused. "Of course...if Lucas and Haley were to think I _had_, if they thought that I played _any_ role in their break-up, how long do you think it would take for Haley to be back in his arms? To back in his bed? How long do you think Haley would need your shoulder to cry on if she thought this was all just one big mistake?" She stared at Nathan expressionlessly, her words holding more meaning than she was willing to say.Then she smiled coldly. "But hey, do what you have to do. I'm sure it will all work out in the end, right?"

Nathan stared at her wordlessly for a long moment. Then he nodded slowly. "I'm sure it will." he said tonelessly. Then he turned and started to walk away.

"Hope you and Lucas are happy together." He threw over his shoulder as he left. "However long that may last."

Brooke kept her smile intact and stared straight ahead until long after he was gone. She paid for her virgin mango daiquiri and walked to her car, smoothly sliding on her seatbelt and starting the engine simultaneously. She didn't cry. She _wouldn't_.

No matter how badly she wanted to.


	38. He Loved Me, He Loved Me Not

He Loved Me, He Loved Me Not

Peyton rubbed Haley's back gently. They had been sitting in silence for what seemed like a long time, the quiet room occasionally punctuated by Haley's attempts at a deep calming breath but Peyton didn't speak. She knew that eventhough Haley's tears had stopped, she was nowhere near feeling any better than she'd been feeling since the previous night, and she didn't know what she could say that would make the situation any less painful.

Despite all that Haley had seen and heard the night before, Peyton knew the truth. Haley and Lucas's hearts belonged to each other and to no one else, she was completely sure of that fact. But somehow she didn't think that Haley believed what was true anymore and Peyton could almost not blame her. Afterall, how many times could a girl take seeing her boyfriend in bed with another girl--the _same _girl-- before she assumed it was over?

Haley took a deep breath and slowly pulled away from her friend. "Thank you." she said sincerely. "For coming here so quickly.You're such a good friend Peyton."

Peyton looked away. "I'm not sure how much longer you'll believe that after you hear what I have to say."

Haley stared at her."What do you mean?" she asked wearily.

Peyton looked into her eyes. "I mean that...I think that what happened last night was a big mistake and you and Lucas need to talk and work this out." she said quietly."Because you two belong together."

Haley stared at her speechless for a moment before Peyton's words finally fully registered. She shook her head and looked around the room before looking at Peyton. "You're joking right?" she said with disbelief. "There must be hidden cameras in this room or--maybe I just didn't hear you right. I could have sworn that you just said that Lucas and I need to _work_ this out because we _belong_ together?"

Peyton exhaled loudly. "I know he made a mistake Haley--"

"Made a mistake?" Haley stood up and whirled around to face her friend. "Peyton, he was in bed with Brooke! Half-naked! _Again!_ Did he tell you _that_?"

Peyton nodded. "Yes, he did Haley." she said quietly. "And I know how much that hurts you--how angry and betrayed you must feel.But he was stopping it! He wasn't going to sleep with Brooke. He feels awful that you even saw that--"

Haley chuckled bitterly. "I'm sure he does." she said sarcastically. "I'll sure he even cried himself to sleep last night--in Brooke arms! Whatever--none of that matters anymore! It's over."

Peyton shook her head. "Haley, he loves you!"

"Loves me!" she cried incredulously. "Lucas never loved me Peyton! Don't you see? _I_ was just a mistake to him. I was an idea he had until Brooke suddenly changed her mind. He was never in love with me, he lied! He lied to _me_!"

She felt tears sliding down her cheeks again and she wiped at them angrily.She was so tired of wasting them on Lucas! When would they stop!She was seriously beginning to wonder if they ever would.

"Haley, Lucas didn't lie about his feelings for you." Peyton said with quiet assurance. "I know what last night must have looked like but I _see_ you two together. I see the way you look at each other and I hear the way you say each others name. What you two had wasn't a lie. I've seen it! It's real. It's _real, _Haley!"

Haley shook her head, her hands in her hair, her eyes closed tightly at Peyton's words.She couldn't hear this right now. She finally knew the truth and she wasn't going to let Lucas lies tear it away again.

"I know it's hard for you to believe that it wasn't real Peyt." she whispered. "Nobody knows better than I do how real it looked...how real it felt. But Lucas never wanted me. He didn't! And you know, I really don't think he set out to hurt me. I really don't. When he lost Brooke, maybe he wanted something to happen between us so badly that he _made_ himself want me. I know that in the beginning at least, he didn't set out to hurt me, I do. He did care about me." Tears streamed down her face as she stared at her friend. "I mean we've been best-friends for years and I know _that_ was real, I know it was." She smiled brokenly. "But _this_ wasn't Peyton. Lucas was never in love with me. He lied. About everything. Last night just...just spoke in volumes that he couldn't."

Peyton looked at her friend, her face an odd mixture of unyielding certainty and deep confusion. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. From _both_ Lucas and Haley! Overnight, two of her closest friends had suddenly decided that what they had wasn't real--had never _been_ real-- and it just didn't make any sense at all. Lucas and Haley _were_ in love, whether they were willing to accept it or not. She'd seen it--heck, she _still_ saw it in both of their eyes despite the fact that it was now mostly shielded by pain. So how did it all suddenly change so abruptly?

Despite the fact that Lucas had ended up in bed with Brooke, as far as they knew he'd never actually done anything irrevocable.Peyton knew that both times Haley had been hurt and she could understand that, but Haley knew that the most that could have happened--hadn't happened. So why was she still so convinced that Lucas wanted Brooke? And why was Lucas so sure about Haley's feelings for Nathan?

Peyton shook her head in bewilderment. Something wasn't right. She suddenly couldn't shake the feeling that none of what Lucas and Haley were going through was as straightforward as it looked. Something was going on and she had a feeling that her friends were completely unaware of it. And why would they be? Both of them were too busy trying to deal with the false realization that the love of their lives, didn't love them back.

Haley had walked over to the window and was staring out bleakly and Peyton walked to her side. They both looked down at the Scotts' immense property in silence before Peyton touched her friends shoulder.

"Haley," she said softly. "I know that you don't believe this, and at this point I can see how you wouldn't. But I _know_ that Lucas feelings for you are real."

"Peyton--"

"No, hear me out. You don't believe him?" she said staring intently into her friends eyes."Well believe me. Not too long ago, Lucas told me that he loved you more than anything. He said that he never wanted to be with anyone else ever again and that he had found the love of his life." Peyton looked into Haley's eyes. "He said that about _you_ Haley! Now why would he have said that to me if what you two shared was all a lie?"

Haley was crying silently, her eyes closed tightly.She didn't look at Peyton as she shook her head uncertainly.

"Peyton, I don't know." she admitted. "I don't know why he said that to you or why he felt that he needed to lie to me--I don't! All I know is that he did lie. To both of us."

Peyton sighed. "Haley I--"

"Please don't Peyt." Haley said softly."Please stop. I know that Lucas is your friend too and you want both of us to be okay but I can't..." she shook her head. "I can't do this. I can't rehash everything that I went through with Lucas with you. It's over."

Peyton shook her head. "Haley, I don't think--"

"It's over Peyton!" Haley said again. "And I'm trying to accept it and I need you to help me do that okay?"

Peyton looked at her wordlessly and Haley looked intently into her eyes.

"_Can_ you help me do that Peyton?" she asked. "Can you help me put this behind me?"

Peyton caught her tone and frowned. "Help you how?"

Haley took a deep breath. "I'm moving out of Lucas' house. Obviously I can't stay there now."

Peyton shook her head. "Haley, Luke would never ask you to leave--"

"I know. I'm leaving because I want to. I have to."

Peyton stared at her. "Where are you going to--"

Haley looked around them briefly motioning to the room. "Here. I'm going to stay here. Nathan said I could stay in a guest room. Until I figure out my next move."

Peyton eyes widened slightly. "Nathan said you could stay...here?"

Haley nodded. "I know." she said at Peyton's surprised expression. "I was really shocked when he suggested it too. But Nate...He's been _really_ great to me throughout this whole thing."

Peyton nodded slowly. She wasn't sure that staying at Nathan's house was the best idea for Haley. She realized that Haley's options were limited but still...

"You know, you could stay with me." Peyton suggested."I could move back into my house and we could do the whole roomie thing--"

"Till your dad got home. And then it would just be weird." Haley said shaking her head.She looked around them."No, I think this is a good idea at least for the time being."

"Are you sure Haley?" Peyton asked intently. "Are you sure that moving here is the best idea?"

Haley was silent for a moment before she nodded. "I do."she said softly. "I actually think that...that this might be good for Nathan too. Maybe it will help him to forgive me or get through his feelings if I'm here---I don't know." She ran her hands through her hair."I don't know how but I think this will be good for both of us." She looked at her friend. "But I still need your help." she said.

Peyton nodded slowly. "Anything. What do you need me to do?''

Haley paused. "I need you to keep Lucas occupied tomorrow afternoon so I can go pick up my things."

Peyton frowned. "Hold on." she said trying to understand Haley's full meaning. "You want me to...to keep Lucas distracted while you move out!" she asked incredulously.

Haley sighed."Peyton--"

"You're not going to tell him or even say goodbye--you're just going to--leave!"

Haley looked away. "I just can't see him yet Peyton. I can't look into his eyes. I'm not--I'm not ready."

Peyton felt a tinge of compassion as she stared at her friend but she knew that what Haley wanted to do wasn't right.For any of them.

"I understand that Haley. I know it will be hard for you to see him after--well after everything that's happened. But I can't do that to Lucas. He opened his home to both of us. And I know he hurt you but he still deserves more than an empty room with a goodbye note on the door."

Haley bowed her head for a moment before looking up at her friend. "You're right." she said quietly. "I won't leave without letting him know that I'm going." She looked at Peyton. "Can you tell him?"

Peyton stared at her surprised. "You want me to tell Luke--"

"That I'm moving out."

"Haley--"

"Please Peyt!I need you to do this for me. I can't see him yet, I just can't!" Her eyes were wide and desperate. "Can you please tell him? Can you do that for me?"

Peyton stared at her for a moment before sighing deeply."Okay..." she said slowly."I'll do it."

"And then you'll tell me when he's not there so I can pick up my things?"

Peyton didn't answer right away but after another moment she nodded, seemingly resigned to Haley's decision.

To Haley, she looked like a friend who was finally accepting the inevitable. But inside of Peyton's mind, a sudden idea was slowly coming together. Haley didn't want to see Lucas and Lucas was convinced that it was over between them. But Peyton knew that it wasn't. If only they would talk to each other, she was sure they could work it out. It was only a matter of getting them in the same room...and keeping them there.She looked at Haley and smiled resolutely.

"I'll let you know when he's not home tomorrow." she said quietly.She took her hand. "It'll be alright Haley. You'll see."

Haley smiled hesitantly. "Thank you Peyton. I know that this is hard for you but I appreciate your help. I really do." She reached for her friend."Thank you."

"Thank me later." Peyton said softly as she hugged her back tightly. Haley closed her eyes, a sad smile stretching across her mouth so she didn't see the determined look on her friends face. Which was just as well...

It probably would have worried her.

* * *

Lucas pulled into his driveway and turned off the engine, but he didn't get out right away. Instead, he sat in his truck quietly staring at the house that had seemed more like a home in the last couple of months than it had in a long time. He thought about the beginning of the summer, the night that Haley had shown up at his door, broken and alone, her face streaked with tears. She hadn't said anything but she hadn't had to--the look on her face had said it all. He'd reached for her and she'd collapsed in his arms, sobbing uncontrollably while she tried to speak. The only words he'd understood were _Nathan_, _hate, _and _Anullment, _but he'd understood enough to know what was at the root of her pain.

Lucas face tightened as the memories assaulted him one by one. He should have bolted then, or at least distanced himself. He should have shielded his heart.He would have, if he'd known... But he'd held her instead. Long into the night when her cries became hiccups and her stilted breaths slowed and she was asleep,he held her. He'd carried her into his bedroom and laid her on the bed and stayed by her side until dawn when she'd finally awoken.

She'd opened her eyes and he'd been the first thing she'd seen...and she'd smile this--this beautiful, peaceful smile.It had awakened something in him even then, something he'd dismissed as protectiveness at the time, something that he'd only later realized was more. She'd awakened his heart, his passion for her which had lain dormant till that moment when she'd looked at him. And he'd finally _seen_ her...

Lucas closed his eyes against the sudden ache that started in his chest again. It had been fleeting all day but he'd managed to bury it deep for the most part. It was only in the moments that he realized his immense loss that it tried to build inside him again, threatening to undo him, to make him lose any calm that he had left.

Lucas took a deep breath and climbed out of his truck. Haley had taken his heart but he refused to to let her take over his mind as well. He needed to keep moving, keep busy, anything to keep her off his mind and out of his thoughts--anything.

He was walking to his door when he heard a car drive up and idle briefly before stopping. His heart jumped as he turned around.

"Haley..?" The word was out of his mouth before he could stop himself but he didn't care as he looked back, he only hoped. But it was Brooke that glared coldly as she stalked towards him.

"Sorry, but no. Your secret girlfriend is at Nathan's as we speak but if you hurry I'm sure you can catch her before she takes off again.I'm only guessing but since she's done with you,I think that Chris is next on her list of repeat-lovers."

Lucas froze at her words, his mind slowly letting them sink in as she walked passed him into the house. His heart thudded painfullly in his chest. Haley was at Nathan's? Was that where she'd been this whole time? He frowned, hurt and anger spreading through him all over again. But of course that's where she was. That was where she had wanted to be all along. Still he'd wondered the night before. He'd wondered if maybe...Maybe he was wrong.

When she'd found him and Brooke together, there had been this look in her eyes...A look he hadn't expected. A look that made him wonder for a brief moment...

But if he'd had any doubt, Brooke had just put them all to rest. Haley was where she belonged.She'd finally gotten what she'd always wanted. The ache in his chest slid into his stomach and he closed his eyes against the images of Haley and Nathan that tried to form. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted as Brooke suddenly walked back out of the house with an overnight bag and marched past him towards her car.

He grabbed her arm. "Brooke, wait. Please." he said. "We need to talk."

Brooke pulled from his grasp. "Talk about what Lucas? I think I heard all that I needed to hear last night but thanks for the attempt. Maybe next time you should try talking to me about your true feelings _before_ I fall in love with you!"

Lucas paused stunned by her words and she started for her car again but he stopped her.

His eyes were wide and sad as he stared at her. "Brooke, please stop for a second. I need to say--I _want_ to say--I'm sorry." he said sincerely. "I am _so_ sorry for not telling you what was really going on. I wanted too so many times but there were reasons why I couldn't tell you right away. I was waiting for the right time--"

"The right _time_?" Brooke said incredulously. "What does that mean Lucas? Why couldn't you just open your mouth and tell me? There were so many times that you could have just said it, 'Brooke I'm in love with Haley!' How hard is that? Did you think I wouldn't be able to deal? Did you think that I'd suffer some kind of a meltdown, because I assure you that I'm alot stronger than you obviously thought."

"I know that Brooke," Lucas said quietly."I know--"

"Then why didn't you just tell me!" Brooke suddenly cried."Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"

Lucas looked away wordlessly and she felt her throat fill as she gazed at him and her pain was real as the tears fell down her cheeks.

He looked at her again and saw her crying and hated himself for being the cause of her tears again. He reached for her but she pulled away.

"I didn't want to break your heart again Brooke." he said quietly. "I was waiting for a time when you'd be able to understand. I didn't want you to go through what you went through before. I remember how hard it was for you, how badly you felt--the last time. When Peyton and I..." His voice faded away as she shook her head with disgust.

"When you and Peyton did this to me before?" she finished bitingly.

Lucas took a deep breath."This was different Brooke. What Haley and I have--what I thought we _had_--was so much more---"

"Save it Lucas!" Brooke said closing her eyes against the onslaught of his words. "Just save it." She opened her eyes. "Do you really think that I want to hear all the disgusting details of you and that--that traitorous slut?"

Lucas frowned darkly. "Brooke, I know you're hurt but don't--"

Brooke's eyes flashed dangerously. "Don't you _dare_ defend her to me after what you two have done,don't you dare! I've had enough of being treated like shit while Haley gets treated like some freakin' princess!"

Lucas closed his eyes. "Brooke--"

She scowled at his, her hazel eyes flashing green."Just tell me one thing Luke, just _one_ thing. You owe me that at least."

Lucas looked at her, his eyes clear and undaunting in his face as he looked at her. "Yes, I do." he said resolutely.

Brooke stared at him. "If you were so in love with Haley, if what you two had was _so_ great-- why did you kiss _me? _Why did you make out with me wednesday? And why did we almost make _love_ last night, Luke? _Why_?" she asked.

Lucas looked at her. "I don't know Brooke." he said softly. "When I told you that I couldn't remember what we did on wednesday, I was being honest. I don't know why and I don't understand how I could have been so exhausted as to have forgotten, but that's the truth. I can't remember most of the things we did, or the things that I said. And last night," he paused. "last night the same thing happened again."

Brooke stared at him, feigning confusion and disbelief. "You mean...you don't remember? You don't remember any of what happened?"

Lucas ran a hand through his hair. "I remember most of what happened last night. But then it gets a little foggy right before Haley--" his voice broke. "right before she left." He frowned in concentration. "And then I remember Nathan leaving but--that's it. And then this morning, I woke up in bed." He looked at her, his voice bewildered and helpless. "I don't even remember how I got there."

Brooke looked away as guilt tried to rear its ugly head inside of her again, but she managed to keep it restrained as she looked at Lucas.

"So you're telling me that you're sorry but you don't remember kissing me, or touching me, or almost making love to me? And I should just forgive you for that? I should just forgive you for not telling me what was going on this whole time behind my back?"

Lucas exhaled loudly. His eyes were closed as he ran his hands through his hair again. "No, I'm not asking you to forgive me Brooke. I know that I've hurt you and I know that you're angry with me and you should be." he opened his eyes. "but I want you to know that I care about you and that I didn't want to hurt you." He reached for her hand but thought better of it and dropped his hand to his side. "I know you may not believe this, but you are important to me and I hate that I've ruined our friendship and damaged your trust in me. I _hate_ that and I'm really sorry." he said huskily.

Brooke stared at the ground. There it was again. That pesky little guilt-thing rising in her chest, threatening to make her blurt out the whole ugly truth. She needed to get away from Lucas for a while, at least for the night. She needed to clear her head and regain perspective and that wouldn't happen if she had to look into his soft blue eyes for a moment longer. She lifted her head.

"I'm glad you got that off your chest, Luke." she said expressionlessly. "And I hope you feel better. Because I sure as hell don't." She turned to go. "I'm done here."

She pushed passed him and he started after her.

"Brooke--"

"Lucas please just--stop! I don't want to hear anymore right now,okay? I'm going to Bevin's. She said that I can sleep there tonight."

Lucas frowned. "Brooke you don't have to do that--"

"Yes, I do Luke." Brooke said as she opened her Beetle and threw her bag on the passenger seat. "I can't be here tonight.Last night was hard enough. I need to get out. I don't know about tomorrow or next week but tonight--" She looked at him, her eyes filling as she gazed at his bereft face. "I just...I can't do this tonight."

"Brooke--"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Lucas."

She started her car and pealed out of the driveway and Lucas watched her drive away helplessly. He watched her car until it disappeared around the corner before he turned around and slowly walked into his house. Alone.

With images of soft brown eyes drifting in and out of his thoughts...


	39. See a Pillbox, Pick It Up

See a Pill-box, Pick It Up...  


When Nathan walked into his house later on that evening, it was quiet and still. He frowned as he locked the door behind him and slowly turned to stare up the stairs. Peyton's car was gone so he assumed that she wasn't there but the deep silence around him made him wonder if she'd taken Haley with her.

His frown deepened. He wouldn't put it past Peyton to play matchmaker and try to get Lucas and Haley back together again, no matter what Lucas had done. Peyton never seemed to think straight whenever Lucas was involved.

He grabbed the bannister and lept up the stairs, taking them two at a time,trying to tell himself that he wasn't hurrying and that he didn't care about who he might or might not find waiting because it really didn't matter to him if Haley was gone. But he was at the door in two long-legged strides. His bedroom door was closed and he knocked briefly before turning the knob and slowly peering inside.

"Haley...?" He called as he surveyed the empty room. When she didn't answer him, he walked further into the room and looked around.

It was as if Haley had never been there. Every sign of her from her carelessly tossed shoes in the corner to the breakfast tray he'd carried up to the room that morning was gone. Haley was gone.Peyton had single-handedly succeeded in making things worse.

Nathan stood silently staring at the room for a moment before he walked out, closing the door behind him. Several different emotions tore through him as he walked down the hall and into the exercise room but he could barely make any of them out and really, he didn't want too. Nathan suddenly wished that he couldn't feel at all.

He slowly pulled off his t-shirt and walked over to the stereo, briefly pushing a couple of buttons before sitting down at his Bowflex machine. As the All-American Rejects blasted from the speakers, he started to work out trying desperately to block out all the emotions that were bombarding him at the thought of Haley and Lucas back together. He wouldn't allow himself to think about it. He didn't care--he wouldn't! If Haley was so hell-bent on destroying herself then who was he to stand in her way? He'd wanted to protect her, to help her get over what being with Lucas seemed to do to all of the girls he cared about, but there was only so much that he could do. If she wanted to stand in front of the oncoming,out-of-control train-wreck that was his brother, he wasn't going to stand in front of her. Not anymore.

And not only for her sake.

He gritted his teeth as he lifted a pair of weights, her face immerging in his thoughts, so sad and unsure. He'd wanted to erase that look from her eyes for good. He'd wanted to make her happy again and he _could have._ If she'd only given him a chance--just one more chance--

"Hey."

Nathan almost fell off the machine at the sound of her voice. He looked up as Haley peered in at him from the door way. Her hair was wet and she had on a pair of his old pajamas, the pant legs rolled up to past her ankles and the sleeves hangings past her fingers.

She'd never looked more beautiful to him.

"What...what are you doing here?" he heard himself say. "I mean...where were you?"

Haley smiled puzzled by his tone. "Um...bathing? It's actually something that I do often. Somtimes twice a day, even--"

He tried to smile but his mouth wouldn't move. "I thought you left...I mean I hoped you hadn't but my room was empty and Peyton's car's gone..." His voice trailed away and Haley walked over to the stereo and turned it down, her forehead puckered uncertainly.

"You thought that I...that I went back to Lucas' house?" she asked bewildered.

Nathan looked at her for another moment before getting up and turning off the stereo completely."Yeah, I guess I did."

Haley stared at him. "Nathan, that's not going to happen. Lucas has hurt me more deeply than anyone I've ever..." her voice trailed away as Nathan watched her. She cleared her throat and tried again. "What Lucas and I had is over. Our friendship, our...our---whatever it was...it's done. And there's no going back.We aren't a part of each other's lives anymore so I most certainly am not going back to his house to do anything but get my things."

Nathan tried to hide his relief but the telltale smile on her lips told him that he hadn't done a great job of it. He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair.

"So, does that mean that you're staying here? For a while at least?"

Haley nodded as she looked around the room. "Yeah it looks like..." she said softly. Then she looked at him uncertainly. "That's if..I still can?"

Nathan tilted his head thoughtfully. "Well...I guess so..." he said slowly causing her eyebrows to arch. "There's one condition though."

Haley looked at him, her forehead puckered with curiousity. "Oh yeah? What's that?" she asked.

Nathan smiled slowly. "Well..." he said sliding by her slowly.His smile melted into a grin. "Last one to the kitchen, cooks supper for a week!"

He ran out the door and Haley stood immobile, completely stunned for a moment--until she heard his feet pounding down the stairs.She hurried after him, a wide, genuine smile breaking through the deep sadness on her face for the first time that day.

"Hey, no fair you had a head start!" she yelled as she ran down the stairs after him. "Nate,come on! I'm your guest and guest don't cook for their hosts!It just isn't done...Nate!"

His only response was loud laughter and she couldn't help but laugh herself as she hurried after him. It was her first real laugh since the night before and it felt good to do it. It felt good to do pretty much anything else that didn't involve crying. She was sure that she'd get back to that before the night was through.

But for a little while at least, she was going to laugh.

* * *

Peyton walked into the dark house and looked around quietly. 

"Hello? Anyone here?" she called. "Lucas?... Brooke?"

There was no answer and she locked the door behind her. The house was eerily quiet, a strange contrast to the constant noise and activity that it usually had and Peyton felt a strange tug in her chest at the thought of it never being that way again. She walked to Lucas' door and knocked softly.

"Lucas, are you in there?"

There was no answer and she opened the door and looked in but the room was empty. She glanced across the hall at her and Brooke's door and took a deep breath. She wasn't sure if Brooke knew about her early knowledge of Haley and Lucas relationship but she hadn't answered any of Peyton's phonecalls all day, a previous impossibility and Peyton was pretty sure that it wasn't just a coincidence. She walked to the room and knocked briefly before turning the knob.

"Brooke?" she said quietly as she stepped into the room, but it was empty too. Peyton frowned and surveyed the disarray in front of her. Brooke was not there but there was no denying that she had been that evening, and by the looks of the room, it hadn't been too long ago. A couple of her dresser drawers were hanging open along with the closet and bathroom doors and Brooke's clothes were everywhere. They usually were, but the disorder had a certain angry desperation to it that wordlessly provided an answer to Peyton's questions surrounding the state of their friendship. There was no doubt in her mind that Brooke knew. Everything.Which was why she hadn't called Peyton to commiserate and why she wasn't answering her phone. Brooke would have called her relentlessly by now if the situation were different...If she hadn't known that her friend had kept a huge, heartbreaking secret from her. Again.

Peyton sighed as she looked down at all of Brooke's suitcases which lay open on the floor. She noticed that one of the smaller ones were missing and after she glanced into the bathroom, she saw that Brooke's toothbrush was gone too.

"She must be spending the night somewhere else." Peyton murmured to the empty room as she picked up one of Brooke's shirts off the bed. Her heart felt heavy inside her chest. She hated that her friend was hurting and that she was a part of it, even if it was a small part. She wondered if Brooke would ever forgive her. The last time she'd found out that Peyton had lied to her, it had taken a very long time for them to get over it. Would they get over it this time? As she stared at Brooke's empty dresser, she didn't allow herself to think of the answer.

Instead, she reached across the bed for one of Brooke's shirts and began to fold it swiftly, burying her thoughts deep in her mind. Her intention was to fold the shirt and put it away, but in her restlessness to get to the dresser, she bumped into the bed and slid off it's corner, landing hard on her side. She grimaced and rubbed her hip, accidently kicking one of Brooke's bags in the process. Brooke must have been in one heck of a hurry to have knocked the bag unto the floor and left it there with it's contents splayed out under the bed.

Peyton shook her head as she picked up the bag. She recognized it as the one that Brooke had taken to TRIC the night before, the fabulous night that had ended so horribly for most of them.It felt like it had happened long ago. Peyton could barely remember the euphoric happiness that had surrounded her only hours ago. She shook her head unhappily as she reached for the compact and the tiny vial of mints that had fallen out of it and pushed them back into the little purse, pausing for a moment to steal one of the mints.

She shook one out and popped it into her mouth as she stood up. It took her about a nanoscond to spit the mint right back out---because it wasn't a mint. She stared down at the mint case in her hand for a brief moment before hurrying to the bathroom and flipping on the lights. She shook out a few of the contents of the vial onto the bathroom counter and stared wordlessly at the tiny white perfectly rounded pills that she had mistaken for candy that lay in front of her... And she felt her heart slowly sink inside her chest.

She felt sick to her stomach but even if she wanted too she couldn't take one of the pills in front of her. She couldn't because they weren't ibuprofen or aspirin and they wouldn't help her. They were unlike any aspirin she'd ever seen because they weren't pain medication. They weren't medication at all. She'd only seen these pills one time before, one time at Brooke's house in a gold-plated pill case that Brooke had laughingly shown her--one that belonged to her mother.

Peyton felt her way to the toilet and sat down hard. She'd been right. She hadn't wanted to be but she was--the proof sat gleaming on the bathroom counter. Brooke _had_ slipped Lucas drugs and manipulated him into bed all those weeks ago. Peyton's ugly suspicions had been right. And if she'd done that,if she'd drugged Lucas...Peyton stared at the wall in front of her as if the answers were written there. The only way that Brooke would steep so low as to drug a guy--a _friend_ no less, would be--

Would be if she wanted revenge. And the only reason that Brooke would want revenge was if she thought she'd been betrayed somehow. Which meant that she knew about Haley and Lucas _before_ the big reveal the night before. Which meant that she'd been plotting for awhile...A good while...Peyton felt her heartbeat increase as her thoughts slowly started to jumble together inside her mind,coming together like pieces of a puzzle.

Lucas' lost memories, all of Haley and Lucas misunderstandings, Nathan's sudden, unexplainable involvement in the whole thing--it all started to make sense in a strange way. Peyton knew Brooke _very_ well, almost too well and she had no doubt that Brooke was behind it all somehow. But how? Eventhough Lucas' strange memory glitches were explained, the rest wasn't. Like Lucas unbending belief that Haley wanted to be with Nathan... Peyton didn't believe that for a second. But then if it _wasn't_ true, then why were Haley and Nathan kissing at TRIC? Peyton's eyes narrowed slowly. She knew just who to ask. But first things first...

She jumped to her feet and hurried into the bedroom looking around quickly for her cell phone. She grabbed it from the bed and thought for a moment before punching a number into the keypad. She listened as a phone rang a few times on the other end before someone picked up.

"Hello... Bevin?" she asked.

There was a long pause and then,"Peyton!... How are you?"

Peyton heard the tone in Bevin's voice and her eyes narrowed.

"I'm fine. Hey, is Brooke there with you?"

Another pause. Then, "Umm, no...No she's not. But if I see her I can give her a message..."

Peyton sighed. "Bevin I know that she's there, you don't have to lie to me."

Bevin was silent.

"I know that she's angry at me and she doesn't want to talk and that's okay, I just need to know if she's there with you. I want to make sure that she's okay." Peyton waited impatiently as Bevin uncharacteristically remained very silent. "Bev?"

She heard Bevin sigh loudly. "Yes, okay she's here! I'm sorry I lied Peyton, but she told me not to tell you anything. She's really pissed at you about something but she won't tell me what happened. So...what happened?"

"I can't really say Bevin but I understand why you had to lie, don't worry. And Brooke really has every right to be mad at me." Peyton said quietly. She paused. "Is she anywhere nearby you right now?" she asked.

"No, she's in the shower. Why?"

Peyton bit her lip. She hated to lie to Bevin but desperate times..."I need you to do me a huge favor."

"Okay what?" Bevin asked cheerfully, ever the unsuspicious girl they all knew and adored. Peyton quelled the guilt she felt quickly. She had no time to think, now it was time for her to just _do_!

"Well, I really want to make it up to Brooke...for what I did. But in order to do that, I need you to keep her occupied all evening tomorrow--and possibly all night. Can you do that for me?"

"Sure, I can!" Bevin chirped. "And...I think I know just how to do it!"

"Thanks Bev."

"No prob, bob. And Peyt," she added. "Whatever happened, don't worry. You and Brooke will be friends again in no time. Look how close you two got after that whole Lucas fiasco! And nothing could top that mess!"

Peyton closed her eyes. _You want to bet?_ "Thanks Bevin." Peyton said sincerely. "I'll call you tomorrow,okay?"

They said goodbye and Peyton hung up the phone and slowly sat down on the bed. Her heart felt heavy in her chest as she stared down at the phone in her hand, her mind a jumbled mess as she tried to make sense of the screwed up situation she was unhappily privy too.

She didn't notice Lucas until he was sitting beside her. She jumped as he touched her shoulder.

"Hey." he said, his eyes wide with concern. "You okay?"

Peyton took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly before shaking her head. "No. No I'm not."

Lucas frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Peyton stared at him wordlessly. She wanted to tell him. She probably _should_ tell him but another dilemna had reared its ugly head. Finding the pills proved that Brooke _had_ drugged Lucas the week before. And that did explain Lucas irratic behavior towards Brooke. As Peyton's eyes narrowed thoughtfully, she realised that there may have been more than one instance where Brooke may have used them on Lucas. But it didn't explain Haley and Nate. There was no doubt in Peyton's mind that Lucas had been drugged, but Haley hadn't mentioned any memory loss that she knew off. Which meant that she had been in her right mind when she'd kissed Nathan. Which suggested that she'd known what she was doing. And as far as Peyton knew, girls in love didn't kiss other boys...unless they were drunk. Or _not_ in love.

Peyton took a deep breath. No, before she told Lucas anything, she had to be sure that she hadn't been wrong. She had to be sure that Haley's feelings for Lucas were as strong as they'd always been. Before she told anyone what she'd found, she had to be sure that the little pills were the only reason why her friends were kissing people they weren't supposed too.

She forced a light tone to her voice. "What's wrong! Are you kidding me? What isn't wrong? Right now, nothing is going right Lucas. In fact, everything is pretty shitty right now."

Lucas looked away from her, his eyes downcast and sad. "Truer words have never been spoken." he said.

Peyton felt a tug at her heart as she watched him try to maintain his cool in front of her. She wanted to tell him then, she wanted to tell him everything.To let him know that everything he'd felt had been real. That his heart wasn't lying to him and that everything would be okay.But she couldn't because she didn't know if that was true. She wouldn't know. Until she talked to Nate. But first, Lucas needed to talk to Haley.

It was time to put her plan into action.

She waited for a count of ten seconds before she suddenly jerked upright and slapped her forehead. "Damnit!"

Lucas stared at her, startled. "What? What's wrong?"

Peyton looked at him. "Are you going to be here tomorrow? At about three?"

Lucas frowned. "Probably not. I have to pick up that shipment of drink mixes for my mom at two-thirty, remember?"

Peyton nodded thoughtfully. "That's right..." she said unhappily.

"Why?" Lucas asked.

Peyton sighed. " I needed you to help me do this thing---but hey, you know it's okay, it'll get done. I just need to--"

"Peyton, I can be back here by three." Lucas said matter-of factly. "It's no problem,I'll just go by TRIC earlier."

Peyton looked at him."Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not." Lucas said bumping her shoulder with his own. "What do you need help with?"

"Well..." Peyton said slowly. "It's kind of too complicated to explain.I'll just show you when you get here."

Lucas frowned puzzled. Then he schrugged. "Okay." he said standing up. "I'll be here." He backed towards the door. "Hey, have you eaten yet?"

Peyton shook her head."No actually." _Didn't have time to you see, I just found out my BFF drugged you..._

"You want to go grab some pizza or something? I'm absolutely starving!"

_Drugs do that... _"Sure." Peyton nodded. "Can I get a quick shower though? I reek."

Lucas grinned. "Definitely. Actually, please do. I didn't want to say anything but..."

He ducked as a large throw-pillow sailed at his head and laughed. "I'll meet you out front in thirty."

"Make that twenty minutes. I'm low-maintenance remember?"

Lucas sighed gently and put a hand to his chest. "A fact that I've always treasured about you."

He grinned and walked out of the room and Peyton's smile faded. She waited until she was sure that he was gone before quickly picking up her phone and pressing a speed-dial button. The phone rang briefly on the other end before Haley answered breathlessly.

"Hello?" she giggled.

Peyton frowned surprised. "Hey you." she said lightly. "You sound...much better. Is that actual merriment I hear in your voice?"

Haley giggled again. "It's hard not to laugh when Nathan does his Martha Stewart impression. Especially when he swears that he's a better cook than she is."

"I am!" Peyton heard Nathan call-out in the background. Her frown deepened.

"Hey, I'm calling about what we talked about today."

"Oh." Peyton heard Haley tone sober almost immediately. "Okay. Is everything..set? Will the house be empty when I come over tomorrow?"

Peyton crossed her fingers. "Completely." she lied.

Haley took a deep, relieved breath."Thanks Peyt.I really appreciate it."

Peyton bit her lip. "Hey, what are friends for?"

"What time should I be over there?" Haley asked.

Peyton stared at the ceiling. _Yup, I'm going to hell..._she thought. "Umm, you should probably be here at about ten after three."

"Will do." Haley said exhaling loudly. "Thanks again Peyton."

Peyton nodded. "Oh, you don't have to thank me Hales." she said slowly. "Believe me, you _really_ don't..."


	40. Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Peyton glanced at her watch anxiously. It was five after three and Lucas was nowhere to be seen. She _had _told him three, hadn't she? What if he'd forgotten? Or what if he was _late_! That would definitely _not_ work. If he and Haley got even a slight glance of each other before she could set her plan in motion--!

She exhaled loudly. No, he had to get there at three, he just did. Any later and Peyton's plan would completely fall apart.

She peeked out from behind the hall closet where she stood waiting, giving the phrase 'in the closet' a whole new meaning, before she glanced at her watch again and sighed.

"Come on Luke..." she murmured. "Where are you...?"

Just as she was about to peer out from behind the door again, she heard the door in Lucas room open and slam shut. She lept away from the closet door, just as Lucas walked into the hall.

"Peyt?" he called.

She saw him look around curiously before heading towards the kitchen and she smiled and glanced at her watch. _Okay_, she thought breathing a silent sigh of relief, _one down..._She waited silently as he went from room to room calling her name.

_Not quite yet... _she thought glancing at her watch._Wait for it, wait for it..._ She glanced at her watch for another minute before carefully sliding out of the closet.

"Lucas?" she called out.

Lucas head poked out of her bedroom door. "Hey you! Sorry I'm a little late. There were more boxes delivered than I thought and---"

"That's okay." Peyton said quickly, glancing nervously towards the front door. "You weren't that late." She paused. "Hey, can I borrow your cell phone?" She asked as she glanced at the door again.

Lucas followed her gaze as he handed his phone to her. "Expecting someone?"

Peyton looked at him quickly. "Uh...no, not really." She looked up as the sudden sound of an approaching car pricked her hearing.

"Did you park in the back like I asked?" she asked quickly.

Lucas nodded slowly, bewildered by her strange behavior. "Yeah, but I still don't understand why you needed me too--"

He was interrupted as Peyton suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him towards Haley's room. "I just thought that we'd get things done quicker if potential visitors thought no one was home."

Lucas frowned puzzled as she pulled him into the room. "But your car is parked out front---"

"Oh is it? "Peyton said slapping her forehead. "I thought I parked that thing out back..." She sighed and pushed Lucas further into the room. "I'm going to go move it. You wait here okay?"

Lucas looked around him suddenly aware of where he was, or more specifically where he'd purposely avoided being for the past several hours. "Uh, Peyton what are--"

"I'll be right back." Peyton said quickly backing out of the room. Lucas stared after her, his mouth still hanging open in mid-sentence.He looked around himself in puzzled amusement.

"... are we doing in Haley's room?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Peyton hurried to the front of the house just as Haley walked in.

"Hey!" she said breathlessly.

Haley smiled anxiously. "Hey yourself."

She felt very...strange walking into Lucas house after spending the last couple of nights away. It was an odd mixture of emotions.On one hand, it felt very familiar and very...safe. Afterall, Lucas's house had been like a second home to her throughout the years. She knew it like the back of her hand. She knew why one of the kitchen chairs had skid marks on it or why the fridge-door needed to be lifted slightly and angled in order to close properly. This wasn't just a building, it was _home_.

But that fact was also what was causing her undoing.

Memories were hitting her from every angle threatening the manufactured calm that she'd forced upon herself on her way over. It was almost overwhelming but she managed to plaster a smile on her face for Peyton's benefit as she closed the door behind her. She clutched the three moving boxes that Nathan had given her that morning to her chest as if they were shields that would keep away all the fresh new waves of pain that were threatening to pierce her cool resolve and crash into her. It felt vaguely impossible but she had every intention of getting through that afternoon without shedding one more tear. Hey...it couldn't hurt to try. She took a deep breath and lifted her chin, missing the furtive look in Peyton's eyes as she watched her.

"You ready?" Peyton asked.

Haley laughed weakly. "No." she said truthfully. "But I'm going to do this anyways."

Peyton bit her lip nodding wordlessly as Haley moved passed her and walked down the hall.

"Hey, can I borrow your phone Hales?" she asked suddenly.

"Sure." Haley pulled her phone from her bag and gave it to her. As she reached her door and pushed it open she looked back at her friend.

"I know I've said this before but I want you to know that I really appreciate you doing this Peyton. I don't think I could have done this if Lucas were..."

Her voice faded away as she turned and met a familiar pair of blue eyes. A pair of eyes that widened at the sight of her before darkening with some unspoken emotion that she couldn't quite fathom or understand.

"...were here."

Haley's voice faded out completely as her mouth closed tightly. She stared wordlessly at Lucas trying to make sense of the look in his eyes and the feeling in her chest and Lucas was frozen equally as still. So neither of them reacted when Peyton edged out---until they heard the bedroom door slam shut.

Haley whirled around. "What the--? Peyton?" She tried the doorknob and it turned but the door didn't open.

Lucas hurried to the door and tried to open it. "Peyton!" he yelled banging his open palm on the door. "Peyton what are doing?"

"I'm doing what neither of you seem to have the balls to do!" they heard Peyton say loudly."You need to talk and you _both_ need to listen to each other. Without any distractions. So...don't worry. You won't have any. And don't try to break down this door either Luke! I'm using your great-grandmother Roe's antique chair to block it and I know you wouldn't want anything to happen to it."

Haley felt her heart drop inside her chest. No, Peyton wouldn't...she thought.

"Peyton this isn't funny.." Lucas called out angrily. "If we needed Dr. Phil we would have written in to the show so open the damn door _right_ now!"

Haley stared at the door. "Really Peyton, this won't help anything. Please open the door."

There was no answer and Haley put her ear next to the door.

"Peyton?" she called out hesitantly.

Her only answer was the sound of Peyton's car starting in the driveway and quickly pulling out. Haley looked at Lucas her eyes wide with shock and he quickly reached into his pocket. His eyes widened slightly.

"My phone...Peyton." he said with slowly dawning understanding before turning to look at her questioningly, but she shook her head. Peyton had made sure that she wouldn't be making any calls either. She turned and slowly surveyed the room, noticing for the first time a huge picnic basket on a side table with a note hanging from it. Against her better judgement, she ripped it off and read it.

_For when you get hungry_, it read. Haley lifted the top and stared wide-eyed at the baskets contents. There were several sandwiches and fruits and packages of cookies along with a six-pack of soda and another one of water. By the looks of it, Peyton had packed at least a days worth of food and Haley closed her eyes against the full realization of what her friend had done. Peyton had left the food for a reason. She didn't intend to let them out--at least for a while. She'd locked them in and then...she'd left.

They'd been tricked and now they were trapped. Haley and Lucas were trapped inside her room and there was nothing either of them could do about it.

* * *

Brooke stared listlessly out of the bedroom window in Bevin's room. She had been up for hours and had taken a shower after working out in Bevin's dad state-of-the-art exercise room. But after she'd gotten dressed and packed up her things, she'd sat down on the loveseat by Bevin's bed and...she hadn't moved. She'd just sat staring out the window. She couldn't seem to muster up any motivation to do anything else except think. About a lot. About..._everything_. 

She'd been sitting there for hours wondering how she'd gotten herself caught up in such a screwed-up mess, a mess that she had created.She couldn't lie to herself about that aspect anymore. Haley and Lucas may have lied, but _she_ created the train-wreck. It was all her and no one else.She finally accepted that.Now if only she could figure out how to handle it...

She watched as a group of little girls ran laughing down the street and smiled sadly, suddenly remembering a sleepover she, Peyton, Haley, and Peyton's friend Anna had the year before. It had gotten off to a rocky start since Peyton and Anna had caught her with Anna's brother in Haley's bed, all of which had turned out to be a _very_ big mistake on her part, but later that night it all changed--for the better. They'd shared their secret thoughts and fears...their hopes. She'd never felt closer to anyone, FriendsWithBenefits included, than she had that night. She remembered wishing that it would never end but eventually it had...and now it was over. All of it.

And _why_? Why exactly had she played with their lives and torn them apart? Somehow, her previous reasons were a little hazier than she remembered. Was it because she loved them and they hurt her, or was it because she couldn't accept Lucas and Haley being together? _Or..._ was it because she couldn't forgive them for having something that she'd always wanted but couldn't buy? Had she really punished her friends because they'd betrayed her or because they had something that she wanted so badly that she could taste it? Or was it because of _all_ those reasons?

She didn't know. She didn't know anything anymore. Except that she missed them. She missed them all...

She picked up her phone impulsively and stared at it for a moment before quickly pressing the speed-dial. The phone went directly to voicemail and she listened as Peyton's voice told her to leave a message after jamming out to Fall Out Boy. She waited for the beep and opened her mouth to say something but she balked and nothing came out. In one of the rarest moments in her entire life, Brooke Davis didn't know what to say.She quickly closed the phone and threw it on the bed---just as she heard Bevin give a loud anguished cry.

She jumped up and ran to the adjoining bathroom where Bevin stood looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"Bevin, what happened? What's wrong?" She asked anxiously looking at the shocked girl.

Bevin's eyes were wide in her face as she turned and stared at her friend.

"You won't believe it." she said shaking her head slowly. "You really won't believe what I'm about to tell you..."

Brooke frowned. "What is it Bevin, spit it out!"

Bevin took a deep breath. "Okay." She said slowly. "Are you ready? 'Cause this is unbelievable!"

Brooke braced herself. "Okay! What is it?" she asked.

Bevin gripped her hands. "Well, I..."

* * *

Lucas kicked the door one last time in frustration before banging it with his fist and Haley jumped startled. She'd seen Lucas irritated many times before but this time...as he paced in front of the door, he reminded Haley of a caged lion wanting desperately to be set free. She leaned against the door and watched surreptitiously as he turned and ran his hands through his hair in agitation. There was an odd look of desperation in his eyes as they wandered aimlessly around the room, suddenly settling on the window. He hurried to it and tried to open it but it wouldn't budge. He frowned and tried again but it was as if the familiar window that used to open with such ease was nailed shut. 

Narrowing his eyes, he looked through the glass and peered at the other side, his eyes drifting slowly around the edge...until he saw them. Five newly drilled holes in the previously unmarked wood.

"Peyton." he muttered."That little..."

"Don't." Haley said edgily. "Peyton is only trying to do what she thinks is right...no matter how completely wrong and utterly absurd and pointless it is,her heart's in the right place.She thinks she knows what's best for us."

Lucas glared at her. "Well, she doesn't."

Haley paused, allowing her eyes to meet his steadily for the first time since they'd been locked inside what used to be their haven, their sanctuary.She blinked, yanking her thoughts back to the present. It was too dangerous to think about what _was_, she had to stay in the _now_. She had finally stopped crying and she couldn't go back to the immobile mess she'd been since friday. She didn't want too. Her face was expressionless as they stared at one another.

"No, Peyton doesn't know what's best." she agreed. " And the sooner she realizes that, the better it will be for all of us."

Lucas laughed briefly at her words. "For all of us, or for you and Nathan?"

Haley ignored him. Instead she looked around the room slowly, pointedly avoiding the bed before she purposefully walked to her former dresser. She folded one of the cardboard boxes into its shape and set it beside her before opening the top drawer and throwing its contents into the box.Tidyness be damned, she just wanted to get it over with.

Lucas leaned against the wall and folded his arms as he studied her warily."What are you doing?" he finally asked as she started on the second drawer.

"What does it look like?" Haley said as she threw two t-shirts in the box. "I'm packing. That's typically what people do when they move out, isn't it?" she snarked as she looked up at him. The stunned look in his eyes caught her off guard and the rest of her words faded away.

"Peyton...didn't tell you..." she said with slowly dawning realization.

Lucas smiled crookedly. "No. She didn't." he said quietly watching her crestfallen expression. "Was she supposed to?" he asked quietly. "Am I so horrible that you couldn't bear to tell me that you were moving out by yourself?" He stared at her, his face as expressionless as a tight mask." Wow, Hales. I know that I don't mean much to you but even tenants give their landlords more courtesy than that--"

"Are you really so surprised, Lucas?" Haley suddenly said before she could stop herself. "Is it so hard to believe that I might not want to see you after what you did? That I might not want to talk to you?"

Lucas stared at her. He didn't owe her an explanation, he really didn't...but the hurt look in her eyes was as sincere as it was confusing. He didn't want it to be there.

"What happened friday night should never have happned Haley."

Haley turned away from him. "I don't want to talk about it Lucas."

"I don't either."Lucas said quietly. "But we were friends way before we were--"

He didn't finish his sentence and Haley closed her eyes against the sudden ache in her throat. _No, _she thought desperately..._no please don't cry Haley! Don't you dare..._

Lucas swallowed painfully. "I need you to know that I didn't mean for you to...I didn't want you to see--what you saw. That was a mistake, that was--my mistake."

Haley pulled out another drawer and emptied its contents into the box. She didn't want to hear this. She absolutely refused to be reminded of that awful night.

But Lucas continued. "I was really angry at you that night." He paused and looked at her back but she didn't turn around and he took a deep breath."That's not an excuse but--there it is. I saw you with Nathan at TRIC and I...I wanted to hurt you."

He heard her murmur something and he paused. "What did you say?" he asked.

Haley pushed the drawer back in with a loud slam and stood completely still for a moment before whirling around to face him.

"I said you did a good job Lucas." she repeated. "Of hurting me."

They stared at each other, Lucas confused, Haley upset. He understood her anger. It was the pain etched in her face that bewildered him. Just hours before she'd found him and Brooke together, she'd been kissing Nathan and professing her love to him. Why did seeing him and Brooke hurt her when her feelings for Nathan had obviously been there the whole time? He stared at her wordlessly for a moment, taking in her pale face and trembling mouth.

"No matter what Haley," he said quietly trying to keep his calm despite the tightening in his chest. "No matter what we've both put each other through, I never meant to hurt you--"

Haley chuckled bitterly shaking her head. "You know...I think that you may be the only person I know who can sound as sincere as Tiny Tim and still have Hugh Heffner tendencies." Her smile faded. "Give it up Lucas! I finally understand, once a liar, always a liar. I'm not falling for anymore of your stories. You used me to fill Brooke's spot and dropped me the moment she came crawling back, just admit it! I'm a big girl now, you forced me to grow up the moment I saw Brooke straddling you in bed. Oh the _second_ time by the way, in case you've lost count."

Lucas stared at her, stung by her words. He couldn't believe what she was saying to him but mostly he could barely recognize the look in her eyes.The beautiful brown eyes that had up till recently glowed at him with love and trust, were now surveying him with a coldness that was so unlike Haley he could barely stand it. Where was his best-friend? Where was the girl that he loved with all his heart? Was her misguided affections for Nathan already turning her into someone he didn't recognize? _Again_?

At the thought of Nathan, something twisted inside his chest. He couldn't understand why she was treating him with so much resentment when she'd done the same thing herself--or possibly even worse! Her and Nathan didn't have to be half-dressed to have caused him more damage than her words had. _I love you Nathan..._ that's what she'd whispered in that room at TRIC, he'd heard her say them. The words were scalded in his memory like acid. _I love you Nathan,_ had played over and over inside his head throughout the entire previous day! No, Haley had no right to get self-righteous with him after what she'd done and there was no way that he was going to let her!

His eyes were blue steel as he glared back at her. "That's right. I'm suddenly remembering friday night in detail now. You yelling at me and calling me a liar... yeah I remember. It was very reminiscent of the time I heard the pot call the kettle black."

Haley frowned. "English please?"

Lucas shook his head. "I mean it's highly laughable that you can stand here and call me a liar with a straight face." He chuckled humorlessly walking to stand in front of her till they were eye to eye. "You Haley James, are the biggest hypocrite that I know."

Haley's face warmed as she narrowed her eyes but not with embarrassment. She was furious! She couldn't believe that Lucas had the audacity to call her a hypocrite after all that he'd done. She was especially angry at how stupid he obviously thought she was, pretending not to remember what happened both times. And she'd believed him! Up until friday night, she'd believed everything that had come out of his mouth.Well those days were over! If she had to revert back to her TutorGirl alias to ward off anymore of the stupidity that she felt when it came to Lucas Scott then she would--bad clothes and all!

The curious thing was...that as she glared at him, at his arrogant smile and silvery blue eyes so evidently happy at having riled her, she saw something else there. There was a deep sadness hidden in the depths of his pupils, mixing with a longing that almost gripped her with his intensity. Lucas was...hurting. He was very unhappy--she could see it all there shining out at her. But--why? Was it because Brooke was mad at him? Had she broken it off when she found out about Haley? Maybe that was it, maybe Lucas was upset because Brooke didn't want him anymore. Maybe...But if that was all it was, why were his eyes trained so steadily on her? It was confusing and she didn't want to think about it. Lucas feelings weren't her business anymore anyways. They probably never had been.

"The only hypocrite I see is the one standing right in front of me, Lucas." Haley said quietly. "_You_ pursued me. Even when I pushed you away time and time again, you said that what we had was special--that what we had meant something--"

Lucas eyes narrowed dangerously. "What are you saying?" he asked with quiet heat."Are you saying that I _forced_ you into this? That I _made_ you be with me eventhough it wasn't what you really wanted?"

Haley stared at him angrily. All of the anger and hurt, the betrayal that she was feeling--that she'd _been_ feeling-- rose inside of her, growing and expanding until it pushed against her chest threatening to make the tears come again. She couldn't bear to cry anymore. She'd already done so much of it, spilling water like her name was Seattle where it always rained. She was done crying, she was through with the whole thing!

And suddenly her anger spilled out instead.

"I'm saying that you ruined everything the day that you told me you loved me!" she cried." I should never have said it back! You don't love me, you can't and have done the things you've done! And I hate you for it Lucas! I hate you and I wish we had never happened!"

Lucas face paled and Haley stopped, breathing quickly, her heart in her throat. She hadn't meant any of what she'd said--it had all been in anger and she regretted immediately. But much more so when she looked into Lucas eyes. It was as if she'd broken something there,her anger shattering it like glass. He stared at her stunned and silent and she gazed back anxiously.

"Lucas..." she heard herself whisper. She reached for him but he backed away before she could touch him and she folded her arms across her chest, holding herself...like she suddenly very much wanted to hold him.

"Hmm.." he said softly. He paused and looked at her wordlessly backing towards the window. "You _sure_ told me."

Haley saw his jaw twitch before he turned to look out the window his back rigid and straight, but not before she saw the effect her words had on him. Not before she saw his mask fall away...and the anguish in his eyes.

Not before she felt her heart break for him...

again...


	41. Scarecrow Has a Brain,Tinman Has a Heart

Scarecrow Has a Brain, Tin-Man Has a Heart, and Dorothy's Almost Home

Peyton exhaled deeply as she manuvered her car down the road, but she didn't allow herself to wonder if she'd done the right thing or whether or not her friends would ever forgive her. Instead she picked up her cell phone and quickly dialed Bevin's number.Bevin answered after the first ring.

"Hey it's Peyton." she said anxiously. "I was calling to see how everything is going on your end."She paused hesitantly. "Is Brooke still there?"

She heard Bevin laugh quietly. "Yup, everything's going according to plan." she said breathlessly." Brooke's not going anywhere--at least not until tomorrow."

Peyton frowned curiously. "I'm afraid to ask..."

Bevin giggled again. "Well...remember the Cheer Camp Incident of '04?"

Peyton thought for a moment before her frown melted into a huge grin. "Yeah I do remember...we were at Cheer Camp--"

"And in a fit of collective nerves and insanity, half the squad forgot our signature cheer--" Bevin continued.

"And Brooke stayed up passed curfew to re-teach it." Peyton finished nodding appreciatively. "Why Bevin, who knew you had it in you?"

Bevin laughed loudly. "_I_ sure didn't." she said frankly.

Peyton heard Brooke call her in the distance and Bevin's voice lowered.

"Ooh gotta go! Brooke has taken Cheer-Nazi to a whole new level today."

Peyton sighed. "Gosh Bevin, I owe you one."

"No prob P, it's the least I can do. Don't think I've forgotten whose tie-breaking vote got me on the squad in the first place."

Peyton smiled. "Still..." She heard Brooke yell Bevin's name again and cringed. She really was going to have to think up some really ornate way to pay Bevin back.

"See ya Peyton." Bevin said but Peyton stopped her.

"Hey, I'm having a Curious George moment, " she said. "What cheer did you tell Brooke that you forgot?"

Bevin laughed again. "Umm, try all of them!"

Peyton's mouth fell open."Wow.''

"Well you said you needed her to be occupied all evening and besides Brooke loves teaching cheers! I figured that this would take her mind off of whatever made her do an extra thirty minutes of Pilates this morning."

Peyton grimaced. "Ouch!"

"Who are you telling? _I_ had to do it with her!"

Peyton laughed. "Bevin, I bow at your genius!"

"Don't you just?" Bevin laughed. "Okay,see ya!"

Peyton listened to the dial tone for a second before she hung up, shaking her head with a smile. Bevin had her share of air-head moments but sometimes...

She chuckled and picked up her phone again. But as she thought of the call she had to make next, her smile faded. She couldn't remember a time when she'd dreaded making a call as much as she did at that moment. She sighed heavily.Still, it had to be done. _Come on Peyton_, she thought_, it's now or never. And if what's going on in that room is what you _hope _is going on in that room, NOW is the time!_

She pressed a number into the keypad and put the phone to her ear. She waited as it rang three times and was about to hang up when she heard a voice.

"What do you want?" Nathan asked impatiently.

"I want to talk to you about something--face to face Nate." Peyton said."Can you meet me somewhere?"

"No." Nathan said quietly. "Bye Peyton--"

"Wait Nathan, don't hang up!" she said quickly. "Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Lucas and Haley when I found out okay? I just didn't think it was my secret to tell!"

Nathan was silent and she saw her chance. "I really need to talk to you Nathan. It's about Haley. Can you please meet me? _Please_?"

Nathan was silent on the other end of the line. Then he exhaled loudly."Fine, where?" he asked.

Peyton breathed a silent sigh of relief. "The old courts in fifteen minutes?" she said quickly.

"I'll be there." Nathan said.

He hung up and Peyton took a deep breath as she dropped her phone on the passenger seat.

Part of her was relieved that Nathan was meeting her but another part, the part of her that loved her friends and didn't want to see any of them hurt was not as eager to go. No matter what Nathan decided to tell her or not, she had a feeling that all of her best-friends were going to be hurt in some way at the end of this and she wasn't in a rush to see that happen. But she pressed down on the accelerator anyways and sat back as her car speeded up.

Whatever the consequences were, she wanted to get to the bottom of the whole mess. She wanted the truth. And something told her that Nathan might be able to help her get it. There was no guarantee that he _would_ help her at all, considering how upset he was with her. But as she thought of the looks on both Lucas and Haley's faces when she'd talked to them the day before, her resolve hardened. No matter what the outcome, Haley and Lucas belonged together, she was sure of that. In fact, she was sure that her plan was already working even as she neared the courts. Despite what had happened with her and Jake, she really did believe in happy endings,she did. Lucas and Haley had probably even already reconciled and were happily digging into the food that she'd left them right at that moment,staring into each others eyes, completely wrapped up in one another like they had been before all the chaos ensued. They'd probably already made up and her meeting with Nathan was completely unnecessary now.

She smiled at the thought, suddenly filled with an overwhelming burst of certainty and hope. Somehow, everything _would_ work out, she was sure of it. It would all work out in the end...

... yeah and maybe Nick and Jessica would make-up too...

* * *

Haley stared across the room as Lucas tried relentlessly to open the window again. He'd been at it for the past ten minutes, trying again and again eventhough it refused to budge.Trying to do anything but look at her. 

And she couldn't blame him. What she'd said to him had been terrible. No matter what he'd done to her, no matter how much he'd hurt her...she still loved him. With everything inside of her. And she hated that he was hurting...especially since it was because of her.

She stood staring at him, her pride holding back the words that she knew she needed to say. She opened her mouth but they wouldn't come out. Whenever she tried, the memory of him and Brooke kissing passionately rose in her thoughts and she couldn't say anything. She could only stare. Suddenly Lucas let out a loud cry and hit the window with his fist. The glass didn't break but Lucas let out a grunt of pain and fell back on the floor cupping his hand to his chest. Haley was by his side in an instant.

"What's wrong, is it bleeding? Did you break it?" she asked anxiously reaching for his injured hand.

Lucas cursed as she took his hand, touching his fingers gingerly and shook his head. "No, I don't think so...I think I just bruised it. Along with my ego. I guess it serves me right for thinking the glass would break under my super-human strength right?"

He smiled sheepishly and Haley chuckled as she gently pulled each finger out slowly. She didn't see his expression change or the look in his eyes as he surveyed her.

"Well you're right, it isn't broken or sprained. I guess having a mother for a nurse has its perks afterall huh?" She chuckled again and looked at him. "But just in case, don't..."

Her voice melted away as she looked into his eyes and froze suddenly realizing their close proximity.

"Just in case...what?" he said quietly gazing at her in a way...she swallowed with difficulty...in a way that was making her forget her name.

"Just in case...don't use it too much. Be careful with it." she said softly. His face seemed to be drawing closer to hers as if they were connected by some invisible string but she couldn't move away. She suddenly couldn't move at all.

"I'm sorry." she suddenly heard herself whisper. "For what I said before." She gazed at him. "I don't hate you Lucas."

Lucas' eyes travelled across her face. "You don't?" he asked softly.

"No..." she whispered. "I couldn't hate you if I tr--"

His lips were on hers before she finished her sentence, moving gently against hers, familiar in their firm softness. All other thoughts left her mind as his hands slid to her face, all of his pain forgotten as their tongues slowly touched and moved together.

"Haley..." he whispered and it was the way that he said her name that broke through her shields, melting her defenses. There was a sweet pain in the way that he said her name and she felt a delicious warmth flood through her body, filling in all the places that had been left cold. She felt warm for the first time since that fateful night when she'd found Lucas and Brooke together and...

_Lucas and Brooke together_...the words reverberated through her mind, yelling at her, reminding her of who and where she was...and who was kissing her...

"No.." she murmured against Lucas mouth. His hands drifted through her hair, sliding down her neck and it was all she could do to pull away...but she did.

"No!" she cried pulling away, crawling backwards on the floor. Away from him. She felt the cool air rush in between them, distancing them from one another and she hastily tried to pull her guard back up around her, to still her rapidly-beating heart and harden herself again. But it was impossible. Being so near Lucas, feeling his heart beat against hers and his hands on her face...it had ripped down all her shields leaving her completely bare and vulnerable. Completely naked in front of him. She couldn't hide behind her mask anymore because it was completely gone leaving her alone and bereft.

Lucas was watching her silently and she glanced at him trying to calm her stilted breath.

"I'm sorry. I let myself lose control and..." She took a deep breath. "That should never have happened."

Lucas eyes bore into her, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He knew what he felt for Haley. He knew that it was killing him to watch her sitting only a few feet away and not be able to grab her and kiss her and touch her with all the passion that only she could ignite inside of him. What he didn't understand was why he could see the same desire in her eyes. Haley wasn't in _love_ with him. She wanted Nathan, he'd heard her say it.

But then why had kissing her felt so right? And why did she look like she might think so too? Lucas suddenly thought of another time when her reaction had caused him to wonder.The night when she'd caught him and Brooke in bed together, the look in her eyes had been completely at odds with what he'd thought they'd be then too and he'd wondered...His eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

"Why?" he suddenly asked. "Why should that not have happened?"

Haley stared at him. Why? she thought. How could he ask her that question? He knew damn well why not and the _reason_ had a room right down the hall. What, was he growing tired of Brooke already too? That would explain why his mouth had felt so perfect against hers and why his eyes had been so dark with...

With _what_ Haley? She suddenly thought. What had Lucas been thinking while he was kissing her that made her feel like her whole body was slowly being lit on fire? She didn't know. But what was so troubling was that...she cared.

They stared at each other, both filled with so many questions that neither one of them were willing to ask. Lucas suddenly wanted to ask her every question he'd wonderd since he'd seen her kissing Nathan. He wanted to know if she'd ever really loved him. He wanted to yell at her, to tell her how he felt knowing that she'd only been using him all those weeks. He wanted to ask her what it was that Nathan had that he didn't, to tell her that he would be whatever she needed if she'd only tell him what it was! But most of all he wanted to take her in his arms and tell her that he loved her and that he never wanted to let her go...

Haley stared at him silently. She felt a sudden overwhelming desire to ask him everything that her heart had ached about since they'd broken up, but she quelled it quickly. She didn't think her heart could take another hit but still...there was so much that she wanted to ask him. Like why he'd told her that he loved her when he obviously still had strong feelings for Brooke. Or why he'd made love to her all those times when his heart was somewhere else. She wanted to know how he could have done that to _both_ of them without feeling anything. But most of all she wanted to know why he didn't love her. She wanted to yell it at him, to grip his face and scream and cry and hit him... She wanted him to see how much he'd hurt her. But instead she looked at him calmly and tilted her head and asked him the only thing she could.

"How's your hand?"

* * *

Peyton parked her car and walked towards the courts slowly surveying her surroundings. Nathan was nowhere to be seen and she glanced at her watch before sitting down on an old wooden bench. She was sure that he was taking his sweet time getting there on purpose. Years of being his girlfriend had taught her the inner workings of his mind and when Nathan Scott didn't want to do something, he let you know it as clearly as he could. Whether it was through arrogance, ignorance or outright rudeness, he decided how long he'd take before giving you any of his time or energy. It was part of his father's legacy, a part that she hated with a passion. Peyton knew that Nathan was going to keep her waiting for however long he felt like to make a point. No one _made_ Nathan Scott do anything he didn't want to do. 

Peyton sighed again and leaned back on the bench waiting patiently as the minutes ticked by. A full twenty minutes passed before she heard the tell-tale sign of Nathan's car pull up behind her. She didn't turn around as he approached her but when he stood in front of her his hands deep in his sweatshirt pockets, she arched an eyebrow at him.

"You know... if you wanted to meet tomorrow I wouldn't have minded waiting a little bit longer." She quipped.

He wasn't amused. "What do you want Peyton?" he said impatiently.

Peyton's smile faded. "I think you know what I want Nathan." she said slowly. "I want the truth."

Nathan stared agitatedly around them. "The truth about what Peyton?" he asked sharply. "You seem to know more about the truth than anyone.Why don't _you _tell _me_."

Peyton sighed. "Nathan, like I said on the phone, I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on between Lucas and Haley but I really didn't feel that it was my place---"

"Oh and you feel like it's your place now? Calling me and asking me to meet you in some random place to talk about Haley?"

Peyton frowned. She didn't understand why Nathan was being so defensive but he obviously didn't want to be there and he was doing everything in his power to start an argument with her. It was almost as if...

As if he wanted to re-direct her attention...from him and Haley.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Nathan, I called you to talk about friday night at TRIC."

Nathan's eyes stared at the air beside her head before looking at the tree behind her.Anything, she realized, to avoid looking at her.

"Peyton I really don't have time to play twenty questions with you. If you have something to ask just ask it."

"Okay." she nodded. She looked him in the eye. "I know that you and Haley kissed." she said boldly. "What I was wondering is..." she stared at him intently. "Who initiated it?"

Nathan frowned. "You're asking me...who started the kiss at TRIC that night?"

Peyton nodded.

"That is none of your damn business." he said heatedly. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Peyton watched his reaction closely, her eyes locked on his face. She could see that he was attempting to hide something from her, something that he didn't want her to know--some inner knowledge deep inside...The truth. Nathan was trying to hide the truth from her!

Her eyes widened ever so slowly. "It was you, wasn't it?" she said knowingly. "_You_ kissed Haley! You initiated everything that went down in that room at TRIC!"

Nathan stared at her intently as if he was trying to read her mind. Then he smiled stiffly.

"Sorry Sherlock, that's where you're wrong." he said arrogantly. "Everything that went down between Haley and me was completely consentual Peyton. Believe me when I say that we _both_ wanted it."

Peyton stared at him closely her eyes travelling across his features before a slow, sure smile spread across her face.

"Liar liar, pants on fire..." she whispered.

* * *

"What did you say?" 

"I said you never answered my question Haley." Lucas repeated."Why shouldn't we have kissed?"

Haley ignored his question. "I'm hungry, are you hungry?"

She stood up and walked over to the basket. Lucas watched her as she calmly took out two sandwiches, his frustration growing by the second.

"I don't know if I'm in the mood for ham and cheese or chicken salad..." Haley murmured loudly staring at the sandwiches in both hands, actively trying to avoid Lucas' question and his eyes which she could feel staring a hole into her back. She refused to get into this conversation with him. He could pretend not to know why they shouldn't have let their hightened emotions take over but she wasn't going to discuss it. She was going to eat some ham.

She grabbed a sandwich and turned to sit on the bed but Lucas stood and yanked it from her grasp.

"You can pretend that I'm not here but you can't pretend to be deaf." He said quietly.

"Lucas give me back my sandwich." Haley said calmly.

"Not before you answer my question." he countered."Why shouldn't we have kissed?"

"Lucas--"

"It's just a question." Lucas said softly, his eyes staring intently into hers. "Why can't you answer it?"

"Lucas I--"

"Why Haley? Why shouldn't we hav--"

"Because it's a waste of time!" she suddenly yelled. "I don't feel anything when you touch me and you don't feel anything either so why kiss? It's a waste of time and energy and emotions and I have better things to do okay?"

Lucas eyes flashed silver and blue steel. She was lying. He could see it on her face as clear as a big red flashing sign. She _had _felt something. He knew she had. He wasn't sure exactly what _it_ was but it had been there. She wasn't as aloof to him as she was trying to make it seem. There was something there. He'd seen it in her eyes...

He tried to ignore the feeling of desperation that he felt as he put her food back in the basket and turned to face her.

"So you felt absolutely nothing when I kissed you just now?"

Haley kept her expression impassive. "Yup, nada."

Lucas stared into her eyes. "Absolutely nothing?" he smiled tightly. "Not even a little bit of something?"

Haley folded her arms. "Not even a little bit."

Lucas nodded slowly, thoughtful as he looked at her. He looked very calm and focused which is why Haley let her guard down a litlle.

So she didn't expect it when he suddenly kissed her.

The feeling of contact, the touch of his mouth on hers was so abrupt,so sudden that for a second she didn't pull away.

And then...she didn't want to...

Her hands slowly lifted and touched his arms as his lips moved sensually against hers, remembering every curve and slope, relishing the softness. She felt the slow heat rising inside of her again, longing to feel his skin against hers and her hands gripped the edge of his shirt as his lips left hers to discover her neck and her jaw and her chin.

"Do you feel me now Haley?" he suddenly whispered as his hands slid into her shirt caressing the skin there, feverishly pulling her closer. Haley could barely stand on her own and he held her against him supporting her weight as she clung to him.

"Yes..." she whispered against his mouth as his lips found hers again."I feel you Lucas. I do..."

He lifted her hands raising her arms above her head and she opened her eyes as he slowly lifted her shirt from her heated skin. Their eyes met and for a moment, sanity tried to slide back in between them but they ignored it, focusing on each other's mouths instead.

Lucas threw her shirt down on the floor and lifted her up in his arms. He kissed her forehead and her eyebrows and her eyelashes, loving every part of her as he lay her on the bed. He seperated from her but only for a moment as she slid his shirt from his body and covered his chest with tiny kisses. He lifted her and unbuckled her bra pausing to stare at her as he pushed it aside. She was beautiful and it took his breath away for a moment as the realization of what they were doing flitted around the edges of what was left of his mind. He was making love to _Haley_. He was making love to the girl he loved.

He gazed down at her as her hands slid down his chest pausing at his belt. She slowly began to unbuckle it, her gentle motions fueling the desire that was already coursing through his body. He could barely stand it and he flipped her over until she was on top of him, holding her as she pushed his jeans down with her feet.

In moments their clothes were scattered on the floor around them and they were naked in each others arms kissing each other with a feverish passion that would have set them on fire if they'd been kindling. But they weren't-- a fact which was evident to them both as they gripped each other tightly, brusing their skin in their desperate need to be closer.

Haley kissed a path down Lucas body leaving imprints of her mouth on his waist and thighs and legs... She wanted to kiss every part of him, to make every part of him hers with her mouth and her body. She moaned as he flipped her over onto her back, sliding his tongue over her breast and her navel until he reached the most intimate part of her. His lips caressed her thighs as his tongue darted from curve to secret curve burning her with his mouth, making her cry out his name over and over until his mouth covered her own again.

"I want you, Lucas..." she gasped as her body slid against his softly. "I want you now..."

He arched against her, catching her mouth with his as he pressed into her. She cried out, the sound lost inside of him as he pushed into her again and again whispering her name against her temple before passionately kissing her forehead and her cheeks until their mouths met again. Their tongues entertwined, mirrowing their bodies as they clung together, barely pulling apart for air as they make love, arching together over and over again... until they rose one last time their moans a lilting crescendo falling down onto the soft sheets around them. They lay together breathing quickly, their chests still pressed against one another rising with each breath, neither of them wanting to move, even if they could.

Lucas head was on her shoulder, softly kissing her damp skin and her head rested against his as they tried to catch their breath, their minds slowly clearing through the heated haze that their passion had induced. Reality was slowly edging in...but they continued to hold each other tightly, their hearts beating together in a syncapated rhythm. They didn't say anything as Lucas pulled the blanket around them and Haley turned in his arms. She buried her face in his neck, her arms around him, their legs entangled and he held her, caressing her back softly like she was the most fragile thing in the world...

...and neither of them said a thing.

* * *

"Wow, you are some piece of work Peyton," Nathan said coldly. "You, my ex-girlfriend, my supposed _friend_, have the nerve to call me a liar when you're the one who kept the truth about what was going on between Haley and Lucas from _me_?" His eyes were wide with anger as he shook his head incredulously. "Goodbye Peyton." 

He turned and started to walk away and Peyton jumped off the bench and followed him.

"I call them like I see them Nate and you are lying through your teeth to me right now. I've known you for _years--_most of which were spent as your girlfriend! Do you honestly think that I can't tell when you're not telling me the truth?"

Nathan shook his head and started to walk faster his eyes a deep dark blue in his face but Peyton hurried around him and stood in front of him blocking his path.

"What are you running away from Nate?" she asked. "What are you trying to hide?"

Nathan tried to walk pass her but she grabbed his arm.

"Do you really think that lying to me about Haley--lying to yourself--is going to make her fall back in love with you Nathan?" she said loudly."Do you think that it will stop her and Lucas from being together?"

He stared at her wrenching his arm from her grip."And do you really think that her being with that asshole is so much better than being with me Peyton?" he suddenly yelled. "That jerk-off lied to her from day one letting her think that he cared about her--that he _loved_ her when all the while he was screwing Brooke!"

His eyes were hard in his face as he glared at her. "Do you know that she could barely move that night, Peyton? I had to help her do everything. _Everything!_ She wouldn't even eat, I had to guilt her into it! Now, I may have been an ass to Haley in my day, but it doesn't even _begin_ to compare to what Lucas did to her heart!"

"But she loves him Nathan!" Peyton said earnestly "And what Lucas did wasn't entirely his fault--"

Nathan shook his head as he looked at the sky, his face incredulous. "Oh of course it wasn't!" he said sarcastically. "God forbid that Lucas should actually accept the blame for what _he_ did to Haley and Brooke. No, he's completely innocent in all this, I'm sorry! Thanks, for clearing that up!"

Peyton frowned. "Nathan, Lucas does deserve some of the blame. He should have told Brooke what was really going on months ago but believe me, he is much more innocent than Brooke in all of this."

Nathan shook his head. "Of course he is, Peyton. To you, Lucas will always be the lesser of two evils. You seem to think that the sun shines out of his ass."

Peyton frowned."Nathan--"

"Look, it doesn't really matter to me what you think or how blameless Lucas is or what Brooke did or didn't say! Haley is my only concern in this and I will do whatever it takes to keep her away from that bastard!"

But suddenly Peyton didn't seem to be listening to him anymore. Her eyes were narrowed keenly as she gazed at him and he frowned uncomfortably under her stare.

"What?"

Peyton watched him. "What Brooke did or didn't _say_?" she repeated looking into his eyes.

Nathan's eyes shifted from hers."What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know. You just said it." she said softly. "I didn't mention Brooke saying anything...but you did." She tilted her head at him."Why?" she asked. "What _did_ Brooke say, Nate?"

Nathan pushed pass her. "I don't have to listen to this." he muttered as he walked towards his car.

Peyton hurried to catch up to him. "What did she say, Nathan?" she asked. "Did she tell you that she knew about Lucas and Haley weeks ago? Did she tell you when she found out?"

Nathan reached his car and went to open his door but Peyton slammed it shut.

"Just tell me Nathan!" she said."What did Brooke tell you?"

"I don't know Peyton!" he suddenly yelled. "I don't know how she found out about Lucas and Haley--how she found out that you knew!"

Peyton stared at him nodding slowly. "But she did know didn't she and you found out." She gazed at him. "When did you found out? When, today? Yesterday...?"

She saw his eyes shift slightly when she said it and she knew that she'd found her answer or one of them at least. Brooke _had_ known about Lucas and Haley for a while and she'd let Nathan in on that little fact the day before but...why?Why did she tell him? She studied Nathan. Maybe if she was honest with him...maybe he'd let her in...

"Nathan, I think that Brooke found out about Lucas and Haley at least three weeks ago--probably longer." She said intently. "But instead of confronting them--instead of telling them that she knew-- she's been hurting them! Manipulating them and doing some...well some really bad things." She looked up at him. "She tricked Lucas, Nate. I can't tell you how but she tricked him in a really messed-up way--a way that he didn't deserve. So please, if you can tell me _anything_ that might resolve this ugly situation, anything that might help me help Haley, you have to tell me! We have to put an end to this screwed-up mess!"

Nathan looked over the hood of his car into the distance. Peyton could see that he was in deep thought, and that the core of his hardened resolve was melting. She touched his arm tentatively.

"We can make this better Nate. We might even be able to put a real smile back on to Haley's face. I know you care about her and I know you want her to be happy and you can!" She gazed at him. "If you would just let me in..._Please_..."

Nathan stared down at his car for a long moment, frowning deeply. He semed to come to a decision and Peyton waited quietly as he turned to look at her.

"Brooke lied to me." he finally said.

He took a deep breath, his voice quiet and low. "Several weeks ago she came to me and asked me to keep Haley occupied so that she could have Lucas all to herself.She said that Haley was monopolizing his time and she wanted to reconnect with him. I thought then that she just wanted to have some time with him but looking back..." he shook his head. "I know now that she was using me to break them up. She kept on suggesting things for me to do with Haley, suggesting that Haley wanted to do them too and I began to think..." he looked at Peyton smiling sadly. "I began to think that maybe Haley's feelings for me were still there and that I might have another shot. I didn't know the truth...I didn't know..." his voice faded away and he swallowed hard before continuing.

"She was the one who suggested I take Haley to TRIC friday night. She told me that Haley said that she wanted me to kiss her and like a jackass, I believed her." He looked at Peyton, his forehead puckered angrily. "She played me Peyton! She told me where and when to kiss Haley and I went along with it thinking that she only had my best interests at heart." He sighed, shaking his head at how clueless he'd been. "So I found the key she'd hidden behind TRIC for me and I took Haley into the room Brooke told me about and I told her I loved her...and I kissed her." His eyes were shiny as he stared at Peyton. "And she told me that she loved me too and I thought...for a second I thought that she did...And then I realised that it wasn't the kind of love that I felt." He paused and took a deep breath. " And that's when she told me that she was in love with someone else."

He stopped, frowning into the distance as his thoughts filled with memories of that night. "And then Brooke called asking Haley to bring her purse home and...well, you know the rest."

Peyton stared at Nathan stunned. She'd expected to hear the worse but...even she couldn't believe how low Brooke had sunk. She felt her stomach wrench painfully at the thought. It was sad but she barely recognized her best-friend anymore. The Brooke Davis that she'd grown up with, the Brooke that she knew and loved was practically non-existent. She looked at Nathan feeling a mixture of compassion and guilt. Part of her had thought that Nathan was more involved in Brooke scheme than she'd been willing to believe but he had been manipulated almost as badly as Lucas and Haley had.

She reached for his hand.

"Nate--"

"I've got to go." he said suddenly. His vulnerability had come and gone in the blink of an eye and he was the cool and aloof Nathan that he'd been when he'd arrived. The Nathan she knew.

"I hope I've given you enough dirt to work with." His tone was part bitter, part sarcastic but there was a serious undertone to it that made her look into his eyes.

"You have." she said simply. "Thanks."

Nathan nodded briefly and started to climb into his car but when he slid midway, he stopped.

"Peyton?" he said suddenly.

"Yes?"

His forehead puckered thoughfully as he paused. Then he looked at her.

"Don't be too hard on her." he said quietly."I know how it feels. To be Brooke."

"Nathan--"

"Lucas and Haley and I...our hearts weren't the only ones broken in all this."

Peyton stared at him for a long moment. Then she nodded briefly. "Okay." she said softly.

"Okay." Nathan said with a short nod.He started his car and pealed out of the parking lot in a cloudy haze of dirt and Peyton stared after him wonderingly.

All these years she'd known him...and she'd been wrong about him all along.

Nathan Scott did have a heart after all.


	42. Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye

**This chapter was inspired somewhat by the song _Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye _by Beth Nielsen Chapman.The song is heart-breaking but beautiful much like Haley and Lucas' relationship in this story so... if you ever get a chance to listen to it... **

**Hey and keep on reviewing! I like to hear what you guys think:)**

Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye

Haley trailed her fingers through the hot water as the bubbles rushed to cover her, sliding enticingly between her arms and around her waist...where Lucas arms encircled her.They were sitting in the bathtub in her bathroom, the lights off and the small curtain pulled over the tiny window, giving off just enough light to cast the bathroom in a dim glow.

It was perfect.

Haley lay her head back onto Lucas shoulder as his fingers trailed a path from her stomach to the valley between her breasts and rested there against her heart. She tilted her head as Lucas kissed her neck before holding her closer to him. She closed her eyes and blocked out all the thoughts that tried to come.

_No! _she thought quickly. _I'm not going to think about later_. _I'm going to stay in this moment...I'm going to remember this moment..._She laced her fingers through Lucas' and brought them to her lips. Her back was to him so she didn't see his expression but she heard his voice as it broke through the serene, scented silence.

"So are we going to talk about what happened now? Or do you want to continue to ignore the giant elephant in the room?"

Haley tensed against him. Damn it! Evidently Lucas wasn't going to follow her lead. She tried to smile as she turned to face him.

"What elephant?" she said as she slowly kissed his neck seductively. "I don't see an elephant. But that giraffe! Well--it's kind of turning me on--"

"Haley, I'm serious." Lucas said quietly.

And he was, she could hear it in his voice, in the way he said her name. It didn't sound mindless anymore. She exhaled deeply and moved to the other side of the tub so that she could look at him. They stared at each other, his eyes searching, her own wary. He seemed to be waiting to hear what she had to say.

She tried to smile. "What can I say Lucas? You're were fabulous! You make my body hum--"

"Don't do that." Lucas said softly, slowly shaking his had."Don't cheapen this so that it'll make it easier to cope--"

"Cope?" Haley said edgily. "Cope with what Lucas? You've proved that you can make me feel! That you can make me scream your name over and over, so what? We knew this! Passion was never our problem."

Lucas was staring at her wordlessly and she swallowd hard. _Keep him away Haley_, she thought._ Keep him at a distance and guard your heart. It was only sex,okay?It was only sex, it was only sex..._Maybe if she kept on repeating it, she would actually start to believe it.

"Why are you doing this?" he suddenly asked. "Why are you making this a physical thing? Even you can't deny that there are feelings here Haley. Feelings that go way beyond multiple orgasms!"

Haley tried to smile. "But why would you want to go beyond that?"

Lucas frowned. "Stop." he said softly. "Stop it Haley! Hurting me won't work.You can't push me away this time." He slid closer to her and held her face in his hands."I know you and I know that you're scared right now but we can't ignore this. We can't ignore _us_."

"Us!" Haley laughed shakily pulling away from him. "Wow, you let a guy between your legs and suddenly he wants to be an _us_! Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am when you need one?"

She saw Lucas recoil and her heart lurched but she kept her face impassive. _This is the way it has to be Haley,_she thought silently_, your heart can't afford another break. There are too many cracks already._

She sighed loudly and stood reaching for a towel. "Hmm...I wonder when Peyton will be back?" she said thoughtfully before schrugging. "I guess it really doesn't matter, I have a lot of packing to do anyways."

She wrapped the towel around herself and walked into the bedroom allowing her true emotions to rise to the surface for a brief moment. She felt her eyes fill with tears but she willed them back as she anxiously searched through the box she'd already thrown her clothes in. _Keep it together Haley,_she thought, _Peyton is not going to keep you locked in here forever--just keep it together until she comes back. _She pulled her underwear on and quickly schrugged into a bra, hastily searching for a shirt as she wiped a stray tear away._ Just think like Brooke_ _right now, _she thought anxiously._ Better yet, think _about _Brooke! Think about what happened--what you saw! You _don't _want to go back there Haley, you don't!_ She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Lucas walk up behind her.

But she felt his arms as they wound around her waist... and she felt her heart swell in her chest as she sank against him.

"Haley..." He whispered into her hair. "You are _not_ pushing me away. Do you hear me? We are going to deal with--with whatever this is together okay?"

"Lucas--"

"No." He turned her to face him, his hair damp, water dripping down his chest to the towel wrapped around his waist. He looked deeply into her eyes and she suddenly felt like he was looking right into her soul...and finding his name written there.

"You don't have to be scared of me Haley." he said brokenly. "I know--I know that I've put you through hell this past couple of weeks but I want you to know something..."

Haley shook her head. She couldn't hear this--she didn't want to--

Lucas stared at her intently. "I don't care if you have feelings for Nathan. What just happened beween us has showed me that...somewhere inside of you, there are feelings for me too!"

Haley stared at him unable to deny her obvious attraction.She knew he could see it in her eyes. "It doesn't matter how I feel, Luke!"

"Yes it does, Haley!" Lucas said intently. "All that matters is how you feel, how _we_ feel! All that matters..." he gripped her arms tightly. "All that matters...is that I love you. I love you Haley! I always have and I always will and I want to be with you--"

Haley pulled away from him. "I can't--"

"Yes you can---"

"No! " She said pulling away from him and moving back, putting distance between them. "I can't do this again.I won't believe anymore lies."

Lucas stared at her confused. "What _lies_?"

"Yours." she said her eyes large and morose in her face. "Your lies, Lucas. Please...no more! Don't lie to me anymore." she said softly. "Especially not now--and please don't lie to yourself!"

Lucas stared at her in confusion. "I'm not lying Haley..." he said shaking his head. "To you _or_ to myself! I know what I want. I want you--"

"And Brooke and whoever else comes along when you change your mind." Haley stared at him. "Did you think that I'd forgotten? That making love to you wiped the slate clean? I caught you in bed with another girl Lucas, with our friend--your ex-_girl_friend!"

She grabbed a shirt and a pair of jeans from inside of the box and pulled them on before turning to face him. "What we have, what works for _us_--is passion! You _lust_ me, you don't love me! You can't love me and end up in the arms of another girl over and over again! You just can't!" She looked at him. "I finally understand and accept that and I can't go through it again,Lucas. My heart can't take anymore."

Lucas stared at her, stunned. When he spoke, his voice was quiet and detached. "Everything that happened with Brooke was a mistake Haley. I've told you that over and over again...but you can't seem to believe that. You can't seem to trust me...or you won't let yourself."

Haley looked at him and her heart ached at the expression on his face. His eyes were dark and pained and small in his face.

"Is it really because of what you think I _don't _feel for you? Or what you just don't feel for me?" He tilted his head. "Or maybe it's what you feel for Nathan."

Haley stared at him, confused. "What?" she whispered.

"How much of you not wanting to be with me is about my mistake with Brooke and how much is about your obsession with my brother?"

Haley's mouth fell open. "Are you _kidding_ me!" She said heatedly."I caught you in bed with Brooke_ twice, _Lucas! Twice! Nathan had nothing to do with that!"

"Doesn't he? I caught you kissing _him_ twice Haley!" He yelled back. "But I've let both times go. I'm not continually shoving what you did in your face as an excuse!"

"An excuse to _what, _Lucas?"

He glared at her. "An excuse to be with someone else!"

Haley frowned angrily. "Nathan kissed _me_!" she cried. "_Both_ times! And _we _kept our clothes on!"

"And that makes it less of a betrayal?" Lucas asked, hostility emanating from him in waves. "In what alternate universe is it okay to kiss someone who isn't your boyfriend?"

Haley shook her head with disbelief. Did Lucas actually believe that what she'd done held a candle to his Hummer-sized headlights?

"_You _messed this up Lucas!" she yelled. "You, not me! So if you want to blame someone for our undoing, look to yourself!"

Lucas was heated as he grabbed his clothes from the floor where they'd been tossed and started to put them on, his actions disoriented and stilted.

"Okay, I understand now." He said tightly."You don't want to be with me? Fine! You have feelings for Nathan? Fine! But just _admit_ it! Don't hide behind what you _want_ to think is going on between me and Brooke! And don't act like it broke your heart! We both know that's a lie!"

Haley stopped, frozen as his last words reverberated inside of her._Don't act like it broke her heart?_ She didn't have to act! Walking in on Brooke and Lucas' personal little peep-show had taken away any clear thought in her mind, leaving only feeling and heartbreak! She couldn't believe that he'd said something so cruel to her but most of all, she couldn't believe that remembering still hurt the same way that it had that night. The pain that she'd felt was falling in waves around her, crashing down on her like a waterfall and she turned and clutched her dresser, bracing herself against it.

Lucas was by her side instantly.

"Haley!.." he said softly. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean it! I didn't."

She turned and looked at him, her eyes wide with the pain she'd been re-living since that night and his heart thudded against his chest at the realization that he had put it there.

"I'm sorry." he whispered again. "I'm so sorry about what I did Haley! And I'm sorry that you saw it and I'm sorry for what I said--Hales...please forgive me..."

His eyes were full as he turned her to face him and she looked into them before slowly laying her head on his shoulder. She let him hold her as she cried in his arms and he held her tightly, as if by doing so, they would become one.

But they didn't. They'd never been more farther apart.

"Forgive me Haley." he said brokenly as she buried her face in his chest. "Please forgive me..."

Neither of them turned around as a soft knock sounded at the door or as it slowly opened and Peyton looked in, a small smile spreading across her face at the sight of them together. They didn't notice anything. Their eyes were locked in silent communication, his pleading, hers sad and broken.

"Haley..." Lucas said softly.

She smiled sadly and lifted a hand to his cheek, softly caressing it before she lowered it to her side.Then she took a deep breath.

"I can't." she said brokenly."I can forgive you Lucas. But I can't forget..and I can't be with you."

Tears slid down her face as their eyes locked. "Goodbye." she whispered.

She pulled away from him, tearing her eyes from his as she reached for her bag. Then she walked from the room pushing pass Peyton on her way out.

"Haley--" Peyton said.

But Haley hurried down the hall and out the kitchen door. Peyton turned and stared at Lucas as they heard Deb's car start up and squeal from the driveway.

"Lucas," she said anxiously. "You have to go after her! I found out some things---"

"Forget it Peyton." He said with difficulty. "It's done." He turned to look at her, his eyes wide with disbelief and anguish." Haley and I...we're through. It's over. It's really over."

* * *

Brooke fell across Bevin's bed, her chest rising quickly which each stilted breath that she took. She'd been going through every single one of the squads cheers and dances with Bevin all evening and she was exhausted. She glanced at the clock and was startled to see that it was already after nine. 

"Gosh, it's late." she murmured. Bevin who was passed out beside her, glanced at the time.

"Wow, it really is." She took a deep breath."We practiced right through supper! I'm surprised my mom didn't bellow."She grinned at Brooke."She's being going through this anorexic-paranoia kick ever since she saw this special on 20/20 about anorexic cheerleaders. I swear she almost faints if she finds out that I've skipped a meal."

Brooke smiled. "Hey, at least she cares." she pointed out. "I once went an entire week without eating and my mother pointed out that I should probably add an extra day in, you know, to help my 'problem areas'."

Bevin looked at her startled. "Really?"

Brooke nodded. "Yeah. Don't look so stunned, that was actually one of her more 'involved' motherly moments. It's not so bad. I mean she's not quite _Mother Dearest_, but there are days when I wonder why she had me."

"Gosh..." Bevin murmured, her eyes wide as she suddenly became grateful for her mother for the first time in her life.

Brooke sighed. "Speaking of which, I better head home. I'm sure that _someone_ is missing me...even if it's the neighbors dog." She smiled and sat up. "I'm the only one who ever brings her treats."

She stood and Bevin glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

"Hey, why don't you spend the night?" Bevin suddenly asked as if the thought had suddenly occurred to her.

Brooke smiled surprised. "You want me to spend the night again?"

Bevin grinned."Yeah, why not?" she said earnestly." It's fun having you here! I've never had a sister and this is the next best thing. What do you say?"

Brooke smiled at her. She supposed she could if only to hide out for one more night. Part of her wanted to crawl under Bevin's bed and never come out again. And she was sure that no one was looking for her so she probably could get away with it. And...it had really felt good to be wanted somewhere again. Needless to say, she'd felt like the fourth wheel for weeks!

Still...the smart part of her, the part of her that focused on math instead of M.A.C and morals instead of male models, knew that she had to get back to reality. The _true_ reality, not the one she'd created.

During her and Bevin's cheer tutorial, her mind had only partially been engrossed in front hurdlers and herkies. Her thoughts had mostly been consumed with images of her friends. She'd thought about Peyton and Nathan and Haley and Lucas-- especially Lucas. She hadn't been able to get the look he'd had in his eyes the last time she'd seen him, off her mind.He'd looked so sad and so...lost. And _she_ had done that to him. She'd done that to _all_ of them. And suddenly Brooke had seen and understood the full ramifications of what she'd created.

And it made her sick to her stomach.

And so...she'd made the incredibly difficult but necessary decision to fix it. She was going to tell them all the truth, the whole truth and nothing but...

So help her God.

After making the decision to come clean, she'd felt...lighter somehow. She was going to rush right out and tell them right then but suddenly Bevin had freakishly forgotten all the rest of the squad's dance moves as well and as the captain of the squad Brooke couldn't bring herself to leave the hysterical girl.Plus, it had given her time to think about what she was going to say... and what she was going to do when they all left her.

And her and Bevin _were_ done practicing now. They'd gone through each cheer and dance that Brooke had made-up and after a shaky beginning, Bevin had picked them all right back up.

Brooke sighed deeply. _Which means_...she thought resignately,_ it's times for you to go face your demons Davis._

She stood slowly. "I appreciate the invite Bev, but I really have to go home now." She picked up her suitcase. "There's something really important that I have to take care of."

Bevin forced a smile. "Do it later!" she said tugging on Brooke's arm. "Come on B, can you really say no to chocolate _and_ Paul Walker? I just bought _The Fast and The Furious_! We can even skip every scene he's not in!"

Brooke smiled. "Sounds tempting, but I really have to go,Bev. Raincheck?"

Bevin eyes widened in alarm. " No Brooke, you can't leave just yet!"

Brooke looked at her startled. "Bevin I have to go, quit wigging out! You're starting to creep me..."

Bevin bit her lip. "Oh Peyton 's going to kill me..." she muttered her voice fading away as she realized that she'd said the words out loud.

Brooke's look changed from one of bewilderment to confusion...to seething anger as she stared at the girl in front of her and Bevin slowly looked at her timidly. Brooke dropped her suitcase and put her hands on her hips.

"So you couldn't remember any of the cheers huh?" she said quietly, her eyes flashing hazel as she glared at the girl.

Bevin smiled weakly. "Not really...at least a couple of them anyway..." She giggled nervously as Brooke folded her arms, her pretty face set with a dangerous calm.

"Bevin?" she suddenly asked softly.

Bevin looked at her hesitantly. "Yes?"

"Do you treasure your role as a member of the Ravens cheerleading squad? Do you like your popularity and the fact that all guys want you because you own a pair of pom poms?"

Bevin shrank underneath her pointed glare. "Yes..." she said slowly.

Brooke eyes looked like small emeralds inside her head. "Do you want to start senior year sitting in the stands...by yourself?"

Bevin shook her head wordlessly and Brooke smiled and sat down beside her on the bed. Her smile faded.

"Spill." she said quietly. "I want to know everything you know _right_ now, or you'll be eating lunch in your car this year got it?"

Bevin did get it. Berating herself mentally, she edged away from her glowering captain.

Then she spilled.


	43. A Long Time Ago,We Used To Be Friends

A Long Time Ago, We Used To Be Friends

Nathan pulled into his driveway and turned off the car. He noticed his mom's car parked ahead of him and he exhaled loudly and lay back against his seat. He knew what was waiting for him inside the house but no part of him was ready to hear it. After telling Peyton everything, he'd driven around for a couple of hours trying to convince himself that he'd done the right thing, realizing that both he and Haley had been lied too, knowing in his heart that Haley needed to know the truth...

...and regretting that he'd opened his big mouth at all.

Truth or no truth, there was no way that Haley was better off with Lucas whether she loved him or not. His brother had a strange way of breaking the hearts of the girls who loved him and Nathan hated that Haley was now a part of that club.

He stared up at the window of the bedroom Haley was staying in. The lights were on and Nathan frowned as he pictured her face, glowing with happiness and excitement, hurt but overwhelmed with relief at the realization that Brooke had been behind the whole thing--even Lucas ending up in her bed. He frowned at the thought. He didn't understand what Peyton had meant about that but he had no doubt that she'd been telling the truth. Despite all that had happened between them, he knew that lying was not a thing that Peyton did very well. He'd always loved and hated that about her because she'd always told him what was on her mind. _Always. _Good, bad or ugly, he always knew what she was thinking even when he didn't want to know.

...Like all of the truths she'd thrown at him about Haley. He hadn't wanted to listen but he'd known that she was right. Haley _did_ love Lucas. He hadn't thought it'd be possible for her to love anyone as much as or _more_ than she'd loved him.

But she did. He'd seen it in her eyes at Tric the night she'd told him the truth and again when they'd walked in on Brooke and Lucas. And he'd seen it everytime he'd looked at her since. No matter how much he wanted too, even he couldn't deny that Haley was head over heels and what Lucas had done tore her up and broke her down worse than anything he'd ever seen happen to her. And he hated to see her like that. The light that was irrepressively Haley had dimmed somewhat since friday and he wanted it back, no matter how it came back.

And that's why he'd told Peyton what he knew.

And now he couldn't bring himself to get out of his car and go inside because he knew what he would find and what she'd say...before she left him.

Again.

He took a deep breath before resignately climbing out of his car. He slammed the door shut glancing up at the window again as he slowly made his way towards the house._It's now or never Scott_, he thought as he walked into the silent darkness. The house was quiet and still and he locked the door and stared up the long stairway hesitantly before climbing them.

"Haley?" he called as he reached the landing pausing to glance down the hall towards her room. An unintelligible sound was coming from that direction and he walked over to her door and looked in.

"Haley...?" he said as he surveyed the dim room pausing when he saw her sitting on the edge of her bed. He frowned and walked in further.

"Haley what are you...?"

His voice faded away as she looked up at him and he saw her red-rimmed eyes and the tears running down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" he asked, confusion widening his eyes as he dropped to his knees beside her. Haley looked at him before wordlessly falling into his arms and hugging him tightly.

"It's over Nathan." she said with a ragged breath. "Lucas and I...it's really over."

* * *

Peyton leaned against the wall of Haley's room, staring into the growing darkness her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. She'd been standing there for awhile trying to figure out what had happened between Lucas and Haley. After Haley had left she'd tried to talk to Lucas to ask him what had happened and to tell him what she'd found out, but it was like his mind had left right along with Haley. He'd barely heard one word before he'd grabbed his keys and left the house. She'd heard his truck start up and drive away and had stood standing in quiet bewilderment wondering how she was going to tell Haley and Lucas the whole horrible truth when neither of them would stand still for a moment. And when both their hearts were in such ruin.

She looked around the room trying to make sense of the heart-wrenching scene that she'd just witnessed and her eyes landed on a tiny square paper on the bed. She stared at it, her eyes slowly widening as she suddenly realized what it was.

A used condom wrapper. A very _recently_ used condom wrapper by the looks of it. Her forehead puckered in confusion. Any other time she would have thought that it was a good sign but as she thought of Haley's last words and the shattered look in Lucas eyes, her frown deepened.Whatever had happened between them, the sooner she told Lucas and Haley the whole truth, the better.

She took out her cell phone intent on calling Lucas, when it rang in her hands. She saw Bevin's number and frowned as she flipped it open.

"Bev what's up?"

Bevin's voice was anxious and high-pitched. "Peyton I'm _so_ sorry!I tried to keep her here but then she got all suspicious and all of a sudden she was threatening me and asking me all these questions and I tried not to say anything but then she was all 'do you want to sit with the chess club?' and I was all 'no!' and she was all--"

"Bevin wait, slow down!" Peyton said quickly."You're talking about Brooke, right?"

"Yes!" Bevin said loudly. "I tried to keep her here but then she realized what I was doing and forced me to tell her everything and she was beyond _pissed_!"

Peyton nodded calmly as she narrowed her eyes. "Okay, it's all right Bevin. How mad could she really be at you? You were only keeping her busy for me while I was busy trying to make it up to her."

"That's what _I_ said!" Bevin exclaimed. "But then she was all 'yeah right, Peyton's up to something!' and I was all 'no, she's not!' and she was all 'yes she is!' and I was all 'no, she's not!' and she was all--"

"Bevin!" Peyton interrupted impatiently. "It's okay, don't worry about it alright? Where is she now?"

Bevin sighed. "That's just it, I don't know! She ran out of here about fifteen minutes ago and she didn't say where she was going."

Peyton frowned. "Bevin, fifteen minutes ago? Why didn't you call me when she left?"

She could almost hear Bevin's distress. "Because she told me not to call you! She said that if I did, I would be on the B squad this year and you _know_ she can make that happen, Peyton! And I can't be on the B squad, I just _can't_! I'd rather wear polyester--_forever_!"

Peyton sighed. "Okay Bev, it's okay. Don't worry about anything, you did great. Thanks for your help okay?"

She hung up and glanced at her watch trying to guesstimate how much time she had before Brooke would be home.

As if in answer to her question, she heard the smooth hum of Brooke's beetle pull into the driveway and she smiled tightly,happy that she had decided to park behind Lucas house at the last minute.

"Well if it isn't the Brooke Formerly Known As Friend." she whispered as she slipped out of Haley's room.

She strode purposefully towards her room. It was time to end the whole sick mess.

And she would start with the person who put the _sick_ in it.

* * *

Brooke jumped out of her car leaving her suitcase inside of it. She wasn't sure how long she'd have before Peyton got home but her car wasn't there and she had every intention of not being there when she got home. She'd already called Mouth and he'd said that she could stay with him until she figured out her next move and even though she had no idea what that move _was_, she knew that there was no way it would be anywhere near her former friends.

Because Peyton knew.

She knew everything. As soon as Bevin told her that Peyton had asked her to keep Brooke occupied, she'd known that her friend--her _former _friend-- knew everything. She knew Peyton almost as well as she knew herself and the only way that Peyton would rely on anyone's help--especially Bevin's--was if she was desperate. And Peyton was rarely desperate...unless she was upset about something she couldn't handle. Something that she had to solve on her own before involving others...others like Haley and Lucas...

Brooke felt her heartbeat increase as she raced into the house. If she knew Peyton half as well as she thought she did, she figured that somehow Peyton had found out what she'd done and she'd wanted Brooke out of the way while she figured out how to get proof and tell everyone. And Brooke wanted to be somewhere else when they all found out. All her previous intentions of telling them the truth flew out the window with every rapidly irratic beat of her heart. It was too late now. Peyton was probably telling them all at that very minute!

She ran into her room and threw open her suitcases, cramming each of them with her clothes before turning to her dresser and grabbing her overnight valise. Suddenly she froze and turned to look at Karen's oak chest, as Peyton's letters suddenly slid into her thoughts. She'd forgotten all about them in her hurry to leave and now...

She slowly walked towards it and opened it. She could only imagine what Peyton already thought of her, but when she found out about the letters...Brooke swallowed with difficulty as she opened the chest and dug to the bottom throwing the albums aside until she found what she was looking for. She slowly pulled the thick bundle of letters out and stared at them. Her first impulse was to rip them up and throw them in the garbage. No evidence, no proof? No crime. And despite the fact that she was sure she was at the bottom of Peyton 'like' list she knew that Peyton would absolutely _hate_ her if she knew that she'd been hiding Jake's letters the whole time. Brooke's eyes filled with tears.Despite everything...she almost couldn't bare the thought of that.

But another part of her, the part of her that had held Peyton's hand at her mothers funeral, the part of her that was always in awe of the tough little girl with the blond curls, _that_ part of her couldn't even fathom not giving Peyton what was rightfully hers. _That_ part of her, the part that secretly hoped Peyton would forgive her one day, clutched the letters to her chest and turned around with the full intention of putting the letters on Peyton's pillow.

But she stopped, her eyes wide and startled as she found Peyton leaning casually on the bedroom door behind her. Without missing a beat, she quickly hid the letters behind her as she watched her friend slowly step inside the room.

"You seem in an awful hurry." Peyton said quietly. "You looked like you were looking for something." She slowly lifted her hand to display Brooke's tiny mint case. "They wouldn't happen to be these, would they?"

Brooke swallowed as she hid the letters even further behind her back.

"What are those?" she asked boldly, her voice more nonchalant than she actually felt.

Peyton stared at her slowly shaking her head. "So that's how you're going to play this? Are you really going to stand there and pretend that you don't know what's in this case?"

Brooke's uncertain stare wavered but she held her ground. "Peyton, I assume that there are mints in that case because there were mints in it when I bought it." She said breezily, reaching for her overnight bag. "Now is there a point to this or are we going to stand around all night talking about breath mints?"

Peyton's eyes narrowed darkly. "Oh I'm sorry, am I boring you?" she asked with mock concern. "Well maybe I can liven up this conversation!"

She opened the mint case and shook out two of the pills into her hand before she returned her accusing stare to Brooke.

"Wow! Well slap my ass and call me shocked! I thought that these were mints!" She looked at Brooke. "Have any idea why there are drugs in your mint case instead of well---mints, Brooke?"

Brooke's steady gaze weakened as Peyton's accusing eyes bore holes into her own. She clutched the letters behind her, forcing a shocked look onto her face.

"Oh my God Peyton!" she cried. "How did those get in there? Someone must have switched that case with mine--"

"Oh cut the crap Brooke!" Peyton cried. "Just stop lying!" She glared at her, her eyes a mixture of anger and stunned disbelief. "I know everything." She shook her head sadly. "I know what you've done."

Brooke felt her heart drop at the look in Peyton's eyes. She could see sadness and anger there but what really hit her was the disappointment. More than anything else, Peyton was disappointed with her and that filled her with shame...and resentment. Afterall all, who was Peyton to feel disappointed with her? Peyton had been the one who helped to start the whole mess! If she'd told her the truth, none of it would have even happened! Right from the beginning, before she'd given Lucas her heart completely,Peyton could have said something, but she didn't. Peyton had no right to be so self-righteous when she'd helped hide the secret that had caused the whole thing! Brooke felt her anger rise inside of her and threaten to boil to the surface but she swallowed hard and looked at her friend calmly.

"I don't have to listen to this. " she said impatiently. "I don't know _what_ you've be smoking Peyton but we both know who does drugs in this room. And I refuse to stand here and listen to anymore of this crap."

Peyton's mouth fell open at Brooke's insinuation but she grabbed her friends arm as she tried to push pass her.

"Hell, no." she said,shaking her head. "You aren't going anywhere." she whispered furiously. "Neither of us are leaving this room until you admit what you did Brooke. Right. Now."

* * *

Nathan silently held Haley as she sobbed into his shoulder. Everything inside was screaming at him to tell her what he knew--to tell her that somehow Brooke was responsible for her heartbreak. But--what could he say? Eventhough he knew what Brooke had done to him and what Peyton had told him, he didn't know how she'd hurt Haley. How would he explain it?

_And do you really even want too?_ a voice inside whispered. His thoughts faded back to the day before when he'd confronted Brooke and her parting words reverberated through his mind like poison...

_"If Lucas and Haley thought that I played any role in their break-up, how long do you think it would take for Haley to be back in his arms? To be back in his bed? How long do you think Haley would need your shoulder to cry on if she thought this was all just one big mistake?"_

He stared into the dim room, instinctively holding Haley even tighter as she cried. No...maybe it had all worked out for the best. Lucas didn't deserve Haley anyways. It was his fault the whole thing had started. All he did was cause Haley pain, and Nathan wasn't going to let that happen again. It was all for the best, he thought frowning as Haley clutched at his sleeve.All for the best...

Wasn't it?

* * *

Brooke pulled her arm fom Peyton's grasp. "What the hell, P?--"

Peyton glared at her. "How could you Brooke?" she asked."How could you do it?"

Brooke tried to maintain her cool but she could feel herself losing the battle. Quickly. "I don't have time for this shit--"

"How could you _drug_ Lucas of all people?" Peyton asked incredulously, her eyes narrowed in disbelief." After claiming you loved him?How could you do something so--so horrible?"

Brooke stared at her, her anger threatening to undo her, but she held it back. "For the last time, I don't know what you're talking about---"

"And Haley!" Peyton continued as if she hadn't heard her. "Do you realize how _shattered _she is? Do you even _care?" _Peyton eyes seemed vaguely searching as she gazed at her friend before they faded into bewilderment. "How could you hurt them like that Brooke?"

Brooke had been steadily talking herself down as her anger rose continuously like a growing storm under Peyton's accusing stare and endless tirade, but her ending comment cut through her like a knife. How could _she_ hurt _them_? Was she serious? Lucas and Haley had broken her heart too! In fact they'd done it _first_! But did Peyton care? Did any of them care? No, they didn't! They hadn't even cared enough to tell her what was going on right under her nose. And _she _was the horrible one?

Peyton was staring at her as if she'd grown another head...and the head resembled Hitler and Brooke's eyes narrowed. There was no way that she deserved this. No.Freakin'.Way.

"I thought I knew you..." Peyton said softly as she stared at Brooke. "But I really don't, do I? Did I ever? I mean the Brooke I knew would never stoop this low to get revenge--Never! The Brooke I knew was honest and had a heart---"

"And the Peyton I knew wasn't a self-righteous bitch!" Brooke yelled.

Peyton's froze, stunned into silence and Brooke smiled in satisfaction. "What? You didn't like hearing that did you?' she asked quietly. "It doesn't feel good when someone says shitty things to you, someone you thought was your friend!"

Peyton stared at her. "I am your friend Brooke. Or I thought I was--"

"And I thought you were too! " Brooke yelled. "But you weren't. Somewhere along the line I stop mattering to you and Lucas and Haley started to mean more."

Peyton eyes widened as she shook her head. "That's not true Brooke--"

"Really?" Brooke said as tears stung her eyes. But she didn't hold them back. She couldn't anymore."Then how could you not tell me Peyton?" she asked, her voice breaking on the words. "How could you not tell me the truth about Lucas and Haley?" Her eyes were filled with pain as she stared at Peyton. "There were so many times--_so_ many times that I waited for you to just spit it out! But you never did. You all just kept on lying to me like I was nothing! Like I didn't matter in your little world! I mean don't I count?" she asked."Didn't it matter that I knew? How I felt?"

Peyton's eyes were shiny. "Yes, it did Brooke--it does! It matters that your heart was broken in this. Lucas should have told you what was going on right from the start." she looked at her. "But you never gave him a chance. You took what you knew and you let it feed your anger until it made you someone that I don''t even recognize."

"So it's my fault then?" Brooke said angrily. "It's my fault for being angry that Lucas and Haley were too freakin' cowardly to tell me the truth?"

Peyton shook her head. "No." she said softly. "No it's not. It's your fault because of what you let the truth do to us all."

* * *

Haley slowly pulled away from Nathan and looked up at him. The dim light from the room cast his face in shadow creating a glow around his head and she smiled softly.

"Thank you Nate." she whispered. "For everything. You've been so great to me throughout this whole--mess."

Nathan looked away. " Not always..." he said quietly.

Haley nodded. "Yes you have!" she said, her voice soft and sincere. "You've been..." she paused. "You've been like a guardian angel."

Nathan smiled slightly, averting his eyes from hers. "I'm not sure that's true." He said." But it was definitely corny."

Haley sniffled as she smiled at him. "Nathan really.You've been an angel." she said tilting her head with a teasing smile. "There's even a glow around you..." She reached up to touch his hair and he caught her hand in his,holding it gently before slowly kissing it. She watched him, stunned by the gesture but she didn't pull her hand away. She looked at him. And his eyes were so soft, so soft and safe...

"I'm sorry." he whispered. "About what happened. I'm sorry that Lucas hurt you."

Haley felt her eyes fill again. "You are?" she said uncertainly. "You don't...you don't think that I deserve it somehow? For hurting _you_?"

Nathan shook his head, his eyes dark and navy in his face. "No one deserves to be hurt like that Haley. Especially you."

Haley watched him as he gently turned her hand around and kissed her palm. There was something wrong about that--something _too_ intimate. But she couldn't say anything all of a sudden.

And his eyes were so soft...

* * *

Brooke stared at Peyton, her eyes narrowed angrily as Peyton watched her.

"Don't you see?" Peyton whispered. "Don't you see how messed-up this whole thing has gotten? How bad it's become?"

Brooke glared at her. "Right. It's horrible how upset poor Haley is over seeing Lucas and I together. Boo freakin' Hoo!"

"Brooke, it's more than that!" Peyton cried. "Haley is completely broken! She thinks that love isn't real! And Lucas? He doesn't know up from down anymore! His whole world has changed. And Nathan--"

Brooke's glare wilted somewhat and Peyton slowly walked towards her. "I have never seen Nathan so lost." She stopped in front of Brooke and looked into her eyes. "You feel you had a substantial reason to hurt Lucas and Haley? Okay, fine! It's no excuse but at the very least, it's understandable. But what about Nathan?What's your excuse for hurting him?"

"I didn't mean too." Brooke said before she could stop herself. She frowned deeply. "I didn't set out to hurt Nathan--I didn't want that."

"But you did Brooke." Peyton said quietly. "You hurt him badly. Heck, after all of this is over...Nathan may be the one hurt most of all."

* * *

Nathan stared at Haley. His heart was beating so loudly in his chest that he was sure that Haley could hear it. But he didn't ask her. He only stared. She was watching him and the look in her eyes...There was a quiet desperation in the way that she was looking at him.In the way that her eyes glowed.It made him want to touch her. He reached for her cheek.

"No matter what Haley, I've never wanted you to be hurt." he whispered.

"Never?" she said softly.

Nathan shook his head. "I've always wanted you to be happy. No matter who it was with." She stared at him wistfully. "I mean it hurt that it wasn't with me but--"

Haley shook her head. "I'm sorry that I hurt you Nathan. You deserved so much more than I gave you, so much more than _me._"

"But I only wanted _you_." he said softly.

She looked up at him and a single tear slid down her cheek. He reached up and wiped it away and this time she caught his hand in her own. They stared at each other as tears silently began to fall down her cheek and he wiped them away wordlessly drawing closer to her with each touch until their faces were moments apart. He felt her breath on his cheek as their eyes locked.

"I only wanted you Haley..." he whispered again. She felt his face draw closer to hers and something inside of her knew that it was wrong, more wrong than him kissing her hand or her palm. But then his lips touched hers forcing all other thoughts from her mind and the pain suddenly wasn't as fierce or as real and her thoughts became a dull, soothing roar. And she couldn't feel anything but his mouth on hers...

So she didn't pull away, even as his arms encircled her drawing her closer, drifting back with her onto the bed. Covering her with his warmth. No...

She didn't pull away at all.


	44. Burn, Baby Burn

Burn, Baby Burn

Brooke and Peyton stared at each other, neither of then backing down or relenting. Brooke's eyes narrowed angrily.

"If you think for one second that I'm going to accept _any_ of the blame for what _you_ guys did to Nathan, then you have another thought coming."

Peyton frowned. "Are you _serious_? Do you really think that Nathan would be involved in _any_ of this if you hadn't pulled him into your--your twisted _crap_?"

Brooke glared at her. "How hard would it have been for Haley to open up her mouth and tell him the truth about her and Lucas,huh?She could have told him anytime Peyton--_anytime_! When he forgave her, all the times they hung out--there were countless opportunities for her to tell him. But she didn't. She kept up the charade even when he was obviously falling for her again."

"Nathan never stopped loving Haley, Brooke--"

"All the more reason for her to open up her big fat mouth and say something!" Brooke yelled. "But she didn't, did she?And it's _my_ fault! Bullshit!"

Peyton shook her head slowly.Even with all that she had found out, all that she had learned she hadn't fully realized how much her friend had changed--how much Brooke had let her resentment change her. It was more than sad, it was heartbreaking. For the first time that night, Peyton felt tears sting the corners of her eyes.

"Look at you Brooke. " she whispered brokenly. "I can hardly recognize you. You used to be so happy, so..so full of life and well--- greatness! You used to be so amazing Brooke. The core of you was never touched by any of the crap that went on around us--the crap that went on in our lives."

"No it wasn't." Brooke said, hating herself for the tears that slid down her cheeks. She wiped them away angrily."I guess having your best-friends betray you can screw up even the nicest of people huh?"

Peyton shook her head impatiently. "See, I don't get that Brooke." she said with frustration. "How did we betray you exactly? You and Lucas weren't going out when they fell in love so he wasn't cheating on you. Heck, you weren't even going out _before _that! So how did we betray you by not telling you that he and Haley were together?"

Brooke's face flushed with embarassment and anger. "Gee Peyton, I know you're blond and all but really..." she glared at her. "You actually don't know how you betrayed me? You all let me act like a fool everyday, Peyton!" she cried. "Every time I threw myself at him or imagined that his feelings were growing for me, you all knew the truth. And none of you said a thing. Not one thing!"

Peyton shook her head. Brooke did have a point but there was nothing that would excuse her behavior. Ripping apart three seperate lives all because of hurt feelings? It wasn't right. It wasn't and Brooke wasn't getting away with any of it.

"There is no excuse for what you've done Brooke." Peyton said in a low voice. "Drugging Lucas, manipulating Haley and Nathan..." she shook her head. "I know we hurt you and I understand why you're angry. But what you've done!.." Her eyes were narrowed as she looked at Brooke. "You don't even seem to care how much pain you've caused here and that's what really scares me Brooke. It really does because the Brooke I know..." her voice broke and she cleared her throat. "The Brooke that I _knew_ would never have caused so much pain on purpose."

Brooke looked away as she suddenly became aware again of the letters she clutched tightly behind her back. She swallowed with difficulty as Peyton continued.

"Even with everything that's been done..." Peyton looked into her eyes. "You can make it all better Brooke." she whispered. "You can change things--tonight! And all you have to do...is tell the truth."

Brooke's eyes widened before they narrowed slowly. "You're kidding right?" she asked chuckling bitterly.

Peyton shook her head. "No, I'm not." she said quietly." We can keep this entire conversation to ourselves. Lucas and Haley never have to know that I found out the truth. All you have to do is go to them both...and tell them what you've done."

Brooke stared at her silently, her face slowly hardening as she glowered at her. Then her face changed completely. She smiled.

"You want me to tell Lucas and Haley everything I did?" she asked slowly. Peyton nodded and she continued. " You want me to come clean and lay my feelings bare and ask for forgiveness and make all the bad things fade away?"

Peyton was silent and still and Brooke nodded slowly.

"Okay." she said calmly. "I will."

Peyton's eyes widened in surprise. "You--you will?" she ask stunned.

Brooke nodded. "Sure," she said quietly. "Right after I ask Tim to marry me and get Mouth to perform the wedding, I'll give both Lucas and Haley a call." She picked up her bag and turned to leave, hiding the letters at her side but Peyton grabbed it and stopped her.

"Brooke, you're not understanding me." she said slowly. "If you don't tell them the truth... I will."

There was a finality in her voice when she said those words that caught Brooke's attention.Her eyes were sad as she gazed at her and for a moment Brooke's frown softened. She suddenly remembered a specific time long ago when her and Peyton were nine. She was in her bedroom packing because she'd had it with her parents. They hadn't made it to what had to be her hundredth dance recital and she'd been so angry that she'd decided to run away and never come back. Peyton had spent an hour trying to convince her to stay but when Brooke had dragged her bag out of her room and down the stairs to the front door, Peyton had grabbed the bag and stopped her. She'd looked into her eyes and said, 'Please don't leave Brooke, you're my sister. If you leave I will be an only child again.'

Brooke felt her eyes well up with tears as the memory faded and she found herself staring at her friend holding her back yet again, begging her to do the right thing. She looked into Peyton's eyes feeling a deep sadness well up inside and overwhelm her. They were so far from that time that she could barely remember how it felt to be that close to Peyton again. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe one day...but she didn't let herself think beyond that point.

"Goodbye Peyton." she said softly. She turned to leave but Peyton grabbd her hand and stopped her again.

"No Brooke, wait..." she began but Brooke yanked her hand away just as Peyton let go of her and she lost her balance. Brooke fell to the floor as her overnight bag flew open, tossing clothes and accessories all around them. Clothes, accessories... and letters. Brooke's eyes widened as Peyton knelt down and grabbed her bag.

"I'm sorry." She said as she shoved the clothes back into the bag. "I didn't mean to..." her voice faded away as she picked up a letter and glanced at the name on the front. Her name.

"No, Peyton...!" Brooke cried but it was too late. She watched as Peyton glanced at her uncertainly as she picked up another letter... and another, all bearing her name.

"Brooke..?" she said slowly as she realized that _all_ the letters had her name on them. She looked at Brooke, her face confused as she turned a letter over in her hand...and saw the tiny guitar drawn in the corner. The guitar that only one person she knew always drew. Peyton's eyes widened as she picked up another letter and another...and another all with tiny guitars drawn in the corner, all addressed to her. Her movements grew faster and stilted but she didn't stop until she'd picked them all up. Every single one.

Her face was pale and stunned as she stared at the thick bundle of envelopes in her hand, everyone of them bearing her name in the nonchalant scrawl that belonged to one person...the one person that held her heart in his hands. The one person who had taken over her thoughts throughout the entire summer.

Jake.

Jake hadn't forgotten her after all. She'd been on his mind as much as he'd been on hers. The mountain of letters that she clutched was evidence of that. He hadn't let her go.He hadn't broken her heart. Someone else entirely had done that. Someone who used to be her best-friend. She closed her eyes against the torrent of tears that started to come. But she steeled herself as she slowly looked up at Brooke.

Brooke's eyes were wide and her lips trembled as she stared at the silent girl in front of her.

"Peyton..." she whispered.

"You. Little. Bitch."

* * *

Lucas pulled into his driveway, letting his car idle for a moment before he turned it off. He lay back against his seat and closed his eyes.

_Don't think about her..._he thought to himself._Don't think about Haley..._But already he was picturing her face, the look in her eyes when they'd kissed in her room, and the glow on her face when they'd made love. He thought of the curve of her neck as they sat in the bath together that last time, and the feeling of her skin against his...

And the sound of her voice when she'd said that it was over.

He frowned against the overwhelming feeling of loss that threatened to shake his unsteady calm and climbed from his truck.

"It's done Lucas." he whispered to himself. "The sooner you get that..."

He left the rest unspoken as he started to walk to the door. He stopped when he suddenly noticed Brooke's car parked in the driveway in front of his. His thoughts had been so filled with Haley that he hadn't noticed the car until he was practically on top of it. He looked up at the house as he realized that Brooke was inside. He frowned trying to think of what he'd say to her. What he could say to make her feel better. To make things alright.He knew that she was really hurt and he didn't want to make it any worse but...that seemed to be his specialty. He frowned as he looked at the house. All he could do was tell her the truth. The _whole_ truth. Finally. He owed her that much.Taking a deep breath he opened the front door and walked in.

* * *

Peyton glared at Brooke, her eyes filled with barely contained rage.

"How long?" she asked quietly.

Tears rolled down Brooke's face as she looked into Peyton's eyes. "Peyton I--"

"How long, Brooke!" Peyton yelled. "How long have you been keeping Jake's letters from me?"

Brooke was crying. "I haven't been Peyton." she said shaking her head adamantly. "I mean I didn't keep them all from you. There was a mix-up at the post-office and they had them for several weeks and--"

Peyton's eyes widened. "Several _weeks_ ?" she said incredulously. "You've had these for several_ weeks_?"

Brooke shook her head. "No. No I didn't." she said quietly. "They came...they came on wednesday."

Peyton stared at Brooke stunned before slowly shaking her head. "Wow." she whispered. "I knew you were angry at me but I had no idea that you hated me."

Brooke frowned. "I don't hate you Peyton--"

Peyton scoffed. "Yeah, and Osama doesn't hate Americans." she said softly. She clutched the letters to her as she slowly stood to her feet staring at them with disbelief before looking at Brooke.

"You watched me cry B." she said, her voice breaking on her words as Brooke stood facing her. "You heard me cry into my pillow at night and you watched me wallow in my own misery and pain! You saw me doubt myself and Jake's feelings for me over and over again, everyday growing more and more depressed...and you _kept _these to yourself?"

Brooke was sobbing as she stared at her. "I know." she whispered. "I know that what I did was evil. But I was so _angry_! And I couldn't think straight! I kept on thinking about how you betrayed me and I couldn't see past it."

"You couldn't see past _what_ Brooke?" Peyton cried. "What did I do that was _so_ wrong, so--_horrible _that you would keep these from me for five whole days? For even a minute!How could you keep these knowing how much it killed me not knowing how Jake was or--or--_where_ he was?" Peyton's eyes were grave and crystal green in her pale face. "I kept a secret that was never my secret to tell, Brooke. That's what _I_ did. _You_ watched my heart slowly dying and you didn't say a damn word. Not one!" She shook her head. "How could you?" she whispered, the words barely making past her lips. "How could you do that to me?"

"I'm sorry Peyton." Brooke whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Peyton's eyes flew to her face. "You're..._sorry_?" she said incredulously. "You're sorry now? Now that I found out what a lying vindictive bitch you are, you're _sorry_?" She slowly walked over to Brooke until they were standing face to face. "You're sorry alright Brooke." she whispered. "You're a sorry,pathetic loser."

Brooke's eyes flashed angrily at her words." You're not the only one who got hurt in all this Peyton!"

Peyton laughed humorlessly. "Are you _kidding_ me?" she said. "All this started because you're a sore loser Brooke! This has nothing to do with me!I was brought into this unwillingly and because of that, I was made to pay for your hurt feelings!"

Brooke took a deep breath. "If you would just hear me out--let me explain--"

"Explain? Do you really think that anything you can say right now will explain any of this? Do you actually think that you can make any of this _better?"_

"No, she's a lot smarter than that." They heard a voice say from the doorway.

Both girls turned and stared as Lucas slowly walked into the room, his eyes dark as they settled on Brooke.

He shook his head slowly, his eyes narrowed in confusion as he stared at his ex-girlfriend. "I've been listening." he said quietly. "But I'm not sure that I heard right." His eyes were sad and small in his face. "Because the Brooke that I know would never hurt her best-friend that way."

Brooke's eyes flashed at him. "And the Lucas that I knew would never hurt me the way that you did but hey--I'm hurting! I guess we were both wrong about each other."

Lucas frowned. "But _I_ did that to you Brooke! _I _hurt you!" he said softly."That had nothing to do with Peyton.Why would you keep Jake's letters from her? I heard you say you were angry and I know you're angry with me..." his voice faded away. "Why were you angry at _her_?"

Brooke's glare faded slightly as she looked at Peyton who was smiling tightly. A silent communication seemed to pass between them, deepening Lucas confusion further. When he'd walked into the house and heard the two girls arguing, he'd assumed that it had to do with Brooke's recent revelations about his and Haley's relationship and Peyton's early knowledge of it. But as he'd neared the room, he'd heard what it was really about. He'd been shocked but it had been overshadowed by his confusion. He'd heard Brooke admit that she'd had the letters since wednesday--two whole days before she'd found out the truth. What had made her so angry that she'd kept Peyton's letters to herself? They'd all seen the pain that Peyton had endured since Jake left again, how depressed and angry not hearing from him had made her. Brooke had had the opportunity to change that _days _ago...and she hadn't. And that didn't make sense at all.

Lucas watched as Brooke stared at Peyton who returned the look with a tight smile.

"So..." she said slowly. "Are you going to tell him? Or am I?"

Lucas frowned. "Tell me what?"

Brooke bit her lip. "Maybe now's not the right time--"

Peyton laughed bitterly."Not the right time?" she scoffed. "Not the right _time_?" She looked at Lucas, shaking her head incredulously. "_Now_ she worries about timing."

She chuckled and looked at Brooke. "Tell me Brooke, have you always been this selfish or is this a recent development?"

Brooke closed her eyes briefly. "Peyton." she said finally looking at her former friend."I know you don't believe this," she said slowly " but I _am_ really sorry and if I could do this all over again I wouldn't keep your letters from you." Her eyes filled with tears. "Because I do love you and I wish...I wish that none of this had ever happened. I wish--"

"Save it." Peyton said coldly. She leaned towards Brooke until they were looking right into each other's eyes and shook her head. "I've finally seen you Brooke." she whispered. " The _real _you and everything you're capable of. _Everything._" she said meaningfully.

Tears streamed down Brooke's face but she didn't step back as Peyton's eyes bored into hers. "I've seen your insides Brooke." Peyton continued." And they are dark and twisted and ugly and I don't want to be apart of it anymore." Her voice broke on her words but her expression never changed. "You and I are no longer friends." she whispered. "I don't want to see you or hear you--or even be in the same _room _as you ever again! I hate what you've done---to all of us and I pity the poor idiot who tries to be your friend next. Because you don't know the meaning of the word."

She clutched the letters to her chest and turned to leave. But she stopped and slowly turned back around.

"Don't be here when I get back." she said quietly. Then she turned and walked out of the room.

"Peyton..." Lucas called after her but she didn't stop and Lucas slowly looked at Brooke.

She was shaking and he felt his heart go out to her as she put her arms around herself, but he knew that he needed to go after Peyton. Brooke met his eyes, her own filled with a deep sorrow, but they hardened as they saw the pity in his.

"Go after her." she said tightly. "We both know that's what you want to do. God knows you're good at it."

Lucas frowned. "Brooke--"

"Go Lucas!" she yelled. "Just go!"

Lucas looked at her, his sad eyes saying more than his mouth could say. Then he left the room.

Brooke waited until she heard the front door screen slam shut behind him before she sank to the bed. Then she covered her face and cried.

* * *

Lucas hurried around the side of the house to the back where Peyton was already starting her car.

"Peyton!" he said, running to the passenger side. "Peyton,wait!"

"For what?" Peyton cried, her eyes small and angry. "For you to convince me to go back in there and talk to that--that spiteful little bitch!" She shook her head. "No, not gonna do it Scott."

Lucas tried to open the passenger side door but it was locked." No, I wasn't Peyton." he said taking a deep breath. "I just think that you shouldn't go driving off right now with the way that you're feeling. Maybe you should wait and calm down first--"

"Calm down?" Peyton said incredulously. "Lucas this _is_ calm! Brooke's lucky I didn't lay a Laila Ali on her ass!"

Lucas sighed. "Come on Peyton, we both know that this isn't Brooke. Something must be wrong! Something must have really set her off for her to do something like this--"

"Oh something set her off all right! Something that little Ms.Thief has kept hidden way too long!"

"What?" Lucas asked confused.

Peyton stared at him for a brief moment. Then she shook her head. "I can't." she said slowly. "I can't do this right now Lucas. I have to get away,okay? I have to be alone for a little while. To read Jake's letters---to get my head together..." she looked at him. "I'll call you okay?"

She threw her car in reverse and started to back out but Lucas held on.

"Peyton, seriously you shouldn't be driving right now, you're all over the place!Let me take you somewhere. I'll drop you off and pick you up--you can be all by yourself--"

Peyton shook her head. "No Lucas! Just leave me alone okay? I'll be fine! I promise."

She pressed the accelerator and shot out of the driveway her eyes on the letters sitting on the passenger seat beside her. Her face softened as she gazed at a tiny guitar on a letter.

_Jake..._she thought as she reached for the top one. It slid to the floor and she bent over to pick it up.

So she didn't see the truck that sped down the street behind her as she continued to back out of the driveway completely unaware.

But Lucas did. Everything suddenly seemed to happen in slow motion as her car continued to slide back into oblivion. Lucas eyes widened as he saw the truck driver's startled expression before he grabbed the wheel and tried to swerve around Peyton's car but it it was too late. The truck plowed right into it, crashing against the shiny black exterior and bending it in two like it was little more than a tin can.

"Peyton!" Lucas cried, his hands in his hair as he helplessly watched her car roll over and over again, finally pausing on it's side before it fell upside down into the ditch at the side of the road.

Lucas ran towards the car, calling her name as smoke and flames enveloped the car, clouding it from view. He had almost reached it when he was suddenly knocked over and thrown to the ground. He looked up to see the man who had been driving the truck glaring down at him. There was an ugly gash on the side of his head but other than that he seemed fine and Lucas pushed against him as he tried to get to his feet.

"Stop!" the man said angrily. "Are you crazy man? That thing's about to blow, don't you smell the gas in the air?"

Lucas eyes widened as he looked at Peyton's smashed car. "My friend's in there, I need to get her out--"

"I'm sorry dude but there's no way that she survived that, no way!" he said quickly standing to his feet and pulling Lucas with him away from the building flames. "Come on, we need to get back--"

"No--"

"Peyton...?"

Lucas looked up to see Brooke running towards them. She looked at the crushed car and her eyes widened. They slowly turned to meet Lucas steel-blue stare.

"Lucas...where's Peyton?" she asked slowly. Lucas didn't answer her and her mouth fell open as she looked at the burning car.

"Peyton!" she screamed starting for the vehicle but Lucas held her back.

"Brook no--"

"Come on, we have to get back, it's about to blow!" the man said.

Brooke struggled against Lucas. "Lucas no, we have to save her! We have to get Peyton out of there. We have too--"

Her words were interrupted as the car suddenly exploded in a violent blast that knocked them all off their feet. Lucas head collided with the pavement as he felt the heat expand around them.

"Peyton! Peyton, noooo!" Her heard Brooke scream beside him as the darkness started to come but he couldn't move.

He could only blink at the sight of Peyton's pride and joy lighting the night sky as his eyes slowly closed.

"Peyton..." he whispered.

Then everything was silent.


	45. Go On And Cry Now

**Hi all! I really loved your reactions to chapter 44! I hope this chapter drops some jaws too ;)**

Go On And Cry Now  


Somewhere, the theme song from _Jaws _was playing.

Nathan heard it clearly and a vaguely conscious part of him realized that it was his cell phone but for the life of him, he couldn't seem to open his eyes. Mostly because he didn't want too. The Jaws theme was Brooke's ring and he _definitely_ didn't want to talk to her. Ever.

And suddenly the ringing stopped.

Stretching slowly he opened one eye and then another, blinking slowly before glancing at his alarm clock. Two am? It was two o'clock in the morning? Why was Brooke calling him at two in the morning? Didn't she realize that her games were over? He wanted to talk to her as much as he wanted to talk to a hug-happy leper...with B.O! And two am? The only person who was crazy enough to call him that early was Tim. Tim always used to call him at crazy hours just to share some random piece of information that didn't make any sense and was a complete waste of time. He hadn't done it in awhile though. Not since Haley answered his phone for him once and lectured Tim on the importance of sleep for over an hour. Yeah, that had pretty much been the last time Tim had ever called him at such an ungodly hour...back when Nate and Haley were still married...

Nathan froze as he suddenly became aware of where he was. He slowly surveyed the room that he'd fallen asleep in and his eyes widened as the events of the previous night slowly faded into his thoughts. He was in Haley's room. He'd fallen asleep there...in Haley's bed.

Quickly, the events of the night ran through his mind like a bright kaleidoscope, speeding around inside his head in a flash of color and light. Finding Haley crying, hearing that it was over between her and Lucas, holding her, kissing her...lying down beside her--

He snapped back to the present and slowly turned to survey the sleeping girl beside him. She was sleeping peacefully, her hair draped across her cheek and he gently brushed it behind her ear causing her to stir in her sleep. He caressed her cheek as she slowly opened her eyes and blinked at him, smiling sleepily.

"Hey you." she whispered.

"Hey yourself." he said turning to face her.

"Is it time to get up already?" she groaned. "I'm exhausted!"

Nathan grinned at her. "Me too." he said. "I guess last night was more draining than either of us realized huh?"

A slight blush tinged Haley's cheeks as she remembered the past night's events. "Yeah I...I guess so."

They lay staring at each other for a long moment, both of them completely comfortable, neither of them breaking the intimate contact.

"Nathan," Haley suddenly said. His eyes widened questioningly. "I want you to know...what we shared last night was very special to me...I won't ever forget it."

Nathan smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes. What they had shared only hours before _had _been very special...except that he hadn't told her what he knew. With all that they had shared, he still hadn't told her the _whole_ truth.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing again. The _Jaws _theme.

Brooke.

He sighed loudly, his forehead marred by a deep frown.Brooke was trying even harder than usual to get a hold of him and though his curiousity was piqued, he still didn't want to talk to her. He wasn't sure that he'd ever want to hear anything that she had to say to him again. He looked at Haley who laughed at his expression.

"Telemarketer?" she joked.

He smiled slightly. "Worse...cheerleader."

Haley giggled. "Wow, those girls just can't seem to leave you alone, can they!"

Nathan shrugged. "Hey, can you blame them?"

Haley laughed, socking him in the arm and he stared at her, returning her smile eventhough he suddenly didn't feel as at peace as he previously had. He and Haley had just shared so much. They'd been more intimate than at any other time in their relationship--including their marriage! And yet...he'd still held back possibly the most important thing that he could have shared with her.

_It's not too late..._a voice inside whispered. _She's right here beside you, watching you, ready to listen, smiling..._and he didn't want that smile to fade...But he didn't want to have any secrets from her. And after the night before, they really didn't. Except for the truth behind her and Lucas break-up. Or at least the partial truth. He smiled as she pinched his nose.

"Hey..." she teased. "Where are you? Your body's here but you're a million miles away." She lifted her head and leaned it in her hand. "What are you thinking about?"

Nathan looked at her, his heart thudding against his ribcage. He'd decided before she'd even asked the question.

He was going to tell her.

He was going to tell her everything he knew. He took a deep breath and sat up.

"I need to talk to you about something." he said quietly. Hearing his serious tone, Haley slowly sat up and ran a hand through her tangles waves.

"Oh oh..." she said quietly facing him. "This doesn't sound like it's going to be too fun." She sighed. "Okay...what's up?"

Nathan took a deep breath. "I didn't want to tell you this." He said quietly. "I guess I thought that I would lose you or that you'd be angry with me..." he shook his head." I don't know what I thought..."

Haley frowned. "Nathan, you'll never lose me. Never again. I promise."

Nathan looked at her. "I know that now." he smiled. "I know that...after last night."

Haley smiled and took his hand and he stared down at their clasped hands before looking at her

He took another deep breath. "I have to tell you something about Brooke...and Lucas."

Haley's smile faded. She let go of his hand. "What?" she whispered uncertainly.Then she shook her head quickly. "No, it doesn't matter. You don't have to tell me anything about those two."

Nathan took her hand and grasped it between both of his. "Haley, just hear me out,okay? You need to hear what I have to say."

Haley sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Nathan I'm not sure I ever want to hear about anything that has to do with Lucas _or_ Brooke again."

Nathan nodded. "You'll want to hear this Hales." he said quietly. "You will, I promise." He took a deep breath."I found out from Peyton that---"

"Peyton?" Haley frowned. "I'm not sure that I want to hear anything that _she_ has to say either! And you'll probably feel the same way after I tell you what she did--"

"Haley!" Nathan said firmly. "You have to listen to me. I have to tell you this and it's going to be hard so I need you to let me say it."

Haley frowned as she gripped his hands. This was serious, she could see it in his eyes. A small ring of apprehension worked it's way around her midsection.

"Okay Nate..." she said softly. "What is it? Tell me..."

Nathan looked into her eyes."It wasn't Lucas fault. What he did with Brooke---it wasn't completely his fault."

Haley stared at him stunned into silence for a brief moment. Then what he said slowly began to register and her frown deepened. "What did you just say to me?" she asked incredulously.

Nathan shook his head. "Peyton told me that somehow...someway...Brooke--"

Suddenly _Jaws_ blasted from his phone again. He tried to ignore it and continue.

"Peyton said that he didn't know what he was doing." he said over the music. "She said that he was innocent--"

"Nathan." Haley suddenly interrupted him.

"I'm not sure how but Peyton was very sure and--"

"Nathan..."

"She was so _convinced _and she--"

"Nathan!"

"What?"

"Answer your phone. There's only so much of the_ Jaws _theme that I can take. Especially right now."

Nathan sighed. He could hear from her tone that she was upset which was to be expected but she still didn't know the whole stoy. When he told her everything...he let his thought fade as he flipped open the phone.

"Make it quick."

"Nathan!" Brooke cried in a choked voice.

Nathan frowned at the sound in her voice. "Brooke? Brooke, what's wrong?" he asked quickly. He saw Haley look up at him.

On the other line Brooke suddenly broke down into a hysterical fit of sobs and Nathan felt his heartbeat increase. "Brooke?" he called worriedly. "Brooke, what happened?"

Suddenly another voice came on the line. He tensed as he suddenly heard Lucas speak and he listened closely before muttering a quick goodbye and jumping off the bed.

Haley stared at him, her eyes large and doe-like in her face."Nathan, what happened?" she said anxiously. "What's wrong?"

Nathan pulled on a clean shirt before turning to face her.

"That was Lucas. He didn't give me any details, he just said to get to hospital, quick..." His eyes were huge and scared. "It's Peyton.There's been an accident and they... they don't expect her to make it through the night."

* * *

Thrown from her car. 

Peyton had been thrown from her car...

Lucas shook his head, the thought going over and over in his mind as he stared at nothing. His head was bandaged from the cut and the mild concussion he'd suffered when the blast from Peyton's car had thrown him to the ground...

But he didn't feel anything.

He didn't feel the faint sting of the antiseptic or the dull ache of the concussion as it thudded through his head--he didn't even feel the soreness in his body from being thrown to the ground like a ragdoll--first by the truck-driver and them from the blast. He felt nothing as he thought about Peyton's lifeless body lying several feet away from the fire that had almost taken her life. He'd heard the paramedics talking about how extremely lucky she'd been and how not wearing her seatbelt had actually worked in her favor since she would have been burned alive had she been belted in...

Lucas felt his stomach heave and he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths until it settled down. He heard a stifled sob close-by and glanced down the row of seats beside him to where Brooke sat, holding herself as she rocked back and forth in the uncomfortable chair. He'd tried to sit beside her, to hold her and comfort her but she'd pulled away from him and hit at him yelling that it was all his fault, that if Peyton died, he was to blame.

If Peyton died...

He felt an intense pressure behind his eyes but he didn't shed a tear, not one. He hadn't cried yet. He couldn't. He hadn't cried out when the paramedics quickly loaded him in the ambulance, jostling his body painfully or when the doctor had probbed and prodded at his sore limbs until he was sure that nothing was broken. He hadn't even gasped when an orderly accidentally grabbed his sprained wrist as he was helping him out of a room. No, he hadn't shed a single tear. He couldn't. For the life of him no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't cry.

He stared at Brooke feeling both helpless and envious of her tears all at once. He wanted to do something--anything to make her feel better. But how could he when she wouldn't let him get any closer than the four bucket searts seperating them?

"Brooke..." he tried again. "Do you want something? I could get you a drink or a magazine or _something_--"

"A magazine?" Brooke spat at him bitterly, her eyes red-rimmed and distraught in her pale face. "Do you actually think that I could read Cosmo right now while my best-friend lies inside of that room fighting for her _life_?"

Tears ran down her cheeks as she shook her head slowly. "No thanks Lucas." she said bitingly. "But please, feel free to get _yourself_ a drink. I'll wait here and see if my friend is going to live or die--"

"Don't say that!" Lucas said firmly staring at her unflinchingly. "Peyton isn't going to die! She's going to get through her operation and heal and get better--"

"On what planet were you on exactly when the paramedics rushed Peyton through here?" Brooke cried. "They said that Peyton was barely hanging on Lucas--that she was in critical condition! There is nothing about what they said that suggests Peyton is going to be okay, so quit lying to yourself! And quit lying to me!"

Lucas stared at her, his eyes mirrowing the pain in hers and she looked away quickly. There was no way that she would allow herself to feel pity for him--no way! The only reason they were sitting in that dank, miserable hospital was _because_ of Lucas. If he hadn't lied in the first place--if he'd only told her the truth!

Brooke's anger rose inside of her, furious and irrational and misplaced...before suddenly fading and wilting as she stared at the wall in front of her. No Brooke, she thought silently. This is no more Lucas' fault than it is yours. What he did didn't cause the accident any more than what you did. Peyton is lying in that room because _you_ are a lying scheming bitch who forgot how to be a friend, and that is the only reason why! This is all _your_ fault! If Peyton dies, you're the one to blame. No one else, just you! Just you...

Brooke covered her face as she began to cry in earnest, her body shaking with every sob. Lucas felt his heart wrench inside his chest at the sight.

"Brooke..." he said softly.

Ever so slowly he inched closer to her until only one seat sepereated them and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. She tensed at his touch, but she slowly grew limp as the sobs came harder and harder shaking her slight frame. Lucas moved beside her and tentatively put his arms around her and Brooke sat rigidly beside him...until something melted inside of her and she couldn't hide behind the wall of pain that she'd built around herself anymore. Suddenly everything was scary and real and she and Lucas were two friends sharing a grief that was more than only one of them could bare alone. She couldn't do it alone. She slowly rested her head against his shoulder, turning until he was holding her completetly, supporting her weight with his body. Lucas held her closer, tighter, whispering soothing words as her tears fell.

"It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay Brooke." he said softly. "Don't worry. Peyton's a fighter, you know she is! She'll make it through this.She will..."

They were both wrapped up in their fear and sadness and so they didn't see Nathan and Haley rush in through the Emergency Room doors and hurry towards them, slowing down as they drew closer. They were completely lost in the possibilty of losing their friend and they held on to each other, Brooke's face covered in tears, Lucas jaw tightening and releasing over and over again.

Nathan watched them for a moment before glancing at Haley who stood silently beside him. Her face was slightly flushed from the tears she'd cried on their way to the hospital but her eyes held more than just the pain of the thought of their seriously injured friend. There was another pain there, a deeper hurt that he'd seen the night before, a shattering that had been there since the ugly encounter between her and Lucas on the night of TRIC's re-opening. He frowned as he reached for her hand and she looked at him smiling tearfully as he wove their fingers together.

Lucas looked up, his eyes registering surprise as he suddenly noticed them standing there.He stared at Haley's pale face.

"Haley..." he said quietly, her name fading from his lips.

Haley stared at him wordlessly, her eyes travelling from his arms around Brooke to her head on his shoulder but she didn't say anything.She looked at Nathan helplessly and he cleared his throat.

"What happened?" he asked quickly.

Lucas's eyes were on Haley. "Peyton was backing out of the driveway. She didn't see the truck coming and he couldn't stop and he..." his voice faded away and he swallowed with difficulty. "Her car flipped and she was thrown from it before it exploded--"

"_Exploded?_" Nathan said shocked.

Brooke nodded listlessly.She looked at Haley who had wrapped her arms around herself and was shaking violently.

"Haley..." she said with concern.

Haley looked at her woodenly. "Where is she now?" she asked quickly avoiding Brooke's tentative gaze.

"She's in surgery." Lucas said. "They've been in there for over an hour." He winced as he straightened his arm and Haley saw his bandaged wrist.

"What happened?" she gasped, involuntarily stepping towards him. Nathan glanced at her as Lucas gingerly held his injured hand away from his body.

"I sprained it. It's no big deal. Peyton has it a whole lot worse." Haley glanced at his wrist, about to ask him more when Brooke gasped.

"I think that's her surgeon." she whispered anxiously. All their attention turned towards a grave-faced man who approached them, an air of expectancy hovering around them as he stopped in front of them.

He looked to be in his late forties and as he pulled off his surgical hair-cover, his peppered gray hair gave him an air of authority softened only by the warm deep gray of his eyes.There was something both likable and intimidating about him, but right then, intimidation was winning the battle.

Lucas and Brooke rose to meet him as he slowly looked at each of them..

"Hello, I'm Dr. Preston." he said formally. "Who here is a member of Ms. Sawyers family?" he asked slightly confused as he glanced at them.

All four looked at each other briefly before looking back at him.

"We all are." They said simultaneously.

Dr. Preston smiled gently, nodding briefly before taking a deep breath and Haley bit her lip as she waited impatiently. It's not good news, she thought as she watched him. Whatever he's about to say, it's not good news...

Nathan lifted his chin, his eyes steady and prepared, waiting for whatever the doctor was about to say. Suddenly an image of Peyton at fifteen when they first officially started dating ran through his thoughts. Her smile, her hair shimmering in the sun,the way she laughed...He felt his eyes begin to water. She's hurt too bad, he thought silently.He's going to tell us that she was hurt too bad...

Brooke had grabbed a hold of Lucas hand as soon as the doctor had approached and she squeezed tightly with each passing second. She closed her eyes briefly trying to prepare herself for what she knew would be horrible news. Please, she prayed silently, just give me a chance to make things right. If you let Peyton live, I will! I swear I will! She opened her eyes slowly, her heartbeat loud in her ears. I promise, just please let her live! Please...

Lucas stared at the doctor, his eyes still dry and focused as he waited to hear the words that he'd already mentally prepared himself to hear. No Peyton, you're not gone, he thought silently. It's not your time to go. You can't go.

The surgeon surveyed the four anxiously awaiting teens and took a deep breath hesitating as he watched the silent desperation mirrored on each of their faces.

"Are your parents on their way?" he suddenly asked. "Peyton's parents?"

"Peyton's mom is dead." Brooke said in a monotone voice.

"And her father's away on a boat somewhere..." Haley added.

"And all of our parents are otherwise occupied. "Nathan said quietly."Or dead."

Dr. Preston's eyes widened slightly and Lucas sighed.

"Listen doctor." he said softly. "We're all we've got. We're all Peyton's got." They all nodded slowly in agreement and Lucas stared at the doctor intently, willing him to listen. "Please just tell us how Peyton is." His eyes were pleading. "Please."

The doctor nodded slowly as if he'd finally come to a decision. " Ms. Sawyer..." he paused. "_Peyton_...made it out of surgery. We've stopped her internal bleeding and aside from a broken leg and a cracked rib, she's in one piece."

Nathan breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Thank God!..."

Lucas eyes widened. "You mean she's okay? She's really _okay_?"

Brooke smiled slowly. "Is she talking? Can we see her, we _really_ want to see her!"

But Haley was silent. She was watching the doctors expression and despite his good news, it was way too grim. Something was wrong. She stepped forward.

"What else?" she asked slowly. "What haven't you told us yet?"

The surgeon looked into her eyes, his own dark and grave. "Although Peyton is out of surgery, she's not out of the woods yet. There were complications. Most surgery comes with possible complications but--"

"What do you mean, _complications_?" Brooke asked slowly.

He looked at her. "What I mean is...Peyton is in a coma. When she was thrown from the car, she hit her head severely causing a lot of bleeding inside her head."

"Oh God!" Brooke cried.

"We were able to relieve the pressure and stop the bleeding but..." His eyes were grave as he surveyed the small group."The trauma to her brain was extensive."

Nathan exhaled loudly as Haley covered her face. He tried to put his arms around her but she wouldn't let him.

"Dr. Preston." Lucas said slowly. "Will Peyton recover from this? Will she...will she wake up?"

The surgeon didn't need to answer. The sad look on his face, answered all their questions without him saying a word. But he did say something. "There's a slight chance..." he offered but his voice held no hope.

Suddenly a voice sounded over the loudspeaker summoming the doctor to a code blue on the 4th floor.

"Peyton can't have any visitors tonight but she's being moved to a personal room." he said quickly as he started away. "She'll be comfortable there. If you have any questions, contact my office and I'll be happy to answer them. I'm sorry, I'm--" he paused and looked at them. "I'm sorry." he said sincerely. Then he turned and rushed away.

The four of them stood frozen, each of them unable to move as they stood silently trying to comprehend what they'd just heard.

Haley looked up just as Lucas did and their eyes met and locked. She saw the bewildered confusion in his eyes as he tried to make sense of what they'd all just been told, and she saw the deep pain hovering around the edges trying to let itself out, not sure how. She saw it all.

And it broke something inside of her.

And suddenly they weren't the heart-broken lovers that they'd become that summer, or the angry exes that hurt each other with every look and every word. Suddenly none of that mattered or existed or _was_...They were just Haley and Lucas. Best-friends since they were children running around outdoors, trying to beat each other in races, hiding in Lucas closet with stolen cookies from his mom's cafe, holding hands in the dark when it still didn't mean more than that. They were each other's better half and right then, he needed to feel better...and she needed him.

Without a word, she walked over and put her arms around him, holding him tightly. He froze startled at first...and then he put his arms around her and held her back. And something inside of him melted then and broke away and he started to cry as she held him tighter and tighter until they could feel each other's heartbeat. Tears rolled down both their faces, their cries rocking each other's bodies as they held each other up...but they still held on, forgetting about everything but that moment and that feeling of comfort that only they could evoke in one another. And they held each other tighter...

And Nathan watched them, tears in his eyes for reasons other than the tragedy they were all experiencing. He stared at Haley and Lucas, seeing their bond, their connection, unable to avoid or ignore it any longer even in his grief. And Brooke...

Brooke fainted.


	46. What Dreams May Come

**Thank you all for your input! Henka, it was awesome to hear from you! Glad you're still reading:)**

What Dreams May Come

"Broo_oke..._...Broo_oke_..."

Brooke turned around. Someone was calling her but she couldn't see who it was.

"Broo_oke_...Broo_oke_..."

"Yes?" she called out. "I'm here..."

Her voice echoed around her and she frowned because eventhough she knew who she was, she didn't quite sound like herself. Puzzled, she turned and looked at her reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall. It _was_ her...but she was nine years old again just the way she remembered herself to be. She frowned confused as the voice called her name again.

And suddenly she knew who it was.

"Peyton?" she called quickly. "Peyton, where are you?"

She whirled around and glanced at the furniture, recognizing it as her old bedroom set. She'd vehemently hated the unicorn themed-room that her mom had hired a top decorater to create. Even back then, it had seemed so corny and too girly for her.But her mother had insisted and so her complaints went unheeded...as usual. She ripped her eyes away from the nightmare of pink around her and focused on the bedroom door anxiously expecting her friend to run in. But she didn't.

Brooke felt her heartbeat increase and grow louder. "Peyton, where are you?" she cried. "Please come out! I'm scared, I can't find you!"

For a moment there was no sound. Then Peyton stuck her head out from behind Brooke's wardrobe closet and Brooke's face broke into a slow,huge smile. Suddenly everything became familiar to her. They were in her old house playing hide-and-seek. Her and Peyton used to love to play that game at her house because it had so many rooms.In fact, Peyton had tried to convince her that they should make it a ritual and play it every weekend.

Peyton...

She laughed with excitement as she ran to her friend.

"Peyton, you're okay!" she said grabbing her and hugging her tightly. "You're okay!I thought you were...I thought you were hurt!"  
Peyton frowned puzzled. "Of course I'm okay, silly! It's only hide-and-seek! Now play right, you're supposed to find _me_ okay? Now I'm going to go hide, so count!"

She pushed the girl towards the stairs but Brooke whirled around. Suddenly she was scared. She knew that she was dreaming but she felt like she shouldn't let Peyton go and hide. Something would happen, she just knew it! Somehow she needed to convince her to stay close. She grabbed her friends hands.

"Peyton, you can't hide."She said breathlessly." Come on, let's go play in my mom's make-up--"

"No!" Peyton complained." We did that last time and you said I could choose our game this time remember?" She put her hands on her non-existent hips and Brooke smiled with difficulty.

"I know but how about we do that some other time,okay?" she asked. "You can't hide today Peyton,it's not safe! Something might happen to you!"

"Nothing's going to happen to me scaredy-cat! You just don't want to count. This is all about you--it always is!"

Brooke frowned at the mature words coming out of her young friend and Peyton softened them with a smile.

"Come on!" She said turning her friend towards the stairs again. "Everything's going to be okay."

Her voice was reassuring and it sounded older and more mature...and familiar. Brooke whirled around to face her and looked into her eyes and she saw...a wisdom there. A wisdon much older than each of them were. But before she could say anything, Peyton turned her around again.

"Now go and count! Hurry, time's running out!" She pushed her friend towards the stairs but Brooke turned back around.

"Wait Peyton, no--" she began but Peyton was already gone. Her eyes widened as she looked around her at the suddenly empty room. Not only was Peyton gone, so was her furniture and the walls and--everything! Brooke was standing in an endless room of...nothingness.Suddenly she heard laughter behind her.She turned around quickly.

"Peyton?" she called.

"I'm here Brooke!" she heard Peyton call. "Come and find me!"

"Peyton!" she yelled running towards the sound of her voice. It felt like she was running in place but she kept on moving. "Peyton, where are you?" she called desperately. "Please, answer me! I've got to find you!"

"I'm here Brooke." she heard Peyton's voice call. But it was softer somehow and fainter. Peyton was fading away.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized that her friend was getting farther and farther away as she ran and she stopped and dropped to her knees.

"Peyton!" she cried. "Come back, _please_ come back! I'm sorry! I'm _so_ sorry! Please come back, Peyton!"

"I'm here Brooke." she heard Peyton's voice echo in the breeze from even farther away. "Come and find me, I'm here..."

"Peyton." she whispered.But only silence greeted her. Silence and a faint, brisk wind. And as she listened closely, it sounded like it was calling her name too.

"Brooke!"

She blinked as her eyes slowly began to close. She was suddenly so tired and weak...and she still had to find Peyton. But she needed to rest.She would just lie down for a moment. Just a moment...

"Brooke!" The wind called her."Brooke, can you hear me?"

And it was odd because the wind sounded familiar. The wind sounded like someone she knew.She tried to open her eyes but they felt like bags of sand were holding them down.

But then she felt something cold touch her forehead and she gasped, lifting herself from the floor of the endless nothingness and slowly opening her eyes.

Except that she wasn't nowhere, she was in her room at Lucas's house. And the wind that had been calling her name was Haley.

"Brooke!" Haley cried as she blinked up at her. "Oh, thank God! Can you hear me?"

Brooke stared at her, trying to remember where she was and what she was doing.Haley's frown deepened at Brooke blank stare.

"Brooke, do you know who I am?" she asked slowly

Brooke squinted at her. She opened her mouth to speak but her tongue felt like a dried-out piece of cotten. "Water..." she managed to gasp.

Haley quickly reached for a glass of water on the side bureau as she peered at Brooke with concern. "Brooke, do you know who I am?" she repeated impatiently. "Do you know where you are?"

Brooke slowly took a sip of water and handed it back to here. "Thank you..." she whispered."...Tutor girl..."

Haley stared at her for a brief moment before her worried frown settled into a relieved smile.

"I'm glad you're okay." she said quietly,her voice suddenly guarded and wary.

Brooke closed her eyes as everything they'd been through over the last several weeks flew through her mind. All the lies and the hurt...and her part in it. She bit her lip as she watched Haley stand up and look around the room ackwardly.

"The guys went out to get you some medicine." she said slowly. "Dr.Preston said that you'd be waking up with one hell of a migraine."

Even as she said the words, Brooke felt her head start to throb intensely. She flinched as she squinted up at Haley.

"What...happened? How did I get back here?" she asked.

Haley's concerned frown returned as Brooke reached for her head. "You fainted--at the hospital. Dr.Preston said that it was a natural reaction to the..."she looked away." To the news we got." Her voice broke and she cleared her throat and continued."The guys brought you back here and left to get you some medicine. They also went to Peyton's house to see if they could find some information on where her dad is. So we can get in touch with him and...and tell him what's happened..."

Her voice faded away and Brooke felt her eyes fill with tears as she watched Haley try to keep her calm. She was losing the battle quickly and Brooke's heart went out to her.As she stared at the girl she had vowed to hate forever, her throat constricted. Nothing else mattered anymore, she suddenly realized. All the hurt that they'd inflicted on each other,all the heartache--none of it mattered anymore. Peyton was in a coma and she might never wake up. And that was more important than everything they'd been through. Brooke flinched as a shockwave of pain shot through her head but she swallowed against the lump in her throat and stared at Haley determinedly. She had to tell her that she was sorry. She had to tell her that...and everything else.

"Haley..." she whispered.

She was interrupted as Nathan and Lucas suddenly rushed into the room. Haley looked from one to the other, her eyes anxious and filed with hope.

"Did you...?"

Nathan took her hand. "We did. We got in touch with him. He was at a port in Mexico and he's taking the first flight in as soon as he can book it."

"Thank God!" Haley said hugging him tightly, her face filled with relief and some peace.

But not much, Brooke noted as she watched them. Not much at all. She'd give her some. She opened her mouth but Lucas was suddenly at her side, a small vial of pills in his hand.

"How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

Brooke stared at him. "Like my head got very acquainted with a sterilized floor." she murmured reaching for her forehead.

Lucas brushed her bangs from her eyes gently and she felt her eyes fill with tears again as their eyes met. He'll hate me, she thought suddenly as he smiled at her. He'll hate me for sure when I tell them. But she was going too. She'd decided that the moment she'd woken up and looked into Haley's anguished eyes and seen...love. An immense love for her despite evrything. A love and a deep hurt that darkened her eyes making them black instead of the warm chocolate-brown that Brooke had always secretly envied. She was going to put an end to all the secrets and lies that had inadvertly put her best-friend in a hospital bed and she was going to do it now.

_If_ they'd ever let her...

Even as she was lying deep in thought, all three of them were hovering around her like she was a sickly child. Lucas had taken two of the pills from the vial and was trying to give them to her with a glass of water, Haley was fixing her blanket around her and Nathan was adjusting the pillows behind her head.

She stared at them.

"Guys, I--"

"Wait Brooke you need to take these." Lucas interrupted her.

"But I---"

"No buts." he said calmly. "Dr. Preston said to give you two as soon as you wake up so..."

He raised his eyebrows meaningfully and handed her the pills and the glass and she grudgingly reached for them.

"Okay..." she said slowly. "but then I need to talk to you about something.I need to talk to all of you."

Behind her, Nate tensed as he looked at her. His thoughts went to his conversation with Peyton the previous day before fading into the night he'd spent with Haley and he frowned deeply. He was sure that he knew what Brooke was going to tell them and a big part of him knew that it was past time for her to do so. But another part of him, the part that had watched Haley sleep, _that _part of him wanted to scoop Haley up and rush her from the room. But he didn't. And he wouldn't. It was time.

He took a deep breath and stood back, his eyes meeting Brooke's as he walked to Haley's side and took her hand. Haley smiled up at him and squeezed his hand but his eyes were on Brooke as they stared at each other in silent communication. There was an acceptance in his eyes that was breaking her heart but along with it was understanding and silent encouragement and...and forgiveness. Nathan forgave her.

Tears spilled over onto Brooke's cheeks as she looked at him and Lucas stood and took her hand.

"It's going to be okay Brooke." he said with concern. "Dr. Preston said that the pills were very strong and fast-acting. The pain should be gone in a minute."

And even as he said it, the pain was fading away and numbness was rushing in to replace it. Numbness and a sudden calm that she hadn't felt in a long while. Brooke felt every part of her body start to relax as time suddenly started to freeze and slow down. She felt strangely light and peaceful. And sleepy...

"I feel...very sleepy all of a sudden." she whispered as her eyelids began to drift shut. "What was in those...those pills?"

"The pills have Diphenhydramine in them Brooke." Haley said softly. Her voice sounded like it was coming from very far away as Brooke struggled to open her eyes. "It's a sleep aid. It's going to help you sleep,okay?"

"But I have too..." her voice was fading fast, as the overwhelming urge to sleep overcame her. "I have to tell you something--"

"And you will." Lucas said quietly. "When you wake you. I'll be here."

Brooke started to give in to the rushing tide of relaxing that swept through her body but not before she opened her eyes one last time.

"Haley, can you stay too?" she whispered."Please?"

Haley stared at her startled by the request. She glanced at Nathan before nodding slowly."Sure..." she said uncertainly. "I'll...I'll stay."

Brooke smiled softly, closing her eyes as she drifted into a peaceful haze. "Thank you..." she whispered, her voice fading with her words.

Haley, Lucas, and Nathan watched her for a moment as she fell asleep, the look on her face more peaceful than any of them had ever seen her. They were each wrapped up in their own thoughts, their minds filled with the early mornings events. It was only five o'clock in the morning but they were all physically and mentally exhausted. Haley turned and looked at Nathan.

"Well, I guess I'm staying here..." she said softly. She looked up suddenly as a crazy idea hit her. "Do you want to stay too? I know that you hate being in that big house all by yourself...with all that's happened there."

She looked at Lucas hesitantly. "I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem..." She added after a brief pause.

Lucas stared at her for moment before nodding slowly."No, it's no problem."

Haley smiled faintly and turned to Nathan, her smile fading at his expression. "What?"

"I wish I _could_ stay here but I can't." Nathan said quietly. "Remember I'm taking the first overnight shift at the hospital tonight until Peyton's dad gets into town."

Haley frowned. "Oh, that's right..." she whispered. "I'm sorry I forgot, my mind's a mess right now--"

Nathan pushed her hair behind her ears. "Hey, whose isn't right now?" he said wryly.

Haley nodded thoughtfully. "Okay well what about when Mr. Sawyer gets here? You can come over then?--"

"I can't." Nathan interrupted her. "Remember mom and my grandparents get in--"

"Tomorrow!" Haley finished for him, her eyes closing as she suddenly recalled what he'd told her the night before. She looked at him apologetically.

"Nate I'm sorry!" she said softly. "I can't believe I forgot! And I was going to help you get the house ready and everything!"

"It's okay Hales." Nathan soothed, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. "I think that you have a valid excuse for getting out of this one, don't you?"

Haley smiled chagrinly. "I know but I wanted to help you fix-up the house..."

"I know, but you can't." Nathan said tilting her head so that he could look into her eyes. "You're needed here Hales." he said softly. "I don't think I've ever seen Brooke so...lost! And Peyton..." his voice faded and Haley gripped his hands between hers.

"And Peyton's going to make it through this Nate." she said determindly. "I know she is."

Nathan nodded, smiling sadly and Haley slid her arms around him and hugged him to her, both of them suddenly becoming aware of the pair of ice-blue eyes watching them keenly.

"Well," Lucas said quietly,his voice thoughtful and low. "If you change your mind..." he looked into his brother's eyes. "...you now where the spare key is."

His voice was sincere and Nathan studied him for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Thanks man." he said softly.

Their eyes locked and Haley glanced from one to the other, a slow warmth replacing the cold that had gripped her stomach ever since her and Nathan's drive to the hospital. All summer, she'd hoped and prayed for one moment of real warmth, one moment of genuine amity between what had been two of the most important men in her life. And here it was. _Finally._ Filling the room slowly like the dim light of the slowly rising sun that shone in from the bedroom window. Here was the moment she'd been waiting for--for months! And now when it had finally happened, when there was a hint of promise and possibilty...

They were all barely on speaking terms and Peyton was lying in a hospital room with a severe head injury.

Sometimes life _really_ was a bitch.

Haley looked up at Lucas who had a slight smile on his face tinged with sadness and his eyes left Nate's and met hers. She stared at him expressionlessly, her face devoid of any of the emotion she'd felt only hours before when they'd held each other, and she could see that he was doing the same. She felt a tinge of disappointment but ignored it, refusing to investigate what it was and what it meant and fixed a slight smile on her mouth instead.

"I supposed I should have asked you if I could stay too... before agreeing to it for Brooke." she said slowly.

Lucas watched her, his eyes expressionless as they traveled across her face. "This is your home Haley." he said quietly. "It always will be. Which means you don't ever have to ask to stay here."

Haley looked at him startled more at his emotionless tone than his words but Lucas turned away and walked to the door. "I'm going to try to reach my mother again." he said.He glanced at Nathan. "You'll call if...?" his voice faded and he cleared his throat. "You'll call?" he asked.

Nathan nodded. "I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything."

Lucas nodded. "Thanks." he said earnestly.

He glanced at Haley again before leaving the room and Haley stared after him, that feeling slowly rising inside of her again, filling her senses before she quickly squleched it. _It really is over_... she thought suddenly, the empty thought adding to the immense sadness she already felt and she felt the corners of her eyes fill with tears. She wiped them away angrily as they fell, questioning their cause and stifling the answer before it could come. She suddenly felt as if a huge weight had been hefted onto her shoulders, crushing her bones and tearing at her heart with it's ragged edges. She suddenly wanted to close her eyes and stop thinking in the worse way. She lifted a hand to her throbbing head and Nathan watched her, worried about the sudden paleness of her face. He put his arm around her.

"Haley are you okay?" he asked quickly "You look exhausted."

"That's cause I am." she said lightly, resting her head on his shoulder. "But not anymore than you are."

"That's not true." Nathan said turning her towards the door and walking out of the room. "You've dealt with a little more than I have."

Haley didn't say anything. She knew he was right. She'd dealt with more in the past few months than she had in the past few _years_! But she knew Nathan was right mostly because everything suddenly seem to be hitting her all at once and collecting in her head...or more accurately in her temples.

"Ouch." She winced clutching her head as Nathan half-carried, half-led her to her old room but she froze at the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked suddenly realizing where he was taking her.

"I'm putting you to bed Haley." Nathan said firmly. "You need some sleep. You need at least a few hours where nothing is going on in your head other than dreams."

Haley stared at her former room wordlessly. It was just as she'd left it the night before, opened boxes and clothes strewn everywhere. Her eyes drifted to the bed and the throbbing in her head increased. Even the bed wasn't made. Her eyes started to water. The bed...

She turned and looked at Nathan. "Nate, I can't stay in here."

Nathan frowned confused at the shattered look on her face. "Hales? Why not, what's wrong?"

Haley shook her head. "I just...I just don't want to sleep in here Nathan. I can't explain it, I just don't okay?"

Nathan's frown deepened. "Okay...do you want to sleep on the couch?"

Haley started to nod in reliedf. "The couch?Yeah, I think that would be..." her voice suddenly faded as a memory suddenly hit her. Like a big red _Attention _sign in the middle of her forehead. It had only happened a couple of weeks ago but it felt like years. Brooke and Peyton had gone out and she and Lucas had the house to themselves. They'd spent the whole afternoon talking about their future and making love. Except when they'd fallen to the couch together after a quick lunch. There they'd stared into each other's eyes and talked about all the things they would do together when they could tell everyone they were a couple. They'd laughed about going to the zoo or a museum, anywhere where there were a lot of people--just so everyone could see them together holding hands and staring into each other's eyes...Anywhere people could see that they belonged to each other. They'd fallen asleep talking about it barely waking up in time to avoid Brooke and Peyton walking in on them. But after that, everytime she'd paassed the couch, she had remembered that special afternoon and all the excitement they had about their future. Their future together.

Haley felt a huge tear fall down her cheek only realizing that she was staring into space when Nathan wiped it away.

"Hales?" he whispered and his voice was so filled with concern that Haley forced a smile to her face.

"I'm sorry. I was just having a girl moment." she lied. "You know...un-made bed and all. It was a random subtle hissy fit. I'm sorry."

She walked into the room her eyes staring straight ahead so she'd avoid looking at the bathroom door. She was already filled with one memory too many. Nathan was right, she just needed to sleep and empty her mind of--everything!

She felt Nathan pull off her shoes as she sank into the soft bed and she closed her eyes.

"Thanks Nate." she whispered. "What would I do without you?"

"Probably sleep in your shoes..." Nate quipped lightly.

Haley didn't hear him as she drifted into sleep's oblivion and he watched her for a moment, waiting for her breathing to slow down and regulate before he covered her with a blanket and crept out of the room. As he closed the bedroom door behind him, he pulled out his cell phone and headed for the front door. He stared at it for a moment, a huge part of his conscience wrestling with what the rest of him knew he should do. He frowned. There was no way around it, it had to be done. Maybe it should have been done a long time ago...

The phone on the other line rang and rang as he neared his car and climbed in, and he was about to hang up and try again when he heard someone pick up on the other end.

"Hey, it's me." he said quietly. "I have some news...it's pretty bad but...you have to know."

The voice on the other end spoke quickly, their tone low and worried and Nathan ran a hand through his hair restlessly taking a long, deep breath.

"It's Peyton." he finally said. "She's been in an accident and it was...it was bad. She's...she's in a coma."

There was a long anguished pause on the other end and Nathan frowned worriedly.

"Hello?... Hey, are you there?"

He didn't hear anything for a long moment and for a second he wondered if he'd lost the connection. It had happened many times before throughout the summer whenever he'd made this particular phone call. Calls no one else knew or would have even guessed about. Calls that he'd been sworn to secrecy to keep to him himself...And calls that had twisted his gut with guilt everytime he'd seen Peyton's drawn face. Nathan sighed, as he started his car. Yeah, he probably lost the connection. He'd try again.

But then he heard the voice he'd been waiting for.

"I'm on my way man." Jake Jagielski said intently,his voice low and struggling for control. "Watch over my girl till I get there,okay? I'm on my way."


	47. Cruel Intentions

**Sorry it's taken so long to UD! Kayla, this one's for you,'k? Chilton Puff, knocky7, I'm blushing:) Thank you!**

Cruel Intentions

Jake was driving fast.

No, Jake was _speeding._He knew he was going too fast and he knew that he really needed to slow down. Pick-up trucks could only go so fast afterall. Especially old_, beat-up_ pick-up trucks. But no matter how hard he tried, no matter how many times he told himself too, he just couldn't make himself step on the brakes. Even a little. He had to get to her.

He had to get to the love of his life.

An image of Peyton the last time he'd seen her suddenly rose in his thoughts.She'd been standing on the balcony at Tric watching him as he prepared to leave. Trying to smile but failing miserably. And crying. It was all he could do not to jump off his motorcycle and run to her. But he hadn't. He'd watched her for a moment, their eyes locked in silent sadness. Then he'd put on his helmut and driven away.But not out of town.

He'd tracked Nathan down at the school gym and given him his phone number, swearing him to secrecy that he had it. He told Nathan to watch out for Peyton and to call him if she ever needed him knowing deep down that Nate would never call him.He'd hoped, but the look that Nathan had given him had said more than actual words could have said. He didn't understand why Jake was leaving Peyton behind at all and Jake couldn't blame him. With all that he'd gone through with Haley, he'd seen Jake in the same light that he'd seen his wife. To him, Jake and Haley were one and the same. _Leavers_. People who left the ones that they loved without looking back. And he hadn't. When he'd climbed back on his motorcycle and headed out of town, he hadn't glanced back once. He'd driven away from Peyton, for what he'd thought would be forever.

But he'd been wrong. Forever had lasted for less than a day. Nathan had surprised him with a phonecall the next day, apologizing for the way he'd acted and telling him that Peyton was heartbroken but she'd be okay. Jake had thanked him and hung up his phone hoping that the ache inside his chest would start to ebb. He'd hoped that eventually the pain would fade away, that the sound of Peyton's laugh and the smell of her hair would become a memory. But they hadn't.

Instead, thoughts of Peyton had filled his mind every moment that he wasn't thinking of finding Jenny and all the time in between. And so he'd started writing the letters. He'd figured that it would be the next best thing to actually speaking to her, actually hearing her voice. He thought that if he could write down what he was thinking and feeling that maybe it would cause the pain to ache a little less than it was. He'd intended to write just one and then throw it away. Instead he wrote it and mailed it to her without a return address. And then he'd written another one the next day. And another. And another...At first he'd regretted it thinking that it might give her false hope, make her think that he was coming back one day. But he'd eventually realized that it might give her peace of mind knowing that he was okay and that she was always in his thoughts.

Instead it made him want her even more.

He'd finally realized that he needed her in his life. Deep down,a part of him had always known but he finally let himself acknowledge how much he needed her. He had been on his way back to Tree Hill when he'd heard from one of Nikki's old friends that she was in San Francisco. And so he'd turned around and headed to California instead with every intention of getting Jenny and heading back to Tree Hill. He'd been right on Nikki's heels too after finding out that she had an aunt in Santa Monica. But then Nathan had called and told him about Peyton's accident...and he'd known where he needed to be. He'd used the rest of his savings to pay a P.I. to stay on Nikki's trail and then he'd hopped into the old truck he'd traded for his bike and headed back home. Headed back to Peyton.

Jake sat up impatiently, his fingers clutching the wheel in frustration. He'd never liked flying, in fact he hated planes with a passion but right then he wished fiercely that a cape would suddenly appear and he could make like Superman. The desire to be with Peyton was so strong that he could barely lift his foot off of the accelerator. He gritted his teeth and pressed down harder ignoring the dirty looks that other drivers shot him as he darted in and out of traffic, swerving to avoid other careless motorists who were doing the same. The only thought in his mind was getting to Peyton, being by her side, whispering to her to wake up, to open her eyes and look at him. He felt his own eyes fill up as his desperation grew, causing him to press down even harder on an accelerator that refused to go any faster. The car groaned and shuddered and he glanced down at the speedometer muttering a curse beneath his breath when he saw how fast he was going. So he didn't see the truck swerve in front of him from the left lane without flashing its indicator. And he didn't see the car in front of him abruptly stop as traffic slowed. He didn't see anything but the guardrail as he swerved to avoid the squealing vehicles in front of him. As his truck crashed into the side and metal met with metal, his last conscious thought was of Peyton's slow smile the first time he told her he loved her. Then all went silent and finally, so did his thoughts.

* * *

Haley blinked as she stared up at the ceiling. She was very tired. In fact, she could feel exhaustion in every part of her body, begging her to close her eyes and lose herself in her dreams. But for the life of her... 

She couldn't sleep.

She knew that a big part of her insomnia had to do with Peyton. The thought of her friend lying, pale and alone in some stark hospital room made her stomach turn and her frown lines deepen even more. She felt almost guilty at the thought that she could close her eyes and sleep but eventually open them while Peyton...

She felt her eyes fill with tears and she sat up slowly and wiped them away. Yes, the majority of her sleeplessness was caused by Peyton's tragically forced deep sleep.But there was another reason that she couldn't lose consciousness. And that reason was right down the hall.

She squinted into the darkness_. Lucas_...

His name glided through her thoughts as emotion after emotion rose unbidden inside of her. At the hospital, when they'd held each other and cried, she'd felt...well, she'd _felt._

Haley closed her eyes trying to forget that moment and the way that it had felt holding Lucas and being held by him. But she couldn't. Because it had felt so good. And right. She'd felt safe and it had been hard to let him go. But eventually she had. And he'd let go of her too and their eyes had met in that moment. Met and held and...and then Brooke had fainted and they'd focused their attention on her and the moment had been pushed to the back of her thoughts. Until now...

She glanced towards the hall before impulsively sliding out of bed and creeping to the door. She didn't know what moved her or propelled her out of her room or down the hall or what she was even _thinking_. Her mind was a place of numbness and uncertainty. So when she paused at Lucas bedoom door and slowly pushed it open, she was only mildly surprised at her actions. No other part of her could think clearly through the dense fog inside her head. But she was startled from her complacency when her eyes slid onto the bed where Lucas lay, outlined by the slowly dawning sun.He looked up startled as she moved and his eyes met hers.

They stared at each other wordlessly for a long time, again transferred back to that moment in the hospital when it had felt like they were the only two people in the world. When they'd been unable to let each other go because they were so lost in the safety that they created in each others arms.

Lucas eyes travelled across her face as she watched him, frozen in his doorway.Then slowly, without a word, he lifted the corner of the quilt that covered him in unspoken invitation. Haley barely hesitated, moving towards him before she'd even formed a thought. She slid into the familiar softness of his bed and inched closer to him until she could feel the warmth of his body before she lay back and stared at the ceiling. He stared up at his ceiling too listening to the soft whir of the flat blades in his quiet room. Both of them were silent and still, ignoring the familiarity of the moment, welcoming the sudden calm that they each felt. Haley didn't know what to say so she said the first thing that came to her mind.

"I can't sleep." she whispered.

Lucas looked at her, ignoring the rapid beating of his heart, swallowing the words that he really wanted to say.

"Me neither." he said instead, frowning at his walls.

Haley nodded wordlessly and they lay there in silence in a room that was filled with so many questions that the air was thick with it. But neither of them said a thing.

Haley swallowed hard against the sudden lump in her throat.She tried to hold back the tears that sprang to her eyes but she couldn't. She tried to wipe them away without Lucas seeing--but he did.

"Haley.." he said his voice filled with concern. "What is it? What's wrong?"

_Everything, Lucas!_ Haley wanted to yell. _How can you ask me that when _everything_ is so horribly wrong_? But she couldn't say it. She couldn't say anything. She felt Lucas hesitant touch on her shoulder and she looked at him through her tears.

"Peyton's going to be alright Haley." He said softly,guessing at what was causing the tears to slide down her face, only partially right. "She is _so_ strong...There's no way that Peyton would let a coma be _it _for her! There's just no way she would..."

His voice trailed away as Haley stared up at him. Her eyes were filled with so much unspoken emotion and suddenly he could barely speak.

"Haley..." he whispered softly as he looked at her. And suddenly, he couldn't stop himself...and he was reaching for her.He touched her hair and then her cheek and her eyes closed as he felt the damp softness there. He didn't know what her reaction would be. She'd been so hurt the last time they'd spoken... he half-expected her to pull away. But she didn't.

Ever so slowly she reached for his hand on her face... and covered it with her own. Her eyes were closed tightly as the tears continued to fall and Lucas could do nothing but watch in frustrated silence. There had been so much emotion in her eyes, _so_ much! But the emotion that had shone the clearest, the one that he knew had been shining in his own...was love.

Haley _loved_ him. He finally knew that without a doubt. Nothing she could say or do would ever make him doubt it again. He'd seen it, shining from her eyes as beautiful as everything else about her. It was _love_. And not the warm, steady emotion that they'd shared for most of their lives. Not the love of a best-friend or loyal pal. It was the other kind. The all-consuming, passionate love that made it close to impossible for them to be apart. A love that made it hard for them to not be _touching_ in some way whenever they were together. They were soulmates. He'd known it for a while but he finally saw in her eyes that _she _knew it too. At least _part _of her did.

Because he could also see that she was fighting against it.She was fighting what she felt. Along with the love in her eyes, he'd seen fear and determination. For some completely baffling reason, Haley was determined to deny them both what was theirs to share. And Lucas didn't understand it at all.

But he did understand that her calm was precarious right then. She was holding herself together with what little self-preservation she had left and he didn't want to shake it in any way. He didn't want to hurt her anymore.And forcing her to accept what they had at that moment---No, he couldn't do that to her.

So, he would wait. He wouldn't push her...tonight

He looked down at her as a slow smile spread across his face, gentle and soft. And filled with love. Love he could show freely now that he knew she loved him back. Now that he knew the truth. He lay down, his hand still on her cheek covered by hers and she opened her eyes and smiled softly.

"Thank you Lucas." she whispered.

"For what?" he asked softly.

"For...for this. Thank you for this."

Lucas stared at her for a moment before nodding once and she looked at hin unaware of what he could see in her steady gaze. Their eyes were locked for a long moment before hers slowly closed. But he watched her until the sun rose, shining its light into the room, its glare barely hidden behind the blinds covering the windows. When he finally succumbed to exhaustion, his hand was still on her cheek and her hand still covered his own. And they finally slept.

* * *

When Haley woke up hours later, she stared up at the ceiling for a moment before slowly turning to look beside her. Lucas wasn't there and she sat up slowly as she tried to quell the feeling of disappointment that washed over her._Of course he wouldn't still _be_ here Haley_, she told herself. _What did you expect_? _That everything would magically be back the way it was just because of one night? And _you're _going to be valedictorian! I think not! _

She knew that she was thinking...well, crazy thoughts. Her and Lucas were over, it was that simple. But after last night...lying beside him and staring into his eyes...

"Stop it Haley." she muttered as she climbed off the bed. "Brain, do your job." But eventhough her brain and her heart were two very different soft organs, both were hurting something fierce as she walked into the bathroom. One of her toothbrushes was still there and she smiled softly as she picked it up before turning on the faucet. Yes, it was over but...She stared at herself in the mirror over the sink. It had been beautiful while it was. _Crazy_ beautiful. She started brushing her teeth, only pausing to wipe the tears that slid down her cheeks.

* * *

Brooke lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. She'd been up for hours, long before she heard Lucas leave to go on his daily run. She was still awake when he came back only pretending to be asleep when she heard him peek inside her room. When she heard his shower start, she'd opened her eyes again and stared out the window trying to ignore the pain that thundered through her head but welcoming it just the same. 

Because she deserved it.

There was no way that she should be feeling anything but agony considering that all her best-friends were in various states of it and it was all her fault. She frowned as the pounding began to ring in her ears and reached for the antibiotics that Lucas and Nathan had gotten for her the day before. She hadn't eaten anything and the medication was supposed to be taken with food but she didn't want to go to the kitchen. She couldn't stand the thought of facing Lucas or Haley just yet. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what she _should_ say! Afterall, it wasn't everyday that you told your friends that you'd been scheming on them for months and had purposely broken them up for revenge just to see them in pain. How do you start that kind of conversation?

Brooke felt her eyes fill with tears and she wiped them away angrily. No, she thought, you are _not_ going to cry. You got yourself into this mess and you're going to fix it before anyone else gets hurt. You're going to make this right. Slowly, taking a deep breath, she sat up and pulled the covers off as she stared at the door. It's now or never Davis... She stood and pulled on her robe and walked determindly to the door.

She put her hand on the knob and turned...

"No!" she whispered shaking her head slowly. "I can't! I can't do this right now."

She turned and threw her robe off before climbing back into bed and pulling the covers over herself. _I'll do it when Peyton wakes up_, she thought nodding as she took another deep breath to steady her nerves. She felt relief begin to seep through her, slowing down her heart-rate, lessening the pain in her head. She'd decided. She'd tell Lucas and Haley everything as soon as Peyton was better. When she woke up, they would all sit down together and she would make everything right again.She would. They might even be so relieved about Peyton that they'd forgive her! She allowed herself a small hopeful smile at the thought. Suddenly everything didn't seem so horrible. Even the light shining in from the windows didn't hurt her head quite as badly. She felt so much better already.She smiled as she closed her eyes.

_Yes, after Peyton wakes up, I'll tell them what I did_, she thought calmly. _I'll tell them everything._She took another deep breath.

_When Peyton wakes up..._

* * *

Lucas looked up as Haley walked into the kitchen. She froze when she saw him and their eyes locked for a fraction of a second before Lucas smiled slightly and stood up. He pulled out a chair for her and motioned for her to sit. 

"Good morning." he said quietly. "Or good afternoon I guess. We had a late night."

Haley chuckled awkwardly and sat down in the chair he'd pulled out. "That's an understatement."

Lucas opened up the cupboard and reached for a bowl.

"You hungry?" he asked.

Haley shook her head. "No, not really."

Lucas slowly closed the cupboard. "Okay." he said lightly.

He didn't sit back down, opting instead to lean against the counter, his arms folded tightly against his chest as Haley watched him. He was acting strangely and she wondered if it had anything to do with their night together. Her chest tightened as she suddenly thought about a possible reason for his weird behavior. Maybe he was sorry he'd done it. She looked at him as he suddenly frowned at nothing. _Did_ he regret letting her sleep with him? Or had Brooke caught them? _Or_ was he just feeling guilty that he'd let her stay with him at all? Haley frowned as her cheeks flushed with a sudden steady anger. Or maybe her anger wasn't so sudden. Maybe it had been there lying dormant since the night Lucas had cheated on her. The _second_ time. What was tragically funny was how he was only starting to feel guilty _now _when he obviously hadn't had that problem when he was with her!She supposed she should be glad that he was capable of that emotion after all, but somehow...she wasn't.

Haley looked away angrily as Lucas stared at her comtemplating what he could say to her that wouldn't send her running for the hills.He didn't want to scare her or put her on the defensive. He just wanted her to acknowledge her feelings. He frowned puzzled at the look he'd caught her shooting him before she'd looked away. Was she...was she _angry_ at him?

"Haley--?"

"Look Lucas." Haley said standing abruptly." I'm just going to go ahead and go. I guess I'll see you at the hospital--"

"Go?" Lucas said confused at her sudden anger. "Go where?"

"Home!" Haley said abruptly. "I'm going home to Nathan's . You couldn't have planned it any better if you hired a professional planner, could you?" She said bitterly." Me at Nate's, Peyton in the hospital-- you and Brooke have a nice little set-up here now with both of us out of the picture so--enjoy!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back. There was no way that Lucas wanted Peyton gone, especially in the way that she'd been taken from them.She shouldn't have said it--no matter how angry she was. The stunned look on Lucas face increased her regret.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, her hands on her mouth. "I'm so sorry-- that...that was ugly." She shook her head and started for the door. "I'll go--"

"No! Haley--" Lucas was by her side in an instant. He stared into her eyes intently. "I don't want you to go anywhere. I want you to stay. I want you to stay with _me_."

And it wasn't so much _how_ he said it. It was in the way he said it that made Haley realize that he was talking about more than her staying with him for the day or the week. Or even a month really. The way he said those words and the look in his eyes...

"What do you mean, Lucas?" Haley whispered.

Slowly, gently Lucas took her hands in his own. He took a deep steadying breath. Then he looked at her. "What I mean is.." he began slowly. "...is that I know I hurt you Haley. Badly. And I know that you don't trust me like you did once before but I want you to know something. And I want you to listen to me--the me that _you_ know.That you've known ever since..." He smiled faintly."Ever since I sounded like a girl and was the shortest kid in Little League."

His eyes were wide and shiny as he gripped her fingers." Haley... I _love_ you." he whispered. "I have for a long time and I always will. And--" he swallowed with difficulty. "I want to be with you. _Only _you. No one else. And I need you to believe me. I need you to believe in _us."_

Haley stared at him, her eyes wide and stunned. A million thoughts were flying through her head but she could barely make out one!She didn't know what she'd expected but--this? She hadn't expected _this_! She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts but all she could think about, all she could see was the sincerity shining from Lucas eyes and the love...There was _so _much love there! But---

She pulled her hands from his and backed away shaking her head.

"I don't understand." she whispered the lump in her thought impeding her speech. "We've been through this--"

"Yes, we have!" Lucas said. "And I've accepted that you love Nathan, Haley." he said with difficulty. "That doesn't matter to me anymore because I know that you love me--as much as I love you! I saw it in your eyes last night--"

"My eyes?--"

"Yes..." Lucas said softly. He wanted to touch her again but she had backed away from him deliberately and he wanted to give her the space that she so obviously needed. He ran his hands through his hair.

"Last night when you looked at me..." He shook his head as he stared at her. "It was all there. Peyton's accident broke down all the walls that you put up against me and I saw, Haley. I saw everything that you felt lying there with me--the pain and the fear and the doubt..." He looked at her. "...and the love. The same love that I feel for you."

His throat closed up as he stared at her and he shook his head. "So you see, it doesn't matter to me anymore that you kissed Nathan or that you told him you love him. I love you more than all that. And I want to be with you more than I've ever wanted anything."

Haley didn't realize that she was crying until she felt a wetness on her shirt. She touched her cheek, surprised to find it slick with tears and stared at Lucas, stricken.

He was telling her the truth. There was no denying it. She'd always thought that she knew Lucas almost as well as she knew herself, so when she'd found out about him and Brooke it had broken her heart in more ways than one. She'd felt like she'd lost her best-friend as well because she'd figured that she didn't know him as well as she thought if he could betray her the way that he had. But that same part of her that had known him forever suddenly knew without a doubt that he was telling her the truth at that moment. He _did_ love her. And she loved him with everything inside of her.

But that wasn't enough for her. She needed to trust him with everything inside of her too. And she didn't anymore. What he'd done with Brooke had completely eradicated any trust that she had for him. And if she couldn't trust him, loving him would never be enough for her. It just wouldn't.She closed her eyes against the tears that continued to fall. Then she looked at him.

"Lucas." she whispered. "I love you too. I love you more than I even thought was possible."

Lucas eyes were bluer than she'd ever seen them as he stared at her. A slow smile started on his face and he took a step towards her. And then she spoke again.

"But I could never be with you." she whispered brokenly. "I could never be with someone who broke my trust and my heart the way that you did with Brooke. I just couldn't."

She saw Lucas's smile break and crash down around them. She saw the brightness in his eyes dim and the shine in both of them, but she kept on talking.

"Without trust, my love for you would mean nothing." she whispered. "Don't you see? I'd always _doubt_ you, Lucas! I'd always wonder where you were and what you were doing. And with who! Everytime a pretty girl walked by, I'd always question what you were thinking and if you'd cheat on me with her." She stared at him as she cried. "Being with you would break my spirit Lucas.It would break us both!" she said brokenly. "And I don't want that. Do you?"

She sobbed as he stared at her, the four feet between them feeling as big and empty as a crater in the moon.

Lucas was frozen where he stood, his heart feeling like a million shards of glass inside his chest. He could barely stand the pain he was feeling. She was wrong. He knew that with as much certainty as he knew himself. Since he'd fallen in love with her, his whole world had changed. He saw and heard Haley in _everything_ now. A couple kissing on the street, the sound of a baby laughing behind him at a restaurant, the wind ruffling his hair...Haley was always with him. And that would never change. But she couldn't see it. All she saw was him in bed with Brooke, kissing her,touching her... Something that had started off as nothing to him was suddenly _everything_ to them both! He had to make her see that, he had to make her see the truth.

"Haley," he said slowly. "I know that you can't understand this--I don't either. But everything I did with Brooke was a mistake! A _mistake_, Haley! It's no excuse but I don't remember half of what we even did when we were together--"

"Stop!" Haley cried, shaking her head. "I don't want to hear this, Luke--"

"But you need too!" he said, walking to her, holding her shoulders. "Brooke is just a friend that I made the mistake of kissing, Haley! I hurt both of you because I was too afraid to tell her the truth, but now I'm telling you--"

"I don't care, it's over--"

"No it's not!" Lucas cried. "It's not over if you don't want to be with me because of it! Please _forgive_ me, Haley! Forgive me..." he said his voice breaking as she covered her face.

"But I can't forget it!" she sobbed. "I keep on seeing you two together in bed in my mind and I can't let it go,Luke! How can I let that go?"

"Because it wasn't real Haley."

Lucas and Haley looked at each other startled before they turned their gaze on the person who'd spoken.

Brooke stood pale-faced in the doorway of the kitchen, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she stared in at them. Lucas looked at her his eyes dark with confusion as Haley ran a hand through her hair. Her eyes were widening with concern even as she wiped at the tears there.

"Brooke, did we wake you? I'm sorry--" she whispered.

"No, you didn't." Brooke said quietly. "I've been up for hours trying to think of a way to tell you two..."

"Tell us what?" Lucas asked, concern on his face.

Brooke felt the tears start to come even as they watched her, both concerned for her, both caring about her even with their own pain. Pain she'd caused.

She started to cry.

"Brooke!" Haley said reaching for her but she pulled away.

"No!" she whispered. "Don't. I don't deserve it."

"Brooke what's wrong?" Lucas asked worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"No." Brooke said shaking her head, her eyes on the floor before they slowly rose to meet his. "I'm not okay. I'm a mean, vindictive, hateful bitch and I don't like myself very much right now. And neither will you when I tell you what I've done."

Haley and Lucas stared at her in stunned silence. Then Lucas touched her shoulder.

"Brooke, whatever it is...it'll be all right. We'll help you get through this."

Brooke shook her head. "No you won't. You'll hate me Lucas. You both will."

Lucas stared at her as she pulled away and walked towards the kitchen counter.Putting space between her and both of them.Space she would need.

Haley stared at her, worry drowning out everything else she was feeling.

"Brooke." she said slowly. "What did...what did you do?"

Brooke bit her lip as she slowly turned around.

"Everything Haley." she said as tears rolled down her cheek. "I screwed up _everything_."

Lucas frowned confused. "Brooke what are you talking about--?"

"I _planned_ this Lucas, okay!" Brooke cried finally. "The whole thing! Every heart-breaking moment, every tear you've both cried, all the confusion and agony-- I did it all! The break-up, the pain you're both feeling right now. This _ fight_?" Brooke's voice had lowered to a dull whisper. "I did it to you guys."

Haley frowned. "Brooke, this isn't your fault." she whispered. "Lucas and I did this. And we hurt _you_ most of all--"

"No." Brooke said shaking her head slowly. "_I_ hurt _you_. I hurt you both." She took a deep breath as they stared at her in confusion. "I didn't_ just_ find out about you and Lucas on friday." she whispered. "I've known for months. I found out by accident but...everything else was planned."

She lifted her head and looked into their eyes steadily.

"It was all a plan." she said softly. " _My _plan. I broke you and Haley up. On purpose."


	48. We Might As Well Be Strangers

**Awww! _Thanks, _Tickle, Elsewhere, Kayla, Hoazin, and Chilton Puff ! I'm glad you're enjoying this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it :) Your awesome reviews even motivated me to UD sooner than usual. This chapter is inspired by the song _We Might As Well Be Strangers _by _Keane. _If you haven't heard it, _try!_ It's a _great_ song! I wish there was some way it could play while you were reading this chapter--they really go hand-in-hand. Oh well...here it is. _Finally..._ ;) **

We Might As Well Be Strangers

Haley and Lucas stared at Brooke, their eyes wide with shock and confusion.

Brooke could see their disbelief and uncertainty as they struggled to understand what she'd just told them. And part of her was tempted to play on that uncertainty,to change the truth around, make herself look like a victim in the whole mess. Part of her wanted to cry in Lucas arms and let Haley caress her hair and accept all the blame. Part of her really wanted to cover up the truth once and for all in more lies until it was hidden forever. There was still time. She could see in their expressions that they still didn't quite believe what she'd said. She _could_ tell one last lie and make it all go away...

Except that Peyton knew the truth. And Brooke knew she was going to wake up any moment now, she _willed_ it with all her heart. And anyways, for once...

She didn't want to get away with what she had done.She wanted them to know. It was time to make things right.

She closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath before she slowly looked at them again.

"I...I found out about you two, several weeks ago." she said in a low voice, tight with resignation. "Peyton left this picture she'd drawn of you in the living room and..." she looked at them. "I _saw_ what you felt reflected in every line of your faces. You both know that Peyton draws emotion better than anyone so I knew that it was real."

She paused for a moment reliving that night, remembering the pain she'd felt, wondering how that moment had brought her to this. "I realized soon after that you guys were seeing each other secretly and...well... it hurt me. I thought that Lucas and I were..." Brooke paused then shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "But that's not the point. We _weren't_. And I should have respected that and let Lucas go." She looked at them. "I should have respected you and what you two had. But I didn't. I knew that you were in love. And I hated you both for it."

She watched as Haley's eyes slowly started to dim as her disbelief finally began to melt away...and dawning, unwanted understanding began to set in. She rushed to fill in the defeaning silence that suddenly surrounded them.

"You see, I loved Lucas and I wanted him to love me back _so_ much and when I saw that he didn't--I couldn't deal! And...I really didn't want too." She admitted finally to them...and to herself. "When I saw it--when I realized that it was real, I was jealous. I wanted what you two had so badly..." she shook her head as tears streamed down her face. "And I guess...I guess I didn't want you to have it if I couldn't. I was angry that you did--and that Peyton knew and hadn't told me. I felt...I felt betrayed! I felt like you were all lying to me--like I wasn't worth the truth!" she said, desperately trying to explain her actions to herself even as she told them.

But there was no more concern in either of their eyes. They were both staring at her,watching her keenly, but there was no more pity on their faces, no more doubt. They were beginning to comprehend what she was telling them and the looks in their eyes were growing more horrified with each word that she said.She closed her eyes, swallowing hard as she continued.

"And so...I let the pain take over. I let the anger that I felt curl inside me and twist the worst part of me into something unrecognizable." She frowned,her eyes on the floor. "And I made a plan. A plan to break you two up. Completely." She looked at Haley and hesitated.Then she continued. " And so I called Nate."

Haley looked up at her startled,her eyes narrowed as they met Brooke's . "N-Nate?" she managed to whisper. "Nate helped you...helped you to..." Her voice faded away. "Nathan _knew_?"

Brooke shook her head. "No." she said softly. "Nathan didn't know anything. I used him, Haley." she whispered. "I knew that he still had feelings for you and I used that. I made him think--" she broke off and stared at the ground. "I made him think that you still had feelings for him too--I told him things..." Her voice was husky and low."Told him things that I'd seen or heard you say. I lied to him and I manipulated him."she whispered. She looked at them."And I manipulated you too. "

She couldn't quite meet their eyes as she continued speaking in a low voice. "I wanted to make you doubt each other and to do that I had to get closer to Lucas and get Haley closer to Nathan." She took a deep breath. "So I made you pity me...by lying to you about my parents getting a divorce."

Lucas who hadn't spoken a word since she'd begun, looked at her jolted from his frozen stare.

"Your _parents_...?" he whispered."They're still together?"

Brooke nodded slowly. "And vacationing in Italy at the moment. Fourth honeymoon..." she said chuckling bitterly. She closed her eyes. The worse was yet to come and she was biding her time.

"I knew that Lucas wouldn't leave my side if I was hurt or in trouble... so I lied about my parents..." She closed her eyes. "And I lied about being allergic to mushrooms."

Haley stared at her, shaking her head incredulously. "That day when we thought you were having a _serious _allergic reaction to food, you really weren't? That was all a _lie_?"

Brooke nodded ashamed, her eyes on the floor. "I used it... to get closer to Lucas. And it worked. You went off with Nathan and I had Lucas all to myself." She looked at them. "And I told him things...Things that I knew would make him jealous--things that I knew would make him suspicious about you and Nathan."

Her voice was low and rushed as she spoke. "And I knew that if he saw you and Nathan together it would be harder for him to ignore what I was saying. So I encouraged Nathan to take you out and hang out with you. And I told him it was what you wanted."

Haley's eyes were brimming with unshed tears as she stared at the girl standing in front of her.The stranger. The stranger she'd _thought_ was her friend. She ran her hands through her hair, more than deeply disturbed at what she was hearing. She could barely wrap her mind around what Brooke was saying--what Brooke had _done_. But it _had_ been done. She finally understood that.

"You used Nathan and my _broken_ relationship as part of your twisted _revenge_ ploy?" she whispered. "You used our feelings and our attempts at reconciliation _against _us?"

Brooke closed her eyes, and swallowed hard as she heard the disgust in Haley's voice."Yes. I did." she whispered. "And I told you lies about Lucas and me." She continued with difficulty. "I made it seem like he wanted me as much as I wanted him. More lies." She looked at Haley who gazed at her speechless."I guess a part of me...a part of me wanted it to be true. But it wasn't. And my lies never seemed to get to you. Not completely, anyways. No matter how many lies I told you, you two stuck together, stronger than ever--"

"Are you so demented that you actually believe that?" Haley said coldly, her eyes hard in her face. "Do you really think that after all the lies you told, that everything was just _fine_ between us?" Haley eyes flashed fire as she stared at Brooke. "Lucas and I were in turmoil Brooke! We struggled to believe in each other _every__single_ day while you whispered poison into our ears! Your lies came with a price, can't you even _see_ that?"

Brooke was crying. "I can see that _now_ Hales--"

"Don't you _dare_ call me that!" Haley hissed angrily, her pain stilting her words, threatening to overwhelm her. "Don't you _dare_ act like you're my friend!"

"But I am Haley!" Brooke sobbed. "I finally realize that having you in my life is worth so much more than some bullshit vendetta that barely makes sense anymore!"

Haley shook her head. "_Now_ you realize that?" she whispered fiercely. "You manipulate us all, seduce my boyfriend into bed and _then_ see the light?"

Brooke closed her eyes. And there it was. The secret she'd been avoiding, the biggest lie of all. She looked at them. At Lucas closed-off expression and Haley's flushed cheeks and she nodded. It was time.

"I didn't seduce Lucas, Haley." she said slowly.

Haley's frown intensified. "Oh, is there another word for what you did Brooke?" she said coldly." Tell me, what are the other sluts calling it these days?"

Brooke winced.Haley's words hit her like stones, hurting her just as badly as if they were. But she kept on talking. She knew that if she stopped, she might not be able to start again.So she started from the beginning.

"That day...the day that I lied about being sick, I knew that you would all feel bad for me--that it would make it hard for Lucas to leave me--especially since he already felt bad about not telling me about you two. " She stared at them unflinchingly. " And I knew that Nathan was taking my advice and taking Haley on a picnic. And I saw my chance."

Lucas frowned as he remembered the afternoon that she was talking about, the day he almost lost Haley forever. It was not something that he wanted Haley or himself to relive.

"Yeah, I remember that day too." He said quietly. "I guess you got your revenge huh? Finally! I gave in to your lies and my insecurities." He looked at Haley and she glanced away. "And I broke Haley's heart."

"No..." Brooke said huskily. "No, you didn't."

They looked at her, both disconcerted by her words.

"What do you mean he didn't?" Haley asked quietly. "I was there. I saw...I saw you guys together. Both times."

Brooke swallowed hard. "You saw what I wanted you to see both times Haley." she said shakily. "I made sure that you would walk in at just the right time. I planned it down to the second. The first time, I pretended to sleep. The second time, I asked you to come."

Her face was pale as she looked at Haley. " Remember bringing home my purse? From Tric?"

Haley frowned unsure of what Brooke was getting at. "I don't understand."

Brooke stared at the floor. When she spoke again her voice was monotone and deliberate. "The first time was easier." she whispered. "All I had to do really was get Lucas...disoriented so that he wouldn't know exactly what happened between us." She frowned remembering that day like it had just passed. And suddenly, it was like she was telling a story instead of the truth because none of what she was saying seemed real. None of what she had _done_ seemed real at all.

Lucas stared at her, perplexed by her words. "Make me...disoriented?" he asked uncertainly, but Brooke didn't stop. She frowned at the floor remembering everything clearly.

"The second time, I needed Nathan's help.I didn't want to hurt him anymore but... I needed his help or else nothing would have gone as planned. So I lied to him again. Told him Haley wanted to go to the party at TRIC with him...and that she wanted him to kiss her..."

Haley's eyes widened slowly."What?" she whispered stunned.

"I stole Peyton's key and hid it at Tric." Brooke continued softly. "And I told him where to find it and which room was the nicest and quietest place where he could talk to Haley...where you could be alone. But you wouldn't be alone really because I would make sure that you weren't." She frowned again. "He asked my advice and I told him to...I told him to tell Haley how he felt and to kiss her. I knew Haley would be stunned--that she wouldn't know how to react or that she'd make a mistake...that Lucas would see."

Tears sprang to Haley's eyes as memories of the heart-breaking night came back to her as Brooke recounted them mechanically.

"I waited..." she whispered. "I was _so_ patient and calm. And then when it was right--whenI _knew_ that Nathan and Haley were in there, I brought Lucas to the room pretending I didn't know what was going on..." She looked up at them finally. "But I knew.I knew what we'd see."

Lucas face was pale as he listened to Brooke's admission in growing horror. "You set us up?" he whispered. "You set the whole thing _up?"_

Brooke nodded.Tears ran down her face and fell onto her shirt but she she kept on talking. As if telling them each detail would unwrite the sordid history and it would seize to exist like she so desperately wanted it too. She looked at Lucas.

"I knew that you would be hurt and that you'd want to find some way to stop hurting." she whispered. "And I knew that you would give in to me if you were broken. And that you'd want to hurt Haley back for hurting you."

Lucas eyes were shiny as he stared at her. "You...knew that?" he asked shakily.

Brooke nodded. "But I knew that you'd need some help...like the first time."

Haley who had been crying silently,stared at Brooke.She knew that whatever was coming was bad. She could see it written all over Brooke's face. But she still didn't quite understand. And so she asked. Slowly and hesitantly, she asked. "Help?" She whispered. "What do you mean?"

Brooke bit her lip. "I mean help... with relaxation. He needed to relax and forget the pain that he was feeling. He needed to forget you. And that's why...that's why..." She looked into Lucas' eyes. " I gave you a Depressant. I put one of my mom's Barbiturates in your water. "

Lucas stared at her in shocked silence for a moment, his mind trying to make sense out of what she'd said-- to _deal_ with what she'd just told him. But it was close to impossible. Brooke had slipped him a roofie! There was no way around it. It was the truth. His face grew even paler.

"You _drugged_ me?" he whispered in disbelief.

Haley covered her mouth. "Oh God." she whispered.

Brooke nodded wordlessly, her eyes locked with his, silently begging him not to hate her. But Lucas stared at her with eyes that were dark with disbelief and anger. An intense anger that was reflected on Haley's face. Anger...and a hurt so deep that Brooke had to look away.

"How could --? Why would you--?" Lucas was so stunned that he could barely form a thought,his sentences breaking apart before he could finsh them. "Do you realize that you could have seriously _hurt_ me Brooke?" He finally managed. "Taking unperscribed Barbiturates can seriously mess up a person's mind _and_ body!"

"I didn't give you more than one Lucas!" she said trying to make it better somehow, failing miserably. "Each times, I only gave you one!" she said.

Lucas stared at her. "_Each _time?" he asked suddenly, his voice startled and wooden.

Brooke stared at them. They hated her. She could feel it through to her bones. If their eyes had been weapons, she would have been reduced to a pile of shattered pieces at their feet by now. But she couldn't stop. She had to tell them everything._Everything._

"Friday wasn't the only time that I...that I did what I did to you.The first time...the first time was that day you woke up from our nap and couldn't remember anything." She said dully." I lied when I said that we kissed." She admitted."...We didn't. We didn't do anything at all. I just made you both believe that we did. I knew that you wouldn't remember because of the Depressant. I wanted Haley to stop trusting you and I wanted you to... stop trusting yourself. And it almost worked." She said softly remembering the looks on both of their faces when they'd returned hours after Lucas had run out after Haley. "But it was only a small part of my plan. The bigger part..." she stopped and looked at them both. "The part that _worked, _that split you apart... was on friday night."

Lucas looked like he was going to be sick. He ran his hands through his hair and she watched him as she continued despite her intense desire to heave up all the contents of her stomach.

"After I gave you the...the pill, I stalled until I knew that Haley and Nathan were there--at the door. And then...and then I made it look like we were having sex." She said the rest quickly, making herself look at them steadily. " And by then the Barbiturate started to kick in and you couldn't think straight when Haley walked in...which made things worse.You could barely formulate a thought but it made you look heartless which is what I wanted. And Haley was too hurt to question your strange behavior. I just pretended that I was just finding out about you two like Nathan was." She said, exhaling loudly. "And it worked. My _plan..._ worked. You broke each other's hearts irreccably that night and I thought that I was even. I thought that I'd be happy that what you two had was destroyed."

"And were you?" Lucas asked, his voice strained and overwhelmed. "Were you _happy_?"

"No!" Brooke cried, shaking her head slowly. "I felt _sick_ to my stomach!"

"Kind of like I feel now?" Lucas asked chuckling shakily, but there was no humor in his voice. He stared at her, his eyes narrowed and pained. "Why now Brooke?" he asked abruptly. "Why are you telling us all this _now_?"

Brooke raised her hands in a helpless gesture. "Because I was stupid! At first I couldn't see past my anger--hell I couldn't see past my Manola Blahniks!" She looked from him to Haley who was staring at her silently, her face an expressionless mask. "I couldn't see _anything_ but this betrayal that I was so convinced you all had done to me! I thought that you didn't care--that I didn't mean anything. Even to Peyton--"

"Peyton?" Lucas said incredulously. He frowned as a thought pushed through to the forefront of his mind begging to be noticed."How does Peyton figure into all this Brooke?" he asked suddenly.

Brooke was suddenly still. "I thought that she betrayed me Lucas." she whispered. "The most. We've known each other forever and I thought that I didn't matter to her--that I _couldn't_ if she could keep this a secret from me--"

"_Peyton,_" Lucas interrupted coolly." wanted to tell you the truth from the very start, Brooke. The only reason she didn't tell you herself is because we begged her not too. Do you know how much it tore her up inside not telling you what she knew?" Lucas asked heatedly. "_Do__you_? You're her best-friend, how could you believe the worse about her without even knowing the whole truth!"

Brooke was sobbing openly, her arms wrapped around herself as she cried.

"I know!" she said. "I mean I know that _now_. But I wasn't thinking clearly then." She sniffed and wiped her face quickly. She had to keep on talking. She had to say it all. " I thought that she was lying to me, lying for the both of you." Slowly, she looked up at them , her eyes filled with unspeakable pain. "And that's why...that's why I hid her letters. The letters she got from Jake."

It took a moment for her words to sink in...but then she saw Lucas eyes slowly widen with realization as he looked at her.

"That's why you kept her letters from her, wasn't it?" He whispered. "Because of me and Haley."

Haley's face was clouded with confusion as she looked from Lucas to Brooke and back again. "What letters from Jake?" she asked slowly.

Lucas eyes were on Brooke's face as she stood staring at him. "Jake wrote Peyton letters." He said quietly as he stared at Brooke, his eyes hard and steel-blue in his face. "But somehow Brooke got a hold of them before Peyton and she hid them from her and didn't tell her about them." he said quietly. "For days she watched Peyton suffer-- depressed, _crying. _And she didn't say..a single...thing."

Brooke shook under his cold glare.

"You wanted to punish her for not telling you what she knew-- that was what you two were arguing about last night, wasn't it?" He stared at Brooke stunned. "I couldn't understand why she was so angry---so upset, but that was it. She found out that you knew all along about Haley and I--that you were the one who'd broken us up and she was going to tell."

He shook his head as he slowly walked over to Brooke until they were standing face to face.

"That was why Peyton was so upset last night." he said softly. "It wasn't just about the letters. She knew everything. And that is why you're telling us the truth right now. Because Peyton found out."

Brooke's eyes widened as he looked at her her, his voice soft and full of accusation.

"You're not telling us all of this because you feel bad or because you were suddenly struck with conscious." he said softly. "You knew that Peyton was going to tell us when she woke up and you thought that you'd beat her to the punch. And that's the real reason for all this, isn't it Brooke?"

Brooke shook her head, stricken by his words. "No Lucas!" she said desperately. "I'm telling you the truth because I realized that what I did was wrong. Yes, Peyton found out but I was going to tell you way before I knew that she knew! I had decided to tell you both the truth _before_ Peyton confronted me--"

"That's bullshit Brooke!" Lucas yelled angrily, freezing her where she stood. "Stop lying, already! We know everything. We aren't in the dark in more!" He glared at her. "We know the truth now. And we see you for who are. A lying, spiteful little--" His voice broke-off as he looked at her. "Stranger." He whispered.

She sobbed as he leaned in close to her so she couldn't look away." You're a stranger Brooke." he whispered. "A nobody. You're nothing to me anymore. Nothing."

Tears streamed down Brooke's face as she stared at Lucas, her heart feeling like a tiny piece of coal inside her chest. She'd expected this and part of her knew that she deserved it, but she couldn't seem to make herself leave. She felt like she could make them understand. If only they could _understand_...She looked at Haley who was staring at the floor, her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

"Haley," she said softly. "I'm _so_ sorry--I'm so--" Her voice was filled with desperation as Haley slowly looked up at her." I was just so _angry_ and I couldn't see what I was doing--"

"Who _are _you?" Haley suddenly whispered. Brooke froze stunned as she stared at her. "I don't even know who you are I mean---" she shook her head. "Did I ever? Were you ever _really_ my friend?" Haley's voice was filled with so much sadness and doubt that Brooke felt something inside her break and crash into her stomach.

"I _am_ your friend Haley." she whispered brokenly. "One of your best.I'm just-- I'm just a friend who made a stupid mistake--a _mistake_! I let my jealousy take over Haley! I would take it all back in a second if I could! I _would--_I was just so _hurt--"_

"Don't." Lucas said abruptly. "Don't you dare even try to explain away what you did Brooke! Do you understand how screwed up this is? Do you even realize what you've _done_? This is about more than just me and Haley, Brooke." His voice grew softer as he stared at her steadily until she couldn't look away, until all she could see was the seething anger in Lucas eyes. "Peyton is lying in a hospital room now in a coma." he whispered softly. "Your _supposed_ best-friend may never wake up again because she backed-up into the path of an oncoming truck. And why? Because she was too upset to notice or care." His eyes were shiny as he stared at her. "Because of you, Brooke. Because of _you_."

She looked at them stricken, her eyes filled with despair, pleading with them to understand. But they were both looking at her like she was some strange entity that had just crawled in from off the street. Lucas was glaring at her, his eyes cool and unforgiving but Haley...Haley was crying silently, her hands tangled in her hair and suddenly Brooke was by her side, gazing into her eyes desperately.

"Haley, I hate what I've done.I _hate_ it! I don't know what I was thinking--I _wasn't_ thinking!" Her voice was tinged with desperation as Haley slowly looked at her. "But I've learned from this. I've _learned_ Haley! Especially with what's happened to Peyton..." She stared at them both. "Life is too short to get caught up in what isn't real." she whispered. "You and Lucas and Nathan and Peyton..._that's_ what's real! Your friendship and your love, that's what counts--that's what's important!" Her cheeks were wet as she stared at Haley." I need you all in my life, Haley. Without you guys...I don't really have anything." She bit her lip. "Can you forgive me for what I've done Haley? Can you please _forgive_ me?"

Haley gazed at her for a long moment, her eyes unyielding and huge in her face. She was silent as she wiped away the tears that fell from her eyes. And then she looked away.

"Get out Brooke." she said softly.

At first Brooke wasn't sure that she'd heard correctly. "What?" she asked shakily,staring at her uncertainly.

But Haley wouldn't look at her. She folded her arms under her chest trying to keep herself expressionless at the pain in her friend's voice.

"I said, get out." She said softly her voice breaking on the words.

Brooke took a step towards her."Haley--"

Haley stepped back, her hand raised to ward her off and Brooke stopped. Haley turned slowly and finally looked into her eyes. "Get out Brooke! " she repeated hoasely. "Get the hell out. Right now."

Brooke looked at Lucas. "Luke--"

"Leave." he said quietly. "Now."

Brooke's eyes welled with tears as she stared at them both. "But it was a mistake!" she yelled suddenly. "Please, don't do this you guys, I _need_ you--I don't have anyone else--!"

"Brooke, leave! Please, just go!" Haley cried, tears falling down her cheeks. "Just...go. Please..."

Brooke stared at her for a long moment, their eyes locked as brown collided with hazel.

"I'm sorry." she whispered finally. "I'm _so_ sorry..."

She turned and ran out of the house and Haley looked away, covering her face with her hands as Brooke's car started in the driveway and pealed away. She stood that way for a long moment, crying into her hands. Until the sobs faded away,leaving only her tears as she finally lowered her hands to look at Lucas. He was watching her and his eyes were shiny as they stared at each other both of them lost in thought over what they'd just learned. Echoes of Brooke's words resounded around them.

_"I broke you two up. On purpose..."_

_"I made a plan..."_

_"I wanted to make you doubt each other and to do that I had to get closer to Lucas and get you closer to Nathan..." _

Haley stared at him...

_"I didn't seduce Lucas, Haley..."_

and he stared back, his eyes filled with emotion.

_"I told Nathan to tell Haley how he felt and to kiss her. I knew Haley would be stunned--that she wouldn't know how to react..." _

She took a step towards him, her lips trembling...

_"I put one of my mom's Barbiturates in your water... "_

_"We didn't do anything at all. I just made you both believe that we did.." _

_"I made it look like we were having sex..." _

and he took a step towards her...

_"It worked. My plan... worked..."_

Lucas stared at Haley as the last of Brooke's admissions reverberated inside his head. Her plan _had_ worked. He and Haley had broken apart more completely than Brooke had probably even imagined. And for what?

For nothing. It had all been a lie. All of it. His infidelity, Haley's feelings for Nathan...all imagined. All part of a very twisted and efficient plan.

He looked at Haley who was staring at him, her face filled with as much stunned realization as his own.

"You didn't sleep with Brooke." She whispered, and it wasn't a question. It was fact. There was no more doubt and accusation in her voice. "You don't have feelings for her..."

Lucas took another step towards her and then stopped. His chest was filling with a kind of trembling sensation that he could barely contain as he watched the slow clearing in Haley's eyes. Weeks of pain, and doubt were fading from her features as her eyes travelled over his face.

"You were telling me the truth." she whispered." The whole time... you were telling me the truth."

Lucas nodded as his throat filled and felt sore. "And you're.." he paused and swallowed. "You're not in love with Nathan--"

"No." she said shaking her head. Another thought suddenly rose in her thoughts trying to push through but she ignored it."I'm in love with someone else." she whispered as she stared at Lucas, her features lightening to reflect the expression on his face.

The love...

And there it was. The truth, finally. They were in love with one another. Completely. Absolutely. The whole time, their feelings had been there, strong, true, _real..._ And they'd doubted it, doubted one another because of Brooke's lies. But not anymore. And not ever again.

They looked at each other and slow, radiant smiles spread across their faces as their eyes locked. Lucas took another step towards her...and suddenly she was running and jumping into his arms. And they were both crying as he held her up and laughing and staring at each other, studying each others features as if they hadn't seen each other in months. And there was still pain there and raw emotion as they held each other, as thoughts of Brooke and Peyton and Nathan drifted around them. But the doubt and the uncertainty about each other that had gripped them unwaveringly, was gone. There was only honesty and a blissful elation in their eyes as Lucas spun her around and they grinned at each other. And at that moment that was all that mattered. As Haley ran her hands through his hair and he touched her cheek and her chin, slowly lowering her to the ground, the only thoughts in their minds were of each other as they did the only thing that they wanted to do at that moment. The only thing that mattered right then and came naturally...

They kissed.


	49. Once Upon a Time

_Previously in JAST _

_...I'll Tell You No Lies_

_"How are you holding up?" Haley asked. "Still no word from Jake, huh? " _

_Peyton shook her head. "Not a one." she sighed dejectedly."Not a friggin' one..."_

_Haley squeezed her hand gently. "Peyton, I know this must be really hard for you." she said. "But I trully believe that wherever Jake is, you are always on his mind."_

_Peyton stared up at the ceiling. "Sure I am." she said quietly. "That's why my Cell has been ringing off the hook with his calls. Because I'm so on his mind and all."_

_Haley stared at her friend worriedly. "Peyton, it really is going to be okay." she said with conviction. "Jake is going to find Jenny and then he's going to come back and fight for her and be with you. And you'll all be together."_

_Peyton sighed. "And then we'll fly away on a unicorn and live happily ever after?" she said with disbelief. She shook her head. _

_" I don't believe in fairytales anymore Haley." she whispered. "Jake won't find my lost shoe. He won't kiss me and wake me up from a long deep sleep, okay? He's gone, and he's not coming back..."_

Once Upon a Time...

Jake didn't realize that his eyes were closed until he tried to open them.

But then the harsh, bright lights above him made him close them again. Slowly, with great difficulty he tried again, this time blinking and squinting to shield his eyes. It wasn't much use though; he felt like he was trying to look at the sun. From a foot away. And the pristine white ceiling and walls intensified the light making it hurt even more. He tried to move and a sharp pain shot through his right leg making him cry out in pain.

"Woah, careful there young man." He heard a kind voice say beside him. He turned his head as an older woman wearing a nurse's uniform hurried to his side.

"Careful." she said again resting a hand on his wrist and looking at her watch. "If you move too much, you might pop your stitches."

Jake looked at her startled. "Stitches?" he said, his throat dry and scratchy.

The nurse smiled as she continued to take his pulse, her eyes never leaving her watch but he saw concern flit briefly across her features before it disappeared into the creases of her forehead.

"Yes, stitches ." she said lightly as she dropped his wrist seeming pleased with the results.She folded her hands in front of her. "Do you remember what happened Mr.Jagielski? "

Jake frowned slightly trying to make sense of his thoughts. His mind was cloudy and his head hurt something fierce but he remembered what happened. Vaguely...

"I crashed my car..." He said slowly.

"Crashed?" The nurse said humorlessly. "Well that would be one way to describe it but I'd say that 'demolished' is a little more accurate."

Jake's eyes widened. Demolished? He remembered swerving to avoid the car in front of him but he'd only crashed into the guard-rail...hadn't he.?

"What happened?" he whispered hoarsely.

The nurse fixed his blanket and adjusted his pillows. "There was a pile-up on the highway that you were travelling on. From what I hear, no one is completely sure what happened exactly. Supposedly it was a combination of too many impatient drivers and construction on an overpass. Eight people were hurt pretty badly--you included."

Jake stared at her stunned. Had he contributed to the accident? He _had _been impatient and he was speeding but he'd been paying attention to how he was driving...hadn't he?Suddenly, he had a sneaking suspicion that he hadn't. He closed his eyes, angry at himself and the other drivers. How could he have been so careless? Now he'd never get to Peyton by the next afternoon! He'd planned to drive straight through all day and night and day again but he'd barely been halfway through Oklahoma when he'd gotten in the accident. He'd never make it to North Carolina by the next night if he was holed up in a hospital--and he needed to get to Peyton!He needed to see her face and hold her hand and talk to her--tell her to fight! He needed to get up and go, he couldn't just lie there--she needed him!

He tried to sit up, cringing as pain shot through his side. The nurse reached for him trying to still his awkward movements as he struggled to get out of bed.

"Hey---_hey_! Where do you think you're going?" she asked as she gently tried to restrain him." Lie down! You have twelve stitches in your side Mr. Jagielski, _and _a slight concussion and in case you haven't noticed, your right arm is broken."

Jake glanced down at his arm in surprise. Sure enough, his entire arm was covered in a smooth white encasement. He was wearing a cast and he hadn't even noticed. His thoughts had been so consumed with Peyton that he hadn't even realized that his arm was in immense pain! He lay back slowly as he suddenly felt his entire right side begin to throb. He cringed again and the nurse frowned as she watched him.

"The painkillers that we gave you must be wearing off..." she murmured. "Are you hurting all over or somewhere specific?"

"All over but mostly on all of my right side." Jake managed to mutter.

He exhaled loudly and stared at the stark white ceiling as Peyton's face hovered at the edge of his thoughts. He'd let her down. He couldn't believe how much he'd let her down again. And when she needed him the most...He felt a wetness on his cheeks and he closed his eyes tightly. He felt the nurse watching him as he roughly wiped his eyes with his left hand.

"It's going to be okay Mr. Jagielski." she said patting his arm soothingly. "Look on the bright side...you could have broken _both_ legs..."

Jake looked at her for a moment. Then he smiled slightly. "Yeah...I guess I could have..." he said slowly.He smiled at her halfheartedly. "And it's Jake." he said.

The nurse looked at him. "Pardon?"

"Jake." he repeated. "That's my name. Mr.Jagielski is my dad. Who, by the way, is going to be kicking my ass in the very near future for wrecking yet another vehicle."

The nurse laughed. "Yeah well...at least you have an ass to kick. Not everyone who passes through here is so lucky."

Jake sobered at that thought as Peyton faded into his thoughts again. How long was he going to have to stay in bed? And how the hell was he going to get out of Oklahoma?

"...so I'll be right back with some more pain medicine..." The nurse was saying. "but you have to _promise_ that you won't move." She looked at him sternly. "Promise?"

Jake nodded, smiling wryly. "I'll _try_." he offered.

The nurse sighed, with amusement. "That's all I can hope for I suppose."

She patted his leg and started to leave when he suddenly thought of something. "Wait...nurse?"

The nurse turned around. "Laura."

Jake's frowned confused. "Sorry?"

"It's _my_ name." she said. "_Nurse_ is what I do."

Jake chuckled appreciatively. "Oh...okay...Laura." he smiled at her. "I was wondering if there's a phone I can use? To call home?"

Laura tilted her chin towards the bureau beside him and he glanced down and saw a phone.

"Thanks." he said as he reached for it awkwardly with his left hand. She watched him manuever the phone carefully before she nodded and started for the door again.

"Laura." he called again. "Where's the nearest airport? I've never been to Oklahoma before so I have no idea where anything is."

Laura frowned confused as she stared at him. "Oklahoma? I've never been there either but the nearest airport here would be Raleigh International. It's really big. _Too _big if you ask me and it's about forty minutes away but there's a shuttle-bus and it's not too expensive..." Her voice trailed away as she stared at him. "Jake, what's wrong? " She asked quickly rushing to his bed. "Are you in more pain? What hurts?"

Jake was staring at her, his eyes wide with confusion and shock. "Did you say... _Raleigh_ International?" he asked. "I mean--because I thought that they only had one airport by that name. In North Carolina--"

"Yes..." Laura said, nodding slowly. "They do have it here in North Carolina." She fixed his pillows again unaware of his stunned disbelief as she studied him closely.

"You mean..." Jake said with growing comprehension. "We're in North Carolina right now? _I'm_ in North Carolina?"

Laura nodded. "Yes, Tree Hill North Carolina, to be exact." She noted the rapidly growing color on his face with satisfaction before she started for the door.

"Good. You're looking a little bit healthier already." She murmured as she walked towards the door."Regaining your color and everything! Honestly Jake, you are _really _lucky that all you got was a concussion and a broken arm. Most people who crash as badly as you did, don't wake up talking mere hours later. It's a miracle that you're even able to sit upright!" She paused at the door abruptly and looked at him as a sudden thought struck her.

"Why, just _last_ night we had a car crash victim come through here! Pretty girl... about your age." She shook her head sadly. "Tragic thing though. She's in a coma and the doctors don't expect her to make it through the night." She sighed before looking at him with the resilient smile of someone used to tragedy. "Well, I'll be right back with your pain medication okay? Don't worry Jake. The pain won't last. I know that it's unbearable right now, but it'll go away real soon. I promise."

* * *

Lucas's hands were on Haley's cheeks and her arms were around his waist as they stared at each other wordlessly. Slowly,reverently, he lowered his head and their lips touched again in another of the most sweetest of kisses that Haley had ever experienced. She felt her eyes fill with tears as his lips moved from her lips to her cheeks and her forehead as if he wanted to kiss every part of her face and he paused as he tasted her tears. 

"Why are you crying?" he whispered as he gently wiped them away.

"Because I'm so happy." she said smiling as he stared down at her. "I mean I never thought it would be possible to feel like this ever again..."

Lucas held her closer. "Like what?" he asked smiling as she looked up at him. He knew but he wanted to hear her say it.

Haley giggled as she caught his smile. "Like..._this_! Lucas, you know what I mean! Like I never want to be anywhere else but right here...with you."

Lucas grin widened as he brushed her hair from her forehead. "Oh, _that's_ what you meant!" he said causing her to poke him gently in the ribs before throwing her arms back around him.

He laughed at her expression as he looked at her, his face open and honest showing her everything that he was feeling at that moment. She knew that what he was feeling was reflected on her face and she caressed his cheeks as he tilted her head and kissed her. His kiss was longer this time and she held him closer as their tongues locked and moved together. She felt her whole body grow warm as the kiss grew more and more passionate until all she wanted to feel was his skin against hers.

As if he could read her mind, she suddenly felt Lucas lift her up in his arms and she gazed into his eyes as he carried her into his room and walked to his bed. He lay her down as gently as if she were the most fragile thing in the world before lying down beside her and reaching for her...and then their lips were touching again as their desire for one another encircled them both in its warmth, heating every touch between them. It was when she felt Lucas's hands slide under her shirt and touch her skin, that a thought rose into her mind. A thought that she'd previously pushed away. It grew inside her, overwhelming her mind until it was all that she could see and she froze in Lucas arms. He pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

She looked at him, her eyes wide in her face and he sat up slowly drawing her with him. He hadn't thought...he'd been so caught up in his feeling for her that he hadn't realized...maybe it was too fast for her. Maybe it was too soon...

"I'm sorry." he said softly touching her hair. "I'm rushing you, I know.We don't have to do this--it's too soon--"

"No." Haley whispered taking his hands, loving him even more for his gentleness with her. "It's not that Lucas." She looked into his eyes. "It's not too soon. I love you and I want you. I want to be with you so much..."

Lucas smiled softly,relieved that he hadn't rushed her. "And I want to be with you." he said running his hands through her hair. He saw her look away and frowned. "What's wrong, Haley?"

Haley looked into his eyes. She had to tell him. Everything was out in the open between them and she wanted it to always be that way between them. No matter what. She took a deep breath, before taking both of his hands in her own.

"Last night when I left here Luke...I was so upset, so _heartbroken! _I could barely see straight, I was so sad--"

"I know." Lucas whispered caressing her cheek. "I know baby, but that's over. We're together now--"

"I know." Haley breathed closing her eyes. She looked up at him and her eyes were filled with tears as she smiled. "I know, and I'm so happy Lucas. I love you so much and it feels..._so_ good to be here with you right now. But you see..." she paused. "I never thought this would happen. I thought we were over last night."

She looked into his eyes. "And so I went to Nathan's..." She felt Lucas grow tense and she continued, rushing before she could lose her nerve. "And Nathan was so kind, and he was there for me, you know? There like I wanted _you_ to be."

Lucas was staring at her silently now and the expression in his eyes...

She swallowed hard. "He kissed me Lucas." She finally said, abruptly. "He kissed me and I...I kissed him back."

She looked at Lucas and his eyes were suddenly guarded and still inside his face. She could see him trying to make it alright and failing miserably and suddenly she was talking fast.

"I have to tell you this Lucas." She whispered looking at him. "It's always going to be the truth between us from now on right? That's what we want." He looked away and she followed his gaze, locking her eyes with his own. "It wasn't--it wasn't innocent Lucas." She whispered with difficulty. "And it could have...it _would_ have gone farther..." She stared at him. " but I stopped it."

Lucas looked at her and she felt a stirring inside her chest. "Yes, I stopped it and I told him..." She reached for Lucas cheek relieved when he didn't pull away. "I stopped it and I told him that I was in love with you and I couldn't be with him."

Lucas seemed to breathe in all the air around him as his face slowly relaxed. He took a deep breath and stared at the bedspread briefly before looking at her. She could see relief written all over his face. "You told him that?" he asked quietly.

"Yes." Haley said. "And he wasn't okay with it at first but... then we started to talk and we opened up about _so_ much in a way that we had never done before." She smiled slowly. "And we were truly _friends_ for the first time Luke, I mean _real_ friends! It was...it was so great." She looked at him. "I really feel like for the first time this summer, Nathan and I finally let go of the past."

Lucas smiled softly. "I'm happy for you." he said sincerely. He took her hand. "I really am, Haley. I know that was something that you really wanted from the very start--you and Nathan becoming friends again. I know that it makes you happy having Nathan in your life."

Haley smiled back at him, her heart welling up at the genuine feeling in his eyes. She hadn't thought it'd be possible to love Lucas even more than she already did but...she felt her heart literally expand in her chest as he gazed at her and she took his hand.

"In _our_ lives Lucas. Nathan wants to be a part of your life too and I know that there's still some things that need to be fixed between you two but--"

"But we've both decided to try." Lucas said quietly and she looked at him in surprise. "Yesterday when we went to get Brooke's medication and find out where Peyton's dad was, we talked...a little." he admitted. He looked at her with a smile. "But we talked. _Without_ our fists. And it was the first time in a long time."

Haley smiled slowly, her eyes lighting with surprise. "You did?" she asked."You had an actual conversation?"

"Somewhat." Lucas said with a small grin. "It was more of a 'convo' than a 'convesation'. But it's a start...isn't it?"

Haley nodded, her eyes watering as she was again overwhelmed with love for the man in front of her."Yes. It is." she whispered.

She touched his cheek and suddenly all other thoughts melted away as she slid into his arms and kissed him slowly and passionately, relishing each moment as he held her.

She slid her hands into his shirt feeling the smooth, firm skin there as she pulled away to pull his shirt off.Their eyes locked as she threw it aside and slowly pulled her own shirt over her head. His eyes swept longingly over her body before he reached for her again and they lay back, their kisses growing feverish as she unbuckled his jeans and pushed them down.

Her mouth followed her movements as she kissed his chest and his navel and his waist, tasting him with her lips and her tongue. His skin was warm and taut against hers as she pulled his boxers down and kissed his thighs, licking and kissing a path back to his waist and his chest and finally his mouth.

She moaned against his lips, as he touched her, undoing and pulling her bra away so that he could taste her warm flesh. He kissed her nipples over and over, his fingers drifting down between her legs as he pulled off her jeans with his other hand. She arched against him and he watched her, loving the look in her eyes as she looked up at him, a gaze that said no one else could make her feel the way that he did. He caught her mouth again, their breathing stilted as their passion for one another rose around them enveloping them in its heat as the rest of their clothes hit the floor. Their bodies were slick against each other as she slid her legs around him and gripped his waist, straining against him and he reached inside the side bureau, barely able to stop himself as she whispered his name.

He kissed her softly then, holding her close and gazing at her for a moment before he pressed into her, and she gasped arching against him as he filled her, joining with her both body and soul. She gazed up at him, their eyes locking as he pressed into her again and again and she smiled her heart catching in her throat at his expression.

"I love you Haley." He whispered as she gripped him tighter, holding him impossibly close as they moved together as one,surrounding each other with their entire bodies over and over and over...until they fell against each other unable to move anymore.

His head was on her shoulder and he kissed her softly as she put her arms around him and parted his damp hair kissing him tenderly.

"I love you." she whispered.

He smiled into her shoulder and they held each other tightly as they tried to catch their breath.She smiled slowly as he nuzzled her neck.

"That was..."she said breathlessly. "_That_ was..."

"Amazing?" Lucas said in her ear, kissing a trail to her collarbone before he lifted his head to look at her."Earth-shattering? Mind-blowing?"

Haley giggled, sliding her hands down his shoulders and back. "Lucas, I don't know if there's even a _word_ to describe how you just made my body feel..." she said, smiling slowly.

Lucas grinned at her. "No word to des_cribe_ it?" he said stunned. "Haley James--_The_ Haley James can't think of a simple descriptive vocabulary word?" He kissed her forehead gently. "Wow, I really must have boggled your mind! There goes valedictorian!"

Haley smiled up at him. "Hmm...well, maybe not." she said slowly. "I think that I may have a solution to my sudden vocab-lapse..."

Lucas smiled back at her, feigning ignorance. "Oh really? And what's that?"

Haley slid her arms around him and pulled him closer.

"Do that to me again... slowly..." she whispered. "I'm sure that I'll figure out a word. At some point..."

Lucas chuckled huskily. "Anything for a worthy cause..." he said as he lowered his head to hers.

"Hurry, I'm forgetting more words..." she giggled."What does 'kiss' mean?"

Lucas laughed. "Let me show you..." he said softly. And then his lips were on hers and everything else seized to exist.

* * *

Jake waited impatiently as the nurse finally left his room. She'd been about to leave three different times when another tragic story would suddenly leap to her memory and she'd feel led to tell him. He had a sneaking suspicion that she was trying to scare him into driving safely _forever--_and it was working! If Jake had to hear _one_ more story about bones breaking in strange ways...! 

When she was gone, he slowly climbed out of his bed, gritting his teeth in pain as his feet hit the floor. He waited for the pain to subside before he slowly made his way towards his door. He had to get to the Intensive Care Unit. Fast.

He shook his head again in wonder as he tried to comprehend the strange circumstances that had brought him closer to Peyton than he'd ever expected.According to the nurse--or Laura--as she'd reminded him again, after the accident one of the drivers had had to be life-flighted to a special surgical hospital in North Carolina because of the way both of his legs had been broken. Since Jake had been unconscious at the scene, one of the medics had checked his wallet for information about who he was. After seeing his North Carolina license, they'd assumed that was where he was headed and decided to put him on the helicopter with the other accident victim.

And that was it. Suddenly an accident that seemed like the worse thing that could have happened to him, became the best. Proving to him even more that Peyton needed him. How could that be argued when even fate had stepped in to give him a hand? Eventhough it was quite a painful one...

Jake paused at his doorway and glanced down both sides of the hall before he slowly crept from his room. He was in too much pain to jog or even speed-walk so he moved steadily instead towards the elevator down the hall. Laura hadn't seemed suspicious when he'd asked where the ICU was but she was headed back to his room with some more painkillers, painkillers that would put him to sleep.And he couldn't let that happen. Now that he knew where he was, there was no more time to lose. He had to get to Peyton before it was too late. If she heard his voice, he just knew that she'd wake up, he just _knew..._

"Hey Jake...! Where do you think you're going?"

Jake looked back as Laura rushed down the hall towards him just as the elevator doors opened. He hurried inside ignoring his pain and quickly pressed the close-door button.

"Jake!" he heard Laura call. She rushed for the doors and he caught one last glimpse of her face, shrugging as their eyes met.

"Sorry Laura," he called. "I have a princess to wake." Then the doors closed.

* * *

Brooke sped down the road crying, her view impeded by her tears but she didn't let up on the accelerator. She just wanted to get away. As far away from Lucas and Haley as she could go. Far from their accusing eyes and their hatred...and their hurt. More than anything else that she'd seen in their eyes, the hurt had been the hardest to take. She wiped at her eyes, turning for the first time to gaze at her surroundings, feeling her heart wrench as she recognized where she was. She hadn't planned on going anywhere specifically, only wanting to distance herself from the two people she knew wanted her the farthest away from them and yet...here she was. Somewhere else she wasn't wanted. Before she could fully comprehend her actions, she'd slowed down and pulled over to the side of the street. She left her car idling for a moment, knowing in her heart that she should speed away without even a backward glance but instead she sat back in her seat. 

She stared up at the huge house in front of her as memories of all the times she'd spent there drifted through her thoughts. There'd been a lot of great times in that house. Some of them hadn't been so stellar but...she'd never been alone in those moments. There had always been someone there backing her up, going through it with her, caring about her...She'd always been surrounded by her friends.Her best-friends...Her eyes unfocused as she remembered the looks in each of their eyes when they'd realized what she'd done.

Nathan when he'd confronted her at Chacha's_..."All your lies and deceptions made me believe that maybe it was possible for Haley and me again. It made me believe that Haley and I had a chance."_ His eyes had been so cold as he'd stared at her_."...when you're all alone wondering where all your friends are, there's only going to be one person to blame.One guess as to who that's going to be."_

And Lucas and Haley's stunned expressions only moments ago..._"We aren't in the dark in more, Brooke! We know the truth now and we see you for who are. A lying, spiteful little--stranger."_ And Haley, so pale and overwhelmed..."_Who are you? I don't even know who you are, I mean---did I ever? Were you ever really my friend?" _Brooke closed her eyes tightly as she remembered the tone in her friends voice--like a little girl suddenly learning that Santa Clause wasn't real.She'd sounded like she was suddenly questioning everything that she'd thought she knew.

And then, finally, painfully, Brooke remembered the look in Peyton's eyes the previous night. And her parting words...  
_"I've finally seen you Brooke.The real you and everything you're capable of. Everything.I've seen your insides Brooke. And they are dark and twisted and ugly and I don't want to be apart of it anymore." _Her voice had broken on her words but her expression had never changed_... "You and I are no longer friends." _she'd whispered. _"I don't want to see you or hear you--or even be in the same room as you ever again! I hate what you've done---to all of us and I pity the poor idiot who tries to be your friend next. Because you don't know the meaning of the word."_

Brooke felt a wetness on her cheeks and she covered her face with her hands. Of all of them, Peyton had been the angriest and the most hurt. She hadn't though that Brooke was capable of hurting her and she'd been shattered when she'd found out that she was wrong. And she'd hated Brooke at that moment, Brooke had seen it in her eyes. Right before she...Right before she'd... Brooke couldn't even finish the thought. She shook her head, sobbing loudly, not caring who heard or saw. Lucas was right. If Peyton didn't make it, it was all her fault. _All _of it. She was responsible for Peyton running out of the house and getting into her car! If she hadn't lied to Lucas and Haley and hidden the letters--Peyton wouldn't be anywhere near a hospital bed, let alone in a coma! If her friend died, it would be because of her. Finally, though much too late she'd realized... that there was no one to blame but herself.

She closed her eyes as the tears started again and she didn't see the front door of the house she'd parked in front of, open or the person who stared out at her wordlessly. But she did hear the loud, insistent knocking on her window. She opened her eyes startled and gazed at the rigid face that stared at her before stiltedly pressing the button that would lower her window. She tried to catch her breath before she spoke.

"Hi--"

"What are you doing here?" Nathan asked coldly.

Brooke stared at him,stunned by the resentment resonating from his eyes.

"Nathan I--"

"Why are you parked in front of my house Brooke?" Nathan asked impatiently, hostility emanating from him in waves.

Brooke bit her lip. She'd been wrong to stop--very, very wrong. She had to get farther away, as far away as it would take to forget the looks in her friends eyes--the look that Nathan was shooting her even as she sat there. She swallowed with difficulty.

"I'm sorry." she whispered brokenly. "I didn't mean to---" She shook her head once before dodgedly starting her car. "I'll just go."

She turned the wheel intent on driving away but Nathan reached inside the car and turned it off. He turned and threw her keys on his lawn before looking at her, his eyes stark and navy in his face.

"No Brooke." he said quietly. "You're not going anywhere until you hear what I have to say."

* * *

Jake peeked out from the hall just in time to see two doctors walk out of the ICU. Their faces were grave and one was shaking his head grimly as they walked past him and he lept back and flattened himself against the wall. The doctors kept on walking and he breathed a silent sigh of relief that they hadn't seen him. Then slowly and stealthly, his eyes trained on the doctors, he quickly backed up until he felt the doors behind his hands.Then he noiselessly slid inside without a backward glance. He breathed a deep sigh of relief before quickly turning and walking further into the room. He pushed through several heavy curtains before he actually stepped inside the room and then... 

Then he froze. His eyes widened slowly as they settled on the person that he'd been searching for.

He'd found Peyton.

Only...it couldn't be her. Peyton's skin was fair and flawless but the girl lying unmoving in front of him had paper-thin skin that was almost translucent--it was so white. And Peyton--_his_ Peyton--wasn't that thin--was she? And the bruises...

Swallowing hard, he slowly walked to her side and stared down at her. The monitors were beeping steadily and it was all that he could hear in the silent room as he gazed down at the love of his life. Slowly, hesitantly he reached for her hand. It was cool and listless inside of his and he felt something break inside of him then. Something that he'd been holding back ever since Nathan's phonecall. Anguish. Anguish and desperation poured out of him as his grip on her hand tightened.

"Peyton..." he whispered. "Peyton it's me, Jake. I'm here." His eyes travelled over her face. "I'm here baby, you can wake up now."

He watched her closely, half-expecting her to blink sleepily and open her eyes--half-expecting her to smile up at him. But she didn't. She didn't move at all. Jake's grip tightened. He lowered his head close to ear and whispered quickly and lightly, knowing that she heard him, _willing_ it.

"Peyton, I'm sorry." he whispered. "I'm sorry I was gone so long." he stared at her. "The whole time I was away I only wanted to be with you--the _whole_ time. You and Jenny were the only things on my mind." He gazed at her as a tear fell from his face and dropped onto her cheek.

"Come on baby!" he said firmly. "It's time to wake-up. We have so much to talk about, _so_ much! I've found Jenny! I know where she is and I've filed for custody. My dad's lawyer says that I have a good case and I know that Jenny will be in our arms within the month." He smiled through his tears. "Won't that be great baby? You, me and Jenny together again? It will be. " he whispered. "But first you have to open your eyes."

He stared at her hard, believing that she would look at him. Hoping and praying that she would, but the only movement was the steady rise of her chest as she breathed softly.

The anguish inside of him increased growing into something more until suddenly he wasn't just Jake Jagielski, the tough, smart b-baller from Tree Hill that no one messed with and everyone respected. No, that Jake faded away, making room for the sad, desperate boy who wanted his girlfrind to wake up and look into his eyes more than anything else in the world..

"I need you Peyton." he said suddenly, wildly."I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But you have to wake-up first! You have to open your eyes and look at me! _Please..."_

But she didn't respond. She lay there, still and pale under his watchful gaze and Jake felt a slow, cold fear start to rise inside of him as he stared at her. He'd been so sure that all she would need in order to fight the coma was to hear the sound of his voice, the sound of his desperation and encouragement and then--she would wake up! She would snap out of her coma like the princess in some modern day fairytale, and they would live happily ever after.

But he'd been wrong. As he stared at her unmoving frame, his desperation turned into panic and he gripped her shoulders.

"Peyton!" he said loudly undetered by the quiet room. "Peyton, you have to wake-up! You have to beat this, baby, you _have_ to! For yourself, your dad, Jenny..." his voice trailed away as he stared at her. "And me Peyt." he cried. "I can't do this without you! I can't do any of this!" His tears were falling onto her face as he cried. "Please wake up Peyton, please!'

She didn't move and he closed his eyes and slowly rested his head on her shoulder."Please.." he whispered into her neck. "Please Peyton..." He felt her heart beating against his as he slowly lifted his head and looked at her. Then he lowered his head to hers and kissed her softly.

"I love you." he whispered against her mouth. "I love you and I always will. Forever..."

His eyes were closed as he held her...so he didn't see the sudden quickened rise of her chest as her breathing changed. Or her eyes slowly opening and blinking with difficulty against the dim light. He didn't see her hand twitch before slowly opening and closing. But he did feel her fingers as she lifted them and rested them on his head.

He froze at her touch before lifting his head and staring at her in stunned amazement."_Peyton_--?"

She smiled at him. It was weak and she did it slowly like it took great effort but it was _her_ behind the smile. It was all Peyton.

"You promise?" she whispered raspily.

Jake could barely speak, his throat was so full. But he managed it as he reached for her and shakily touched her cheek.

"Promise what?" he asked softly.

"That you'll love me forever?"

Jake felt like his heart was going to beat it's way out of his chest. He nodded as he reached for her face, gently bringing them closer until their eyes were locked and their noses were touching. His tears wet her cheeks as their faces touched.

"I will love you forever Peyton Sawyer." he whispered. "Forever and ever...and ever..."

And then he lowered his head...

And kissed the princess again.


	50. The Awakenings

The Awakenings

"Sir?...Sir! You're going to have to let go of her hand!..._Sir!_"

Jake barely heard the nurse's voice as he stared down at Peyton. He was even only moderately aware of the busy activity in the room that seemed to have suddenly materialized out of nowhere. Three nurses and two doctors surrounded Peyton's bed poking and prodding her with medical instruments--or at least they were trying too. Jake was mostly in their way and he knew that he needed to give them some room to do their jobs but...he couln't seem to let go of Peyton's hand, and her fingers were wrapped around his just as tightly. And neither of them were in any kind of hurry.

His eyes were moist as he looked down at her and they stared at each other in rapt silence. Peyton's smile was very weak but the happiness on her face mirrored his and her eyes were just as bright.

"Young man if you don't let go of Ms. Sawyer right now, we will be forced to call security to _escort_ you out!" One of the doctors threatened tensely.

"No..." Peyton whispered hoarsely.

"Okay." Jake said quickly. "Okay, I'll let go. But I'm not leaving this room." He looked at Peyton, his smile wide in his face."I'm never leaving this girl's side again."

Peyton smiled weakly and he lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it before resting it gently beside her and slowly backing away. The doctors and nurses converged on her right away and he looked around them, staying on the outskirts his eyes locking with hers as a nurse took her blood pressure.

He felt his heart constrict as she flinched uncomfortably but she gazed up at him bravely and smiled. Jake smiled back, his throat filling as he watched his girlfriend try to maintain her calm for his sake. It was all he could do not to reach for her again.

But he didn't. He stayed as close to her as he could without getting in the medical teams way and watched her protectively. He'd get his chance to touch her again as soon as the doctors were done making sure that she was okay. He'd get his chance to hold her and make sure nothing hurt her ever again. He smiled wryly at his irrational thoughts. Okay, he might not be able to protect her from _everything_. But he'd sure try his damdest. His eyes met hers again as the doctor's drew back and talked among themselves in quiet tones. He saw her eyes suddenly travel from the bruises on his face to his encased arm and widen worriedly.

"Jake, what--"

"It's okay, Peyt." He said quickly rushing to her side and picking her hand up gently. "I'm okay."

"What happened?" she whispered.

"It's a long, painful story." he said wryly, brushing the hair from her forehead. "And it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're awake and I'm here and we're together and..." his voice broke and he cleared his throat."...and I'm not going anywhere."

Peyton smiled slowly and turned her face into his hand on her cheek as he caressed it.

"What I want to know is how _you_ got in here." He said with a frown. "What happened Peyton?"

Peyton opened her eyes slowly and he saw a strange look pass across her face as she looked up at him. Then she smiled painfully.

"Now _that's _a long and painful story." She said ironically. But he heard the pain in her voice and he caught the strained look in her eyes...and he knew. Something bad had happened. He glanced at the doctors who were still talking before slowly pulling a chair closer to her bed and carefully sinking into it. He took her hand and leaned in close to her, watching as her eyes filled with tears.

"Tell me." he whispered. And she did.

* * *

"Nathan where are they?" Brooke said calmly, surveying the lawn around them. She was trying very hard not to cry but Nathan was not making it easy for her. And she couldn't even catch a glimpse of her keys on the acres of lawn around them. She squatted and looked through the grass carefully before glaring up Nathan who stood watching her without an ounce of compassion on his face. And something more broke inside of her.

"Nathan, where the hell are my keys!" she yelled despairingly.

Nathan smirked as he leaned against her car and folded his arms lazily. "Do you really think I'm going to tell you?" he asked incredulously. "Do you think that I am ever going to help you with _anything_ ever again?"

Brooke felt the tears start to come as she stared at him confusion in her eyes. "I thought you'd forgiven me." she said softly. "At Lucas', when I was going to tell them what I did, you looked at me and the look in your eyes..." she swallowed with difficulty. "I thought--"

"You thought wrong!" Nathan snapped. "I was looking at you with disdain, Brooke! Disdain and repulsion for what you did--for what you were about to say! For the other lives you were about to crap on--_that's _what you saw in my eyes in Lucas room." He glared at her as he shook his head. "Forgiveness? You really d_o_ have a twisted picture of things in Brooke's World, don't you?"

Brooke's face was pale as she stared at him, but she refused to let him break her down completely. She couldn't afford to lose anymore pieces of herself.Pretty soon there would be nothing left and she needed something. If only so that she could get away!

She shook her head angrily as she looked away and ran her hands through the grass again. She shouldn't have stopped at Nathan's house. She'd been so wrapped up in all the memories she'd had there when she saw it but she should _never_ have stopped. She'd known it even as she'd pulled up but she hadn't been able to stop herself and now--here she was suffering yet again for the worst mistake of her life! She shook her head as the tears streamed down her face and lifted her chin slightly, trying to maintain some dignity as she searched for her keys.But it was as if they had completely disappeared.

Nathan shook his head as he watched her. "Wow how the mighty have fallen!" he remarked coldly as she continued her search. "It doesn't feel good does it? Being made a fool of... It really sucks, huh?"

Brooke continued searching, trying to ignore him but it was like trying to ignore a giant zit on the end of her nose; Nathan was just--_there_ and he wasn't going anywhere. But neither was she.Until she found her keys, she was staying put--evil spawn of Dan Scott be damned.

"Yeah, it sucks." Nathan said, nodding thoughtfully. "Especially when someone who you thought was your friend is at the root of your misery." He glared at her. "You see I _do_ know how you feel Brooke. I know all to well how that feels. You made sure of that!"

Brooke closed her eyes, his words penetrating her like darts laced in poison.

"You used me." Nathan said, his voice suddenly quiet as he stared at her, his eyes clouded with confusion and betrayal. "We were friends and you _used _me and nothing else mattered but you! Certainly not how _I _felt. You didn't even care--"

"No!" Brooke whirled around, standing to her feet as she stared at him. "That's not true Nathan! I cared about you--I _care_ about you--"

"Bullshit Brooke!" Nathan yelled. "You don't care about me, you never did! You couldn't care about me and do what you did--You couldn't!You don't care about anyone but yourself!"

"That's not true!" Brooke sobbed."Nathan, I was angry okay! I was angry and hurt and sad--I could barely think straight. All I wanted to do was hurt Lucas and Haley! I wanted them to feel what I felt for even a little while--just a little!" Tears streamed down her cheeks as she stared at him, her words growing more and more incoherent as she cried. "I didn't want to hurt you but I wasn't thinking clearly! I wasn't thinking about anything but making them hurt like I was hurting--and--and I wanted to stop hurting Nathan! I couldn't think beyond that--I didn't think about the fallout, I didn't think about you, about _any_ of you--and I'm sorry-- I'm _sorry_!" She fell to her knees and covered her face. "I'm so sorry Nathan! Please--_believe_ that---believe me!Please...Oh God, Peyton..._Peyton! _What did I _do?_..."

Nathan watched her, his face set even as his jaw worked and his own eyes filled. And then he was on his knees beside her and his arms were around her."Shh..." he whispered into her hair. "Okay. It's okay. I believe you. I believe you Brooke..."

Brooke cried into his arms, her fingers clutching at his sleeve as her sobs rocked their bodies.

"I'm sorry Nate. I just want to go back!" she cried." I want to go back and do it over. Can't I do it over?"

Nathan had no answers for her as he held her tightly. He'd been wishing he could go back in time since the day after he'd handed his lawyer the papers that ended his marriage. Unfortunately it couldn't be done. The girl that he loved was in love with his brother. And life would go on long before his pain faded away and there was nothing that he could do about it. Nothing.

But...the pain _would_ go. Eventually. At some point it would all stop hurting so damn much. He knew that. And suddenly...that was enough. As he held the girl that had helped create the ache inside of his chest, some of it started to ebb away. Forgiveness would come eventually too. But love had never left and he'd loved Brooke for a long time. He even remembered when his feelings for her had changed from affection to something more steadfast and true.

They had been in elementary school and while his father had been brow-beating him for scoring less than another player in a game that _they_ had won, he'd glimpsed a group of cheerleaders and basketball players approaching them through the window behind his father's back. Dan Scott didn't care about appearances back then so he never held back in front of anyone and Nathan had braced himself preparing for his world to end...and then he'd met Brooke's eyes. She'd seen them through the glass and somehow...she'd known. She'd just..._known_. Years later he met her father and understood _why_ but right then, he'd simply stood transfixed as she smiled at him slowy before turning to block the path to the room that he and his father were in.

Nathan had watched as she said something to the group that had them laughing their heads off before they turned and walked away. But Brooke had stayed, guarding the door as other people tried to get in saying whatever she had to to get them to go away. Finally his father had stormed out and Brooke had sauntered in, her eyes on Nathan. He'd stared at her, his face hot with embarassment expecting her to say one of the biting, sarcastic comments she was already known for. But all she'd done was shake her head wryly.

"Fathers..." she'd sighed. "You can't live with them, you can't live without...their credit cards."

They'd looked at each other for a moment, erupting into laughter before they hurried to join their friends, but he'd love her from that moment on. That small moment between being _called_ a friend and becoming a _real_ friend who knew the truth about your life and still wanted you to be okay before they returned to the shallow reality of what was on the surface to everyone else. He'd needed her at that moment and she had come through for him. And eventhough the circumstances were very different, at that moment _she_ needed him.

And so even as his heart ached...he held her close.

* * *

"Brooke did _what?"_

Peyton flinched and Jake lowered his voice. He'd had to put up a hell of a fight to be able to stay in Peyton's room with her and he knew that the doctors would kick him out in a flash if he so much as breathed wrong, so he took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. But as Peyton looked up at him, her eyes sad and olive green against her pale skin,it was all he could do to not go searching for Brooke himself.

"She hid your letters from me for a few days." she said slowly. She was still very weak and the doctors had told her to take it very easy but she wanted Jake to know everything. She swallowed hard.

"She hid them because she found out that Lucas and Haley were seeing each other secretly and she--"

Jake's eyes widened. "Wait a minute...Lucas and Haley what?" he said more calmly than he did before with as much stunned disbelief.

Peyton looked at him patiently. "Lucas and Haley have been seeing each other secretly for several weeks now, Jake. Brooke and Nathan know now but...they didn't for awhile." She paused and took another strained breath before continuing. "When Brooke found out, she got... angry to say the least and she used Nathan to get revenge on them, and her revenge...her revenge included Nathan falling in love with Haley again. Which he did..." She sighed."His heart's really broken right now..."

Jake's eyes were wide as he shook his head slowly. "I was only gone for a couple months..." he said softly, his voice filled with bewilderment.

Peyton smiled slightly but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "It seemed longer than that." she whispered.

Her eyes were shiny and Jake gently pushed the hair from her forehead before kissing her softly.

"I know." he whispered. "I know..."

They looked at each other before he rested his head on her shoulder and she reached for his good hand and held it to her chest. They lay like that for a long moment before he pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.

"So where are you with this?" he asked slowly, his eyes dark and intent in his face. "Where does this leave you with Brooke?"

Peyton stared at him, her face cool and calm under the stark light of the room.

"Where does that leave me and Brooke..." she murmured, her voice soft and thoughtful as Jake watched her, marvelling at how much she resembled an angel, caught up again in how beyond lucky he was that he was sitting beside her, talking to her and holding her hand and looking into her eyes...

Peyton stared at him pensively as he studied her.

"What are you thinking?" he asked finally as she gazed up at him silently.

Peyton smiled. "I think that we need to call my friends who are probably freaking out even as we speak and tell them that I'm awake."

Jake grimaced. "Damn. I probably should have done that right away,huh?" He looked at her smiling softly. "It's just...when I saw you open your eyes...everything else seized to matter."

She grinned. "I know the feeling." she whispered. Jake squeeze her hand gently before standing slowly and backing away.

"I think I saw a phone in the hallway." he said resolutely. "I'll make the calls."

Peyton smiled. "Thank you." She whispered, their eyes locked as he continued to back out of the room. He reached the door and turned to leave, freezing for a minute before he turned and walked back to her bed.

"Forgot something..." he whispered.

Peyton looked at him curiously."What?"

"This." he said bending his head towards hers.

Their lips touched softly before locking and growing into something more passionate than any of the kisses they'd shared since he'd first walked into the room. He put everything that he felt into the kiss, and everything that he had felt until she'd opened her eyes and looked into his and Peyton felt it all. Both their cheeks were wet when they pulled apart and Peyton smiled shakily as he stared down at her.

"Am I crying, or are you?" she whispered shakily.

Jake smiled softly. "I'm sorry for leaving you Peyton." he whispered. "I won't do that again."

She smiled slowly, her eyes full as she reached for his cheek and drew his head down to hers until their lips were touching. And for a moment, everything else was forgotten...again.

* * *

Haley stared across the bed where Lucas lay staring back at her and smiled slowly.They'd been lying there in silence for awhile just staring at each other, memorizing features that they'd known for years, relishing the close proximity of each other's bodies. They could even feel their heartbeats beating together in the mattress underneath them, a feeling that only brought them closer to one another even as cool air rushed between their bodies. Lucas grinned as Haley slowly caressed his leg with her toes.

"You're too far away." she whispered softly.

Lucas grin widened. "I agree." he said quietly. "But if I come any closer I will ravish every part of your body again and frankly I don't think you have the energy."

Haley grinned."Good point." she giggled. "Come closer anyways."

Lucas slid closer to her before the words were out of her mouth and kissed the most sensitive part of her neck and she giggled, sliding her arms around his neck to hold him close. They lay like that for a moment, loving the feel of their bodies pressed together, neither of them wanting to let go. She was the first to pull away,leaning back slightly so that she could look into his eyes. She ran a hand through his hair and kissed his forehead.

"Is this okay, Lucas?" she whispered suddenly. "Feeling so happy while Peyton..." The rest of her words faded away as she closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his.

"Hales,Peyton is going to be okay." Lucas said comfortingly. He kissed the tip of her nose and caressed her back."Peyton's a fighter. She'll fight this." Haley looked into his eyes. "You think so?" she whispered.

Lucas nodded. "I know so." he said confidently.

She closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder as another thought seeped into her mind. A thought that she couldn't avoid or ignore.She didn't want to voice it. Part of her felt that as long as she didn't say the words, they wouldn't be true. But another part of her...

"Is it...is it our fault Luke?" she whispered hesitantly. "If we'd told Brooke right from the start she never would have hidden Peyton's letters and then Peyton wouldn't have gotten into that accident and--"

"Stop." Lucas said pulling away from her slightly so that he could look into her eyes. "Don't even think it, Haley okay? Peyton didn't get into that accident because of _us_."

Haley heard the subtle inflection in his voice and she gazed at him intently. She took a deep breath.

"And it wasn't anyone else's fault either Lucas." she said slowly. "It was a tragic accident that's all."

Lucas stared at her. "Haley it wasn't just an accident." he said quietly. "Peyton was trying to get away. She was hurt and she was running and she didn't pay attention when she was pulling out of the driveway because of one person._One,_ Haley."

They stared at each other intently for a moment. And it felt so good to be in Lucas arms, to be held by the person she loved most in the world but...Brooke wasn't the only one to blame for what had happened and eventhough she'd done the most damage...Haley gently extracted herself from Lucas arms and sat up.

"Where are you going?" he pouted adorably.

Haley smiled. "Over here. I can't think clearly when I'm in your arms and..." She took a deep breath."...we have to talk about this Lucas.We have to talk about...about Brooke."

Lucas sighed. "No we don't." he said pulling her back down into his arms. "I want to talk about more interesting things." he said softly. "Like how long it would take for you to scream my name if I..." he whispered the rest into her ear and she laughed.

"Lucas Scott, you dirty, _dirty_...gorgeous piece of sexy man, you..." she whispered as he kissed a pathway down her back starting at the nape of her neck.

"Luke..." she whispered gasping as he slid his tongue against her spine. "We need to..oh!.. talk about..talk about..this..oh Luke.."

She trembled against his mouth, moaning as his hands slid over her body and his mouth slid lower and lower...

Suddenly his phone rang loudly. They both ignored it, lost in the heated passion that they ignited inside of each other but it continued endlessly and Lucas finally broke away from her grabbing it from the side bureau.

"This _better_ be important." he said breathlessly into the phone as Haley kissed his shoulder, her teeth grazing his collar bone. Lucas tilted his head into her, kissing her cheek softly before his body suddenly stilled.

"_Jake?"_ He said incredulously. Haley stared at him, her eyes wide and Lucas gazed at her stunned.

"You're in Tree Hill?" he said loudly."What--I mean where..."

His voice faded away and Haley sat up slowly, her eyes locked on his as she watched his face pale. She felt her heart drop into her stomach. Peyton...

"Alright man..." Lucas was saying. "Yeah Haley's here with me...okay we'll be there...yeah see you." He closed his phone and looked at Haley and she braced herself preparing for the worst.

"What happened?" she asked quietly."Peyton--"

"Peyton's awake." Lucas said, a slow smile spreading across his face. "She's awake and she's okay and she's asking for us."

Haley felt her heart stop before starting up again as Lucas grabbed her in his arms and hugged her tightly. She clung to him, relief making her light-headed as her eyes filled with tears. She closed her eyes.

"She's okay." she whispered. "She's okay..." She pulled away from Lucas and smiled through her tears.

"She's okay Luke." she whispered again."Just like you said she'd be.Just like you said..."

Lucas smiled as he gently wiped away her tears, momentarily humbled into silence as he stared at the unbending trust emanating from the eyes that could barely look at him only the day before. He leaned forward and kissed her softly. Then he smiled .

"Let's go see our friend."

* * *

Brooke had stopped crying a long time ago. But she continued to cling to Nathan, already dreading the moment when she would pull away and another friendship would come to an end. So she didn't pull away from him and he continued to hold her close. She closed her eyes and turned her face into the soft fabric of his shirt.

"I'm sorry Nathan." she whispered. "I don't know if I can say it enough--if you'll ever really know how sorry I am for using you the way that I did. And for...for helping to break your heart."

She felt Nathan inhale sharply before he slowly let out a long breath. He was quiet for a moment. And then he pulled away from her, his hands still on her arms and looked into her eyes.

"I..." he paused and his eyes were serious and intense in his face. And then he continued. "I forgive you Brooke."

Brooke stared up at him, afraid to move or breathe. As if sudden movement might make his words disappear.

"You do?" she whispered brokenly."_Really_?"

Nathan nodded. "Yes Brooke. I do." He took a deep breath. "I'm letting it go.It was done and I'm still hurting but...it's over. And I forgive you."

Brooke sat back and stared at him. He was telling the truth, she could see it all over him. Even as he looked back at her, the bitterness and resentment was fading from his eyes and the tightness in his jaw was gone. She tried to smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Part of her still couldn't believe it. Part of her wanted to know why. As if he could read her mind, Nathan looked down at the ground and started to explain.

"I wouldn't admit it to myself that day at Chacha's when I told you that I knew." he said quietly. "But I..." he paused." _Part_ of me understands what you did and why you did it." He looked at her his eyes narrowed with pain and took a deep breath. "Part of me even feels like...like I might have done the same thing." He looked away. "I don't know, and I guess I never will. And I hate that I understand what you did...even a little, and I hate what being hurt is trying to do to me."

His expression was tense and severe as he looked at her. "I refuse to become my father, Brooke. I refuse to let bitterness and anger make me hard and cold. I won't be like him, I won't.And I can't judge you for something that even makes a little bit of sense to me." He looked at her. "So I forgive you."

Brooke felt a wetness on her cheeks and she slowly reached for Nathan's hand. He didn't pull away and she felt a stirring of something like hope burst inside her chest.

"Thank you." she whispered. "Thank you Nathan."

Nathan looked down at her hand before slowly covering it with his own and she started to cry softly. She hadn't thought that it would be possible. She didn't think that any of her friends would talk to her again, least of all forgive her. But here she was. Sitting on Nathan's front lawn, holding his hand and crying. It gave her a strange feeling of hope. A feeling that she'd lost somewhere between finding out about Lucas and Haley and sitting there on the grass. She'd forgotten how it felt but... there it was. Stirring around inside of her. Nathan had forgiven her. Cool, proud, tough Nathan whose heart was a mangled mess even at that moment. And yet there he was right by her side. Comforting _her_! She bit her lip as a thought that she hadn't allowed herself to even think about, whispered through her thoughts. Maybe...She looked at Nathan, a tiny light of wonder shining in her eyes.

"Nathan." she said softly. "Do you think--"

She was interrupted by the sound of Nathan's phone ringing in his back pocket. He stood and glanced at the caller ID before quickly answering it.

"Hello?"

Brooke watched as his facial expression changed drastically from one of tense uncertainty to stunned disbelief before fading into blank incredulity.

"What?" she heard him gasp. "You're kidding!" A relief so intense she could feel it, passed across his features as he closed his eyes and she felt her throat close-up.It was about Peyton. She knew it as surely as she knew her own name. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, allowing herself a small smile. Peyton was okay. Peyton...

"Yeah...yeah I'll be right there." he said slowly as color returned to his face. He was about to hang up when the voice on the other line said something that stopped him and Brooke stared transfixed as he frowned suddenly. "No, she's right here with me." he said his voice laced with surprise.He glanced at her and her heart fell inside her chest.

"Yeah okay." Nathan was saying. "Yeah, I'll tell her." He nodded. "See ya man."

He slowly flipped his phone closed as Brooke stood, her eyes trained expectantly on his face. "Nathan?" she said her voice barely above a whisper.

He turned and looked at her, a slow smile spreaing across his face. "That was Jake. He's at the hospital with Peyton."

Brooke's mouth fell open. "What?" she said incredulously.

Nathan was nodding. "Yeah he's there with her and..." he stared at her. "She's awake." His voice filled with wonder as he spoke.

"Peyton's awake and she's going to be alright."

Brooke closed her eyes as a huge breath expelled from her lungs. "Thank God." she whispered shakily."Thank _God_."

Nathan was staring at her strangely and she gazed back at him uncertainly. "W-what?" she asked.

"Jake said that Peyton's wants to see us. _All_ of us."

Brooke froze. "_All.._ of us?" she barely managed to whisper.

Nathan nodded slowly. "Yes. All of us." His eyes were on her face and she could tell by his voice that he was as shocked as she was. "But Jake said that she was specifically asking for you."

"You mean--"

"Yes." Nathan said slowly. "Peyton wants to see you Brooke. She wants to see you right now."


	51. The Unforgiven

Kayla, aww... thank you! Anissa, Elsewhere, Mongoose, Mia, Miersi, Lexi--I appreciate all of your reviews SO much! Thanks for continuing to read no matter what I throw at you! Keep it up ;)

_Previously in JAST..._

_If These Stars Could Speak_

_"Wow, I've really missed that smile."_

_Haley opened her eyes and stared up at Nathan who stood watching her, a tiny smile playing across his features. She smiled at him._

_"What smile?" she asked teasingly._

_"Your 'I'm really happy' smile." He grinned at her. "You have about four different smiles you know." he said pointedly._

_Haley's eyebrows arched with surprise. "Oh really..." she said_

_Nathan nodded. "Yeah, there's your 'gee, that's really stupid, please go away' smile and your 'I'm so much smarter than you, but oh well' smile. Then there's your 'I'm really unhappy, somebody save me smile'..." he paused and looked at her. "and of course your 'I'm really happy' smile." He tilted his head at her. "That one was my favorite." _

The Unforgiven

Haley gazed at Lucas as he drove.Her hands were in his hair and she was sitting impossibly close to him despite her seatbelt but her eyes were all over him, studying him as he drove them to the hospital. Lucas grinned slowly. His eyes were on the road but her gaze was so intense that he could literally feel them on him. He glanced at her.

"Something on your mind?" he teased.

Haley smiled faintly. "How can you tell?"

Lucas chuckled. "Well not that I mind..._at all..._" he said. "but if you sit any closer to me, _you'll_ be driving!"

Haley giggled. "I'm sorry." she said starting to pull away but Lucas reached over and moved her closer to him.

"Like I said..." he murmured as she looked at him. "I don't mind."

He leaned over and kissed her before looking back at the road and she snuggled closer to him. She sighed as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I didn't even realize how close I was sitting..." She said wonderingly. She frowned thoughtfully."I can...I can barely stand to be away from you.It's like a part of me..." she paused."...a part of me can't get over how close I came to losing you."

Lucas looked at her for a moment before looking away. His eyes were on the road as he kissed her head gently. "I know." he said quietly. "I know Hales..."

He held her even closer and she bit her lip as she readied herself for what she was about to say.

"It's making me think about...about how Brooke must of felt--" She felt Lucas grow tense and she continued quickly. "How she must have felt when she realised that she'd lost you."

"Haley---."

She looked at him. "Lucas, I'm not saying that what she did wasn't wrong--"

"Because it was."

"I know." Haley said softly. "I know it was. And she hurt alot of people.But I...I understand the pain that she must of felt. Pain that we caused Luke."

Lucas glanced at her, disbelief shining from her eyes."Haley you can't possibly be comparing what _we_ did to what Brooke did! We didn't hurt anyone on purpose! We didn't set out to hurt anyone at all!"

"But we did, Luke." Haley said softly.

Lucas shook his head. "Haley, the only way that anyone would have gotten out of this unscathed would have been if we had ignored our feelings and stayed away from each other. And that would have hurt _us! _Could you have done that?"

Haley shook her head as the thought of being without Lucas gripped her again. She rested her chin on his shoulder as she gazed at him."No."

"Me neither." Lucas said quietly. He looked at her, briefly kissing her forehead before turning his attention back to the road.

"I'm not saying that we're blameless in this Hales." he said softly as she rested her head against his shoulder again. "But what Brooke did was horrible and wrong on _so_ many levels. She purposely set out to hurt us Haley, and she almost succeeded. There's no way around it."

"I know." Haley said quietly, thoughtful. "I know that. But when I think about what losing you would do to me...well I can understand her pain Luke."

"Haley--"

"Yes, what she did was wrong." Haley interjected. "But it makes it easier to understand when I put myself in her shoes.Losing you damaged a part of her--it's like...she changed! And that different Brooke is the one who hurt us. I mean, I can't help but wonder...what if that had been me?"

"You would never do what Brooke did Haley." Lucas said evenly.

"Maybe not, " Haley said slowly. "but realizing what caused her to do it makes it harder to hate her. " Haley was silent for a moment. "And I don't." she said suddenly. "I don't hate her, Luke. Not even a little."

She looked at Lucas, her chin on his shoulder as she watched him. His jaw was rigid and tense and his eyes were stormy and blue-gray as he stared at the road but he didn't say a word.

Haley gazed at him. "Baby--"

"She almost destroyed us Haley." he said quietly. "Almost eradicated everything you and I have--even our friendship! She _drugged_ me almost causing me to hurt you in the worst possible way and manipulated you into Nathan's arms...she played with my brother's heart like it was silly putty...she--she created a situation that ended with Peyton lying in a coma--_she _did all that Haley, no one else!"

His voice was as hard and smooth as stone as he stared out of the windshield, unwavering and still.

"I'm...I'm glad that you don't hate Brooke, Haley. I knew you wouldn't because that's not who you are and I love who you are. But I don't feel the way you do about this. Brooke Davis almost ruined our lives and the lives of the people that I care about most in the world and I will never forgive her for that. _Never."_

_

* * *

_

"You're kidding right?"

Nathan stared at Brooke, his forehead wrinkled with disbelief as they sat in the parking lot of the hospital. Brooke was shaking her head.

"No I'm not Nathan." she whispered. "I can't do it. I can't see Peyton. I can't go up there and look into her eyes after everything I've done... I just--I _can't!_"

Nathan's frown deepened. "Brooke, Peyton specifically asked you to come. She wants you here."

Brooke stared at him. "But--"

"But nothing! You may not want to look at her but she wants to see you! And if it's only to spit in your face and call you a bitch and tell you how much she hates you...you owe her this. You _owe_ her Brooke."

Tears streamed down Brooke's face as she stared at Nathan. He was right. She knew it as surely as she knew that his eyes were blue. But she was terrified. She knew what was coming. Karma was a bitch that was calling her name, nice and loud. But she couldn't make herself get out of Nathan's car. Except for the extreme trembling in her legs, she couldn't move at all. She stared at Nathan wordlessly and Nathan slowly shook his head.

"Wow." he said wonderingly gazing at her with a mixture of pity and condemnation in his eyes. "Just when I think you can't possibly surprise me anymore..."He slowly climbed out of his car as she watched him, a look of desperation in her eyes.

"Nate, can you please--"

"No." he interrupted her. "No I won't. If you have something to say to Peyton, you sure as hell are going to tell her yourself. I'm not doing anymore of your dirty work Brooke."

He turned and stalked away and Brooke watched him go as her silent tears turned to sobs that shook her whole body as she cried.

* * *

Haley could barely contain herself as she walked through the halls of the hospital towards Peyton's room. She could barely breathe, she was so excited. Peyton was awake! And she was okay! Haley could hardly let herself believe it. Only the night before she had been mentally preparing herself for bad news and here she was holding Lucas hand, on her way to see Peyton who was not only awake but had the love of life by her side! She shook her head as she tried to make sense of it all in her head and Lucas smiled down at her. 

"What are you thinking?" he asked softly.

Haley grinned up at him. "I'm thinking I can't believe this is happening!" she said wonderingly. "I can't believe how lucky we all are!"

Lucas stopped outside of Peyton's door and looked into her eyes before softly drawing her face closer to his own.

"I can't believe how lucky I am..." he whispered as their lips touched and he kissed her, his emotions barely contained as he wrapped his arms around her.

She felt his kiss down to the tips of her toes, falling into him so that she wouldn't drop at his feet. Lucas kisses had a way of making her feel completely boneless, like she could float away at any moment. Her thoughts flew from her mind as his kiss grew deeper and they became completely unaware of their surroundings and their purpose...and the nurses who passed them trying to hide their smiles...and the doctors with arched eyebrows...and _Nathan_...

Nathan stared at the enraptured couple standing in front of Peyton's door, motionlessly. He didn't flinch or grimace or even turn and walk in the opposite direction. He just felt. And he didn't feel very good.

There was an ache in his heart that had spread throughout his chest ever since the night he'd learned the truth abou Haley and Lucas. And though it had melted into the background as he'd been forced to deal with Brooke's betrayal and Peyton's accident, it hadn't disappeared.

Still...as he watched his brother kiss the girl that he still loved...it didn't get worse. And he didn't feel any anger or bitterness or any of the things that he expected to feel when he saw them together. He felt...pain but experience had taught him that eventually that pain would fade away. And what was more amazing was that even more than that pain and hurt he felt was...peace. Nathan was at peace. Because he could see it._Very_ clearly.

The love that Haley and Lucas had for each other, surrounded them like a beacon of light that everyone around them could see. They were in love. Hopelessly and completely. And deep down, in the place inside of him that would always love Haley, was happiness. He was happy for her. A little part of him was even happy for _them_. And...it was a start.A very big one.

He took a deep breath before clearing his throat. Loudly.

Haley pulled away from Lucas, a huge smile on her face...until she saw him standing there.

"Nathan!" she said unhappily.

Nathan smiled slightly. "Hey. Sorry to interrupt I...I just wanted to...you know, get into the room..."

"Yeah...yeah ,it's no problem man..." Lucas said apologetically, his hands jammed deep into his pockets.

He looked at Haley, the expression in his eyes reflecting hers. They were both so happy that they hadn't taken a moment to remember that there was someone else whose heart had been broken even more than their own.

Nathan smiled akwardly. "Did you guys go in yet?"

"No." Haley shook her head slowly. "We just...we just got here."

"We're about to go in though." Lucas added.

Nathan nodded. "Okay.." he said staring at the floor.

The three of them stood in silence, none of them knowing what to do or say.

Finally Haley looked at Lucas. "Luke would you mind giving us a second?" she asked softly. "I need to talk to Nathan."

Lucas nodded quickly. "Sure. Okay." he said quietly. He reached for her hand and squeezed it comfortingly before glancing at Nathan again.

"I'll see you in there." he said before walking inside and shutting the door behind him.

Haley and Nathan looked at each other for a moment.

"I'm sorry." Haley finally said. "For..that. I shouldn't have--"

"You shouldn't have what?" Nathan chuckled. "You shouldn't have kissed the guy you love? Okay apology accepted."

Haley tilted her head at him, a small smile playing across her lips. "No." she whispered, her face turning serious. "I knew you were coming here. I should have thought about you--about how you'd feel seeing us..."

Nathan looked away. It was hard to look at Haley's face directly without remembering. And wishing...He shook his head slowly clearing his thoughts.

Haley took a deep breath. "I need to explain---"

"Haley. " he said finally looking at her. "I know what happened. I know what Brooke did... and I know that you and Lucas are together now."

Haley frowned. "What? How--"

"Brooke told me." he said quietly." She told me everything. She told me what she did to you guys and Peyton...and me."

Haley's expression turned somber as she looked at his face. She reached for his hand but thought better of it and hugged herself instead. "So you know...everything." she said quietly.

Nathan nodded. "I had my suspicions the night of the club opening when we...found her and Lucas together. Her reaction...it didn't fit.I confronted her about it but she denied it."

Haley's frown deepened. "So how did you---"

"She told me all the ugly details just now." Nathan said quietly. "...on our way to the hospital."

At Haley's puzzled stare, he sighed. "She's in my car."

Haley's mouth fell open. "Brooke's in your car?"

Nathan nodded. "She came over after she left Lucas' place and she was with me when Jake called." He looked at Haley. "Peyton asked to see her but..." his voice faded away and Haley nodded slowly. She could almost understand. If she were in Brooke's place...well she didn't know what she'd do either. Still,she hoped...

She shook her head. It didn't matter what she hoped. Brooke needed to decide things for herself. What Haley needed to do was talk to Nathan. She needed to tell him...She opened her mouth uncertain about what she was going to say but Nathan stopped her. He smiled.

"It's okay Haley. "He said quietly. "I'm fine...and I understand, you don't have to explain."

Haley stared at him and her eyes began to fill. He was being so strong, so amazing but she knew him and she recognized the look in his eyes. He was hurting. And she'd helped to cause it.

"Nathan.." she whispered but he shook his head and suddenly their arms were around each other.

"I understand Haley." he whispered and his voice broke but he continued as she hugged him back tightly. " And I'm not angry...even a little. I think that...a part of me has always known that you and Lucas had something. Something deeper than either of you realized. But now you do and eventhough it hurts..." he pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes. "I'm happy for you and I wouldn't change a thing if what you and Lucas have is what put that smile back on your face."

Haley smiled up at him through her tears. "What smile?" she asked.

Nathan grinned back at her. "My _favorite _smile." He said softly. "Did you know that you have four?"

Haley smiled softly. "Some gorgeous hottie told me that once I think."

Nathan chuckled. "Really? Do tell..." he said as he wiped away the tears on her cheek.

They smiled at each other, feeling for a moment like they were the only two people in the entire world that had made it through impossibly complicated odds. And were closer for it.

And then...Nathan stepped away from her. And just like that, they were no longer lovers but two great friends who loved each other. And the pain that he felt was somewhat less than it had been because it had already begun to heal.Finally.

Nathan took a deep breath before he tilted his head and opened the door to Peyton's room. "Shall we?"

Haley curtsied cutely, an act that proved to be very difficult in her Frankie B jeans. "We shall." she smiled.

They walked in together.

* * *

Peyton could not take her eyes off of all her friends. They looked so beautiful, standing there surrounding her protectively like they would hurt whatever tried to get at her next. She'd never felt more loved. 

She smiled as she gazed at each of them, her eyes resting on Haley and Lucas. From the moment Haley had entered the room and taken Lucas hand, they'd been locked together like a golden chain that couldn't be broken--a chain that nobody would ever break again. She could barely keep from smiling at the sight of them but she tried very hard. For Nathan's sake. She looked at him. Nathan for the most part looked..well, he looked okay. Peyton knew him well enough to know that he wasn't completely alright but still...The smile on his face was genuine and when he looked at Lucas and Haley, there was no anger or bitterness in his eyes. There was some pain...but not too much. He was handling it and handling it well. Peyton felt her respect for Nathan shoot up to the nth degree. She was more impressed with him at that moment than she'd ever been in all her years as his girlfriend and cheerleader that had seen him beat team after team on the court. None of those Nathan-led undefeated games held a candle to the Nathan that stood before her now.

Their eyes met and she smiled at him,telegraphing everything she felt in the tilt of her lips. Nathan smiled back, the touch of sadness in his eyes overpowered by his relief and happiness over her recovery. There was also forgiveness and acceptance there and Peyton nodded slightly as he grinned at her. He'd said it all in that one look: he'd forgiven her for her part in his heartbreak and he was happy for her. He nodded back and Peyton grinned as she looked at the one person who hadn't let go of her hand since he'd walked in the room. Jake stared down at her, his eyes travelling across her face as if he was trying to memorize every one of her features. Every once in a while he would squeeze her fingers gently as if he was trying to make sure that she was real and not a figment of his imagination and she felt her smile widen everytime he did it. She loved it. She loved _him_. She smiled at him as he pressed her fingers between his own.

"I'm not going anywhere you know." she teased weakly.

Jake grinned. "I know." he said quietly. "But just in case..."

She giggled as he squeezed her fingers again before bending down to kiss her. As he stood back up, he whispered something in her ear and they all watched curiously as Peyton's pale face finally got some color in her cheeks.

"Jake!" she said, blushing furiously."Is that--is that even...possible?"

Nathan and Lucas laughed as Peyton's blush deepened at Jake's suggestive nod. He bent his head to whisper again but Haley intervened in an attempt to save her friend from any further embarassment.

"Uh,uh none of that Jagleski." Haley laughed. "It's going to be a little while before any of _that_ is going to be happening."

Jake smiled slowly. " I don't know...Peyton isn't very patient..." he chuckled.

Peyton took a fragile swat at his arm and he caught her hand in his and kissed it. "Alright, alright..." he sighed. "We'll leave the handcuffs and hot wax out."

The room erupted in laughter again as more color rushed to Peyton's cheeks and she sighed and shook her head.

"Wow, if I didn't know any better I would swear that Brooke was whispering in your ear right now."

At the mention of Brooke's name, the room fell into a deep silence.

Peyton's eyes slowly drifted from face to face as her friends looked at anything but her. Talk about convo-stopper, she thought as she surveyed each expression. Jake's face was closed-off but he looked tense and thoughtful. Nathan's eyes were completely averted but his jaw was clenched and his forehead was furrowed. Haley's face was almost completely expressionless...except for her eyes which were on Lucas and Lucas...

Peyton felt her own forehead wrinkle at the expression on his face. Anger, as intense as it was strong radiated from him in heated waves and it showed no signs of abaiting. To say that Lucas was furious was an understatement. Peyton slowly looked at Nathan.

"Where is...Brooke?" she asked slowly. "Jake said that she was with you..."

Nathan's eyes met Haley's briefly before locking with Peyton's. "She was." he said quietly."But...she didn't come with me. She said that she couldn't--"

"Good." Lucas said quietly.

Peyton looked at him and he returned her gaze woodenly. "Finally she's making a _good _decision. Too bad it's too little too late."

Haley sighed "Lucas--"

"No he's right Haley." Jake said angrily. "Brooke has proved that she doesn't think about anyone but herself. At least for _once_ she's thinking about Peyton."

"Dude come on..." Nathan interjected.

"Come on?" Lucas said incredulously. "Nathan you're not seriously defending her after what she did to you,are you? What she did to _all _of us?"

Nathan took a deep breath. He looked out the window for a moment before facing his brother. "What Brooke did, sucks okay? Yes, it sucks!" he said matter-of-factly. "But...she made a mistake! None of us can say that we've never done that."

Lucas scoffed. "None of us can say that we've drugged a person either."

Haley touched his arm soothingly. "Lucas." she said slowly. "He does have a point--"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this!" Jake said loudly. "Haley you too? Peyton told me what Brooke did. If anyone should be angry at her, it's _you_!"

"I am angry Jake!" Haley cried. " And I'm disgusted and disappointed and sad too!" She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "But the Brooke that we know, didn't do this. The Brooke that did this was cold, calculating..." she looked at each of them."...and heartbroken. When she lost Lucas, it broke her heart. _Again._ We can't be so quick to judge her actions when we don't understand where her head was at! I mean the Brooke that we know and love would _never_ have done any of this---"

"But she _did_ Haley!" Lucas said softly. "That's what hurts! That's what makes this unforgivable! _Brooke_ did this. Not some stranger off the street, not some slight acquaintance... Brooke.That vindicative bitch tried to wreck our lives and I won't forget it."

Nathan's frown deepened. " Lucas--"

"No Nate...he's right."

Five pairs of eyes turned towards the doorway. Brooke stood there trembling, her eyes red-rimmed and her raspy voice even raspier from crying. She stared at them all in silence her eyes coming to rest on the one pair of eyes she'd thought she'd never see again.

"Lucas is right." she whispered. "You're all right. _I _did this.I made the decision to hurt you guys and...I succeeded. I almost destroyed you. You who I call my best friends...What a joke right?"

She stared at Peyton and her eyes began to water. She took a couple of steps towards her before stopping abruptly and bit her lip as tears streamed down her face.

"I wanted to hurt you guys for hurting me but...in the end...I hurt myself." She looked at Lucas and Haley. "I finally understood...too late.You didn't fall in love to hurt me." she said softly. She looked at Nathan. "And your heart wasn't a toy that I could use to my benefit." She looked at Jake and Peyton. "And you didn't set out to hurt me just to protect Lucas and Haley. You hurt _for _meAnd I should have seen that. But I didn't. And I've lost you all for it." She shook her head as she slowly looked at them all. "And I'm _so_ sorry!" She sobbed. "I really am! And I know that I've lost you but I wanted to tell you all one last time. I wanted you to know..."She gazed at Peyton. "And I wanted you to know how sorry I am that I hid your letters. If you hadn't--" her voice broke and she tried again. "If you had never woken up, I don't know if I ever would have forgiven myself. " She looked at Jake. "I'm sorry to you both."

Her eyes slowly met Peyton's again and she tried to smile but it never reached her mouth. "I'm glad you're okay." she said brokenly. "I'm glad..."

She covered her mouth with her hand as a sob threatened to break out and she turned to leave but Peyton's voice stopped her.

"Are you done?" she asked quietly.

Brooke stared at her too stunned to speak and she gazed back expressionlessly.

"Are...you done...talking?" she repeated slowly.

Brooke nodded wordlessly and Peyton adjusted herself slightly, flinching at the ache in her body as she moved.Then she stopped and took a deep breath before she spoke again.

"Good." she said softly. "Because it's my turn to talk now." she said as she gazed around the silent room. "And you are _all_ going to listen."


	52. Happily Ever

**I have to take a moment to thank ALL of you who have read _JAST_ and loved it and kept on reading & reviewing till the bitter, happy end. You guys kept me motivated. Kayla, you ROCK! Thanks for all the great things you've said. Henka, Elsewhere, Mongoose, Tickle and all of you who liked this story, I'm glad I captured your attention for 52 chapters. Hopefully I'll be bringing something else to the table soon. Till then...**

* * *

Happily Ever

Peyton and Brooke stared at each other as the others waited anxiously to hear what Peyton had to say. Her forehead was furrowed thoughtfully for a moment as she gazed at the slender brunette she'd known for most of her life. Brooke looked ready to bolt out the door but she stood completely still, her eyes trained on the pale blonde, waiting anxiously like the others. And then finally, Peyton spoke.

"When I found out what you did to Lucas and Haley, I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe that the girl that I'd practically grown up with, the girl who was not only my best-friend but my _sister..._ had done such horrible things."

Brooke stared at the floor watching as her tears hit the tiles, one by one.

Peyton stared at her, pain etched on every part of her face. "And when...when I found out about the letters..." Her voice broke off and Jake took her hand. She glanced up at him appreciatively and took a deep breath before continuing. "When I found out that you had been keeping them from me, I knew that our friendship was over.Not because of everything you've done but because of how you obviously felt. Because... you hated me."

"I didn't!" Brooke said abruptly. "I don't, Peyton." She gazed at Peyton desperately wanting her to believe her. "I was just so blinded by how hurt I felt---I couldn't see pass it. But I do now. I do now."

Peyton stared at her for another long moment. And then she nodded slowly.

"I believe you Brooke." she said softly. "I believe you..."

She paused and her forehead furrowed slightly before straightening out as a gradual peace descended on her.

"And I...I forgive you." she whispered.

In the quiet after her voice faded away,the room suddenly filled with a silence so thick it sounded loud.

And then it erupted.

"You're kidding right?" Lucas said tensely."This is a joke? This has to be a joke!"

"It _is_ a joke!" Jake said heatedly. "It can't be real--seriously,where's the hidden camera?"

"Dude chill-out!" Nathan yelled. "It's her decision! It's her right--"

"Please calm down guys, _please_!" Haley pleaded.

But the noise only got louder as Brooke and Peyton stared at each other in stricken silence,unable to move,unsure of what to do. Someone made the decision for them.

The door flew open as an irate-looking nurse hurried into the room.

"What is the meaning of this!" she said sternly."Be quiet right now--all of you!"

The room grew quiet immediately and the nurse looked around at them, her eyes wide and angry.

"Do you realize that we can hear you all the way down the hall?" She said as she approached Peyton. "Yelling and screaming and arguing like a bunch of grade-schoolers! Why? Your friend is awake and all you can do is argue? Don't you have anything better to do? Like be grateful that she's alive--that you're all alive and that you have each other?"

She stared at each of them over the top of her glasses,frowning severely until her eyes rested on Peyton. They narrowed at the sight of Peyton's hightened color and she shook her head regretfully.

"I'm sorry but I can't have this. I'm afraid you are all going to have to leave. Ms. Sawyer has just woken up from a coma and she can't afford to be riled-up--"

Haley shook her head. "No please, just a little bit longer--"

"We're really sorry." Jake added sincerely.

"We won't make anymore noise..." Nathan said quietly.

"..._Please_." Brooke said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Strangely, it was her plea that the nurse reacted to. She surveyed Brooke closely, her eyes scrutinizing and contemplative before she nodded slightly and started for the door.

"Okay." she said slowly, her hand on the doorknob. "I'll give you one more chance. But if anymore yelling comes from this room..."

She looked at each of them, her face rigid and hard leaving the sentiment unfinished and opened the door. But then she stopped again and looked at them, her face settling into a thoughtful smile.

"You know...I would have given anything to have a group of friends who loved me as much as you all obviously love each other. A group of friends who were more like family than people I met along the way..." She smiled at them. "You guys are blessed to have each other.You really are. Always remember that. Always remember to hold on to each other."

She left the room in complete silence behind her. They were all looking at each other, their faces a mixture of uncertainty, anger... and awareness. A newfound awareness of what they all had together. A strange togetherness like that of seperate strings on a spider-web;not quite together but never apart. But...

The anger was still there.Bright and glaring red...and refusing to let the newfound realization completely shift the focus off of Brooke's actions.

Lucas stared at her, his eyes cool and unbending, shattering only a little when Haley took his hand, giving him the strength he needed to say what was on his mind.

"How Peyton?" he whispered, finally breaking the silence. His question was heartfelt and wondering as he stared at her.He trully wanted to know. "How can you let go of it all? How can you forgive her after..._everything_?"

Peyton looked at him, her eyes filling at the pain in his.

"Because...Lucas." she said softly. " Because...I was five the first time she held my hand while I cried. And she never let it go...even when I squeezed hers so hard, both our fingers ached."

She looked at Brooke. "Do you remember?"

A single tear streamed down Brooke's face as she nodded, barely able to talk. "I do." she whispered.

Peyton smiled slightly as she looked at Jake. "And after my mom died...she was there for me. The _whole_ time. She never left me. She even threw a fit when her parents tried to take her home so they let her sleep with me. For _weeks!_"

Her eyes misted over as they slowly met Nathan's. "And she held on... so tightly even then. She whispered to me at night when I couldn't sleep,letting me know that I would never be alone...she helped me brush my teeth and my hair when I didn't ever want to move again."

She turned and gazed at Haley. "We were just kids! These little kids who could barely tell time... and yet she made me want to live when I just wanted to crawl into that casket with my mom."

She looked at Brooke. "You never let me fade away, no matter how much I wanted too..." she whispered. And... you've been my best friend ever since."

Brooke was sobbing into her hands but she barely made a sound and Peyton smiled at her through her own tears.

"Yes...you hurt me. You hurt us all--including yourself. And yes...it's going to take awhile for all of us to heal completely..." She glanced down at her aching body and added wryly, "Some more than others and in more ways than one but..." She looked at Brooke. "I _love_ you. I love you very much. The charge nurse had it right. What we have is rare." She looked at her friends. "What we all have is rare, and crazy, and strange..." She looked at Jake and smiled. "...and beautiful."

She looked at Brooke. "It's not going to be easy, making it like it was, but I'm willing to do everything it takes. I'm willing."

Ever so slowly she stretched out her hand to Brooke. " You've been there for me every step of the way whenever I've needed you and even when I haven't." She smiled shakily."It's my turn now."

Brooke stared at Peyton's hand for a moment, her eyes fixed on it like it was a lifejacket and she was drowning.

And then she reached for it and held on tightly. And as Peyton's fingers closed over hers, they all knew that every word that Peyton had spoken was being sealed in that grasp--a promise that would never be broken.

Haley looked at Lucas. His gaze was on Peyton and Brooke's linked fingers and the anger in his eyes had ebbed away, but there was still alot of pain in their depths. She turned and slid her arms around his waist, inching up on the tips of her toes until her lips were right by his ears.

"It's going to be hard," she said softly. "but what Peyton said is true. Holding on to any anger will only destroy what we all have together." She held him tighter as she looked at him, willing her words to reach him. "I've already forgiven her Luke. And I feel... free. Please let it go, baby. Let the anger... go."

She pulled away from him to look into his eyes and he gazed at her, his eyes locked tightly with hers as they travelled acoss her face.

Across the room, Jake was watching Brooke and Peyton silently. He took a long, deep breath before taking Peyton's free hand in his.

" I...I want to forgive you Brooke." He said slowly. "And I think I will be able to. But it's going to be a process, and it's going to be slow."

Brooke looked at him, grateful for his honesty, understanding that there was no more resentment in his words.

"Thank you Jake." she said softly."Thank you."

She turned and slowly looked at Nathan. His face was still and expressionless but his eyes were filled with the same peace and forgiveness that had shone from them earlier that day. He smiled slightly, a very small smile that played across his features and she returned his gaze with a slow smile of her own. She knew that they were already on the path to forgiveness and the thought made her feel...oddly light and hopeful. She broke their gaze, wondering at the sudden warmth on her cheeks and took a deep breath.She'd figure it out later. Right now...there were other things on her mind. Other people...

She slowly looked at Haley, her eyes darkening sadly and Haley slowly let go of Lucas and turned to face her.They stared at each other for a moment and Brooke held her breath unsure of what to expect. Haley had become one of her best-friends and she'd hurt her in so many ways. Could she ever really make amends? Would Haley even accept them? She watched as Haley took a step towards her and raised her hand. _She's going to slap me_, Brooke thought wildly. But instead... she wordlessly extended it. Brooke froze for a moment, stunned before readily taking it between both of her own. Her eyes filled with tears again as she stared at the open smile on Haley's face.

"I'm sorry." she whispered brokenly. "I'm _so_ sorry Haley."

Haley nodded."I know." she said softly. "Me too,Tigger...me too."

Brooke stared at her wistfully. "Do you think...will we ever get back--what we had? Will we ever be as close as we were?"

Haley gazed at her, her brown eyes intent and thoughtful. "I hope so." she said finally. "I really hope so...one day."

Brooke nodded slowly."I hope so too." she whispered. She smiled slowly. And then she looked at Lucas.

Lucas eyes were on the floor, his arms lying still against his sides. He looked thoughtful and grave. But the anger...the barely pent-up rage...it wasn't there anymore. Ever so slowly, he raised his head until his eyes were locked with hers. And finally, he spoke.

"I'm angry at you Brooke." he said quietly. "I'm really...angry."

Haley reached for his hand and he gripped it tightly in his.

"But...I don't hate you. I really don't. And..." he looked at her steadily. "I want you to be okay. I want _us_ to be okay."

Brooke smiled shakily as they looked at one another. "Well..." she whispered finally. "that's more than I expected you to ever want again so...it's a start. It's a _great_ start."

Something like a smile whispered across Lucas features and Haley squeezed his hand as her heart welled up with intense emotion. He smiled at her and the look in his eyes reflected everything that she was feeling inside. She suddenly wanted to be alone with him more than anything else in the world at that moment. Instead, she lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it.

The room seemed to be filled with a warm glow that none of them could actually see or touch, but every single one of them felt. It pulled them in closer to each other, replacing the hurt, cooling the anger, fading the sadness, until all that was left was promise and love. A whole lot of love.

Nathan looked around the room slowly. All of them were smiling, a far cry from the looks that were flying across the room when Brooke first walked in. It was nice...really. But he was drained both emotionally and physically. And he was hungry.It was time to start rebuilding and he for one, wanted to start with his stomach.

"Okay, so I'm famished." he said abruptly.

"So what else is new." Haley grinned.

He grinned back. "Don't act like you're not Ms. Valedictorian. I've seen you tear up a double-meat burger or two in your day."

Haley stuck her tongue out at him and he grinned. " So...anyone up for some chinese? I'm really feeling some eggrolls right now..."

"And I'm feeling anything that isn't hospital slop!" Jake said eagerly."I'm starving!"

Peyton looked up at him. "Go ahead, I'll be alright without you. For a little while." she smiled.

"Will they even let you go?" Haley asked curiously.

"Probably not--if I ask them." Jake grinned. "But seeing as I have no intention of doing that..."

He bent down and kissed Peyton's forehead. "I'll be right back babe."

"You better!" Peyton quipped. "Or I'll have to let some hot doctor take me off your hands!"

"Over my disabled body!" Jake grinned and kissed her again before hobbling towards the door after Nathan. Nathan paused and looked at Brooke.

"Brooke...you wanna ride?" he asked hesitantly.

Brooke glanced at Peyton before shaking her head at Nathan. "No thanks. I have absolutely no appetite right now." She smiled at him."I think I'll just hang here until Jake gets back... But thanks."

Nathan nodded. "Okay..." He paused and looked at her again. "Hey...are you going to need a lift later? When I drop-off Jake? You did...come with me. Kinda."

Brooke smiled at him. "Yeah...That would be great. Thanks Nate."

Nathan smiled back at her. "Sure."

Haley glanced from one of them to the other and back again, a small quizzical frown wrinkling her forehead. And then a slow,wide smile inched across her face. A thought tried to flourish inside her mind...but she stilted it. It was too early and wounds were still very deep...but suddenly she could see into the future. And it looked bright for all of them.

Nathan turned to her and Lucas and she forced the knowing smile away as their eyes met.

"Haley? Lucas? You guys up for it?"

Haley and Lucas looked at each other, their eyes telegraphing silently what they both were really up for before Lucas calmly turned back to his brother with a nonchalant grin.

"Actually man we're not really that hungry but-- thanks for offering."

Haley held back a smile at the remarkable restraint in her boyfriend's voice. Despite how eager they were to be alone, only they seemed to be aware of the glaringly obvious fact. She let her thumb caress the middle of Lucas hand out of sight, silently hoping that they could make it to the car before doing any of the things that she knew were already running rampant in both their minds. Lucas smiled down at her in a way that made her warm to the tips of her toes and she let go of his hand. One more moment of this and Brooke and Peyton were going to get a show.With an R-rating.

Nathan and Jake were plotting as they walked out of the room.

"No, dude it won't work if _I_ pretend to be the orderly, I'm all broken-up!" Jake was saying.

"True." Nathan answered thoughtfully. "Okay, first thing's first. Let's..._borrow_ an orderly's jacket and break you out of this joint...then we worry about the security guards..."

The others laugher followed them out of the room and Lucas and Haley's eyes met briefly before they looked at Brooke and Peyton.

"Okay that's our cue." Lucas said breezily.

"Yeah, we have some things to do--errands to run and all that." Haley said quickly.

"So we'll see you guys later." Lucas added.

"Okay." Peyton said softly as they each kissed her forehead. "See you guys."

"Mmhmm." Lucas said quickly as he grabbed Haley's hand in his again and began to move her towards the door.

"Love you Peyt." Haley said as Lucas opened the door.

"Love you too." Peyton called after them.

Haley smiled at Brooke as they started to leave but Brooke's voice stopped them at the door.

"Oh by-the-way, just so you know, I'll be spending the night at Bevin's. We have some cheers to go over... you know with school starting in a couple of days and all so...don't expect me at the house tonight." She looked at them. "Just thought I'd let you know..."

She smiled slowly and they stared at her as the door started to swing between them, unsure of what to say. But then they saw her trademark dimples make a brief appearance as her eyes met with theirs and her smile widened knowingly. And just as the door closed between them, she winked at them and laughed out loud. A carefree laugh that none of them had heard in a long while. A sincere, and heartfelt laugh that held no secrets and told no lies. A trademark Brooke Davis laugh from what seemed like a distant dream. A dream that was once again, slowly becoming reality.

And they all knew that the healing had begun.

* * *

Lucas closed the bedroom door behind them and locked it as he turned to look at Haley who stood silently in front of him. He couldn't believe that the moment had finally arrived. He and Haley were in love with each other and...it was _okay_. There were no more lies, and secrets and betrayal surrounding them or what they felt. Everything was out in the open just the way that it should have been from the very beginning, just the way it was always meant to be. He reached for her and his hand shook a little as it touched her cheek. 

"Is this real?" he whispered as she turned his hand on her face and kissed his palm.

She looked at him, her eyes sparkling and happy in her face. "Yes." she laughed. "Can you believe it? I can't. I mean I _really_ can't believe that this is happening!"

"Well believe it Haley James." Lucas said as he pulled her closer to him. "This is real. This has always been real."

She looked up into his eyes as he stared down at her for a moment before slowly lowering his head and kissing her. It was a slow, lingering kiss that began as sweet and softly as he felt she was before heating up and becoming as warm and passionate as what they felt for each other.

He lifted her in his arms, their lips never breaking apart and walked over to his bed where they lay down together as one, the heat of their bodies already searing through their clothes.

They pulled apart for a moment, their breathing stilted as he pulled her shirt over her head and she unfastebned his belt buckle, but their lips found each other again unable to stay apart as the fire inside each of them grew, fueling each others movements. Haley pulled Lucas shirt off, following every part of his bare skin with her mouth, kissing a path to his collar bone as he tugged at her jeans. He moaned her name as her tongue darted against the sensitive part of his throat, igniting his passion further. He pulled her jeans from her legs, following his movements with his lips, his tongue gliding against her abdomen, and her navel and her thighs, his kisses searing his touch onto her skin until she could barely take it anymore.

"Lucas." she gasped pulling him closer, capturing his mouth with hers as they pushed the last of their clothes away and reached into the side bureau. Their bodies were already slick as she kissed his temple and his forehead and his cheeks, her legs wrapped tightly around him as she felt him move against her.He paused suddenly as they gasped for air, lost in the warmth of each other and he brushed the hair from her forehead as their eyes met.Their hearts were beating erratically against each other and their breathing was fast and breathless, but everything seemed to slow down in that moment as their eyes locked. He caressed her cheeks as she reached up and pushed the hair from his forehead.

"I love you." he whispered softly. "I love you with everything that I am...and everything that I have."

Haley's eyes filled as she saw the sincerity shining from his eyes. She touched his cheek.

"And I love you Lucas." she whispered. "More than I thought was possible...I love you."

He smiled at her slowly his eyes filled with all the emotion that he couldn't put into words, only actions as he bent his head to kiss her again just as he moved to join their bodies. She cried out, the sound lost in his mouth as their lips moved against each other over and over again just as their bodies did, sliding against each other again and again...and again, until they were breathless.

And then...their movements slowed, until they were completely still and they lay together wrapped in each other's arms as their breathing slowed. Haley's fingers traced a pattern on Lucas back over and over, his heartbeat vibrating against her hand as they lay there in silent contentment. He kissed her shoulder and the crook of her neck slowly and tenderly and she smiled relishing the feel of every part of his body against hers.

"I can feel you smiling..." Lucas said softly.

Haley opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him.

"How? Your eyes are closed." she laughed.

Lucas opened his eyes and looked at her,a sleepy grin brightening his face. "What can I say? It's all in the hands.Whenever I touch you here..." he said sliding his hand across her abdomen. "You smile."

Haley giggled. "Oh really? Is that how you just 'knew'?"

Lucas arched his eyebrows cutely. "Yup."

"Okay..." Haley said slowly. "Hmmm... I wonder what happens when_ I _touch you _here_..." She slid her hand down his back, lower and lower and Lucas laughed and flipped her over, pinning her to the bed as she tried to escape to touch him again.

"Oh no you don't, it my turn." he laughed.

"Your turn to...what?" Haley said suggestively.

Lucas lowered his head. "It's my turn to--I'll tell you if you stop wiggling,Haley! Hold still!"

Haley giggled. "No, it tickles!

"Haley--"

"Lucas!" Haley laughed.

"Hello?"

Haley and Lucas froze.

"Hello?" they heard the voice call again.

"No." Lucas said stunned.

"It can't be!" Haley whispered.

"Lucas?" they heard the voice call-out. "Haley? I'm home! Where is everyone?..."

Lucas and Haley stared at each other. It couldn't be. But it was.

Karen Roe was finally home.

And they were both naked. In bed. _Together._

Haley opened her mouth and Lucas covered it.

"Please tell me you weren't about to call my mother in here Haley." he whispered.

Haley smiled."Just wanted to see how pale I could make you turn."she whispered back giggling at his expression. "What? Your mom's used to seeing us in bed together. We sleep together all the time."

Lucas chuckled. "Yeah but we usually have our clothes _on_."

Haley tilted her head in amusement. "Good point."

Suddenly they saw the doorknob turn and Haley hid her head in Lucas shoulder.

"Lucas?" they heard his mom call out.

There was a pause and then they heard her mumble something about him accidentally locking his room again. They listened closely as she made her way down the hall and out of the house and then the sound of a car starting, only letting themselves breathe when they heard her car drive away.

They stared at each other for a moment before erupting into laughter.

"That could have been traumatizing..." Lucas chuckled.

"On _so_ many levels." Haley joked as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

They smiled at each other.

"So what do you think? " Haley asked. "The cafe or the club?"

They looked at each other. "Both." they said simultaneously.

Lucas smiled as he lowered his head until their foreheads were touching and they stayed like that for a moment. She looked into his eyes feeling her heart melt at his expression.

"Hi." she whispered.

"Hi." he said back. He kissed her forehead and they held each other tightly, neither of them wanting to pull away.Then he sighed and looked at her.

"Let's go."

"Mmmm..." she moaned. "I so don't want to leave this bed yet." She said snuggling even deeper under the covers as Lucas got up.

He bent over her and kissed her softly before tickling her sides causing her to sit up.

"Come on, we'll come back..." he said smiling softly."Let's go see my mom. I want to tell her that I'm in love."

Halry looked at him, a small smile spreading across her face. "Well when you put it that way..." She said standing slowly.

Lucas shook his head as he watched her."Wow.You are _so_ beautiful." he whispered.

Haley put her arms around him. "So are you." she whispered back.

They shared a soft lingering kiss before slowly pulling away and putting on their clothes. After finding her underwear across the room, she slid into her jeans before lifting her arms as he helped her slide her shirt over her head. She caught him smiling and answered it with one of her own.

"What? What are you thinking?"she asked.

Lucas slid his arms around her waist drawing her closer. "Alot of things. Like how much I love you and how lucky we are to have finally seen what was right in front of us."

"'Bout time wouldn't you say?" Haley teased.

Lucas chuckled. "Better late than never." he said softly.

"Still, the early bird catches the worm." she giggled playing along.

"But a rolling stone catches no moss." he laughed.

She laughed with him but grew serious as his eyes locked with her own.

"Really...what else were you thinking?" she asked.

Lucas looked at her,a slow smile spreading across his face. "I was thinking... that as far as ilicit affairs go, ours wasn't so bad."

Haley smiled wryly. "Yeah...it wasn't so bad. What's a little heartbreak, betrayal, and resentment among friends? In fact, how about we do it again? Soon?"

Lucas nodded thoughtfully. "I was thinking the _exact_ same thing." he murmured."How's your schedule looking for this fall? It could be short, hot, fun... which would be pretty convenient. You know how cold I get during the fall. This would be more useful than a space heater..."

Haley pretended to be thoughtful too."Hmmm, so it would be just a...just a _fall _thing?" she asked.

"Precisely." Lucas nodded in sastisfaction."A fall thing. I like the sound of that."

Haley smiled teasingly. "Yeah it does sound great. Then during the winter we could have a winter thing."

Lucas grinned. "Perfect! And then maybe we could get together during the spring?"

Haley nodded slowly and they looked at each other. "A spring fling!" they said simultaneously.

Lucas chuckled. You know...that could really work."

Haley nodded nonchalantly."Sounds good to me."

Lucas looked at her trying to hide his grin, failing miserably. "Okay it's a deal.You and me, an affair for every season."

Haley tilted her head. "So basically...we'll be together forever?"

"Yup." Lucas sighed nodding resignately. "You gotta do what you gotta do, I guess."

Haley schrugged. "Okay, whatever...Sounds like a plan."

Lucas looked at her, his eyes narrowed questioningly. "So...should we shake on it?"

Haley tried to look serious. "Shake on it? I don't know...sounds kinda serious... Do I have to sign anything?" .

Lucas shook his head thoughtfully. "No, a kiss should do it. Yeah, a kiss will be fine..."

He smiled slowly then, arching his eyebrows suggestively and Haley tried to stay serious but his expression was priceless and she burst into laughter as she threw her arms around him.

"Okay, okay already! I'll kiss you!" she said. "But only because you insist..."

They laughed as they held each other, but all their joking faded away as Lucas took her face in his hands and gazed at her, memorizing every feature on her face, every emotion in her eyes... before he kissed her softly.And when his mouth touched hers, lingering even when the kiss was done, everything else faded away until it was only them. Lucas and Haley...

Just a forever thing.


End file.
